Stephen E. Dupuis

THESE WOULD BE THEM

Remember how we used to go to Pinelands every year? We were always in the same cabin. We went banana boating as a family. You would always jump of the diving tower with us, and put water on the slide before we went down. We use to go into Port Carling for ice cream. You always set up our fishing rods, and took the fish off for me when I was too freaked out. You also bought us the BBQ lunches when mom wasn’t around to tell you not too.

Remember when I was a kid, and used to call you Stephen when I got mad at you? My best insults were "Your clothes aren’t pretty!", and "You don’t even work!"

Remember how your favourite t-shirt was your Allman Brothers shirt? The blue tie-dye one, with the giant peach on it.

Remember how I used to get up early with you. Like 5 o’clock early. You would do work while I watched TV.

Remember how I would ride around on my pink tricycle in the basement, before it was finished? I would come visit you while you worked.

Remember how every time we had a puzzle set up; and on the rare occasion you got a piece to fit in, you had to tap it in really hard. Just so we would all hear you, and recognize you got a piece in.

Remember how you always sang current songs that you’d heard on the radio? You thought it was so funny, because Carson and I always got mad at you for singing ‘our music’. The most recent artists you sang at me were Nicki Minaj and Pit-Bull.

Remember how we used to make a water slide on our playground?

Remember how you missed my first dance in Collingwood, because you were getting pizza? You felt really bad about that, and I knew it.

Remember the first time I drove your car? You thought I was going to destroy it. And every time since then, you still freaked about me driving it.

Remember take your grade 9 to work day? You took me to a conference. Then you had a meeting, and I got to hang out at your office with your Starbucks card in hand.

Remember when I worked at Edward Street, and you would come by on Saturday mornings? You were coming from the gym to get a coffee. You always gave that huge smile and wave to try and embarrass me.

Remember how I always laughed at your weird, lame jokes? I always laughed a little at first, and then you laughed even more.

Remember how Carson and I loved when you went grocery shopping, because you always bought ‘good cereal’?

Remember on the cruise, when I ate that insane chocolate cake? I was practically shaking because I was so hyped up on sugar. We went outside the dining room, and while mom was in the bathroom, you grabbed onto the ship model/map. You leaned back and said "Look, I’m driving the boat". You did that weird face, and any other time I would have told you to stop, but I could not stop laughing. We thought it was hilarious.

Remember how we all played golf together on Father’s Day? It would be my turn about 6 times in a row because I couldn’t hit the ball far enough.

Remember how your ‘dives’ into the pool were more like flops? You always used two floaty beds when you would sleep in the sun in the pool.

Remember your blow-up homer chair for the pool? And Carson and I used to try and jump on it without falling in. I always fell in, and you always laughed at me. Then we got a new chair, and Carson tried jumping on it right away. It broke the first time.

Remember how you would push us on our swing set, alternating between us two?

Remember all the forest walks? We would do scavenger hunts as a family. You always put Y-stick on the list of things to find. We would visit ‘the motor’. You and Carson and I always went to feed bread to the ducks, and if there were no ducks, we would quack and you’d give it to us. When we passed by the woodpile, you said it used to be the happy haunted house, and the witch used to live there.

Remember how you took me to the Usher concert? You didn’t like it, because he didn’t have a ‘real band’.

Remember how you never liked my cartilage piercing?

Remember how you would leave the video camera on by accident all the time on home videos? You always turned it sideways, and we had to do the same with our heads when we watched them.

Remember the Algonquin trips? They were so brutal. Carson and I were crying, we thought we would never get to our campsite, and to add humour you complained about your blister.

Remember how you would laugh at me when I stupidly hurt myself?

Remember how you could never stay awake during Harry Potter? The only names you ever knew were Dumbledore and Hagrid.

Remember how you were so anal about your grass? But so was I, when I cut it.

Remember when we made that huge leaf fort when we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house? You had the idea of sticking the toilet paper roll through the wall so we could ‘spy’ on people.

Remember how we loved looking through all your swag stuff?

Remember filling up the recycling bins with snow so we could make forts? Or playing in the circle of snow in the middle of Mahogany?

Remember how you were so predictable, and laughed when we pointed it out?

Remember Disney World? That first night at Magic Kingdom, when it was really late and I was really tired. We were staying for the fireworks. You were giving me some water, but when you squirted it in my mouth, I kind of choked on it, and spat it back out all over Carson’s shoes.

Remember how we went out for dinner when mom and Carson weren’t home?

Remember when we first said ‘sweetage’, and from then on you tried to add ‘-age’ to the end of every word.

Remember how you walked us to Highview on our first days, every year?

Remember how your favourite radio station was Q107.1. You listened to it all the time, especially on Psychedelic Sundays. I always turned your music down.

Remember how I always wrapped the CD’s for your family at Christmas?

Remember how cool you felt when you called yourself a ‘dance dad’, and you would go hang out with the other dance dads.

Remember how you always bought mom pyjamas for every occasion?

Remember how you use to throw us up in the air when we went swimming?

Remember how you used to always sing the Teletubbies and Bananas in Pyjama’s theme songs? You always laughed when I quoted B1 and B2. And at Pingu.

Remember when you helped me learn to ride my bike that was too big for me?

Remember your laugh? It was so loud, and a little weird. But that’s what made it contagious. Especially at the Dupuis Christmas.

Remember how we made you wear breathe-rights on vacation because you snored so loud?

Remember how you loved The Simpsons? Your favourite episode was the Plow King, which we watched while wrapping presents at Christmas.

Remember how your nose was always sunburnt?

Remember how your blackberry font was massive? And everything you typed had to be huge so you could read it?

Remember how you always did that weird dance when you got excited about something?

Remember how you killed all the moths for mom and I?

Remember how you always bugged me about boys? If you had your way I’d be wearing sweats and turtlenecks every day.

Remember when I was little, and you took me to run errands with you? You told me when to hit the ‘OK’ button at the bank, and then we would go to the convenience store in the same plaza. You would give me a nickel, and I would buy a piece of pink double bubble gum. Then you’d put me on your shoulder, we’d share the piece of gum, and you would read me the comic inside.

Remember how you used to give us ‘tickle kisses’ with your moustache?

Remember how you made us eat salmon almost every Sunday? Even though Carson and I used to complain all the time?

Remember how you always asked us to be your ‘special helpers’?

Remember how you let us get a dog? You always said you hated three things about dogs; dog hair, dog food, and dog poop.

Remember how you always told stories from when you were a kid? They usually started with "we were so poor...". Our favourite story was the one about hot dog day.

Remember how you over exaggerated your injuries to make us laugh?

Remember how you could find a song for everybody, and everything? Everything except for kayaks, that is.

Remember how you never quite knew my dance schedule?

Remember how you worked in the building industry, but mom was still better at home renovations? There was the one time you tried to turn on the pump, and got a bunch of cuts on your hand from hitting the brick wall. Mom then turned it the other way, and had it working in no time. You also had that cut on your head, from when you hit your face on the hammer while taking down the railing. Mom and I laughed at you a lot for that one.

Remember how you cheered really loud at Carson’s hockey games? You always yelled for him to "get in there".

Remember when I had to teach you how to use your iPad?

Remember how every time we made smoothies, or cookies, you would say it was ‘the best ever’, even if it wasn’t?

Remember how you would drum on the wheel of your car? Then you would turn and make that ‘rocking out’ face.

Remember messy paint? I loved that. And when you would lay paper down the hallway, and I would paint my feet and walk down it.

Remember fishy-slaps? You always laughed at me because I got the stupidest smile on my face.

Remember how you used to take us to skating lessons? You always let us pick something from the vending machines after. Then there was the time we went to free skate, and I was showing you how I could make snow on the ice. I proceeded to fall on my face, and get a fat lip. You ran me to the bathroom to clean me up.

Remember how you always pointed out hawks when we were driving? You were always so fascinated by them, even though we weren’t.

Remember our family vacation to Mexico? You would take me in the ocean and hold me up, while I would bite your shoulder so I wouldn’t get salt water in my mouth.

Remember how you played your records in the basement so loud, that I would stand in the kitchen and feel the floors shake?

Remember how whenever I bought a bathing suit or shorts, you would ask where the rest of it was?

Remember how you always mixed up my clothes with Mom’s when you did laundry?

Remember how you always called your sandals your ‘flippy-floppies’?

I’ll always love you dad, remember that.

Love Kendall

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789(3) Wisdom 4:7-15

A reading from the book of Wisdom.

But the righteous, though they die early, will be at rest.

For old age is not honored for length of time,

Or measured by number of years;

But understanding is gray hair for anyone,

And a blameless life is ripe old age.

There were some who pleased God and were loved by him.

Being perfected in a short time, they fulfilled long years;

For their souls were pleasing to the Lord,

Therefore he took them quickly from our midst.

Yet the peoples saw and did not understand,

Or take such a thing to heart,

That God’s grace and mercy are with his elect,

And that he watches over his people.

The word of the Lord.

Reading chosen and read by, Kelly Shields

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A TRIBUTE TO MY BROTHER

Bet you like my Hair!

First, I would like to thank Father Joe, Linda and her family, my family and everyone here today for the privilege and opportunity to speak on behalf of my brother Stephen.

Albert Einstein once said (and as you know he was a pretty smart man) “Only a life lived for others, is a life worthwhile”. That was Stephen Dupuis. The church is full to the brim and I have never seen visitations at a funeral home packed with so many loving people. Stephen you lived a life that was worthwhile.

However, today I am going to tell you about one of Stephen’s greatest gifts. This gift he shared with everyone he encountered in his life and that gift was:

HE MADE US LAUGH AND HE MADE US SMILE ----And he shared it with you!!!!!

With this gift, Stephen also had this uncanny ability, whatever the situation, to spin an unfortunate event, an awkward moment, an error in judgement, into something positive and find humour in that situation. I believe it will be those memories: That made us laugh and made us smile that will carry us through this most difficult time.

To assist you with the grieving process, I am going to relive some of the humorous moments in Stephen’s life that made me laugh and made me smile.

Under the Fishing Category:

Stephen loved to go fishing with his family and friends. Every year for as long as I could remember we fished the Little Lake Bass Derby. Apparently it was the longest running bass derby in Ontario at one time. John Powers was a former sports writer for the Toronto Star and he used to fish right alongside of us and if you happened to bag the biggest bass on derby day your name usually showed up in the Toronto Star the next day. This was “big doings” for Midland kids. Let me describe Stephen on Derby Day at 5:30 in the morning.

It’s probably not hard for you to imagine but Stephen was by far the best dressed man at the boat launch at 5:30am. Most of us wore gray track pants but Stephen wore high end pants with zippers called K-ways which were by all accounts, fashion statements in the seventies. Despite his sophistication he did humble us by wearing one of his favourite ball caps that said Moldex, born in Barrie Ontario raised everywhere. Moldex made toilet seats.

He was also noticeably eloquent with his speech as my brother Bernard launched the boat through mud and leeches. Stephen didn’t like to get his feet wet.

On the lake Stephen was like most anglers. He always had a hand on the trigger but when things were slow he took more of a relaxed approach to the contest and it looked like this. He was either laughing or singing, his legs were crossed without a worry in the world as his fishing rod rested peacefully on the gunnels of the boat as he made a drink. His drink of choice regardless of the weather was a Manhattan. If he put ice in the drink he would always say “It’s the clink that makes the drink” with that big grin.

Stephen also thought he would revise the traditional hook setting on a frog. He thought it was a little more humane for the frog and would increase his catch. He was very proud of his theory that more bass could be caught using a frog if you hooked it by the toe.

Stephen won the Little Lake Bass Derby and I believe he placed a few times. John Powers was no longer writing for the Toronto Star but it didn’t matter. Stephen’s story was branded in his mind and he branded it with anyone that would listen or anyone that didn’t want to listen.

He made us laugh and he made us smile.

The Little Lake Bass Derby Anchor story:

The night before any bass derby there was always a mad scramble to get everything in order since all of us had to get up around 4:30am to be on the lake for 6. On one of those evenings Stephen realized that he doesn’t have an anchor for his boat and so he improvises. Into the garage he goes and he finds a huge chunk of steel that looks like a catch basin in a new subdivision and just as heavy. He puts a rope on it drops it into the boat. Now imagine this, the derby is on. 5 or 6 - 12 foot aluminum boats are converging on the rock pile. Chances are the biggest fish of the day is going to be caught in this location. Some boats have cut their motors some are rowing closer to the pile. There isn’t a ripple on the water, the water is like glass and it is peaceful. We are full of anticipation. Now I have to ask you this question. Would anyone bring a vuvuzela to an opera? Would anyone here at a high end dinner party do a cannon ball in the pool? I look through the corner of my eye and our friend Stephen is about to do the caber toss of the catch basin. One Two Three through the air it goes. KA-BOOM! Realizing his blunder Stephen quickly spun it. Woke the fish up didn’t I!

He made us laugh and made us smile.

Under the Golfing Category:

As everyone knows my brother Stephen was a pretty good golfer and was certainly a lot better than I was. But in the earlier stages of his golfing career he was quite a duffer. I can remember a time when we were golfing at Balm Beach Way Golf Course. Stephen called it the course “For Champions”. We were at the first tee box and Stephen stung the ball but the ball nailed this huge black locust tree. The ball rattled through the tree for about 10 seconds and then landed 30 yards from the tee box in the middle of the fairway. Usually in situations like this there are grounds for a legitimate club toss up the fairway. Not Stephen. With his grin and the ability to spin he said “ Played it! ..... Perfectly”

He made us laugh and made us smile.

Under the Music Category:

Stephen loved his music---Everyone I am sure has a memory of Stephen either tapping his feet, snapping his fingers or slapping his knee with that trade mark grin of contentment. For those that had the privilege to see Stephen play an air guitar you were very fortunate. I am sure the legendary Dicky Betts would have paid money to watch Stephen make that imaginary guitar hum.

Stephen also had the courage to sing every song he knew to anyone that was in his company. He loved it.

He made us laugh and he made us smile.

Under the "We Made Him Laugh" Category:

Since Stephen had always made us laugh the Dupuis family had made a decision that we would make him laugh and at same time remind him of his roots. It was Stephen and Linda’s turn to host the Dupuis Family Christmas so we decided to show up in style. The first thing we did was rent a blue bird school bus (without a washroom because it was cheaper). Big Mistake

We agreed on a dress code that was a cross between huckleberry, hillbilly or the gear worn by Doug and Bob Mackenzie. When we arrived at Stephen’s in Aurora in somewhat of a cheery mood, the outfits consisted of plaid jackets or woolly vests, suspenders and coveralls, bright orange Elmer Fud hats, and bomber hats with fake rabbit fur. My mom’s hat had antlers and someone had a duck call.

And then the Dupuis family, as it exited the bus, sang at the top of their lungs the first chorus from the song “Magic Bus” by the Who. As you can imagine all this commotion brought Stephen and his family outside and it also brought out all his neighbours. Stephen was consumed with laughter – looked at his neighbours and with a trade mark grin said “This is my Family”.

We had a fantastic day! So did the lady bus driver who came in for dinner, helped with the dishes and received a care package for the ride home.

In closing, if you have been on this earth and you have accomplished as much as Stephen has and you made people laugh and you made them smile perhaps you have done it all.

I am sure all of us are looking at Stephen’s seemingly short time on this earth as somewhat unjustified, perhaps far too short but he did share his greatest gift with us. Perhaps his role or purpose in this life was already complete despite how unfair it may seem to us at this time.

My advice to everyone is this. When you start to feel that twinge of pain from your loss, and the sadness starts to creep in, please try to remember that those feelings were left for you by a very profound man who made you laugh and made you smile. Those feelings come from a wonderful place! This place is called love. And for that gift we should be eternally grateful.

Peter

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OUR FRIEND, LEADER AND TEACHER

I am proud to be Stephen Dupuis’ friend and while this will be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do – standing here before you to revive a few happy memories of Stephen but….. I am honored to have this challenge as I know he would do the same if it were me.

He would have told me afterwards, “you know Gordie, it was freakin hard but I had to do it so I just got up there and made it happen”

So I am going to do my best to do the same and “put my game face on and get ‘er done” as my friend would say.

Firstly, I am blown away by the overwhelming support that people have demonstrated in the past few days. Linda and the family really appreciate the outpouring you have shown and it has made this very unfortunate situation somewhat bearable. It’s also a clear testament to Stephen and how he touched so many people in his personal and professional lives. If success is measured in how many good friends you have then Stephen is clearly one of the most successful persons that I know. He touched so many of us with his warm and infectious laugh and sense of caring.

In preparing this speech, I wanted to come up with an appropriate title so given Stephen’s love for music I thought I would look up some of his favourite artists and see if there was a song title that might sum up the situation we have here. The ones that I found (and these are real songs that he listened to) are as follows:

Trouble No More by The Allman Brothers

See You Later I’m Gone by Marshall Tucker Band

Disappearin baby Blues by The Powder Blues Band

Into the Mystic by Van Morrison

Won’t be Back by Robbie Robertson and perhaps my favorite of the bunch

Bad Timing by Blue Rodeo

While any of these would have been appropriate, I decided to go back to the one that Paula Tenuta coined on the BILD web site entitled Our Leader, Our Teacher and Our Friend. It fits so well as did the many other items she included in the short article. So with your permission Paula, I am going to blatantly steal your title but insist on a minor change which is to reverse the order to Our Friend, Our Teacher and Our Leader because above all, Stephen was a friend and when you finished an encounter with him you really believed that he cared about you and was really interested in what you had to say.

He was also a Teacher in that he taught by example and openly shared his thinking and advice in a balanced way. And yes he was a leader in that he was proactive and had an uncanny ability to get to the issues, stay focused and find a way to lead people to the common ground.

I am very lucky that I got the opportunity to spend time with Stephen recently. Although he and I have known each other for 32 years, it was great that I had the chance to see him several times over the past couple of months and share time with him, laugh a little and also cycle with him while he was preparing for the Ride for Humanity that he helped organize this past week-end. I take great comfort in that and also some of the recent thoughts and feelings he shared with me.

A few you out there also reached out to Stephen recently after many years – he told me about it and you should know that he was touched by that and so happy to hear from some old friends.

What do I remember about Stephen?

Thirty two years offers a ton of memories of Stephen as a student, a son, a brother, a father, uncle, friend and a confident. Probably the only setting I did not see Stephen was as a business man but I have no doubt that he excelled there as well just as he did in all other aspects of his life.

Its hard to condense all of my memories into a few words. Never the less, here are the words that I came up with – just a list of descriptors but ones that I am sure will resonate with many people here today:

Fun Loving

Comfortable, Warm and Relaxed

Wicked Smile

Sparkling Eyes

Infectious Laugh

Listener

Genuinely Interested

Committed and Supportive

Family

Passionate About Life

Humble and Selfless

Sharp humour

Story Teller

and ……………..

Accidental Mishaps – I can’t tell you how many times Stephen has fell out of a boat, canoe or sailboat or fallen off my dock.

It reminds me of a recent situation where Stephen and I were riding on a Seadoo in the open waters of Georgian Bay when we decided to stop and switch places so he could drive. During the careful switch operation, Stephen managed to fall off of the Seadoo and almost lose his sunglasses. He then literally jumped out of the water and into the driver’s seat and looked at me and said…….Linda doesn't need to know about this. So Linda, we both know that you were his adult supervisor and while he did not like the razzing, he very much appreciated the fact that you were looking out for him and in many cases protecting him from himself.

Last on the personal memories was Stephens love of music – something we both shared. While we had very different music tastes I like to believe that I put a little alternative rock in him and he put a little bit of country in me.

He is also one of the few people left on planet Earth that has more than 50 vinyl records left in their collection. Over this past week-end I was interested to see what was sitting on his turntable and beside the record stand. You may be interested to know that I found the following records:

Joe Jackson Jumpin Jive

Trust by Elvis Costello

Elton John – The Complete Picture

The Supremes

Neil Diamond Gold

Boston 1976

Doobie Brothers living on the Fault Line

Little River Band Diamantia

Hearts Dreamboat Annie

The last vinyl on the turn table was none other than Chicago IX Greatest Hits from 1975. I downloaded this album on my ipod and listened to it and I am pretty sure that he was playing song #7 called Make Me Smile or it could have been song #8 called Wishing You Were Here. That is one mystery that I will never solve.

Stephens passing has been difficult on Linda, Kendall and Carson and my heart is with you but you must know how much he loved you guys and his extended family – he was always the happiest when he was with his family whether that be on summer vacations or just hanging around the Dupuis homestead after a fishing derby.

The circumstances that bring us together today are tragic and frankly beyond belief – I keep expecting him to appear here on stage and laugh at me like this is just some set-up – but its not.

Today is not about grieving, it’s about learning something from our Teacher and taking something from him and applying it to our own lives. Its’ what he would want – something positive out of the pain we feel.

So here is my list of learnings that we can take from Stephen and success is that everyone here today take one of these and find a way to apply it to your life and remember him as the one who taught you by example:

1. Stay Humble, keep your feet on the ground and have others value you by what you have accomplished not who you are

2. Approach Life with an Open and Giving Attitude

3. Remember your family and friends and reach out to them to offer support and just connect

4. Listen to people, understand what they are saying and make them feel like they count and find the common ground

5. Don’t take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at yourself

6. Find the Positive in the situation and dwell on the good

Kendall and Carson…………..your Father loved and adored you guys and knew that it would all work out with you guys through the good times and not so good times. No regrets here – he knew that you guys loved him as much as he loved you.

As Albert Einstein wrote ……….

Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.

Remember your Father by the way you live your lives – take the good things he taught you and use it – let it be his legacy and your memory of him. If he was here right now he would likely tell you three things

1. Live life with Passion and enjoy every day by wearing your dad’s smile even for a few minutes

2. Approach life with the glass half full and find the positives – even in tough times

3. Set your goals high, anything is possible, work hard and good things will come from it

Stephen would smile if he were with us today. He would have some funny story to tell us to make us feel comfortable and we would forget our sadness for a moment.

I will miss you my friend but I am grateful for 32 great years. You will always live in my heart – in all of our hearts – Friend, Teacher and Leader.

Gord Shields

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GOOD AFTERNOON - TO EVERYONE - MY NAME IS BOB FINNIGAN….

TODAY IS CERTAINLY SOMETHING THAT A WEEK AGO I WOULD HAVE SAID WAS NOT POSSIBLE - AND YET HERE WE ARE ..... IT'S JUST SO HARD TO BELIEVE - AND SHOWS US ALL HOW PRECIOUS AND VERY FRAGILE LIFE IS.

JUST LAST THURSDAY MANY OF YOU HERE TODAY, BUT MANY, MANY MORE OF THE PEOPLE IN THE BUILDING INDUSTRY - OVER 500 IN FACT, SAW STEPHEN GET THE 1ST EVER DAVID HORTON MEMORIAL AWARD.

THE AWARD WAS CREATED TO CELEBRATE OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN THE HOME BUILDING ASSOCIATIONS - AT A LOCAL, PROVINCIAL OR NATIONAL LEVEL.

DAVID AND STEPHEN HAD WORKED SIDE BY SIDE, DAVID AT OHBA AND STEPHEN AT BILD FOR OVER 20 YEARS AND THERE WAS A HUGE LEVEL OF MUTUAL RESPECT AND ADMIRATION BETWEEN THE TWO. WITH DAVIDS PASSING JUST 5 MONTHS AGO - STEPHEN BECAME THE ELDER STATESMEN…..

WHEN THE AWARD WAS TABLED AND NOMINATIONS ASKED FOR, THE FIRST AND REALLY ONLY CHOICE FOR THE INAUGURAL AWARD WAS STEPHEN DUPUIS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DISCUSSION NEEDED - HE MET AND EXCEEDED BY FAR - ANY OF THE CRITERIA REQUIRED - CASE CLOSED.

NOW OVER THE YEARS I HAVE SEEN STEPHEN IN MANY A HAPPY MOMENT - BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT AFTER HE HAD BEEN PRESENTED THE AWARD LAST THURSDAY - HE MADE A VERY EMOTIONAL SPEECH – AND - HE HAD ABSOLUTE JOY IN HIS EYES - AND HE TOLD ME AND MANY OTHERS THAT NIGHT THAT WINNING THIS WAS A BIG HIGHLIGHT OF HIS CAREER AND VERY VERY SPECIAL TO HIM BECAUSE OF DAVIDS FRIENDSHIP.

IN RETROSPECT, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT - STEPHEN WAS ABLE TO CELEBRATE A VERY SPECIAL OCCASION THAT NIGHT(HIS LAST) WITH LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE HE KNEW - AND I KNOW FOR ME AND MANY OTHERS - MEMORIES OF THAT FINAL NIGHT WITH HIM WILL BRING A SMILE TO MY FACE FOR YEARS TO COME.

I HAVE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE - I FIRST MET STEPHEN ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO. OVER THE NEXT DECADE I GOT TO KNOW HIM A LITTLE BIT MORE EACH YEAR - BUT FROM THE FIRST TIME I MET HIM I WAS ALWAYS STRUCK BY HIS WARM HELLO, HIS WELCOME HANDSHAKE AND HIS IMPECCABLE ABILITY TO MAKE YOU FEEL AS IF YOU WERE THE NUMBER ONE MEMBER IN HIS ASSOCIATION. VERY HARD TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE 1300 MEMBERS - BUT HE WAS ABLE TO DO IT - NOT JUST WITH ME BUT WITH EVERY MEMBER. TALKING TO A MANY OF YOU OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS - HE LEFT THAT SAME IMPRESSION ON EVERYONE HE TOUCHED- AN EXTREMELY RARE GIFT IN TODAYS FAST PACED WORLD.

ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO I GOT VERY ACTIVE IN THE ASSOCIATION - I JOINED THE BOARD, THEN THE EXECUTIVE, AND THEN BECOME PRESIDENT OF GTHBA IN 2007.

DURING THOSE YEARS I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL AND WORK WITH STEPHEN EXTENSIVELY. WE LITERALLY WENT COAST TO COAST - ST JOHN’S TO VICTORIA AND MANY MANY PLACES IN BETWEEN.

THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH STEPHEN WORK, SEE THE DEDICATION, INTELLIGENCE AND EFFORT HE PUT INTO EVERYTHING HE DID -QUITE HONESTLY AMAZED ME. HE WOULD WORK 18 HOUR DAYS, FOUR AND FIVE IN A ROW AND BY THE TIME THE WEEK ENDED THE ONLY EVIDENCE OF ANY WEARINESS WAS THAT HIS DEEP VOICE WOULD GET EVEN DEEPER. SUNDAY MORNINGS AT 6:45 AM AT A CHBA BOARD MEEETING - WHEN STEPHEN SPOKE - THE ROOM SHOOK WITHOUT A MICROPHONE!- AND EVERYONE LISTENED

AND IN ALL THE YEARS I KNEW HIM - I NEVER HEARD HIM COMPLAIN ONCE ABOUT THE PACE OF THE JOB, ABOUT THE TASK AT HAND – OR REALLY ABOUT ANYTHING.

HE WAS ALSO EXTREMELY PROUD OF HIS STAFF AND SURROUNDED HIMSELF WITH EXCELLENT PEOPLE. PEOPLE THAT WORKED WITH HIM , CERTAINLY NOT FOR HIM. THEY STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE FOR EVERYTHING THAT WAS REQUIRED AND MORE AND CONTINUE TO DO SO - AND - STEPHEN WAS ABLE TO MAKE THEM AS HE DID ALL OF US - BETTER PEOPLE

DURING THOSE TRAVELS AND AT EACH DESTINATION - WE WOULD BE JOINED BY ASSOCIATION MEMBERS FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY AND THE EXECUTIVE OFFICERS AND PRESIDENTS OF EACH LOCAL AND PROVINCE.

IT DIDN'T TAKE ME LONG TO SEE THAT THEY TOO ADMIRED STEPHEN’S PERSONALITY, INTELLECT , WARMTH AND SKILLS AS MUCH AS THE REST OF US. THEY HONORED HIM IN 2007 WITH THE EXECUTIVE OFFICERS “AWARD OF HONOUR FOR LEADERSHIP” – AND HE WAS OVER THE MOON WITH THAT AS WELL.

MANY OF THEM ATTENDED TODAY AND LAST NIGHT I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO REFLECT WITH THEM AT THE HOTEL THEY ARE STAYING AT.

WHENEVER YOU WALKED INTO A ROOM AT ANY FUNCTION OR CONFERENCE, WHATEVER ROOM STEPHEN DECIDED TO BE IN YOU KNEW HE WAS THERE, WHETHER IT WAS THE BARITONE LAUGH THAT RESONATED IN IT OR THE CROWD THAT WAS AROUND HIM.

WITH ALL THAT ATTENTION GIVEN TO HIM – STEPHEN PERFORMED HIS TASKS HUMBLY, AND WOULD ALWAYS MAKE SURE THAT THE PRAISE FOISTED ON HIM WOULD BE SPREAD TO THE TEAM RATHER THAN HIM ALONE.

THERE WAS CERTAINLY NO “I” IN STEPHEN. FROM HIS EARLY YEARS IN PENETANG TO THE STAGE LAST THURSDAY NIGHT, HE WAS ALWAYS JUST STEPHEN.

WITH ALL THE FUNCTIONS AND TRAVEL – STEPHEN NEVER LET HIS FAMILY GET FAR FROM HIS THOUGHTS AND HE WOULD ALWAYS EXCUSE HIMSELF AT SOME POINT IN THE DAY OR EVENING TO TOUCH BASE AT HOME AND MAKE SURE HE HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HIS FAMILY WHENEVER POSSIBLE – NOTHING SPECIFIC BUT JUST A HOWDY, HOW’S IT GOING - JUST REACHING OUT TO SAY “HI” …… SOMETHING I ALWAYS TRULY ADMIRED.

STEPHEN SIMPLY “GOT IT” IN THE LARGEST SENSE OF THE WORD AND HE TRULY APPRECIATED ALL THOSE THAT “GOT IT” TOO.

I TRULY BELIEVE THAT KNOWING HIM MADE US ALL BETTER PEOPLE AND THE EXAMPLES HE SET AT IN ALL AREAS OF HIS LIFE ARE THINGS WE SHOULD ALL ASPIRE TO.

STEPHEN WOULD OFTEN SAY “ IT’S ALL GOOD” AND I THINK THAT APPLIED TO HIM – HE WAS “ ALL GOOD”……

Bob Finnigan

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My name is Linda McMahon, and I am so very, very proud to be Mrs. Stephen Dupuis.

I would like to begin by thanking each one of you for all of your support to our families, and particularly to Kendall, Carson and myself. Your thoughtfulness and extreme generousity have been overwhelming and we sincerely appreciate everything that the BILD family has done for us. This Tribute today has been a beautiful celebration of our beloved husband and dad, and we thank you for all of the hard work that has gone into it. We are also very thankful to the team who conceived and created the Dupuis Education Foundation and to all of the generous donours. It will definitely be put to good use, and it is a great comfort to me in such uncertain circumstances.

*******

I felt it was right for me to speak to you today, but I struggled as to what I would actually say. This is a time when there are no words to describe our shock and sadness. This is a time when I want to tell you so much about what a great man Stephen was. And yet, so much has already been said.

I looked to the hundreds of sympathy cards, letters, online condolences and media publications, and I thought I would begin with a summary of some of the words and thoughts you have provided.

Wonderful, truly special, outstanding

“He was a gem.” ”He was a jewel”.

Motivated, energetic, passion for life, enthusiasm, genuine presence, such vigour, ebullient

“When Stephen talked to you, you felt like you were the only person in the room.”

Humour, optimism, big laugh, always smiling, quirky, razor sharp wit, positive

“Stephen was one of those people you just wanted to be around.”

Humble, good ole boy, “git ‘er done”

Knee-slapping laugh, Heart of Gold, big brother

“Stephen was so proud of his family and his roots”

Kind, friendly, respected, admired, dedicated, warmth

“Stephen had an infectious gift of being able to touch the hearts of so many people.”

Loved a debate, love of words, amazing knowledge of song lyrics

Happy soul, infectious spirit

“He had a spark within him that was truly contagious.”

Caring, sensitive, generous, supportive

“He radiated like warm sunshine upon entering a room.”

Consummate professional, straight-shooter, fearless leader

“He was larger-than-life with that firm handshake, booming voice, and spiky salt & pepper hair”

Leader, mentor, teacher, friend

“It was impossible not to become his friend while you worked with him”

Attentive, helpful, sincere, treated everyone with fairness, connected with everyone

“Stephen had the rare gift of making people feel at ease.”

Class act, gentleman

“He was a leader amongst leaders.”

Loving and Loved

*******

Now, it’s interesting that the one word I used fondly and repeatedly to describe Stephen, as did Kendall and Carson, was not mentioned, and that is PREDICTABLE. To us, Stephen, or dad, was sooooo predictable. Perhaps that is a testament to how close we were as a family, to really know someone that well, but his predictability was also a source of comfort and amusement to us.

Stephen had his predictable sayings, or little life lessons, that we could count on in certain situations or dinnertime conversations. We could even set him up and say his line along with him. Sometimes it was “Kids, that’s a good example of play the ball, don’t let the ball play you.” Or “Don’t let the tail wag the dog.” Or “Attitude is everything. Hundred percent!” Or “Suck it up and reload.”

Or, if during our chatter Stephen suddenly segued into a quiet thought, we knew what was coming. He would suddenly perk back up and declare “You know, there’s a song about everyone and everything.” And he would launch into some song that had lyrics related to whatever obscure thing we had been talking about. Although we all complained about his singing, we in actual fact loved his love of music.

When Stephen would arrive home from another shopping spree at that Italian import secret hideaway place, or a business trip with a few more shirts than he originally packed, he would predictably quote a line from his dad, “Well! No use being poor and looking poor.”

And of course, if you ever asked him how he was, you have probably heard the line “Any better, and I’d cancel my OHIP”, another favourite he picked up from his dad.

Much of what was predictable, depended on the Phase that Stephen was in. I called them Phases so that I could console myself and know that “this too shall pass”. Stephen would latch on to some favourite character or shtick, and let it consume him.

There was the Hans and Frans phase any Saturday Night Live fans will recall.

There was the famous Champ phase; Champ being a gruff-talking punch-drunk boxer on Q107 who would misinterpret a double innuendo. “I says pardon”. Stephen took great pride in his Champ imitations.

There was the Wayne’s World Phase - “Party on Dude”.

Then the Austin Powers Phase. No comment.

And one of the longest running phases,”d’oh!” the Homer Simpson Phase. There were so many Homer Simpson quotes that we could count on, such as “ummmmm, bacon” when we sat down to a Sunday brunch.

Stephen was predictable in behaviours as well as sayings. For example, anytime I came up with the weekend job list and it included a serious home renovation project, like hanging a towel bar, I could always predict that Stephen would suddenly find it necessary to clean something excessively until the weekend was over.

His choice of obsession was seasonal. In the winter, it was all about the driveway. In fact, I remember our neighbour Paul, who happens to be a psychologist, come outside to speak to Stephen in one of his driveway moments. “Ah, excuse me Stephen”, Paul began tentatively, using his clinical voice, “you do know …that you are shovelling asphalt.”

Another of Stephen’s predictable diversion strategies was to use his favourite power tool that he proudly purchased himself not long after we moved onto that famous Mahogany court. It was a leaf blower. He could not seem to understand my annoyance at this extravagance. “Stephen” I pointed out to him, “this is a new house, in a new subdivision, there are no trees.” That didn’t stop him. He used it to blow grass off his driveway, should any have blown on it while he was mowing the lawn.

Don’t get me wrong, Stephen did tackle quite a few home renovation projects with me, although I suspect his motivation was predominantly guilt watching me stubbornly initiate them on my own. Usually, at some point in the project he would say to me, “it’s not easy being married to you, y’know.”

There was a saying that “if a couple can wallpaper together they will stay together”. We went way beyond wallpaper, up to laminate flooring, mitre sawing trim, and then the ultimate: the 3 summer long deck overhaul which included burning out 3 sanders, building 2 sets of stairs, and then constructing 88 feet of aluminum and glass railing, which had come in 37 boxes with some parts as small as tinker toys. Ours was clearly a strong marriage.

So by now you have probably realized that Stephen’s real purpose behind the Renomark program was to convince me to hire a professional. His ultimate goal was to have professional contractors on speed dial who would show even for the smaller renos, like getting a stubborn halogen light bulb out of a potlight.

*****

We heard a lot today about Stephen in his professional life, as a Leader, Teacher, Friend. I would like to speak about Stephen as a loving, proud and devoted dad and as my dear husband and best friend.

We met at our first jobs out of university back in 1983. Right from the start, there was an attraction. I saw Stephen as mature, polite, witty, intelligent and quite the romantic. He saw my bright pink shorts at the baseball tournament.

At that time, Stephen would cash his paycheque, roll it into a ball and stuff it in his pocket, and hope he didn’t run out before the next pay day. He lived with a couple roommates, ate almost all his meals out, and wore 2 pairs of socks everyday to ensure he had “full coverage” from any holes. His favourite expressions were “its water off a duck’s back”, and “beats a slap in the belly with a wet fish”. Like, who says that?! I could see he was the marrying type, but I had my work cut out for me

.

Fast forwarding along, we married 4 years later, honeymooned in Spain and enjoyed living together as double-income-no-kids for 6 years before starting a family. This gave us time to work hard at our careers, enjoy Friday nights together over red wine and pasta, work out or cycle together, and vacation often in simple ways like renting a cottage, or joining one another on a business trip. We were quite content to spend time just with each other, chatting, reading or walking and of course, making one another laugh. We would blast the music when we did chores, dance together in our front hall, and sing to Blue Rodeo. As we evolved in our careers, we evolved together, and I will attribute my success to the confidence that Stephen instilled in me. He was my rock. Supportive, attentive, caring, patient and loving.

Fast forwarding again, as with any young family, life became quite hectic when Kendall and Carson were small. Stephen left me no reason to join in conversation with other women who complained about their husbands. He cooked, cleaned, helped with the laundry and chores, even after I stopped working. He remembered every occasion with a card, a gift, or flowers and for sure a phone call. He saved his hotel chocolates for my pillow when he arrived home from a business trip, and the kids were often surprised with thoughtful and clever gifts, or swag. He loved to watch Kendall dance, and he loved to coach Carson in hockey. He was there every step of the way, sharing equally the joys and burdens of parenthood and making the most of every moment of each day.

We loved being a family together. We enjoyed Friday family movie nights on the couch with popcorn, family car games and Disney sing-a-long tapes, weekend family breakfasts, Sunday family dinner, family walks in the nearby woods, and family tobogganing. We looked forward to our annual family vacation at Pinelands muskoka resort, and camping in Uncle Peter’s tent trailer. We challenged ourselves, admittedly a little irresponsibly and dangerously, on backpacking canoe trips in Algonquin, whereby we would sit around the campfire at night and give each other an award for something they did that day. We extended our love to add Abby, an adorable wheaten terrier to our family, and even though I fed her, walked her and groomed her, Stephen always got the best welcome from her at the front door. We loved our travels to destinations such as Western Canada, California, Mexico, Disney twice because it is so much fun, and cruises. Always on our vacations, our favourite time of day was dinnertime; we would all be together, share our love of fine food, and Stephen always made sure we kept a conversation going about our day, or planning the next one.

And now,..... all too soon, we find ourselves in this phase. An unbelievable, untimely and seemingly unfair phase. Although... our family will never feel complete again, we will take comfort from our memories, and the strength from all your support, and hope with time that we will learn how to carry on new traditions with Stephen forever in our hearts.

As we all struggle with why this had to happen to such a wonderful person who gave so much in his life, let us remember that Stephen would want us to learn and grow from our sadness. Stephen lived a short life, but it was a full life, and he has taught us all very valuable life lessons:

Look for the positive.

Choose a life that makes you happy.

Live each day to the fullest.

Seek joy in helping others.

Love and be loved.

Perhaps this is meant to teach us to live our lives and try to be, a bit more like Stephen. I challenge all of us to try.

Stephen was a happy person, and he used to say “I don’t need much.” What he needed was to be treated with respect and loved, and I hope he realized that he was very much.

To Stephen, my dear husband,

Thank you for our beautiful children and all the wonderful memories

Kendall, Carson and I miss you terribly, and we will love you always

~namaste~

* * * * * * * * * *

It was with such shock and great sadness that we learned of the passing of Stephen Dupuis on September 23rd 2011.

Stephen lived a full life, touched many hearts, and accomplished so much as a professional and a family man, in his short 52 years of life.

Beloved husband of Linda McMahon. Devoted father of Kendall and Carson. Dear son of Marie and the late Leo, and loving brother of Louise, Peter (Sandy), Bernard (Susan Webb), Christine (Gerard Forget), and Anna (David Carter). Lovingly remembered by his in-laws Ray and Marion McMahon, and brother-in-law Gary McMahon, and by his many nieces and nephews, Jared, Mason, Taylor, Peter Jr, Heather, Madeleine, Holly and Melanie. Stephen was so very proud of his roots and all of his family, and spoke of them quite often.

As the proud President and CEO of BILD, Stephen earned respect and admiration for his leadership role in the building industry, and will be missed by the many people he touched, mentored, encouraged and advised.

Visitations were held at the Thompson Funeral Home in Aurora, on Tuesday, September 27, 2011 from 2-4 & 6-8pm and the attendance and flowers were completely overwhelming. Linda and family thank everyone for attending and their patience with the long lines and traffic. It is comforting to share such a great loss with so many others.

The Memorial Mass was held at Our Lady of Grace Church in Aurora, on Wednesday at 11am. It was a perfect send-off for a wonderful person; eulogies by brother Peter Dupuis and friend Gord Shields captured the essence of Stephen, and Father Joe delivered a lovely service.

Many refer to Stephen as a "class act" and the reception hosted at Timberlane Athletic Club was suited to just that. Stephen deserved the absolute best! Reception eulogy by BILD colleague Bob Finnigan spoke of Stephen as a Leader, Teacher, Friend.

The day of Stephen's funeral was a beautiful, sunny and warm day, and concluded early evening with a perfect double rainbow arcing over the Dupuis household. It was Stephen's rainbow, letting us know that he will always be with us.

Our dearest Stephen, thank you for all of the wonderful moments we were able to share with you. May you rest in peace. We will always remember you. We will always love you.