Dear Lisa,

It's been 5 years since the day you walked through the bank doors. I could hear your broken heart through every word you spoke. My heart ached for you and for Alyx as I pulled up her account and looked at the transactions that were occurring. I came home that day and told my family about you and Alyx's story. The following week, you visited me at the bank again and brought me a beautiful pink Calle Lily plant with Alexandra's funeral card. I have since planted that flower in my yard and think of Alyx every time my family and I see it flourish. I still have your note inside her card which I just came across today. My heart still continues to break for you after I read your post from May. I pray the pain has subsided since that day back in 2018 but there is little in this world to subdue to the pain your feeling from losing a child. 
I think of you and your family often and wish I could give you a hug. 
Sincerely
Cassie Mini
cassie.mini@ccfinancial.com 

No new photos of you to post - no new memories with you made. They say “it” gets easier -  I don’t think so 
They say many things. Maybe “they “ don’t know and maybe it is different for every person who loses some one they love - 
I know this - I know that the person who not once - but two times - felt money was more important than a life YOUR LIFE didn’t spend a single day in prison.    They did not care one iota for what they took from your family.     What was stolen from you.   That person is someone that called you dozens of times  after you died and knew they they for a second time with another human life, knew their actions quite literally killed you -     
Life is not ever going to feel ok.    It won’t ever feel right.    I’m sorry we couldn’t save you.   In every sense - not emotionally, not physically.    We were Not able to make you feel loved - safe and valued.    Every single day we are living with the reality of our many failures, the loss of our hopes to give you happiness, good health and life. We own that our failures cost us and your siblings any sense of  the good we dreamed of.   Missing you on the anniversary of  5/5 and every single day of the year between  -   People count things in life,  we count years of life by way of birthdays, we count down to Christmas, vacations or other holidays .    Or we count down to a wedding day, a due date for baby.   No longer can we count down those events for you.   Or often people can 
count steps; count calories- counting days where tears are shed .    We count days since you left. - 1826 days for me as of this post to your “memory”  page …. And “it”- the feelings - still feel as heavy as it did the day we learned you were gone the day we saw the aftermath of your passing - the day I walked in and saw what was left behind of your body.     (See below

I know dad and I try hard to focus on how maybe now you’re free of the pain and how your memories of the time in Romania haunted you.   
We try to focus  on how you’re free of the pressure you put upon yourself in so many ways.      We say to ourselves YOU ARE Free to soar.    And hopefully - praying hard that you are Free to look out for all your siblings who struggle every day here- hoping someway some how someone can Help them find peace they so deserve, In a sea of sorrow that just consumes the heart and soul.    This world needed the smile in the photo above .     Dad and I are Missing “the whole family” as it was - more than any words I could ever write -     love Mom and Dad 

I don’t know if this page is still active or if anyone really looks at this, but I write this as an update for myself.
As my birthday approaches near, I sit and reflect. Reflect on my thoughts, my actions and my past since I last visited this page. 
Growing up, I always had you by my side, in someway or another.  I woke up every day and there you were. We filled our days with each other, and in each other‘s company. Never thinking of the day they would eventually come that you wouldn’t be near.
 Writing you now, seems like I’m walking in a forest with no light in sight, no compass in my hand and very little hope that the stars will guide me in the right direction. But here I write  anyways.
One of the last times I talk to you, you vocalized to me how you felt about yourself, your life, your future. I sat in my car and listen to every word trying to comprehend. Trying not to just tell you to “get over it“ because life is not as complicated as what I thought you were making it. Reality, I could never comprehend what you were going through. That was your journey. I had my blinders on so much that I didn’t want nor could take them off for just 5 minutes, to set myself aside, to see a reality that wasn’t mine but was yours.
I’m sorry.
For as long as I can remember, every year for my birthday when I blew out the candles on my cake, I always wished for, not presents, not candy, not games for myself. But I wished for “health, wealth and most importantly happiness. For Mom, for Dad, and for my siblings.”  Every year I did that, every last one. 
This year is different. This year I enter my 30th year.  I wish to fulfill my year with the healthiest, happiest version of myself. Learning from my past, my present and for filling my 30th with so much gratitude knowing yours was cut short.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss you, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t feel your love near me.
 Love forever, Arri

It never changes - 💔  it’s endless - it’s just really not able to be described -  I never get any answers and I never get past the void . 

 Love always - 
Mom 

To our family, you are always in our thoughts and in our  Hearts ♥️ Alyx will be an asset in heaven I'm sure of that, but at the same time a hole is left here on earth. I pray for the burden and pain to be lifted off of you and to lighten your load. Alyx was a beautiful smart wonderful woman that has left a mark on so many. We love you all. 
And we are here anytime, anyplace you need us,
Love always
Cousin Susan 

What I really would like to say is that What I loved most about having Alyx as a sister is she was also my friend.   A friend that I looked up to and admired in more ways than I can put into words.  A friend that I remember spending most of my days with growing up whether it be picking on each other, playing Dr Mario together, singing songs in the car with or just simply talking with.   I will cherish all the wonderful memories and times that I had with her.    I in my heart know that we will be together again one day and start again where we left off.   Alyx, thank you for being there for me, thank you for teaching me and guiding me, thank you for making me laugh every time you could get the chance, most importantly thank you for loving me for who I am.   Until we meet again I love you with all that I am and please keep showing everyone that beautiful smile of yours. 
Love Forever
 Arri  

OBITUARY

Alyxandra Brianne Cornfield

February 6, 1988 – May 8, 2018

Pixley Funeral Home

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