Pasquale F. Massaro

By Alfaye C. Massaro

Patsy, Pat, Pasquale was born September 5, 1935 at 10 Edgar St., New Haven Ct., to Giovanni and Pasqualina Massaro who migrated from Italy in 1934. Giovanni was a shoe repairman and Pasqualina was a housewife.

He was the 3rd of four children. Older brothers Mario and Giuseppe were born in Italy and youngest sister Mari (Chick as we fondly call her) was born in Bridgeport, Ct.

His parents moved to Bridgeport, Ct. where “Patsy”, as friends knew him, spent most of his boyhood years.

He attended Columbus School and Central High School where he excelled playing basketball. His sister recalled that he loved playing sports so much that when their father tasked him to paint a room he made a deal with her that he would give her his Varsity jacket if she did the painting for him, needless to say he lost his “Jacket”.

Aside from sports, he also loved music. His brother Mario enrolled him for guitar lessons. He said that there were times when he’d forego the lesson instead he would treat his friend for some “soda pop” (he was generous even then – one of his many wonderful traits) with the 25c his brother gave him to pay the teacher.

In 1952 he lost his father to cancer and so he entered the job market to help his mother. He stocked grocery items during the day and set up bowling pins at night

As with every young man of his time, he registered in the Selective Service System on September 14, 1953. It was then that he found out that his given name was not “Patsy” as he had used all his school years. His name as registered in the birth records was “Pasquale”. He once said “that was a big mess reconciling my records before I could join the service”.

In 1954, he and his friend Arthur Hayes joined the Navy Reserve. He went into active in 1957 and the rest is history.

His 1st duty station VP-11 Brunswick, Me., followed by VP-7 Brunswick, Me., where he met a young man from Buffalo, NY by the name of Leo Corbelli who became one his best “buddies”. Pat (as he became to be known in the Navy circle) became the Godfather to Leo’s son Danny.

In 1959, he was shipped to USS Valcour AVP 55. In 1960 from ship to shore – he landed in NSA London England. I remember him saying that in this duty station they had to wear civilian clothes instead of Navy uniform for Security reasons. This was one of the duty stations he recalled with fond memories. It was only fitting for it was during his stint in London (1960-63) that he met a young and beautiful English lady by the name of Barbara Dutton.

During his tenure in England he also coached and all Navy Basketball Team and competed against other teams and won the championship.

In November 1963, he returned to the US and was stationed RECSTA Norfolk, Va. (1963-67). He continued corresponding with Barbara in London, England. When he saved enough money to consider marriage proposal, he sent for her in June 1965. They were later married on October 30th 1965. On Friday June 9, 1967 at 9:01 in the morning, they were blessed with a son, Paul Justin Massaro, their little bundle of joy who came just in time for Father’s Day celebration a week later.

In November 1969, he was transferred to USS Yellowstone AD 27 (1967-70). In the latter part of 1969 his ship deployed to Italy. Curious about his Italian heritage, Pat, with the help of his mother, began looking for relatives. It didn’t take long and he was feasting on home cooked Italian favorites. His buddies aboard the ship woke him up early on weekends and bribed him so they can visit his relatives for sumptuous Italian meals. Christmas 1969 was also spent in Italy. Here he played Santa Claus to children visiting the ship. He had a smirk on his face when he remembered those children making “smart” remark about “Santa Pat” in Italian, and then he said that when he responded to them in Italian their eyes got big and some of them took off.

From September 1970 to June 1975 he was station in NAVSTA Norfolk, Va., and then FMAG Norfolk, VA. Pat was a man of many talents. While on shore duty he moonlighted at the CPO club as a bartender.

Just when things were getting good he received his order to report to USS Hector-AR 7 in December 1975. This was his first trip to the West Coast. It was a big change from all other duty stations. USS HECTOR was home ported in Alameda, CA. In 1977 his ship went on deployment (Westpac - six months out to sea in the western pacific). While docked in Japan, Pat played soft ball for recreation. In one of the games he slid into second base and broke his collar bone. Their ship continued on to the Philippines. While there (August 1977), he received a message of his mother passing away. He took a space available flight from Clark Air Force base to Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii and finally to the CONUS.

His tour of duty aboard USS Hector ended November 1978 and was transferred to NAVSTA, San Diego. In February 1979, Barbara, his beloved wife passed away. He became father and mother to 12 years old Paul.

In May 1979, he was transferred to PSD (Personnel Support Detachment) NAVSTA, San Diego. Here he served as the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Command (MCPOC). In July 1979, he purchased his first house on Hector Ave., San Diego. He looked at 3 houses and when he was shown the house on Hector Ave he decided that was the house for him. He picked the house not because it had great bones, not because it had good amenities, he said he picked it because of the street address – HECTOR – (having just come off USS Hector-AR 7) “it couldn’t be that bad”. Paul loved it – Pat had a basketball rim installed, bought a mini-schnauzer pup (named her Missy). Missy was a very good companion to Paul when Pat was at work. Eight months later Missy gave birth to 5 puppies, four were sold back to the breeder and he kept one and named her Krissy.

On April 15, 1981, a young PN3 Alfaye Carpio, reported to PSD NAVSTA, San Diego. As she walked by the administrative office where the MCPOC held office, Master Chief Massaro made a remark to his troops “there’s the girl I’m going to marry”. His troops took that as a joke so they were all laughing. This is where I will tell you his story from the heart.

After checking in I had to report to the MCPOC for orientation. As I walked in, I noticed that everybody was “cracking up”. It made me feel uncomfortable. He shook my hand and gave me the “Welcome Aboard” speech. He was also in-charge of assigning personnel to different departments. It might be coincidental but I was assigned to the Admin Office. After the introduction to the rest of the staff I found out that one of the YN’s is married to a classmate of mine back in PI, so I asked him what the giggling was about when I entered the office, so he told me about his comment and then he added “Master Chief is a widower”. I did not think anything of it. On the 3rd day he asked me to step outside because he wanted to talk to me about someone in the department. He had an envelope in his hand – to myself I was saying “this is just my 3rd day and I’m in trouble already” – then he started talking about a PN2 who’s married to a chief and was taking her friends to the CPO club for lunch. So I told him “I don’t know who you’re talking about and what do I have to do with her?” So he said “anyway what are you doing tomorrow night (Friday)? I said, “I said I go to school” – he said “this is not a do or die thing, but how about tomorrow night (Saturday). I replied “ nothing important”. So he said “I will pick you up at 19:30 (military time for 7:30 pm)…and the rest is history.

In 1982, I was due for re-up. I requested a Guard 3 duty in Italy but there was no billet for a PN2. I told my XO that if I can’t get a guard 3 duty in Italy or Spain, then I’m out of the Navy. In September 1982, I got out of the service. Pat then said “I have a room for one more in my house if you want to move in with me”. After careful consideration and not knowing what’s in store for “us”, I accepted his offer. I also told him that “I asked for a guard 3 assignment to Italy and I guessed you’re the closest I could get to Italy (remember he’s Italian).

In 1985 he found out he had diabetes – I remembered that he was very upset – and rightfully so because his mother passed away because of complications from diabetes.

He retired September 1, 1986 after serving seven years at PSD NAVSTA, San Diego and 33 years in the Navy. We were married September 5, 1986, his birthday. I asked “Why on your birthday?” he said “so you won’t forget my birthday!” It was also during this time that I started calling him by his given name “Pasquale”. I told him I liked the sound of his name. From that point on he would introduced himself to people he met as Pasquale not Pat.

While waiting for me to come home from work, he frequented the gym, played golf, and spent a lot of time with Missy and Krissy, we would ran 3 miles a day after I came home from work. After 2 years, he got bored of the same routine. In 1988, he gained employment at Social Security Administration (SSA).

In 1996, he had his first health issue – he had a vascular by pass on his right leg. It was then that he decided to retire from SSA. He continued with his retirement routine. Then he also discovered the casinos close by. It became his choice of entertainment. Viejas Casino was his favorite casino.

On January 24, 2005, Pasquale woke me up at 7am saying “I am having chest pains”. I immediately called 911 and was taken to Kaiser Hospital. The diagnosis was “heart attack”. He was transferred to Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla (contract hospital for Kaiser’s Heart patient) the following day an angiogram was done and doctor told me that angioplasty was out of the question – an open heart surgery was necessary. The following day, (January 26 – my birthday) Pasquale underwent a quadruple bypass and an aortic valve replacement. After 8 long hours of waiting the doctor came out and told me that everything went well and I should be able to see him in a couple of hours. After 3 hours of waiting I was able to see him. I stayed on his bedside and some members of my family started arriving to visit. When he woke up (around 8pm) he sang “Happy Birthday” to me. I knew then that he was alright. He remembered it was my birthday without reminding him. Two days later, the nurses were preparing to transfer him from ICU to the recovery room. It was around 6:00 pm, nurses were changing shifts, normally they would ask me to leave, and since they were transferring him they told me I could stay. I looked at the monitor and what little I knew, I could tell that Pasquale’s vital signs were not good. I called the nurse and immediately she called in “Code Blue”. They rushed him to the operating room. At 3:00am the Doctor came out and told me that “we will be lucky if he’ll last till morning”. Broken hearted, I told the Doctor “I’m going home to take a nap and I will be back at 6:00am”.

When I returned Pasquale was back in ICU. There were 5 doctors by his bedside, each a specialist in different branches of medicine. His chest was open, covered with what looked to me as “mesh cloth”, he was sedated, breathing tube was inserted down his throat, I counted 21 IV’s with different medication and I could see his heart beating through the mesh cloth. He remained in this condition for one week.

On February 16, 2005 he was well enough to be transferred back to Kaiser Hospital for additional recovery period. A week later they moved him to a rehab facility for physical and occupational therapy. On March 11, I finally brought him home.

In December 2013, he had a CHF (Congestive Heart Failure). In May 2014 he underwent vascular bypass on both legs. In August 2014 he had 2 episodes of CHF – 23 days apart. In July 2015 he was hospitalized for bacterial infection.

On June 22, 2016 at around 10:30pm, he woke me up for chest pain. I gave him his chest pain medication and after the required dose, the pain did not go away. I then called 911. He told “I am afraid”. I told him “there’s nothing to be afraid of, I’m right here with you”. He was taken to Kaiser Hospital and the diagnosis was a “heart attack”. On June 23, he was transferred to Scripps Memorial Hospital where an angiogram was performed. No blockage was found. The side effects of the process, “kidney failure”. They started dialysis to help his kidney functions. He remained at Scripps for 16 days.

He was transferred to rehab facility on July 9. Everything was going well. He was continuing his dialysis with an outside facility. He was scheduled to come home July 21, but due to a little mishap during his physical therapy the doctor moved it to Sunday, July 24.

On July 21, Thursday, at around 6:50pm he asked me if I could assist him to the bathroom, after that I sat him at the edge of the bed and he wanted to finish his dinner. He asked for dessert, chocolate chip cookie, I was getting ready to hand it to him and I noticed that he was moving backwards as if wanting to lie down. I noticed that he had no control of it. I caught his head just in time before it hit the bed rail, his fist were clinched, his eyes rolled back and his lips were turning blue. I yelled for help, the CNA arrived and called the nurses, they called 911 and just as the other nurses arrived in the room, Pasquale came to and asked me what happened. I told him “I don’t know if you had an epilepsy – something you never had before”. The nurses check his vital signs and everything looked fine. After he was settled back in bed – he slept for three hours. I stayed by his bedside way past the visiting hours. A little before 10:00pm, Pasquale groaned, I asked him if he was “okay” and he said “yes”. He did it one more time and the same response. And then he took one big gasp, I was tapping his face to wake him up and calling his name at the same time, he rolled his eyes backwards and I did not feel anymore heartbeat from his chest. Vicky, the receptionist heard me and ran to the room and ran back to her desk and called 911 and summoned the nurses. They were at his bedside right away and started CPR. Within 2 minutes paramedics arrived, they gave one “shock” and they were able to revive him. He was transported to Sharp Grossmont Hospital. Breathing tube was inserted to help him, IV’s attached and everything else that needed to be done to make him comfortable. He was sedated so no communication was possible. Through all these, I talked to him, announced who was visiting. The Doctor asked me if I realized how sick my husband was and I said “Yes”.

On Saturday night, July 23, Melissa, the attending nurse asked me if I want chest compression if he goes downhill and I said “yes”. Melissa was very compassionate and spelled out how sick he really was. I told her I will think about it overnight and let her know if change my mind. At 2:00am Sunday, I called the hospital and let them know that I changed my mind – I don’t want any compression if Pasquale turns for the worst.

On July 24, at 8:00am in the morning, I received a call from Jessica, his nurse for the day. She said that if it possible to get to the hospital as soon as I can, she said “things are not looking good and you might want to call whoever else needs to be here”. I called my stepson Paul to relay the message, and then I called my sisters Lynn and Lee to take me to the hospital. Relatives started arriving and I told Pasquale every single one of them that’s visiting him.

At 11:30 everyone went down to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat. I noticed that his heartbeat is not registering on the monitor, nor was his blood pressure. I asked the nurse if she can get a chaplain to give him his last rites and she obliged politely. I started talking to him and I told him “Know that I love always, I am right beside you and I am letting you go. It is okay to go my love”

At 11:35, July 24, 2016 my PASQUALE was supposed to come home to me instead He is Going Home to his MAKER.

MY LIFE WAS WORTH LIVING BECAUSE OF YOU!

I LOVE YOU PASQUALE! Until we meet again.