David F. Highsmith

Dave was born August15, 1967 in Mesa, Arizona. He was raised all over the United States by his mother Linda Gibson with his older brother Jim and his younger brothers Bob, Randy who died in early childhood and Pat. They moved to San Diego in 1978 and settled down.

In his sophomore year at Southwest high school he met Marrie at a cross country practice and they became sweethearts. He joined the Army Reserves and left for boot camp at Fort Eustis, Virginia the day graduating high school in the summer of 1985. He bought Marrie an engagement ring from the money he made at boot camp. They married on February 20, 1988 and their daughter Marissa was born on October 20, 1989.

He joined the San Diego County Sheriffs department 1990, then later switched over to the San Diego Police Department in 1991 where he continued to work for 20 years until just before his death.

He was diagnosed with cancer on September 30, 2009 and fought a long and hard battle until he died peacefully at home on February 9, 2011 surrounded by his closest friends and family.

In Lieu of flowers, please send donations to the San Diego Chapter of the American Cancer Society

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From Natalie Stone

The Beginning

I met Dave in 1996 when I was a newly promoted Sergeant in Southeast San Diego. Although he worked a different watch, I could tell he was young and full of spit and vinegar. I didn’t have a lotof Dave stories from early in his career, so I asked for help.

Sergeant Steve Behrendt provided me with the following stories of the young Dave:

When Dave came to Southeastern out of training he was assigned to the watch I was on. He was a little brash and cocky. His ID number was 4800, and whenever someone asked him for it for a report he would respond, “forty-eight double-ought buck.” This irritated one of the guys on my squad and he would give Dave a hard time and started calling him, “double-ought buck.” Dave showed how stubborn he was and continued using that line.

It seemed like police work came naturally to Dave and he made a lot of good arrests. But he also got into a lot of fights and foot chases while working as a single officer. I needed a new partner near the end of 1993 and my sergeant approached me about working with Dave. They thought I would be a good influence and tone him down a bit. I liked Dave and I said sure.

This first night we worked together I was driving down a street when we saw several young gang member types gathered near an alley. As I pulled up they immediately began running. Dave jumped out of the car and began chasing them. I chased after him and he caught one of them after about one block. We didn’t have anything to charge the guy with and ended up letting him go. I made it very clear to Dave that we would not run after people unless we had an actual crime to arrest them for. He was very receptive and seemed to agree with my reasoning. Dave was young and had a ton of enthusiasm. He was also smart and learned quickly.

A couple weeks later we were the number two car in a pursuit. Near a park in Chula Vista the suspect stopped and ran into the park. As I was throwing the car into park I looked over to tell Dave something and he was gone. He had obviously leapt out before I came to a stop. Dave helped take the suspect into custody. After Dave and I got back to the car, he started looking very pale. I asked him if he felt OK and he told me he had swallowed his chew when he jumped out of the car. I don’t recall if he actually got sick but I know I came close to taking him to an emergency room.

Child Abuse

When Dave was first assigned to the Child Abuse Unit, he came in to look at his new work space. He was wearing jeans and sneakers and was sporting a ponytail, mustache and a goatee. I told him jokingly that his outfit was unacceptable for our unit and I could see his middle fingers getting ready to salute me, as only Dave would do.

Dave told everyone in the Office that he was only there as a “favor” for a Lieutenant. He said, “I hate children, they’re so noisy!”

When Dave didn’t agree with the findings of doctors at Children’s Hospital, he would say, “They’re just doctors. I hate doctors.”

I could tell that working Child Abuse was not a passion for Dave, but he loved the people in the unit. Like Dave, I never wanted to work in Child Abuse, and I turned the job down once before I was told I was going to work there, no ifs, ands, or butts. I know now that there was a reason we all crossed paths again in Child Abuse. I hope Dave knew how much he was loved and how much he touched each of us, more deeply than most people experience in their lifetime. Dave’s love us was real, tangible and heartfelt.

Detective Sylvia Vella said the following:

When I think of Dave the word HONOR comes to mind. Honor is personal integrity; an allegiance to moral principles. Dave was a person who went beyond the act of self and reminded us of our own human limitations. Dave went beyond the call of duty, and confronted an attacker to protect his fellow officers, putting his own life in danger. For this selfless and honorable act, Dave received the Department’s highest award, The Medal of Valor.

Dave not only displayed great honor, but also great courage. He had the courage to confront fear, pain, risk danger, uncertainty and intimidation never swaying from his course of action. Dave displayed both physical and moral courage as a husband, father, friend, and police officer.

Michel de Montaigne said, “Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.” Dave lived a courageous and valiant life.

Running

Dave was a runner. He was a coach for In Motion Fit and loved the challenges of running full and half marathons. His enthusiasm got me motivated to get back into running. I also joined In Motion Fit, but I usually only saw the back of Dave as he was speeding away from me.

Three weeks before his cancer diagnosis, Dave ran the Heartbreak Ridge Half at Camp Pendleton. It’s one of the most grueling half marathons in San Diego. Even though he hadn’t been feeling well, he powered through the run and finished.

A few weeks before he passed, I asked Dave if he had any unfinished business he wanted to take care of…any places he wanted to see or anything he wanted to do. He said he was happy that he and Marrie had gone on a few cruises over the last two years, and they had recently gone to Napa. Dave said he wanted to go for a 5 mile run, but as he looked at me, we both knew that he wouldn’t be able to do it.

It was difficult for me to continue running with In Motion Fit after Dave was diagnosed with cancer. I joined to get back into shape, but also because it was a way for me to know Dave on another level. I think part of me was waiting for Dave to kick cancer’s ass and come back to the group, but sadly, that did not happen. To honor Dave, I will not quit again. I will continue running with the group because I know Dave would have wanted that for me.

I would like to thank Coach Katie and the In Motion Fit runners for finishing Dave’s last 5 mile run. They dedicated their run at Lake Miramar on Saturday, February 12, 2011, in honor of Dave, who was their coach and friend. It was a beautiful day to run, and I know Dave would have loved it.

Lessons from Dave

There were so many lessons we learned from Dave, here are just a few:

Never wish your time away. Sometimes we want a day or week to pass quickly so that we can get on to the next day or week. Some days are better than others, but there are really no bad days. Live each day to its fullest.

Stop waiting to live your life. Take vacations. See the places and the people you want to see. Life is short and precious. Seize the moment and live in the now.

Love like you mean it. Tell the people you love that you love them! Don’t be afraid to show emotion, whether happy or sad. Give freely of your smiles and hugs! Dave was never afraid to tell anyone, not even the biggest and burliest of cops, “I love you.” When he said it, we all knew he meant it.

Dave taught me to never take my life or skills for granted. When he came to work for me in Child Abuse, he was dealing with the aftermath of being in a police shooting. His partner was shot and Dave courageously shot and killed the suspect. Dave told me that my gun was a “piece of shit,” and I needed to go buy a Glock, and that I needed to practice shooting more often. I went and bought two Glock 9mm handguns. Dave and I shot often at the police range and I enjoyed every moment of that time we spent together. On June 16, 2010, I was also involved in a gun battle at work. In many ways, I attribute Dave’s experience for saving my life. I walked into a hostile situation with the confidence to survive, because that is what Dave would have done.

Maya Angelou said, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope.” That was the essence of Dave’s love for his family and friends.

The end

On October 1, 2010, Dave posted the following on his facebook page:

‎2 yrs ago, a cancer doctor told me I had 1 year w/out chemo or 2 years w/chemo. I ask you all to hoist a drink tonight and say f@%k the prognosis. I will continue to fight and refuse to surrender. It is a victory just to be here today, and I know I did it due to the wonderful friends I have. Thank you all.

Dave’s last marathon was a competition against Father Time. Dave went toe to toe, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Dave beat Father Time’s estimate of 2 years, and when Dave reached the finish line, Father Time was dripping with sweat, breathing hard as he bent over with his hands on his knees. Father Time told Dave, “That was a hell of a race.” Dave replied, “You bet your ass and you’re lucky I ran out of time!”

It was a privilege to know and work with Dave. It was a blessing to be his friend. Until we meet again, my friend, I miss you Dave and I love you.

Natalie Stone

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From the Heart

By Gisela Sallee

First and foremost, thank you all for coming. It is a true honor to be part of this and experience the genuine love and caring we all share in common for Dave as either a special friend, family, husband, father , partner, coworker, brother and son. Forgive me in advance, I am not a public speaker much less in front of hundreds of people and under the circumstances, nevertheless I feel compelled to share what a great individual and friend Dave truly was, and how his memory and spirit will forever continue to be with those of us who love, cherish and adore him.

I met Dave 21 years ago, just a few months after marrying my husband who introduced me to his buddies… or as we now call them “the boys”. One of them of course being Dave. I have to admit, it was a slight culture shock initially because the only conversations that surrounded me were those of army, battles, fights, knives and guns. Mind you, we were all really young. Their demeanor; most often then not, a little rough and gruf for my taste. Candidly speaking, I felt a bit out of place and knew it would take a little while to get used to my new environment. The fact of the matter was clear, I had to embrace it because I was going nowhere. I was already married, therefore it included the whole package. My husbands family and dear friends would become mine as well. I can now truly say that it has been an HONOR and that I have been truly blessed by this. Little did I know then, that one of “the boys” would now become , one of MY biggest inspirations. For those of you who truly knew Dave, he was exemplary in more ways then one. He stood for what he believed in and approached life and every challenge head on. He said it like it was . You can’t get more genuine then that. He was true example of courage, determination, perseverance and strength. The very same qualities he displayed until his very last breath. He was a true fighter, in every sense of the word and in every aspect of his life. He was a true family man, a phenomenal husband and father. Amongst his many accomplishments, the one he was most proud of was that he raised a magnificent daughter who is now independent and ready to tackle any challenge that presents itself before her. Just like her dad. He was a great cook and an outstanding host. Dave was also warm, loving and an extremely caring friend, who in the midst of turmoil took the time to encourage others and became a beam of light who offered hope for a brighter tomorrow.

It is everyone’s worst nightmare to be diagnosed with a potentially fatal disease. Life changes abruptly! Not just for the patient but the entire family. Dave’s journey was no exception! Where once; the rushed breakfast and early commute to work, promises hope for yet another productive day, Dave lost that priviledge in the blink of an eye and was left by the doctors with little or no hope for the future on the day of his diagnosis. I remember clearly the callousness and lack of bedside manners when both Dave and Marrie were told that he only had roughly six months to live, maybe longer. This was a little over two years and four months ago. Which only shows the true testimony that depicts his determination in proving everyone of those doctors wrong! Regardless of what he had been told, it was uplifting and inspiring to witness and experience his commitment to fight and win this battle. He got up every day thereafter and with dignity and hope was ready to do whatever it took to get well. No matter the odds, he went to work almost daily and more often then not while not feeling well or in pain. That is more then commendable! For him to only stop working two weeks before his passing exemplifies his true nature and character. He was not just committed to himself and his beautiful family but to the entire San Diego Police Department until the very end. In my eyes and in those of many, he won the fight! Although he was taken from us physically, his spirit NEVER GAVE UP AND WILL STAY WITH US FOREVER.

I had the priviledge to bond with Dave at a different level. A few months after his diagnosis I was diagnosed myself with a different illness. We understood each others battle and what it meant to fight for our lives day in and day out. What I did not know, is that Dave would now become a warm and gentle friend who would offer me the most encouragement I had ever experienced. During HIS most difficult times, he often found time to offer me hope. Through his actions and the three words “never give up” he exemplified the meaning of a true “hero”.

Two years ago during Christmas, I was discharged from the hospital on the 23rd of December. Although our Christmas tree was up, we had no presents for the children. We will never forget that afternoon, when uncle Dave and aunt Marrie rung our door bell with presents for the kids. This, only being a few months after his own diagnosis. Once again, an example of his unselfish and generous nature while clinging on to life himself.

Dear Marrie, you were blessed to have each other. You are an amazing woman and friend, who not only displayes the same courage and qualities but was by his side gently caring and loving him until his very last breath and thereafter. Thank you for being such an amazing wife, mother and friend. We should all be able to endure such pain with the poise and dignity that you did. The reality is, that not everyone can. You are truly one of a kind.

It is with the deepest honor and respect that I now say goodbye to my dear friend, someone that over the years I now called family. Someone who clearly stood for and represents the epitomy of INTEGRITY,COURAGE, STRENGTH, DIGNITY, OPTIMISM, PERSEVERANCE, and DETERMINATION. As our “second mom” Paula calls him : a “True Warrior.”

Thank you for the priviledge to have known you! You have been a true inspiration not just to myself but many!

Rest in Peace my friend, you will remain in our hearts and memories always. As for me and Vern we can promise you this…WE WILL ALWAYS WATCH OUT FOR THE TWO YOU LOVED THE MOST as we love them dearly as well.

I LOVE YOU!!

Gisela Sallee