Susy Flipse was born Thoumi Mathad in Nakhon Phanom, Thailand, and raised in Thakek, Laos. “Thakek” means “Guest Gate” - an appropriate name, as the little kingdom of Laos was open and friendly to all manner of foreign guests. Over the years, certain guests would prove to be less friendly than others, but the Lao people would always retain their deep, welcoming kindness. Even amidst decades of suffering and conflict, from the French colonization, to the Japanese invasion, the American Secret War in Laos and the Vietnam War, the enduring kindness of the Lao people allowed Susy, her sisters, and her aunts to find love across the world; in the Philippines, France, and even the United States.
Susy was the last of the Senchantixay clan (pronounced sen-CHAN-ti-sai). They were known for their gorgeous, strong women who carried guns and joined revolutions. Their children included entrepreneurs, diplomats, and the first ever Lao cosmonaut.
Susy was the youngest of seven children to parents Naikhong Mathad and Phathone Sayasone. Naikhong was not a rich man, but he gained Phathone’s favor with his holdings of farmland, which could grow more than enough fruit, vegetables, and rice to support both a family and their village. Naikhong was also the household cook, an unusual practice in Laos, but Phathone simply wasn’t made to do the hard work of keeping up a home. In fact, according to an old family legend, her surname, “Sayasone,” marked her as a princess, and she was raised to never even have to touch the ground - instead, she would ride on elephants, who would take her wherever she needed to go.
Naikhong was a kind man, a wise healer and a “finder-of-things.” He doted on Thoumi (Susy), and, in a break from tradition, he put little pressure on her to cook or clean. Instead, Naikhong taught her how to use plants as medicine, how to breathe on people to heal them (“powa”), and how to whistle for cool winds when the air became hot and still. He told his children stories of Buddhist priests who could levitate, and he had spells tattooed across his scalp and back that were said to protect him from bullets. Thoumi would often watch her father counsel neighbors who had misplaced some item, only for Naikhong to tap the universe and suddenly rediscover what was lost. He also grew coconuts, papaya, star fruit, and custard apples for his family.
With her sisters and aunties married to foreign husbands, Thoumi would eventually find her own match in an American by the name of Joe Flipse. Actually, it was Joe who would be the one to find Thoumi, and appeal to Naikhong for the chance to marry his baby girl.
After their wedding, Thoumi took the western name “Susy.”
Joe and Susy left Laos in 1970, before it fell to the Communists, and took their young family to settle down in Middle Tennessee, where they were safe from distant gunfire and the chopping of helicopters.
Far from the world of crisis and war in Southeast Asia, Susy guided Joe to cultivate Asian herbs and vegetables for the local community. Susy wasn’t raised to be a farmer or a housewife, but she nonetheless found herself with Joe on a farm that was almost at subsistence level. She set the kids to churning cream and paid them each a quarter for every jar they shook into sweet cream butter. She slaughtered chickens but refused to allow her children to do the same, saving them from the bad karma of taking a life. There was little money to go around, but with eggs, meat, fish from farm ponds, and Asian vegetables, Susy always kept her family well fed.
Visitors to the farm and Asian refugees brought Susy seeds they had smuggled across oceans and continents, which allowed her to grow the familiar foods they craved. One of Joe’s and Susy’s crowning achievements was the cultivation of a delicious, ferociously hot pepper which, even to this day, is famous in the Murfreesboro Lao community.
Susy’s ways were magical to her children. She taught them some of what her father had taught her, like how to whistle for the wind and heal aches and pains with a breath. Her children learned that Tiger Balm is a universal first aid - good for bug bites, headaches, sore muscles, and a restful sleep.
She charmed Joe’s parents with her quiet kindness. Mary Josephine Robertson and Gerard John Flipse, himself a Dutch immigrant, loved Susy deeply for her commitment to her family and to their only son.
Susy became an incredible cook of various Lao dishes, such as “larb” (minced meat salad), “khao poon paa” (fish curry noodles), “phan khao poon” (lettuce wraps), stir fries, and pickled mustard, to name just a handful from her extensive repertoire. Mr. Duke, a sweet neighbor who taught some of the kids to hunt deer, would regularly share his seasonal bag with Susy and she would return to him a sackful of lemongrass-flecked venison jerky that he loved. She fed her children’s friends homemade bread, Southern fried chicken, turnip greens, mashed potatoes and gravy, spaghetti, and scratch made apple pie. In the kitchen, Susy moved efficiently and with a quiet confidence that belied the tremendous effort she put in. No banging pots or clanging knives. No hurry or exasperation. If her children were hungry before the meal was done cooking, she would give them little bites of food to keep them happy. The more family at the table, the happier she was. She liked to say that “few people eating means less fun.”
Susy gently trained her children to respect Lao and Buddhist customs, and, to this day, they will not point with their feet or touch anyone on the head. She counseled peace and kindness between her hot-headed kids, telling them to have “jai yen” (a cool heart) and guiding them towards tolerance with the the adage “boun pai, boun mun” (to each his own karma, so neither covet nor deride another person’s life, fate, or fortune).
She was always kind when turning down food that was unusual to her by saying “My mother didn’t teach me to eat that,” which has made her family chuckle through the years, especially in the last few years when she took a liking to salmon roe sushi with raw quail egg! (We are all pretty certain that her mother didn’t teach her about raw sushi.)
Also, she lightly terrorized her children by telling them that if they ever ate while lying down they would turn into snakes, and that it was a sin if they didn’t eat every grain of rice on their plates.
Ever since, her children have stood while eating every grain of rice on their plates — kidding.
Susy came to love many parts of her American life. She was an avid fan of bull riding, boxing (especially heavy weight and feather weight), and Western cinema (Marshall Dillon, Blue Boy, and Little Joe were favorites). Every Christmas, the whole family would listen to Elvis’s Blue Christmas album, and she would always watch any film featuring Tony Curtis or Steve McQueen.
Since the day she passed away, her loved ones have kept a candle lit beside her picture and given her offerings of her favorite morning coffee and good food. As she finds her way away from us and to the place she needs to be, the candle lights her way and the food keeps her nourished. This daily care has helped us to find work for our newly aimless and awkward hands and through that work of caring for her, we find peace for our aching hearts as she occupies our every thought.
In her last days in the hospital, she dreamt that Joe, who passed in 2016, had joined her in bed and was lying still beside her. She asked him where he had come from, to which he simply replied, “from over there,” and said no more.
In the hour she passed, Susy’s daughter-in-law, Dr. Jennifer Flipse, found that Joe’s framed photo had fallen over on its own, perhaps a sign that Joe was nearby to help Susy along as she left us.
It seems Susy and Joe are back together and ready for their next adventure.
Susy is survived by a passel of people who are trying to learn to live without her.
Children, Grandchildren, Nieces, Nephews, and Special Ones:
Daughter: Diane Flipse of Florida, Diane's daughter Shea Haley, Shea’s children Jaiden Knight and Cameron Haley; Diane’s daughter Susan Panter and her husband Thomas Musco.
Son: Mongkhol Mathad and his wife Mimi Mathad of Tennessee and their children Rebeca, Jessica, and Brandon.
Daughter: Mary Flipse and her husband Todd Dirksen of Tennessee and their children Finley and Attlee.
Son: Dr. Andy Flipse and his wife Dr. Jennifer Flipse of Tennessee and their children Belle Schanie and Cooper Schanie.
Niece: Viviane Reckers and her husband Don Reckers of South Carolina. Viviane’s children Master Sgt Tony Kimmanee and his wife Kanani and their children Gracie and Elie; Chris Senchanthixay and his wife Beth Amrich Senchantixay; Peter Kimmanee and his wife Trudy and their son Max.
Niece: Chantal Kingsada and her husband Latsaway of South Carolina and their children Annie Kingsada Powell and her husband Eric Powell of South Carolina; Lieutenant Colonel Matt Kingsada and his wife Anne and their children Krystiana, Zachary, and Olive Grace.
Nephew: Sodom Phetlasy and his wife Phonesavanh of Vientiane, Laos and their children Halle, Johnny, and Phonevilay.
Sister-in-Law: JoAnn Flipse and her daughters Kathy Malone and Teressa McKeage.
Dear Friends: John D. Blomberg Jr. and Jane Blomberg of Washington State and Khun Pattana of Tennessee.
In lieu of gifts or flowers, the family asks that you donate to the Wat Lao Buddharam in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. That was Susy’s Buddhist temple for over 30 years. You can also make your donation to the temple online at Mary Flipse’s Facebook page.
Wat Lao Buddharam
5214 Old Nashville Highway
Murfreesboro, TN 37219
Tel: 615-890-5570
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