Love you Mary on your anniversary!!! 
Thinking of you, missing you too. 
Gale, Sam and Michael

And when she did become ill this last time, she told Carl that she had two requests – one, that she not have to back to the hospital, and two, that when the time came, she wanted to die in her own bed “without any tubes”. Over the last 3 or 4 months as she slowly approached death, Carl single handedly cared for Mary – attending to her every need with incredible love and devotion and without any respite – on a 24/7 basis. Rose and I visited Mary and Carl at the apartment prey much every week and we were both incredibly impressed how he took such good care of her. It was truly amazing. As a result, Rose and I – neither of whom could come close to doing for the other what Carl did for Mary, have each started saying to the other that “you’re no Carl”. Mary’s passing leaves a big hole in a lot of our lives. For one, Rose has remarked that with Mary’s passing – she felt like she was losing a mother- as Mary, who was several years older- often filled that rose for Rose as she was growing up. We will all miss Mary very much- with however, the gratitude and good fortune that we were able to enjoy her love and companionship for these many years. Rest in peace Mary, we will always love you. 

Far more important to me was that Mary was a woman of real substance – a Christian in the finest sense of the word who accepted people for who they were regardless of their race or religion or station in life and who did not have a petty or intolerant or prejudiced bone n her body. She was good natured, tolerant, and generous of spirit. In fact, Mary was one of the best natured people I have ever met. No matter the slight or indignity, she just refused to stay angry for more than a few minutes, and she never held a grudge. I truly believe she did not have a mean bone in her body. How can you not love and admire someone like that? Mary loved the many senior clubs that she and Carl were active in, and it seems there was not a single trip or activity offered that they did not participate in. I know many of her fellow club members are here today and have fond memories of the many good times and laughs that they shared with her. Her death came as a relief to her, as she was very sick for the past several months and had elected Hospice care rather than a course of radiation and chemotherapy, whose beneficial effects were not certain. She was a smart, decisive and determined woman who knew her own mind and was not afraid of dying. And unlike many people who put their heads in the sand when having to deal with their inevitable death, Mary faced death head on – even to the point of totally planning the smallest details of this funeral. About 10 years ago, Mary met her beloved Carl at an Italian class they were both taking, and shortly thereafter, they became inseparable. Their love for one another only grew as their relationship continued. Prior to this final illness, Mary’s health had been quite good. In fact, her hospital stay of less than a year ago was the first time she had ever been a patient in a hospital. 

Greetings everyone and thank you for coming to this funeral mass for Mary Murphy. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Josh Koplovitz. I am married to Mary’s sister, Rose and for the past 52 years I had the total pleasure of being Mary’s brother-in-law and I loved her with all my heart. Although the religious emphasis of this mass is on Christian belief in eternal life, I would like to focus on the almost 93 years Mary spent on this earth. Mary was a very special and extraordinary human being. She touched each of the lives of those who are here in many different and meaningful ways. President Abraham Lincoln said that in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count – it’s the life in your years – and this fits Mary to a tee. She truly drank fully from the cup of life. Mary was born in 1925 in Mayera, a small hill town in Calabria to Luigi and Carmela Rittondahl. When she was 4, she came to the United States with her parents and her older brother, Ernie, and they settled within the Italian Community in Tuxedo. A few years later, a sister Rose and a younger brother Anthony were born and the family moved to Suffern, where Mary lived for the rest of her life. I met Mary in 1964 or 65, shortly after I started dating her sister, Rose. Meeting and falling in love with and marrying Rose was the highlight of my life. Meeting Mary was an unexpected added bonus. I knew Mary for over half of her life. During that time we shared a lot of mostly good times and a lot of laughs. She led a colorful and lively existence and has had a number of wonderful relationships – from her husband John Murphy, who was a true Renaissance man and most recently her relationship with her wonderful Carl Schembri – who loved Mary with all of his heart. It is not at all surprising that Mary was so beloved and had so many friends. Yes, she was lots of fun, a great story teller and always the life of the party, but that was just part of it. 

All of my family loves Mary- even my Aunts Ester and Sadye- who never liked anyone. It really says something about her likeableness and my uncle Mike who was a real flirt right into his 90’s, especially liked Mary. My late mother, Sara, also loved Mary and Mary was very kind to my mother, especially in her late years. In fact, we often took Mary and Sara with us on family trips and whenever we did, they were roommates. Fortunately, Sara was a very sound sleeper. And every year for the past 10 or so years, Mary has welcomed Rose and me with open arms at her Florida condo in Delray Beach. If I had to pick out a few qualities that stands out in Mary, is that she is good natured, tolerant, and generous of spirit. More than that, Mary is one of the best natured people I’ve ever met. In fact, she is so good natured and even tempered; it sometimes gets on our nerves. No matter the slight or indignity, she just refuses to stay angry for more than 5 minutes, and she never holds a grudge. She does not have a mean bone in her body. How can you not love and admire someone like that? She is also a natural entertainer and tells a great story. That is obvious in a minute to anyone who has watched her in action at the daily afternoon pool side gathering at her Sabal Pines Condo. And she never met a party she didn’t like. She is definitely not the stay at home type. For the last 40 years we have been with Mary and Mary has been with us side by side in good times and bad; weddings and birthdays, holiday celebrations and funerals and wakes. Rose and I love Mary with all our hearts. We are so happy that she has made it to this milestone and still has her heath, good looks and sense of humor more or less intact. We wish her many more years. Please join me into wishing her chendon. With a bit of luck, many of us will hopefully be able to return in 20 years to celebrate yet another milestone. 

This is a loving tribute to my dear sister-in-law Mary on her eightieth birthday. I remember the day I met Mary as if it were yesterday. Rose and I had been going together for a while and I guess Rose had decided it was time to introduce me to the first of the Rittendales. I guess she decided it was best to ease her new Jewish Boyfriend onto her family member’s one at a time. Rose made reservations at a nice Indian restaurant in Manhattan and Mary took the bus in from Suffern and met us at the restaurant. Rose was already a real NY sophisticate and as we waited for Mary to arrive I wondered what she would be like. When she arrived there was no question they were from the identical gene pool. Despite the difference in years there was no mistaking that they were sisters. I don’t remember too much about the evening – except that I could tell Mary was not one of those fancy Manhattan types, for when the waiter opened the wine bottle and poured me a small amount so I could sample the wine, Mary said to the waiter in a slightly accusatory tone, “Is that all you’re giving him?” that was 40 years ago. It was right about that time that she had started to date the first love of her life, the charming and dashing John F.X. Murphy. He was a true renaissance man, and the two of them cut a dashing figure on the cruise circuit. They had a wonderful relationship. Sadly, he died at much too young an age. I say the first love of her life, because she had found love again in the person of her wonderful special friend Joe Ingenieri. During the next 40 years, Mary was the best sister-in-law anyone could ever have. Mary was part of our extended family. Thanksgiving, Christmas, no holiday or special event was celebrated without her. She was a real fixture and wen everyone else was working out on the dance floor, you could always count on Mary to keep the party going.

Dear Mary,
You have been everything to me, a loving sister, a best friend, a second mother, a loving aunt to my children, who adore you, and a wonderful sister-in-law to Josh. You have been a great influence and rock for me to learn on as I go through my life journey. I have sometimes gotten a little mad at you like the times we were young and I didn’t like the way you were cleaning, so I chased you around the house. However, since you are blessed with an even disposition, you took all the things in your stride. Just know that I love you so much and thank you for all you have been in my life. Here is to many, many more good years. Remember our grandmother in Italy lived to be 105. Love, Rose


Dear Ruby, 
If I had a child, she would have been exactly like you. She would have been as smart, pretty, nice and as pleasant as you are. I love you very much and I will never forget you. Love, Aunt Mary. 


Dear Mary, 
As I search for the correct words to express my feelings, I do know that you have touched my life for the last seven years, with love, joy and kindness that very few people ever experience. You are the heart and soul of my life and I look forward to the journey we still have to travel together. I feel especially lucky to have found someone as wonderful as you, so please stay well because I can’t imagine what life would be like without you in it. All my love and devotion, Carl. 


On this wonderful occasion of your 90th birthday, we all wish you the happiest of birthdays! I will never forget when I was a little girl and we went to your swim club and I hurt my finger. You lovingly took my hands in yours and said “you are so beautiful even through your tears!”. I t was so deeply kind and wonderful and lifted all of my worries away. I have always been amazed at how much fun you have in life. You have a way about you in the world that seems to enjoy life – one that has been filed with friends, happy times and now of course your devoted Carl, whom we all love so much. Now that I am no longer a little girl, but have a little girl of my own, I have been amazed at your generous and kindness towards our dear Ruby. It is especially touching to think that you are almost the same age difference to my mother as Mae is to Ruby. You and my mom have been friends and sisters and always there for one another. I hope and wish the same thing for Ruby – to always have such a wonderful big sister as my mom has in you. You have such a big heart and natural grace and beauty at every age. Happy Birthday Aunt Mary – we love you so much and hope to blow out a candle with you soon in honor of this incredible milestone. Love always, Elysa, John, Ruby and Mae. 


Ten Years ago in this very same restaurant, I got up and gave a speech in honor of my dear sister-in-law, Mary. It is both Mary’s and my good fortune that we are both here 10 years later to celebrate another 10 years of life, love and friendship. Meeting and falling in love with Rose – the love of my life, was the highlight of my life. Meeting Mary was an unexpected added bonus. I have known Mary for over half of her life. During that time we have shared a lot of mostly good times and a lot of laughs. She has led a colorful and lively existence and has had a number of wonderful relationships – from John Murphy to Joe Ingenieri and most recently with her wonderful Carl, who adores Mary with all of his heart and soul, and who we adore as well. Rose and I and Elysa and Jonathan congratulate her on reaching this milestone, still able to enjoy life and to continue to be a funny and stimulating person. We wish her salut – good health- and look forward to sharing the next celebration with her. From Josh

OBITUARY

Mary R. Murphy

September 19, 1925 – July 28, 2018

Wanamaker & Carlough Funeral Home

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