Anthony Gonzalez

Anthony Gonzalez was born on September 25, 1956 at French Hospital in Manhattan, New York to Nilsa and Juan Antonio “Tony” Gonzalez. He was a healthy, whopping, nine-pounds-ten-ounce baby. All seemed normal until he became of age to begin walking. It was then that his parents noticed he waddled like a duck when he attempted to walk. They pressed the doctors as to why that was and, after many tests, were told that he had muscular dystrophy – a neurological disease marked by progressive weakening of the muscles.

At the time, the doctors suggested Anthony might be better off institutionalized as there was no cure and his life expectancy would not be very long. This was not acceptable to his parents who brought him back home and began researching other available options. They were determined that their son would live as “normal” a life as possible.

Initially, Anthony was able to walk, albeit with some difficulty. At the age of four, he needed to wear metal braces on his legs in order to stand and also required the assistance of someone holding his hands in order to walk. By the age of five, Anthony proved to be extremely intelligent and desired to attend school just like all other children his age. However, there were no schools in the state of New York that accepted any special needs children. The only option was to have a teacher come to their home once a week. After much research, his parents found a private organization that had just established a kinder through first grade program for handicap students – the first program of its kind. The mothers of these children banded together and petitioned the New York State Board of Education Dept. insisting that such programs be implemented within the public school system as special needs children had the right to an education equal to that of their peers. Eventually, the New York State Educational Department changed their discriminatory policies, therefore Anthony was able to attend a public school closer to his home.

As his condition progressed, Anthony became wheelchair dependent. Luckily by this time, the family was living in Long Island, NY where anew, very innovative K-12th grade school – the Henry Viscardi School – had recently opened serving the needs of students with a variety of severe disabilities. This was one of the first of its kind in the country as it provided a traditional, rigorous, educational setting including support for children who might otherwise need to receive instruction in their home or a hospital. As a result, Anthony thrived and graduated from high school with honors.

When he was two years-old, Nilsa began working for the airlines, thus enabling the family to travel extensively. His travels included visiting Italy where he had a private audience with and blessing by Padre Pio – who has since been canonized in the Catholic church. His many trips also included traveling to Lourdes, France and Fatima, Portugal – both pilgrimage sites.

As the goal was to ensure that Anthony lead a “normal” a life, Anthony also participated in other activities outside of his school and traveling such as fishing, camping, boating, bowling, sledding, wiffle ball, etc. Tony’s passion for fishing became a mainstay in his life. Regular trips were made with big wins going to the person who caught the first, most and biggest fish of all. As necessity is the mother of invention, Tony would create whatever adaptations were necessary to accommodate Anthony’s needs.

Anthony’s sister, Jeanette, was born in 1960. He became her best friend, mentor, protector, and role model in all circumstances. During his time living in New York, Anthony was also blessed by having developed incredibly deep, lifelong friendships that have expanded generationally. There were continual visits to and from Jamaica, West Indies with our aunt, Sonia, and first cousins, Ricky, Daryl and Wayne and later these visits included their children. Our extended cousins from Brooklyn – Neco, Guelita, Manny, Liz, Michael, Hilda, Heriberto, Hilda and Evelyn were also frequent visitors as later their children and grandchildren would become.

Then there was the “adopted family.” Ron DeVos, his buddy from the projects, became a true brother to him and would come out for weekends and extended stays even after Anthony moved to Long Island. There he also became best friends with the neighboring Dall family who, together with their children and grandchildren, still remain part of his extended family to this day. Little by little, the Gonzalez family began to blend and transform itself from a family of four into one much larger, united family.

After graduation from high school, Anthony attended Farmingdale College in NY studying business administration. He actually lived in the dorms and was taken care of by roommates who in turn received a free education for providing him with assistance. While there, he became a fierce activist in the disabled rights movement and appeared in newspapers as well as a TV talk show. His efforts resulted in modifications and adaptations being made on campus to better serve disabled students.

As his Muscular Dystrophy progressed, the winters in NY made it increasingly difficult for Anthony to get out and about, so the family moved to San Diego, CA in 1978. There was a huge send-off as family and friends gathered around his home to say goodbye and wish everyone well. As life was always an adventure, the family, along with cousin Michael, travelled across the country by car sightseeing and visiting friends along the way.

After settling in San Diego, his parents established a business at which he worked alongside them until he was no longer able to do so for health reasons. Never being one to remain idle, Anthony began volunteering at Montgomery H.S. teaching poor readers how to read. He worked with the most “difficult” students motivating them by discovering their interests and bringing in magazines as well as comic and graphic novels to motivate them. Each and every one of his students progressed and developed a deep admiration and respect for “Mr. Anthony.”

During our early years in San Diego, it became clear that distance could not sever the bonds that had been forged back in New York. Soon, all the cousins, the Dall family and Ronnie started flying out to visit. Aside from the many outings to discover all that San Diego, nearby Mexico and Los Angeles had to offer, everyone enjoyed going clubbing, rolling Anthony’s wheelchair out to the center of the dance floor with everyone surrounding him and dancing in unison. His buddy, Ronnie would eventually move out to CA to be nearer. As such, his Bonita home, otherwise known as “Hotel Gonzalez,” would continue to be a hub for good times, shared laughter and joy as well as huge parties celebrating each decade of Anthony’s life.

On his 30th birthday, Anthony’s lungs collapsed necessitating his having a tracheotomy and living on a ventilator for the remainder of his life. As usual, he viewed this not as a negative, but as his being given a new life. When he became more ill and needed additional assistance, he began receiving home healthcare nursing assistance for two shifts a day and eventually for round-the-clock care. Even though he was mostly bed-ridden by this point, he stilled enjoyed his weekly outings with his nurses to Walmart to do his shopping and to the Pacific Beach boardwalk in the summertime to watch the pretty girls in bikinis skate or walk by. Anthony had a great eye for beauty and good figures as was evidenced by all his poster girl calendars hanging around the walls of his room.

His sister eventually married Jose Ivan Quiceno, an ophthalmologist who later performed Anthony’s cataract surgery. He was astounded at what poor eyesight Anthony had yet about which he had never complained. In fact, Anthony’s only comment was one of gratitude for returning to him the pleasure of seeing the pretty girls in their skimpy bikinis! When his niece, Ivanna Francesca Quiceno, was born, once again Anthony’s life was renewed. He doted over his “niecey” and took immense pride in all of her accomplishments.

The last days of his life were equally filled with love, laughter and sharing of memories. People from all over the world sent in their anecdotal messages relaying good times shared with Anthony and the extent to which he had impacted their lives. These were read to him in a private “Celebration of Life” ceremony conducted in his hospital room with people Facetiming in to share in this beautiful moment of love, joy and letting go.

The common thread throughout all these messages was that Anthony saw every adversity as a new challenge – one to be overcome by employing his fierce courage, wit, positivity and enthusiasm for life. Anthony never complained or felt sorry for himself, but rather lived his life with vigor, humor and vitality. He never saw limitations nor flaws in others. Instead, he always sought to make people laugh and be happy. He has been the beacon that has drawn us, bound us, supported us and strengthened us and we are ALL eternally grateful for having known him. He has touched the lives of so many and we have ALL forever been changed for the better.

Anthony, we love you and know you are in a better place – no longer restricted by your physical form. Soar high and free. Until we see each other again.

Written by his sister, Jeanette Gonzalez-Quiceno on August 27, 2019 with endless love and gratitude.