Kenneth William Clewell

It is difficult to find words to best describe a person, let alone write a life story of someone so loved. A person has many facets, which may be perceived differently by different people. For that reason, Ken’s life story is a compilation of those perceptions, best expressed as memories from loved ones in his life. Tony Pehle – Friend My friend Kenny Clewell I don’t even remember when Kenny and I met at Reed High school or what year, but I think it may have been in a drafting class or working at Mervyn’s. Even though Kenny and I didn’t grow up together through elementary school or middle school it always felt like we were friends our entire lives. We spent a lot of time together in high school and the beginning of college. Mostly just hanging out, playing basketball, going to parties in Canyon Hills, hanging out in the hot tub when his dad was at work, eating Little Caesar’s pizza (Little Hosebags as Kenny liked to call it) or just being together watching sports. We just enjoyed each other’s company and it was an easy friendship. Some friendship’s in life are difficult or challenging with disagreements and differing interests but not with Kenny. He was so easy going, easy to talk to and there when he was needed. I cherish those kinds of friendships in my life and feel blessed to have had Kenny as one of those friends. Whether it was months or years in between conversations we could always just pick up where we left off and talk like it had only been days or weeks since we last spoke. During college Kenny decided to move San Luis Obispo to attend Cal Poly and at the time I had moved to Sacramento for a while. We continued to stay in touch, and I went down and visited him a couple times, once to pick him up on the way to Disneyland. Crazy to think a couple of college guys going to Disneyland but we had a great time. After college, life got in the way and we weren’t in contact as much as we were when we were younger with careers, both of us getting married, buying our homes, me having kids, and basically becoming adults. But when we had the opportunities we tried to get together. If I had business in San Diego, watching Nevada play a football game in San Diego, of course Disneyland, or Kenny coming to town to visit with his family. Ken was great about letting me know he was coming to town so we could at least get together for a meal to visit. I always looked forward to those visits even if they were only for a couple hours so we could catch up on life. Telling me about their trips and of course getting to know Di better with each visit. Kenny was more than just a friend he was family and his family is my family, I love all of them like they are my own. Hearing the news of Kenny’s passing was devastating to all and I felt like I lost a brother. We had probably seen each other more in the last few years than we had the previous 25 years. He and Di came to my daughter’s high school graduation party, our 30th high school reunion, Kenny’s 50th birthday party, and Kenny and Di visiting family for Christmas this last year. I was looking forward to our next visit together when I received the news from Becky, and I couldn’t even comprehend that he was gone. Kenny may be gone from this life, but he will never be forgotten. My dad always reminds me of how blessed I am to have the friends that I have in my life because most people don’t have friends that they keep in touch with for 35+ years and I completely agree with him because I was blessed to have Kenny in my life. I sure miss my friend and brother. Tony Pehle Tony Holben – Cousin Becky, Kenny and I are cousins. Our mothers are sisters and for all our childhood we were in some form together on holiday, summers and vacations. When he was little Kenny had way too much energy, way too little fear and seemed to enjoy testing anyone and everyone just see what the response would be. Early on Becky and I, being somewhat older saw this as annoying and took every opportunity to make him pay. Tickling was the torture of choice. Unfortunately for us Kenny enjoyed this game so the more we reacted the more he would tempt us. But most of the time when we were all together, we only had each other, so our age differences would diminish, and we would just play. We loved to swim, build stuff, ride bikes and explore. ...and we could spend a whole day outside making up things to do, only stopping for the ice cream man or dinner. Eventually however we made the unfortunate finding that Becky was a girl. Cooties and all. That was when Kenny and I would pick on Becky. Wait a minute, I just realized I was the constant perpetrator. Something for therapy someday. Anyway, we focused more on boy stuff, like Legos, bikes, games, swimming and continued our efforts to see how much trouble we could get in. I remember the time Kenny and I took our grandparents car and went swimming at the river. We were jumping off a rope swing and Kenny decided to dive head first off the rope. He hit the bottom with his face and had cuts all over his face. He was thankfully okay, but I had to tell his mom “I think I broke Kenny”. Kenny and I loved music so it was always a part of anything we were doing. Through our later teenage years we all three eventually grew to be closer and had a special bond. Besides we had together survived the kids vs. moms’ years, and they say experiencing combat together creates a bond. Love you “moms”. For Kenny and I our relationship never really changed. We tend to bring out the child in each other when together, and it was always easy. …and fun. Without a doubt we would today spend all day playing in the water at Tahoe or even building Legos while listening to Aerosmith and eating Lucky Charms …and it would feel normal. Grey hair and all. Arline McKinney – Mother Kenny – my loving son It’s almost impossible for a mother to write her son’s story when he has left this earth at such an early age, especially when he died so suddenly and unexpectedly. I will try my best, but this will be extremely difficult. Kenny was born on June 3, 1968 at St. Mary’s Hospital in Reno, Nevada at approximately 8:30 p.m. He was born 2 weeks early and was a little baby weighing only 6 pounds and being 19 and ½ inches long. His family included his father and mother, Larry and Arline McKinney (Clewell), his big sister, Becky (Goaky), his paternal grandfather and grandmother, Leo and Aletha Clewell, his maternal grandfather and grandmother, Homer and Susie Lundak. His other close relatives were his uncle and aunt, Chuck and Sandy Jorgensen and his cousin, Tony Holben and his uncle, Tom Clewell. His grandmother, Susie Lundak, said (when seeing him for the first time) he has the biggest hands and feet I’ve ever seen! Little did we know he would grow into those hands and feet as he grew to be a man. He was a good baby and always happy and smiling. He was always moving and was walking at 10 months. Kenny as a young toddler could be a test. He found so many ways to try his mother’s patience, even bringing her to frustration and tears on many occasions. He had an open dressing table and would pull himself up and be just tall enough to pull out all his folded clothes and throw them on the floor. He did this often. He stood on the dining room chair and looked at his mother and poured an entire box of cereal on the carpet. He just kept looking at his mother for her reaction. She told him to get down from the chair and pick up the cereal. He just kept looking at her - all the while with that impish look on his face. She finally had to physically pick him up, place him on the carpet, take his hand and make him start to pick up the kernels of cereal. He cried the entire time, but he found out that his mother could be more stubborn than he was. He also would take handfuls of soil from the house plants and throw them on the floor just to see if he could get away with it. He didn’t. He loved to test her patience. At a shopping center, his mom had to run a quick errand in one store. She tried to coax Kenny out of the car, but he stayed on the far side of the passenger seat and refused to get out of the car. His mother was not in the mood to play, so she locked him in the car and proceeded to run her 5-minute errand. When she returned to the car, Kenny was hysterically crying. He had learned a hard lesson and when he was asked to get out of the car, he never hesitated again. Kenny loved Captain Kangaroo and Sesame Street and he would sit still every morning while he watched these favorite programs. That was about the only time he was ever still. When he was a little older, he finally figured how to harness his energy. He would watch TV for a while and then go outside and play basketball until he had worn off that energy. After that, the process would start over. He knew how to entertain himself. It was very difficult to stay angry with Kenny because he was always happy. He loved his crib and would play in it for long periods of time. That only lasted until he got big enough to climb out of it. During those times, he would climb out, find his big yellow dump truck and push it around the floor until it was under a light switch. He would climb on it and turn on the lights in the house in the middle of the night. He couldn’t sleep so he thought the entire family should be awake too. When Kenny was about 2 years old, his mother and father enrolled him in the YMCA nursery school. He attended 2 or 3 days a week. When he was an adult, he told his mother how scared he was the first few times he was left. He didn’t think he would be picked up afterwards. His mother never knew he felt that way and was very upset to know that her small child was so frightened. He did grow to enjoy his days there and was excited to go. Kenny loved to learn and would master puzzle toys very quickly. He would build things with blocks and was extremely coordinated. He had a Tupperware ball with different shapes and would play with it for hours. He loved anything that challenged him. This would be a trait he would have his entire life. Kenny started school at 5 years old by attending kindergarten at Greenbrae Elementary School in Sparks, Nevada. He would spend his entire elementary education at that school. He had wonderful teachers who always enjoyed him in class. As busy as he was at home, he was a model student in class. When he was about 3 years old, his mother took him on a field trip with his sister’s class. She was apprehensive to take him because she wasn’t sure he would sit still on the hour bus ride. As it turned out, Kenny sat still on the entire ride with his hands folded in his lap. He was an entirely different child when it came to school. He was a good student and always made the honor roll. Kenny loved to be active and was always outside riding his big wheel or playing with friends in the neighborhood. He had some very special friends including, Steven, Todd, Richie, Matt and Bret. They were typical boys who got into “boy” trouble. Thank goodness it was never anything serious. They enjoyed playing basketball in the driveway and baseball in the street. We lived on a dead-end street, so it was the perfect playground. Kenny’s dad was a fireman and worked many hours, so he spent most of his time with his mother, sister, aunt and cousin on fun summer outings. We spent many days at Lake Tahoe, Bower’s Mansion swimming pool and park, Idlewild Park. He went to the Washoe County Fair and the circus every year along with some trips with the entire family. He went to Disneyland, rode the Willits/Fort Bragg train, went to Santa Land in California and a water park in Vacaville. He loved the water but only learned to swim on his own terms. He was not a child to jump into a pool with a parent waiting to catch him. This was probably because when he was about 2, his mother had taken him to Idlewild Park and he had climbed on a high platform. He was trying to slide down the fire pole but was clinging so tightly he couldn’t move. His mother told him to “let go”, meaning to lessen his grip but he took the comment literally and let go. He fell to the ground, cried, but thank goodness was not hurt. His mother had to choose her words more carefully after that. Kenny was only in the hospital once when he was about 8 years old. He had gotten the flu and had a high fever, so his parents took him to emergency. After examining him, the hospital decided he should be admitted overnight for observation. It was a frightening time for his parents, but by the next day he was much better and was released from the hospital. For being such an active child, he never broke a bone or was admitted to the hospital again. As an adult, Kenny admitted that he was terrified of needles. Once, when he went for a blood test, he actually passed out. It was unbelievable that someone with such an adventurous spirit would be terrified of injections. When Kenny was 50 years old, his family talked about it being time for his first colonoscopy. He said that he would be 50 for a year so he had plenty of time to have it done. Kenny passed away one month before his 51st birthday and never had to have that colonoscopy. In the summer of his 8th grade, Kenny spent 3 weeks during the summer at his Aunt Sandy’s and Uncle Chuck’s house in Vacaville. He wanted to spend time with his cousin Tony who was 4 years older than him. Tony was away at his Dad’s house in Atascadero, California. When his Aunt Sandy told him that Tony would not be home for another week or so, Kenny said that was okay, he would just stay and wait for him. Sandy and Chuck had a pool in the backyard, so Kenny was perfectly happy swimming all day and then watching TV in between. Sandy said Kenny would come in every now and then and ask if she was making lunch or dinner and she always replied “yes.” He had 3 squares a day and a pool to swim in and a TV to watch. Kenny’s mom and dad were afraid he might decide to live with his aunt and uncle. While he was there, he would sit with his Uncle Chuck while Chuck would teach him advanced math. He loved to learn and enjoyed all his math classes. Kenny attended Dilworth Middle School where one of his best friends was Richie Warfield. This is about the time he received his first computer and when his love/hate relationship with computers was born. In his junior year of high school, Kenny decided that he didn’t need as much supervision from his mother, so he chose to live with his dad. During that time, Kenny would spend more time at home with his mom and step-dad, John “Dad” when he wanted company or a meal. His even closer, adult son bond with his mother and Dad matured during this time and lasted his entire life. His very special friend, Tony Pehle, hung out a lot and they continued their close friendship until the end. Kenny worked at Mervyn’s and this is where he learned to neatly fold clothes and show respect for people working retail. He decided he would not choose this line of work for his career. Kenny graduated from Reed High School in 1968. He continued to be a good student and remain on the honor roll. He played on the Reed High School basketball team in his freshman year. Kenny was always conscious about spending money and worked from the time he was in elementary school. He had a paper route for 2 years and when he got a little older, he worked refinishing gym floors during the summer with Richie and his uncle. He also worked for a neighborhood roofing company for 2 summers. He would come home, exhausted and dirty from doing tar roofs but he had an amazing work ethic and managed to stick with it for 2 years. It was at that time that he realized that he needed a college education and a degree to have an opportunity at a better career. After he graduated from high school, Kenny attended the University of Nevada for a year before deciding to move to San Luis Obispo. He wanted to attend Cal Poly but needed to obtain residency first. He attended Quest Community College there, earned his two-year degree and then transferred to Cal Poly for his final 2 years of college. He worked hard to keep up his grades and earn money for college. He put himself through school with only a small amount of help from his family. He was determined to succeed. He graduated from Cal Poly in June 1992 Summa Cum Laude with a degree in ITS but found it difficult to find a permanent job in San Luis Obispo. He was offered a job in San Diego, but he didn’t think the salary would be enough to live there and pay off his student loans. When the company, GERS, offered him the job a second time, he took it and moved to San Diego. It was there that he met the love of his life, his wife, Di. When he showed us a picture of her the first time, we were not surprised that she was beautiful and of Asian descent. When he was in high school, we had taken him to dinner at an Asian restaurant. He commented on how attractive the Asian server was. He definitely loved their appearance. Kenny’s “dad”, John, and I were very fortunate to travel with Kenny and Di. We were so thrilled and happy the first time they invited us to go to Mexico with them. We spent a week in Zihuatanejo and enjoyed ourselves so much we looked forward to more trips with them. We spent two weeks in Costa Rico zip lining, river rafting and exploring the country. We visited the volcano and took a tour of the jungle. We also spent one week in the Cayman Islands during Pirate’s Week. We swam with the stingrays, enjoyed their Pirate’s Week Celebration and watched their parade. It was a wonderful time to be in that country. Later, we spent a week in Puerto Vallarta during the Halloween holiday. It was so enjoyable watching their dancing, trick or treating and celebrating the “Day of the Dead.” We will miss these times the most. Although as a child, Kenny could be head-strong, stubborn, and extremely willful, he was also the most loving sweet child anyone would be privileged to have. He grew up to be a strong, giving and thoughtful adult anyone would be privileged to have and his parents were extremely proud of the man he had become. He was a loving and giving husband to his wife, Di, and showed her in many big and small ways how much she meant to him. They lived, travelled, and just enjoyed each other’s company for the entire time that they had together. It was cut short and we are all missing his spirit, kind heart, sense of humor and love. Sleep well, Kenny. You will be in our thoughts and prayers forever. Becky Reid – Sister My baby brother, Kenny, was so unique and special. It is impossible to put into words what he meant to me. As a very young child, Kenny could be stubborn and sweet at the same time. Even though my brother and I fought a lot as kids, I would always choose to protect him. When we were younger, I remember telling on my brother and my dad threatened to smack him with his belt. I immediately recanted my story and told my dad not to hurt him! When we were not fighting, I protected my bother during special moments. One of my favorite pictures of us is when I was 4 and Kenny was 1. In the picture, he is holding my hand as if to say, “Protect me while we have our picture taken, because I have no idea what is going on.” I remember my brother was always ready and willing to pose for a photo probably because his mom loved to take pictures. Ken once told me that it was just easier to pose so he could “get it over with” and move on with whatever he was doing. Thankfully, all of the family loved to take pictures and because of this, we have many great memories. The things that I remember most from our childhood are trips to Lake Tahoe, Bower’s Mansion Pool, Deer Park Pool and Virginia City. Dad was often away at work and since mom didn’t work, we would switch off going from place to place. When we owned property in Virginia City, dad would throw us in the back of the camper and drive to VC at what felt like 70 miles per hour around all the curves and then toss us out at the pool with enough money to get through the gate and buy a treat. When we weren’t traveling to all of these great places in Nevada, Kenny would be hanging in his room listening to music, playing basketball, watching cartoons or playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. I remember when grandpa Homer and gramma Susie had a Winchell’s Donut Shop in Sparks, by the Kmart. We would go there early in the mornings to “help” make donuts. We mostly ate custard out of the 5 gallon buckets, but we had a great time watching the grandparents and helping customers. I remember very clearly when Kenny decided to move to San Luis Obispo. This was in the 80’s when there were no cell phones and no internet and it seemed like a crazy idea. I mean, who moves to another state to go to school and leaves their entire family? At first, I was confused and hurt. Then realizing Kenny was going to do what he wants, I came to like the idea that he picked a cool place to live. He loved the weather and was proud that he found a way to work his way through college. Kenny was the first one in our family to graduate from college and he set the standard of education that many family members have now accomplished, as well. I am thankful for the places he decided to live, because we got to visit SLO town back when it was still quaint and beautiful. Visiting the Madonna Inn was one of my most fond memories of his college years. One of my least favorite memories personally, in SLO, was when Kenny talked me into bungee jumping. It didn’t look too bad from the ground, so I decided to join him and John in jumping. Needless to say, it was terrifying from the top. When I decided that I wasn’t going to jump, the guy at the top of the jump pushed me off. I decided then and there that I would never bungee or parachute again in my life. To Kenny, he was just getting started with the crazy adventures. One of my fondest memories was when Kenny and I took several trips to Disneyland as young adults. My favorite was when we were both single and we went to Disneyland around 1994. This was when Toontown first opened and we wanted to see it right away!! We were like little kids on Christmas. I remember calling our mom from a cartoon phone. We had a blast and rode on each and every ride at least once. It didn’t matter what age group the ride was built for. Kenny and I were always little kids at heart when we were together. We also went to Medieval Times and acted like cavemen and yelled and screamed at the knights. Kenny loved life and lived his to the fullest. I always teased him and said that he had nine lives. I remember when he fell through the ice at Paradise Park while he was with my grandparents. Then, there was the time he climbed to the top of a pole and when my mom said “let go,” but really meant “let loose,” he let go and fell to the ground. There was also the time he dove head first into the Truckee River and scratched the whole front of his face. He was lucky to walk away from that one. Once, Kenny and his friend Richie Warfield did the Walkathon. While walking down East 9th Street in Reno (think low income housing in the 70’s), they played “Dirty White Boy,” by Foreigner, on a boom box as loud as they could. When Kenny wasn’t going on adventures, he loved to work in his yard and wanted his lawn to be perfect. I remember visiting one time when he was mowing his lawn with a push mower. He then got on his hands and knee’s, fluffed up the lawn where the tire tracks had gone and proceeded to clip manually with lawn trimmers. After that, he got the ShopVac out and vacuumed up all the little grass clippings. I told him he had too much time on his hands. He told me he found this very relaxing and rewarding. Kenny also loved music and thought it was very relaxing. I remember in 2005, Kenny bought a brand new Acura TSX and tore the entire car apart to install a custom sound system. Kenny always loved music and for him, the louder the better. There were times he picked us up from the airport, and we would have to sit with our luggage on our laps, because there was a big boom box in the trunk! I thought he was crazy for stripping down a brand new car, while still keeping protective film on the door sill plates. The car is 14 years old and the protective film is still in place. When Kenny moved to San Diego and met his wife Di, my brother always went out of his way to meet with family. I don’t remember ever going to Palm Springs, Los Angeles or even San Diego when Kenny didn’t make a point of spending at least a long weekend with us. When I traveled to San Diego for conferences, he would meet me for dinner and escort me to after parties in Balboa Park. Most recently in 2018 and 2019, we spent a lot of family time together, which I will cherish dearly. In June of 2018, Kenny celebrated his 50th birthday. Although he didn’t want a party, I talked him into it and we all had such a great time. He got to spend time with family that he hadn’t seen in a long time and we also spent time in Graeagle. We hiked Lakes Loop, which is my favorite hike and I am so glad I got to share it with my brother. When the Lacerna family trip to Yosemite got canceled in July 2018 they decided to come to Graeagle and spend the week with us. We had a blast staying at Wendy’s cabin, kayaking and hanging out. In September 2018, we decided to go to San Diego and attend the Miramar Air Show. We got tickets to the VIP tent and ate and drank to our heart’s content. That Sunday, we had bottomless mimosas with the Lacerna family. It was such a great show and even better weekend spending time with family! Christmas, 2018 was the best. We spent the entire week in Graeagle and everyone was there. My brother and Di bought me a coffee mug with a red Dachshund on it that looks just like Milo. It is and will always be my favorite mug. Our last trip together was when we went to San Diego to celebrate Di’s 50th birthday, Don’s 89th birthday and to see the desert bloom. Kenny was such a great tour guide and we saw some of the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen. Then we took a hike around cactus loop, which was truly amazing. We then celebrated Don’s birthday with a family brunch at Bonita Golf Course. I am truly thankful that we made the effort to spend so much time together, especially in the past year. I will never forget my brother and the impact he has had on my life. I will miss him forever and am thankful for his love and friendship. I am the luckiest girl on earth to have had 50 years of memories. It is with a heavy heart that I say bye for now and see you in heaven, baby brother. I miss you terribly. Di Lacerna – Wife Ken had a presence and carried himself with such charisma – you knew when he entered a room and you knew when he left it. His smile brightened the room and his always-energetic demeanor was contagious. He was impossible to ignore. He was gifted with a sense of humor, which never failed to make others laugh. Because of this infectious personality, people remember him. This same irresistible personality also carried into his work and the people he worked with. He was passionate about his work and always motivated others to be the same. He enthusiastically trained new-hires and frequently checked in with them. He ensured development followed a process. He created lasting friendships with many people he’s worked with. Ken was more than meticulous – everything had its place, and everything had to be positioned perfectly in its place. He would undoubtedly notice when a specific item is askew by even a millimeter. Exaggerations aside, it was an endearing quirk. As a result, he made himself an easy target for intentional harassing. It was easy to annoy him over such things. It was entertainment for those that did it deliberately. He knew it and played along with it. That’s how good natured he was. To him, if you’re going to dish it out, you must be able to accept it in return because he will get you back. Ken was adventurous as evident in the risk-taking activities he’s done, such as bungee jumping, skydiving, parasailing, hiking on spines of mountains, night snorkeling in the Indian Ocean, climbing the Sydney Harbor Bridge, and zip-lining through a Costa Rican cloud forest. However, the most telling of his adventures is defined by his travels. Ken loved to travel with his wife to exotic locations. He visited 6 of the 7 world continents leaving only Antarctica to be conquered. Of course, Antarctica was on his bucket list along with many other points of interest such as Argentina (which was scheduled for November 2019), Eastern Europe, Germany for Oktoberfest, Taj Mahal, hike to the bottom of Grand Canyon and back, a drive from Barcelona to Rome via the Riviera, the Great Wall, Galapagos Island, and Christmas in the Philippines. The list is almost endless. He was not judgmental of different cultures, but rather embraced them. He would immerse himself in the culture by eating and walking where locals did, taking in all the sights and smells with a wondrous expression. He engaged with locals using that beautiful smile of his. He did his best to ensure he experienced all he could about the country. Ken avoided tourist areas, preferring local hangouts because it proved to be more authentic and a better indicator of what the country and its people are really like. He was friendly with the locals, always smiling and ensuring he didn’t do or say anything that was culturally offensive. Of the places he visited, getting a massage (or even multiple on the same day) in Thailand at a very reasonable price was one of his favorites, while eating fresh mango pulled from a tree in the Mekong Delta in Vietnam was his favorite delight because it “melted like butter” with wonderful flavor. He found driving on the right-hand side of the car on the left-hand side of the road in Japan and Australia not only intimidating, but also exhilarating and rewarding. When asked what is his favorite country, his reply would be “All of them because each one offered something different.” This response demonstrated that he found appreciation in all countries he visited. He saw each adventure as an experience that enriched his life. Travel was an activity where Ken never lost his patience nor got upset. It was a pastime where he could truly relax and let himself go; to let himself just be. Ken was not only an international traveler, but also took pleasure in weekend getaways: Disneyland, a Halloween weekend at Universal Studios, a Nevada Wolf Pack basketball game at Staples Center in Los Angeles, lounging by the pool in Palm Springs, camping in Idyllwild, hiking in Borrego Springs. He spent a week hiking and relaxing in places like Sedona, Yosemite National Park, Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, and Grand Canyon. He would even sometimes join his wife on the tail-end of her business trips in cities such as Atlanta, Dallas, and Chicago. His latest trip was a first-time visit to Mexico City. It was a birthday gift to Di – somewhere far enough, but not too far so as to make the most of their time. He made mental note of the places he visited for potential retirement locations. Mexico City was one of them, as was Costa Rica and Spain. Ken’s objective in all his travels and getaways was to “experience all you can while you can.” He was fortunate to have had the capacity and opportunity to do this. He accomplished more in his life than others aspire to do in a lifetime. On the flipside of travel and adventure, Ken also loved relaxing at home: watching TV, reading a book, having a drink, lounging in the patio, taking a nap. He found these activities just as satisfying. Ken married into a big family. Initially it was overwhelming for him. Having to witness the effort to coordinate time and events was maddening for him. There were so many demands and differences from each family member. He exuded both impatience and awe – awe because it amazed him that the family can get anywhere and can get anything accomplished. He equated it to “herding cats.” As crazy as that was for him, it didn’t take long for him to fall into rhythm with the clan. He developed patience with the ever-changing plans. He learned to laugh rather than fume. He learned to love each family member and their nuances. He took a genuine interest in their lives by sharing and asking probing questions, and as a result, he developed an everlasting bond with each one of them. Ken’s Loves • Mountains especially hiking up them to be rewarded by the beauty above and below, and because he welcomed the challenge to reach the top • Deserts because he found beauty in what others considered desolate • Sweets. Some of his favorites include See’s Candy, Tootsie Rolls, jellybeans, chocolate, apple pie, Junior Mints, Good and Plenty, caramel, ice-cream, taffy, Costco cake, and cereal because it was also fortified, which he considered was a bonus. He endearingly blames his grandmother and mother for his sweet tooth. • Charlie (the family dog), and Charlie reciprocated the love with much licking and lap warming • Construction projects and the architecture: buildings, freeways, streets. He was fascinated by what building was being erected, why, and what it was going to look like. Likewise, for freeways and streets – how long, how wide, and where it would lead. He would drive by these constructions sites to observe progress. This must have appealed to the architect in him. • His wife and love of 26 years. Everyone admired their relationship. Some described them as two peas in a pod. Some described them as though they were honeymooners. • His family. When in Reno, he always ensured he made time for his mom, dad, and sister. He didn’t want to exclude anyone. • Rainier cherries – he couldn’t wait for cherry season • Chicken fried steak • Biscuits and gravy – he always ordered them to compare with others to determine who had the best. Nothing so far resembled his dad’s, which he thought was the best. • Scooby Doo and Bugs Bunny • Music especially played at high volume in his car where he himself upgraded the sound system • Water, swimming, diving into waves • Playing sports: basketball, football, catch with a softball or baseball. He was right-hand dominant, but threw left-handed. He said his left hand was for power and his right hand was for control. • City skylines • Wolves and owls – he sought them out each year on calendars if he couldn’t find a Scooby Doo one • Working in the yard – he found it therapeutic • Castles especially on top of mountains • James Bond movies – all of them! • Bridges especially covered ones • Car and train tunnels • Making sun tea in the summer by placing a jar full of water and tea bags in the backyard Ken’s Pet Peeves • Gravity drivers, peripheral drivers (maintain speed with person next to them), slow drivers in the fast lane, and drivers that can’t maintain a speed • San Diego’s “May Gray” and “June Gloom” • Changing plans last minute • Repeating himself • Inanimate things that didn’t “cooperate” with him, e.g. shop vacs that refused to “follow him” no matter how much he pulled on the hose, shoestrings that somehow “knotted themselves,” a belt that managed to remain stuck on belt loops and wouldn’t come loose Ken’s Phrases • “Putt-putt drivers” for slow drivers • “Take a growler” • “Goofy” or “goofball” • “Fancy Toes” to describe Charlie (the family dog) when he doesn’t want to walk in the rain or on wet grass • “Buenos tacos” when answering the phone • “6 in one, half a dozen in the other” to mean it’s the same either way • “Fart and Smile” instead of the real store name “Smart and Final” Ken’s Nicknames • Goaky – nickname for his sister Becky, from childhood • Reggie – family Cocker Spaniel, Murphy • Beaker – Becky and Bob’s Dachshund, Bosco (Beaker from The Muppets) Ken’s Food Aversions • Definitely no seafood! Folks he worked with would jokingly tell him, “We’re going out for sushi tonight as part of team building.” Or family would say “Ken, there’s lots of fish here for you.” And his reply would be, “Thanks, but I’m full right now. Someone can have my share.” • Limited vegetable preferences • No onions unless they were cooked in stew. He would otherwise spend several minutes picking these out of his food before taking the first bite. • Walnuts were too bitter even in chocolate chips cookies and brownies All of that aside, I am at a loss for words to best describe Ken. I have memories and I know what I’m going to miss. I looked at so many pictures early on to find the perfect 250 that best portrayed Ken’s life to be played on the TVs at Glen Abbey. I did my best to be mechanical in the process and to keep my emotions at bay, but I had to stop at some. In those few I looked at, I traced Ken’s fingers, his arms, his ears, his mouth. And I smiled at the memory of him – I knew every part of him, every shape, every touch. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. There is so much of Ken I will miss: • His hugs. I always felt loved, safe, and warm in his arms. He had the broadest shoulders and lanky arms which meant more of him to envelope me. They went around me so well that each hand was able to tap the side of my opposite boob. 😊 • Our nicknames for each other • His daily text messages that said "Good morning Beautiful" • His phone messages that start off with "Hi Gorgeous" • He always took care of me. I’m not sure he realized how safe he made me feel and how loved he made me feel. • His twisted sense of humor which others who didn’t know him would find offensive. • Our weekend breakfasts out • Our spontaneous “Let’s go out to eat” when we both knew we should eat at home to be healthy and to save money • His restlessness and hyperness. He couldn’t keep still, even while sleeping. • The way he would jump up and down with his arms up and wide and a big grin on his face, which meant “Hug me!” • How he made me walk on the inside of sidewalks away from the street while he walked on the outside to keep me safe • Experimenting with cocktails – we have the fullest and most varied bar of anyone I know, yet we hardly drank much at home. Our preference was to eat and drink out. • The way he purposely pestered me by poking, jabbing, tickling me. When he succeeded at getting my attention, he smiled, hugged me, and walked away. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t do that. I knew something was wrong if he didn’t. It was his way of getting my attention and to let me know he was thinking of me. • The simple, yet endearing gesture of meeting me in the garage with a huge grin on his face as I pulled in from work. He’d help me unload all my bags – gym bag, computer bag, lunch bag – and my “barrel of water” as he would call it (it was only a 1-liter bottle). He was always so helpful. • While I changed out of my work clothes and into my house clothes, he’d wash my lunch dishes, pack my breakfast, and refill my “barrel of water.” By the time I came back out, it was all done and we could focus on dinner and our time together. • Discussing our next travel destination or things to put on our bucket list • Every night we would hug each other, kiss each other, and say “I love you.” We would do this even if we were mad at each other or even if one of us was going up the street to the grocery store. • They way we’d reminisce experiences we shared, such as travel, food, happy hour last week • Make fun of my nose and say “That’s not a nose. This [pointing to his nose] is a nose!” • Always asked if I wanted company or if I wanted him to go with me even if I was just driving down the street to get gas • His goofiness; his playfulness • His overall presence • His touch • Growing old and gray together • The anchor, security, and comfort he provided me. He was my rock. He was there for me through good and bad. • Most of all, I will miss him and his love There is so much of Ken I am thankful for. To name a few: • For the wonderful memories and experiences – international travel, weekend getaways, walks with Charlie (the family dog), walking at the outlet mall as something to do with little intention of buying anything yet still coming home with bags and bags of stuff we didn’t need, but had no regrets on buying. • For simply enjoying each other – lounging in the backyard or courtyard with a book and drinks, weekend breakfasts which seemed to have evolved into a tradition in lieu of working out (“what fun is that anyway” we’d say), snuggling, cuddling while watching TV shows we’ve recorded to only have the series cancelled after a year (we sure didn’t know how to pick lasting shows). • For Happy Hours when he’d jokingly say because he’s bigger than me, the alcohol doesn’t affect him as much so it’s OK for him to drive. But clearly he’s had a bit more than me and I’d have to wrestle the car keys from him. • For getting me hooked on sweets. I crave dessert after every meal now. My waistline thanks him, too. • For his thoughtfulness. Example: having an awesome sound system installed in my car to make my commute that much more bearable. • For never failing to make me smile or laugh especially when I’m having a bad day. • Thankful most of all for Ken’s love and for giving me the opportunity to be a part of his life. I’m grateful he shared his life with me and I’m grateful for the time we had together. I will conclude my memoirs of Ken with a story that describes his selflessness. Ken and I played co-ed softball with others from my company at Pfizer. The opposing team was at-bat and there was a runner on 2nd base. The person at-bat hit a line drive to left field. The outfielder was an ex-college baseball player and threw the ball hard and fast to the 2nd baseperson, Isabel. The ball took a wicked bounce. It hit her in the eye and started to bleed. Ken, who was in the dugout and without thinking, ran to her while taking off his shirt to cover her eye to control the bleeding. He was shirtless at that point, but he didn’t care. All he was concerned about was Isabel. Her injury resulted in an orbital fracture and stitches. I gave my shirt to Ken (I had another on underneath). It was 3 times too small for him, but he wore it anyway. He laughed at himself and we all laughed with him. We love you, Ken. You will never be forgotten and will always be in our hearts.