Neil Palmer Kittlesen

Neil's Life Story

(Submitted by Neil in 2004 to his college classmates at their 50th reunion)

I was born in Minneapolis, grew up in Frost, Minnesota and graduated in a class of 11 in 1950. In September, over one third of that high school class moved from Frost to a room in Ytterboe Hall; Ken and Kerm Northwick, Sherwood Brekke and I.

My four years at St Olaf changed and shaped the rest of my life in more ways than I can express here. I met Phyllis Olson ’55 and we were married in Orleans, France that summer. We traveled through Europe and Scandinavia and lived a very full lifetime before she died in a car accident the next year.

My St Olaf friendship with Rube and Dee Jessop led to my meeting, wooing and marrying Dee’s sister, Greta Anderson. We were blessed with four beautiful children; Gregg, Kristin, Amy and David. We had a wonderful life with the kinds of rewards and challenges many have before Greta died at age 48, also much too young.

To have one happy marriage is a great blessing, to have two happy marriages must be a miracle and to have three proves how amazing grace really is. Again, because of another St Olaf-formed friendship, I met and married Barbara “Bobbie” Spradley. Dale and Ruth Warland were long-time friends of Bobbie and her first husband, Jim. With a widow and widower on their hands, what else could they do but arrange an introduction and first date for us. Bobbie and I were married on Veterans Day 1988 in Dale and Ruth’s living room with our seven children (my four and Bobbie’s three; Sheryl, Debbie and Laura), four sons in law and three grandchildren there to wish us well.

Last year, our beautiful daughter Kris died at age 42 after a courageous 6 1/2 year fight with brain tumors. Her cheerful acceptance of all her challenges, her faith that she was moving to complete healing in heaven and our faith that we will join her there have helped ease our sorrow.

Bobbie retired from teaching at the University of Minnesota, I retired from agency work with Lutheran Brotherhood, we now have 16 grandchildren, we travel regularly and I am way past “about 250 words.” I look forward to sharing more with you at our Golden Reunion!

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Diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2011, Neil and Bobbie continued faithful service in their church community as well as travel and cherished time with family (by then 17 grandchildren). Additional resources that supported and enriched Neil's evolving Alzheimer’s journey included adult day activity centers (Lyngblomsten and Minneapolis Veterans Home) and the Alzheimer's "Giving Voice Chorus." Neil moved to the Minneapolis Veterans Home in May of 2017. Supported by Bobbie and the comprehensive range of services provided by experienced and dedicated professionals, Neil adapted to his new surroundings. Neil's final lap in this life was quick and peaceful, surrounded by family and compassionately cared for by professionals. A biographical sketch of Neil's life highlighting his unique gifts of service follows.

Neil was born to Nellie and Clifford Kittlesen on November 25, 1932, and raised in Frost, Minnesota (south of Mankato near the Iowa border) with older siblings Dorothy, Clifford, John, James, and younger sisters Naomi and Helen. He was the first member of his family to attend college. His four years at St. Olaf in Northfield, MN directly affected every following year of his long life.

In his youth, Neil was known as a talker. Reflecting on his mom’s wisdom, Neil wrote: “I remember especially sitting near her in the kitchen and knowing that I could always talk to her about anything. She would always listen and give helpful advice without being critical or judgmental.” Young Neil was also known as a salesman. He sold magazine subscriptions, newspaper delivery, mail-order seat covers for old cars, stamp collections, pots and pans. Neil’s mother told one salesman who came to their door she wasn’t interested and even if she were, she would buy it from her son. “If he isn’t selling it now, he will be soon.”

Neil attended the “new” Frost school grades 1-12. Reflecting on his school experience, he wrote: “One of the disadvantages of a small school is the opportunity to do things you have little or no talent for. It does provide good lessons in humility though and it was fun to be part of a winning team.” His senior year, Neil was a substitute player on the undefeated (regular season) 1949-1950 Frost basketball team which won the Border League Championship and the Sub District Tournament. He also wrote about specific teachers who inspired him to learn about literature, business and to prepare for college.

Neil entered St. Olaf with three of his 10 high school classmates. In 1951, Neil was assigned to trace his family for a Norwegian History course. After gathering information for a couple of generations through his father’s Norwegian ancestry, he wrote to his maternal grandmother for information on that side of the family. She suggested Neil contact one of her husband’s relatives, who subsequently referred Neil to the former wife of another relative. This individual, Geraldine Hurd, and her mother (a nationally recognized genealogist) had traced the Palmer line back to 582 AD. Neil’s paper led to a life long interest in family history. Neil and his sister, Naomi Van Domelen, published family history editions in 1954, 1970, and 1987.

Viking yearbooks (St. Olaf) 1951-1954 display images of Neil with the Republican Club, Student Government, Viking Chorus, and other groups. He majored in Economics. Neil and Phyllis Olson (St. Olaf class of ’55) began dating and were engaged before he graduated in 1954.

Following college graduation, Neil worked various temporary sales jobs as he sought permanent employment. The common phrase in each company’s reply letter was: “we are very interested in your future prospects with our company and encourage you to apply again after you have completed your national service obligation.” Neil enlisted in the United States Army on September 21,1954. During basic training, the percentage of recruits ordered to Korea dropped weekly. He received orders to Europe. Possibly based on a record of (high school and) college language classes in French, he was assigned to Orleans in France. Neil and Phyllis began planning their marriage to take place in Orleans following Phyllis’ graduation and European tour with the St. Olaf choir.

Neil and Phyllis Mary Olson were married in Orleans, France on August 17, 1955. Phyllis’ father, J.O.Olson, officiated the ceremony, joined by his wife, Neil’s parents, and several friends. Neil and Phyllis traveled during the final year of Neil’s Army service. Tragically, Phyllis was killed in an automobile collision during their return from a trip in Scandinavia. Neil suffered a leg injury and was airlifted back to the U.S,

Following his recovery from the accident, Neil spent time with his father in Frost. Like his father who had remarried after losing his first wife to tuberculosis, Neil became open to the possibility of a second marriage. He secured employment with the Prudential Insurance Company and moved to Minneapolis. While attending the University Lutheran Church in Minneapolis, he met Greta Anderson, sister of Delores (Anderson) Jessop (St. Olaf class of ’55).

Neil and Greta Jean Anderson were married in Clear Lake, Iowa on September 6, 1958. Children soon followed, Gregg in 1959, Kristin in 1960, Amy in 1964, and David in 1965. Neil chose to pursue sales and management with Prudential, resulting in a series of family moves to Wauwatosa, WI in 1966, Edina, MN in 1972, and Farmington Hills, MI in 1974. Although Neil achieved success in his chosen profession, he and Greta chose to seek a different opportunity that would bring them back to the Minnesota/Iowa/Wisconsin area to be closer to relatives and in a more familiar environment. Neil was chosen to lead an insurance agency in Mankato, MN with Lutheran Brotherhood and the family moved to North Mankato, MN in 1977. He was a member and leader in multiple community organizations including Indian Guides, Cub Scouts, sports teams and Kiwanis. Neil and Greta were active members and leaders in Lutheran churches wherever they lived. Tragically, Greta died suddenly in 1986 due to an unknown safety issue with a heart medication.

A few years later, Neil’s good friends of many years Dale (St. Olaf class of ’54) and Ruth Warland introduced Neil to Bobbie (Barbara) Spradley, whom they also were good friends with for many years. Neil and Bobbie were married in the Warland’s St. Paul home on November 11, 1988 in the presence of their seven grown children (Sheryl, Deborah, Laura, others listed above), four sons-in-law (Richard, Steven, John, and Todd), and three grandsons (Ryan, Nathan, and Andrew). Neil transferred to St. Paul, and they subsequently moved to Mendota Heights. Additional son/daughters-in-law (John, Christina, and Hannah), and grandchildren (Jacqueline, Dan, Christopher, Justine, Emelie, Kevin, Erica, Seth, Kevin, Matthew, Marcus, Eli, Julian, and Willow) entered their lives. Neil and Barbara became members of Central Lutheran Church in 1990 and served together and separately in multiple roles. Neil’s service included various committees, Congregation Council, and the Central Lutheran Church Foundation. He continued to sell financial products through Lutheran Brotherhood, which subsequently merged with another company and is now known as Thrivent Financial. He also taught financial management courses at Luther Seminary in St. Paul.

Neil retired from Thrivent Financial in 1996. In conjunction with Neil’s work on the family history, he wrote collections of childhood memories. Bobbie, a successful author, encouraged Neil to formulate his memories in book form. Neil published “Growing Up in Frost” in 2000 and presented it at Frost’s Centennial Celebration.