Gretchen G. Gray

September 12, 1931-January 22, 2026

Gretchen lived a long and wonderful life. She had four siblings: David, Buddy, Connie and Midge. She was born in Westerly, Rhode Island and grew up at the beach in neighboring Misquamicut. She was a brilliant and talented person who shined in this world. From 3rd grade through getting her Masters at Stanford, she never got anything but A’s. She loved to swim in the ocean and would do so for hours for relaxation.

She loved theater and film. After Stanford she moved to New York City to pursue Theater. She met her husband Paul T. Gray, Sr. there and they worked together in the field. They did off Broadway, including the first US production of the Fredrico Garcia Lorca play Blood Wedding. Lorca was banned at the time, a hangover from McCarthyism that has been since rescinded.

They did many plays together, including Media, Becketts Happy Days and many more. They won multiple awards, with Paul directing and Gretchen acting-winning multiple best actress awards. They were lifelong members of the Academy and the Screen Actors guild. They switched their focus to independent film after a meeting and a with Igmar Bergman in Sweden, who recommended they do so.

They had a love affair for the ages and were married for 62 years before Paul passed away in 2018. They had four children: Paul (Pauli), Gabriella, Gwendolyn and Glynda (yes, Gretchen named her after the good witch of the north). One grandchild: Dylan, and four great grandchildren,

They took on the challenges of independent art, raising four kids, and academia at SUNY Plattsburgh, UCLA and notably Bennington College. After the stint at Bennington, the whole family moved to Europe to teach at the University of the New World in Switzerland. Gretchen loved her boxer dogs and refused to go unless the dogs went to. So, the whole family, including the dogs, moved to Europe for two years, living in Switzerland, Ios, Greece and Brussles, Belgium-with a stopover in Paris. This was part of a lifelong love of travel and they traveled to all of Europe (including behind the iron curtain in early days), Britain, Scottland and South America. They came back and eventually moved to LA.

After their home was destroyed by the Northridge earthquake in 1994 they moved to Atascadero in the central California coast area, where she stayed until her passing. She loved Vermont and loved the Central Coast area deeply.

She was loved by many and had a truly amazing life. She always had her own classy and unique sense of style. She was amazingly well read and never was without a book in process. She loved the movies for her whole life.

She passed away in the hospital after a stroke. She was an essence of kindness and empathy. Gretchen Gray will be missed by so many, from so many walks of life. We are all grateful to have known her.