
Looking back on everything I just cannot believe what Nanda is doing to me now that Ray is gone and past. I love you Ray. Please if you can still see me, I want you to know I love you and Nanda as well. I hope that someone in my family will see this and contact me. Someone who still loves me on my fathers side. I regret not being able to see all of you much as a child. And now here I am a mother, just waning to get to know my family. I remember Kandi and a few others, but not so well. I love you all, I miss Ray, is that not enough to prove I want to be a part of MY family? anamarih_hysteria@yahoo.com is my email.

Please if you remember me and want to get in touch with me email me. I want to know the family my mother would not let me know. I am paying for her mistakes and not getting to know or be loved by my fathers family BECAUSE of HER. I just want to get to see my family as I have very little left. :(



Ray was indeed my grandfather, though many people chose to believe he was not. My father included as I am slowly learning. Tammi, I can relate to you in many ways. You say he blocked you out of his life, like father like son. Apparently my father, his son Jessi or "RJ" Keeler is doing the same with me. I did  not know the bad side of Ray however. I loved my grandfather Ray so very much. I miss him and have missed him so much in the past. My memory I will share.

It was my birthday, which one I cannot recall it has been so long. Nanda and Ray came all the way to Oklahoma to spend it with me. I loved and cherished ever second of getting to see them as my mother did not let me see or talk to them often. I had an amazing time sitting and talking and catching up. I wish I coulf have seen him more before he passed away. 





Ray had three children in Texas, two biological children, R.J. and Kandi, and a son, George, whom I understand he raised as if he was George’s biological father. What many people don’t know, or have chosen to block out, is that Ray also had two biological children, Tammi and Willie, from his first marriage. I am Tammi and by my mere existence I am a reminder of a very different side of Ray Keeler.     I learned of my father’s death not by a phone call; but, through an email. I thought saying good bye to him in person was the right thing to do; so, I made the trip to Texas.  During his viewing I sat in my rental car across the street watching people go in and out of the funeral home. I quietly sat there building up the courage to go in. I also wanted to give his other children, and his wife, an opportunity to grieve without feeling uncomfortable that I was there. Without being reminded of another side of Ray Keeler. Although I could not relate to what they were going through, I was very respectful of what they were feeling. With a knot in my stomach, shortly before visitation was to conclude, I entered the funeral home. I sincerely appreciate that from that point forward the family was very nice to me and included me in the events. However, as I watched the memorial take place I was confused. The man they were mourning was not that man I knew. My account of his legacy is very different.     To me, his biological daughter, he was not a great father. Matter-a-fact, he was not a father at all. I was born in 1961. Ray and my mother divorced when I was barely a toddler.  To read … Today you hear and read about how kids are being raised in single parent homes with no father figure. How these children grow up to be single parents themselves because they learn how to be a parent by the way they were raised. Fortunately this was not the case with our family… is one of the greatest insults I will ever encounter in life. I am appalled! I am Ray Keeler’s daughter and I am one of those children George referred to that were raised in a single parent home with no father figure and I am a single parent myself. There can no longer be any denying that I exist! Or that my brother, Ray’s son Willie, exists! By the way, Willie is also a single parent. Ray was our father and he chose not to be a part of our life. He chose not to cheer for us.  My father, Ray Keeler, chose to never attend a single sporting activity of mine or Willie’s; he chose to never send us a birthday card, a Christmas card, a graduation card, a wedding card. He chose not to be there when Willie needed a father figure and when he enlisted in the military. My brother and I are Ray Keeler’s children and by his actions he chose not to care about us.      As I read about the life lesson my father provided to his other children, and the children he coached, I am thoroughly disgusted. If you believe that the life lesson he provided was to get involved with your children so they learn from your example then you are continuing to deny my existence. If the life lesson is to get involved with your children so they learn from your example then my father, Ray Keeler, was a hypocrite. The life lesson I learned from my father is don’t be like me, make each of your children the most important part of your life, and do not turn your back on any of your children or grandchild. Because of Ray I have dedicate my life to breaking the cycle. My children were three and five years old when I became a single parent and for the past 21 years my focus has been to make sure my daughters have a strong relationship with both of their parents.        One cannot imagine how painful it is for me to read the following words; Now that we are parents, every one of his kids are a reflection of our DAD and are raising our children the wonderful way he raised us. That is to be involved in every one of our kids’ daily lives in whatever way we can find.... Ray was my father and he chose not to be a part of my life or his son, Willie’s life. That was the choice he made. There can be no denying that!    In closing, I will share my strongest memory of my father, Ray Keeler. I was a young girl, in my preteen years, when he sent me a telegram because my mom could not afford a telephone. I called him collect. He asked me if I knew the song A Bridge over Troubled Water. He told me to listen to the words of that song. He was going to build that bridge between us. That was the first time I had a conversation with my father and it would be the last time I heard from him in over 30 years. I have copies of letters between my mother and father written shortly after that call. At that time, he once again chose not to build that bridge between us.



As I think back on what legacy my Dad leaves behind, I think it will be that he was a great father that was involved in his children’s lives.  Today you hear and read about how kids are being raised in single parent homes with no father figure.  How these children grow up to be single parents themselves because they learn how to be a parent by the way they were raised.        Fortunately this was not the case with our family.  We had a great set of parents and a DAD that insisted on being a part of his kid’s everyday lives.  Ever since I can remember, our father got us involved in organized sports activities like football, baseball, and basketball.  As youngsters I do not recall our DAD coaching our teams, but that did not mean he did not provide coaching guidance or did not want to be involved.  On many days as soon as we came home from practice, we got to practice again one on one with him.   When it came time for games, we could always count on our Dad being in the stands, cheering us on.  I do not think there was a bigger or better fan than our DAD.  As we grew older our DAD seemed to have more spare time from his daily work schedule.  Instead of our DAD sitting home to relax and enjoy his leisure time, he unselfishly volunteered his spare time to coach our teams in baseball and basketball.  As our coach he pushed us to be better players and our friends/teammates also benefited from our DAD’s knowledge of sports.  We will forever remember those teams that our DAD coached and the advice he provided to just go out and do your best, but more importantly “Have Fun”.  As a coach our DAD taught us to be competitive, be team players, and be humble when you win.  However, looking back now and reflecting on the life of our DAD and our Coach.  He was coaching us not to be good athletes; he was providing us with a life lesson.  What is that lesson?  The lesson is to get involved with your children so they learn from your example.      Now that we are parents, every one of his kids are a reflection of our DAD and are raising our children they wonderful way he raised us.  That is to be involved in every one of our kids daily lives in whatever way we can find.     In closing, I will forever remember one of the last words our Dad said just days before he passed away.  As my sister was telling him good-bye at the Veterans hospital, he strained to open his eyes and tell her, “ I do not want to lose you”.  It was at this point that I realized how much we meant to our DAD and how he longed to continue to be a part of lives to the very end.      SO DAD IF YOU CAN SEE AND HEAR US – KNOW THAT YOU HAVE NOT LOST US, WE WILL FOREVER REMEMBER YOU AND THE LIFE LESSONS YOU TAUGHT US.



We didnt know Ray very long but from the day we met him we felt a special connection  with him. Steve ejoyed the conversation of his past he could have spent the day with him.  Christine with his joking  As for myself his outlook on live his choice of bright colors for his room to make him feel happy.  He will be greatly missed. May God give you the strengh that you need at this time



I have nothing but the fondest memories of Mr. Keeler. Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.



We are so sorry for your loss---Our thoughts and prayers are with you.  Harvey, Holly, and Weatherly



Dearest Nanda and Family,  We enjoyed each and every moment spent either in person or on the phone with Uncle Ray.  His warm and friendly smile that boyish glint in his eye when he tried to get us to commit to a trip to Hippy Hollow.  We are better for having known him.  He brought great joy to our hearts and will miss him. We are proud our children have some of his blood in their veins. God Bless all of you.  John and Susan Jones


OBITUARY

John Ray Keeler

23 May, 1938 – 5 September, 2009

Weed Corley Fish Funeral Homes and Cremation Services

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