Carol was a devoted wife and loving mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. A longtime La Mesa resident, she died Aug. 11 at age 80. She died peacefully in her sleep after many years battling Parkinson’s disease.
Her life’s journey took her from the shores of lake Michigan to the shores of the Pacific Ocean. She exchanged snowmen and ice skating for palm trees and suntan oil, but she never lost her affection for the Midwest. She retained her Midwestern sensibilities while embracing the culture and opportunities of the Southwest.
She and her husband, William Joseph Dejka, created a home full of love, adventure, curiosity, culture, science, music, dance and, especially, laughter.
She was born in Chicago on March 16, 1938 to Helen Louise (Baker) and Russell John Crossett.
She grew up in Evanston, Ill., oldest of three sisters. The girls benefited greatly from the wit, wisdom and heart of their father. She graduated Evanston Township High School and attended the University of Illinois. Carol met her future husband at a dance at the university Newman Center, the campus club for Catholic students. She converted to Catholicism, and the two were married at St. Stanislaus Bishop and Martyr Church in Chicago in 1958.
His job led them to the Navy town of San Diego, where he worked as an electrical engineer in civil service for the Navy lab in Point Loma. In 1961, they bought a house amid the boulders and avocado groves of Mt. Helix, where they raised a family. She gave birth to three children, Beth, Marian and Joe. She and Bill adopted two boys, Steve and Robert, whose addition to the family blessed and enriched the lives of all. She fueled her children’s passions, drove them to music lessons, dug slivers out of their feet, made them stand in the corner when they were naughty and consoled them when their hearts were broken. No situation was ever too serious that it couldn’t be helped by going out to brunch. She made sure her children were exposed to symphonies, musical theater and art.
She and Bill embraced the Southern California outdoor lifestyle, the beach and Mexican culture of the area, learning to whip up perfect margaritas. Carol loved Mexico and the Mexican people, relishing day trips to Tijuana to shop and dine. She and Bill learned to backpack, taking the family on trips to the Sierras and canyons of Arizona. She always enjoyed walking and watching the birds and wildlife. She accompanied Bill on many trout fishing adventures throughout the western United States, and she tended to him as he fought the prostate cancer that claimed his life in 2003.
Her ethnic heritage was Irish and English, but she eagerly embraced his Polish heritage – he was a full-blooded Pole. She learned to cook Polish treats like pierogi, and celebrated traditions like the exchange of Oplatek on Christmas Eve. She and Bill were deeply involved in Santa Sophia Catholic Church. She taught CCD and helped with numerous parish dances, festivals and events. She and Bill loved dancing, especially the Polka.
Her sons and daughters will remember the little things. When you were sad or anxious, she would grasp your hand, squeeze it tightly and look you in the eye to say: “it’s OK, it will be fine, I love you”. Carol would give meaningful gifts, tokens, that carried some special significance. Some religious. Some just for fun. She had a soft spot for the less fortunate. For several years she worked at Catholic Charities in the Diocese of San Diego. teaching English to refugees and assisting with their integration.
She is survived by sisters Jean Crew (Bill) of Ventura and Linda Kearns (Rick) of Pocatello, Idaho; daughters Beth Smith (Bill Bradley) of El Cajon and Marian Tarantino (Philip) of San Diego; sons Joseph Dejka (Paula) of Papillion, Nebraska, Steve Dejka (Geizi) of Durango, Colo., and Robert Dejka (Annie) of Hoquiam, Wash.; 13 grandchildren; four great-grandchildren.
Memorial Mass will be held Thursday, Sept. 13, at 1 p.m. at Church of the Immaculate Conception, 2540 San Diego Ave., San Diego. Donations in memory of Carol may be sent to: Catholic Charities, https://www.ccdsd.org/donate/ways-to-help-catholic-charities/
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