Mr. Harry Robert Clarke Merritt

From 1951-1956 my father, Leading Seaman Radar Control 2 Harry Robert Clarke Merritt 15785-H, served in the Royal Canadian Navy. He served on the HMCS Algonquin, HMCS Quebec, HMCS Micmac and HMCS Haida. He travelled the world visiting exotic and not so exotic ports of call and brought home many souvenirs of his adventures. He then joined the Canada Customs and Revenue Agency and retired after 32 years of loyal service in 1989.

He dedicated his life to doing everything he could to raise his three sons in the best way he knew how.

My father was many things to many people a friend, a son, a brother, a husband, a father, and a grandfather but to me he was not just my dad he was my best friend.

He had many friends, true friends. He always told me “bi, you will meet many people in your life and you will make friends but you are a lucky man if you have one person you can call a true friend”. My father was one of my true friends. The kind of friend who is there for you no matter what and will do whatever it takes to help you in your time of need. He was a shoulder to cry on, an ear when I needed someone to talk to, a teacher, a mentor, a companion and a confidant. My father was my foundation, the rock on which I built my life. He protected me, grounded me and guided me through the many trials and tribulations of my life. I always felt loved by him and new that he would always be there for me no matter what happened. I can not even begin to imagine how much I am going to miss him.

In recent years my father’s health was beginning to get the better of him. He spent a great deal of time in hospital and this past year he spent 4 months in hospital and then moved into a nursing home in June. He was suffering from rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes and dementia. His Dr’s had exhausted all medications to control his arthritis and he spent the last 2 years on nothing more than high doses of pain medication and steroids to control his pain and allow him some measure of mobility. Of course these medications wreaked havoc on his blood sugars and caused him to experience more dementia and hallucinations. Therefore he needed more medications in increasingly higher doses to control his diabetes and dementia. This was going to be a never ending cycle of altering drug doses to maintain some semblance of a quality life with no real hope for curing any of what ailed him. His vision was failing, due to the diabetes, his heart was working overtime trying to deal with all of the medications and the stresses on his body and he was at times growing depressed about what the future held for him. He told me he was afraid that one day he would no longer remember who I was and that scared him. When he had his bouts of dementia he knew it was happening and was powerless to control it. Quality of life meant everything to him and for a long time he felt helpless and sad about his future.

In September I suffered a massive brain haemorrhage and my father rose to the occasion. He spoke to me on the phone when I was in recovery and with an authoritative supporting voice that I will never forget assured me that I was going to be fine and he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Cousin John Anguish brought my dad to visit me in the Hospital and I think he was a little struck by the severity of my situation because he leaned in to me and told me that everything was going to be ok but if I should make it to heaven before him he would be right behind me.

When I recovered enough to come home Shelley and I would go and visit dad and every time I saw him he was thrilled to see me, he was always happy to see me before but he really lit up when he saw me. He was so happy that I was ok and every visit ended with a hug, kiss and an I love you.

Shelley and I saw my father on the Friday before he died, he was having lunch and he was thrilled to see us, he looked so good and so happy. He literally radiated happiness. When we left I said goodbye and held his hand, I did not give him a hug or told him that I loved him – if I had only known that would be the last time I would ever speak to him I would have never left his side.

I received the phone call on Sunday evening around 5 pm that dad had suffered a heart attack and had passed away, I was assured that it was quick and he was not alone, one of his nurses was with him when he passed. When I arrived at the nursing home I meet cousin John Anguish and as we waited for My brother Stephen and the funeral director to come and take dad we listened to the staff member’s stories about dad and how much of a joy he was to be around, he always had a sense of humour and a chocolate loonie for them. He touched their lives, as he has for so many others, he was a very special man and someone I am proud to saw was my father.

I am comforted by the fact that he went so quickly and did not have to endure the indignity and suffering of what the future held for him. He is in heaven now with all of his family and friends that have gone before him, free and without pain. I will miss him dearly but I know that for the rest of my life he will be watching over me, protecting me and guiding as he always has.

Godspeed dad, thank you for everything you have done, for being a terrific father and for being my true friend - I will always love you.

Brian D. Merritt

December 5, 2008

Merritt, Harry Robert Clarke

Peacefully at Gilmore Lodge (Ft. Erie) on November 30, 2008 in his 76th year. Loving father of Brian and Shelley, Stephen and Sam, and David. Proud grandfather of Michael, Sarah and Ryan, Jade and Holli, Kevin, Sarah and Meagan. Dear Brother of Roy and Vonnie, John and Betty and Dorothy and Al Bird. Fondly remembered by John and Barb Anguish, and Roy Anguish. Also sadly missed by many other family and friends. Donations to the Arthritis Society would be appreciated by the family.