A Tribute to my Mother
Rev. R. Douglas Lindsay

“May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!”
  The Word of the Lord  -  Proverbs 23:25

Last Thursday, Sandra and I spent the evening with my Mother in the hospital. I was sitting by her bedside, and although she said she did not want to be asked too many questions, there were a couple of details I needed to know. I said I know that she was born in Truro, NS. And then I said with a smile, “Someone recently asked me why I was born in Nova Scotia. I replied’ ‘Simply because I wanted to be close to my mother!’”  She laughed as did we all. Then the questions… “Where was Grandma born?” and “Where was my Grandfather born?” “Both in Belmont, not far from Truro,” she quickly replied.  She never knew pain and her mind was sharp to the end. She went to Heaven the next morning shortly after 6:30 AM. She said to me, “Doug, be strong. I want to go to heaven. I’ve had a wonderful life with good friends, neighbors and the very best family. Don’t be sad.” *Easy for her to say, she is in Heaven, not standing here today!!
Words could never express the debt of love I owe my mother. She was only 18 when I was born. My father had left for World War Two before they were married. At home on Tuesday August 12th, 1941, I was born. It was the 224th day of the year, and in the 32nd week of the year. I was 12 lbs. 1 oz. The doctor, who did not have children offered to adopt me then and there. My mother said “No!” *I guess she thot that if she could deliver a boy weighing 12 lbs and more – at home – she could do ANYTHING!! From that day, she set out to work and provide for me the best she could. I lived with my Grandmother and Aunt, while my mother moved to Toronto to train as a receptionist/secretary. She sent money home for the family. When I was about 4 years old my Grandmother and I moved to Toronto. They both worked and supported me as I boarded with a family who became like an aunt and uncle. Finally when I was 11 years old, my mother and I moved into an apartment together. I was so excited! My mother was beautiful. The guys at school would ask, “Who’s that movie star we see you walking up the street with?” I would reply, “That’s my Mother!”
During the last year or two of high school, I knew the Lord was calling me into the ministry. Although she had other dreams for me, she supported my decision from the moment I told her. She was so proud when I graduated from Bible College. All the years since, she addressed my Birthday cards, Christmas cards, etc., “Rev. R Douglas Lindsay”.  My mother was there for me when I got married; when our children were born; when I received my Bachelors Degree, and as we moved from church to church and even when we became missionaries with Wycliffe. She has celebrated all the special events in our lives and her grandchildren and great-grandchildren will miss her cheque at birthdays and at Christmas. We have enjoyed the many years of winter holidays with her in Florida. *She spent 18 winters in Florida. This would have been her 19th. How fortunate to have been the son of such love and devotion!
She loved, lived and laughed! I think I made her proud…but isn’t that what a son is supposed to do?  With much love and great memories…..your son!

This is the eulogy I wrote for Grandma's funeral.
Love to all who read it.
Bruce

I wrote some thoughts about Grandma and asked my brother and sisters to do the same.  Then I put them all together and found three themes.  Grandma was a social butterfly who loved to sing, dance, visit and party, Grandma was proud of us, AND grandma was generous with us – even to the point of spoiling us.

Grandma was a fun lady.  Heather remembers her great legs and high heel shoes.  She would play with a skipping rope and could skip peppers.  She always had the radio on.  I think for all of us it was our introduction to Country Music.  Country music still reminds us all of grandma.  Her house was always party central.  Visitors would always stop in, almost any time of day.  Grandma would always have pop in the fridge and mix a drink for a friend.  She would just tell us, “Don’t drink that one.  That’s grandma’s pop.  ”  She always had a box of chocolates ready to serve (after 8’s or Tofee Faye, or chocolate almonds), or we could help ourselves to the nuts in her teak wooden bowl and nut cracker on the coffee table or she could open a bag of pretzels.  She liked to dance and sing.  She always preferred happy songs with catchy lyrics that you could sing along to.  I guess I do too.

Of all our weddings, I think she liked Ian's wedding the best, because Ian had a dance!  Grandma loved to dance.  I think in her heart she was always  eighteen years old.

When we visited, she would watch for us to arrive.  Then she would run out the front door and onto the front lawn.  She would give a high kick in the air, wave her arms and cheer as we drove up.  I’m sure the neighbors thought she was nuts.  As young children, the sight of our Grandma cheering and waving made us feel so excited.  We thought that Grandma must have a special surprise for us and she can hardly wait to show us.  We couldn’t wait to get out of the car.  Then, when our visit was over and we were leaving, she would do it again!  Out on the lawn, jumping kicking and waving and cheering until we were out of sight.  It started a family tradition.  When you come to visit, don't be surprised if we're jumping and kicking and cheering for you when you arrive.

On being proud of us:  I wouldn’t say she was a proud person, but she was proud of us.  Grandma had many reasons to be proud; she could knit better than anyone I know – she knit socks along with sweaters and slippers and anything else you might imagine for anyone who asked.  She could beat anyone in golf that I know, but she usually didn’t keep her trophies around for long.  She treated them like so much clutter, and got rid of them before long.  She would kill me in Snooker or Boston or any kind of game of pool.  She would win just about any kind of game you can imagine.  When she beat me she would always say, “I bet you never thought your grandma could beat you in golf, did ya?” or, “I bet you never thought your grandma could beat you at snooker, did ya?”  Only one game could we beat her at, ‘Phase 10’ which is a card game, a little like Gin Rummy.  She’d always say, “I hate this game!”  But when she won she would smile and say, “I love this game!”

She was humble, but she was proud of us.  Heather remembers that when she graduated University, Grandma bought her a pair of diamond earrings to show how proud she was of her.  I remember Grandma loved to hear me play the piano, or the violin, or the trumpet or the banjo – whichever instrument I was interested in at the time.  She never cared about the mistakes.  In fact she had a way of getting the most out of children, and I understand how, much better now, as a soccer coach, than I did before.  She ignored the mistakes – because kids don’t make mistakes on purpose.  But she encouraged and rewarded the effort and the improvement.  That’s pretty much the way I coach soccer teams too.  You could say I learned it from Grandma.

She often played the music that we made; Ian and Heather with Celebrant singers, Ian with his southern gospel group the Chancellors and even my 
third-rate banjo songs.  She would listen over and over, proudly.

Dawn remembers Grandma being so excited when she was planning to marry Phillip.  Only that she wasn’t happy that he wasn’t going to move closer to Brantford.  Grandma visited as often as she could, even coming for Christmas from her home in Florida one year.

She was very proud of her great-grandchildren too.  Heather remembers when Annie was born.  Grandma came to help her take care of Connor who was two.  Every day she would proudly walk him to the park and they would joke about how Grandma pulled his trousers up too high.  He liked wearing them low.  They still laughed about that.  

Grandma visited Dawn after Samuel was born.  She was so proud of Sam’s confidence and sense of humour.  She loved to tell the story of taking Sam to a restaurant when he was four.  Sam asked the waitress to change the radio station because it was giving him a headache.  She thought he was so funny.  

Grandma especially loved Dawn’s daughter Lianna for her Scottish dancing.  Lianna would dance the fling whenever they were together – although she was too shy to dance for most people.  But she would always dance for Grandma.

Eli was special because Grandma said he looked the most like Dougie, with his enormous head and blonde curly hair and dimple.  She often called Dad, “Dougie.”  Just like, to her, I was always “Brucie.”  

We could always call Grandma, knowing that she would be thrilled when she heard that Clifford or Emma had great report cards or won some award for one of their teams.
 
Grandma was generous with us – in fact, she spoiled us.  I remember as a wedding gift Grandma gave Dana and I her car, a Hyundi Pony.  We all remembered that she never missed a birthday and always sent us a card with a cheque in it.  She continued to do that for each of the great-grandchildren.  That’s a lot of birthdays and a lot of cheques.  Great-grandson Samuel received the last birthday card from Grandma for his birthday March 31st.  He said he’d keep that card forever.

Heather remembers Grandma’s Christmas presents being the best.  She would always want to buy trendy clothes that were so different than what our parents would buy us.  My sisters (only about 8 at the time) called them ‘teenager outfits’.  

I remember in grade 8, I made the school track-and-field team and Grandma bought me a pair of Nike running shoes.  “To help you run faster” she said.  I think they cost sixty-five dollars.  I was wearing hand me down shoes from Ian or five-dollar shoes that Mom found on sale at Simpsons or Bargain Harolds.  Now, I had running shoes!  In the city track races, all the boys were fast runners, BUT I COULD FLY! 

Now, a Great Grandma, she would take my sisters to nice clothing stores and say “Every baby needs Osh Kosh Jeans.”  Dawn's kids all wore the same Osh Kosh snowsuit that Grandma bought for Sam.  Hand me downs, yes, but Dawn thought of Grandma whenever one of her babies wore it.

I mentioned the knitting.  Any time I wore out some slippers or socks, I only needed to let her know and she’d soon have another pair ready.  

My sisters remember staying with Grandma for a March break, and Grandma taking them to a Muppet movie.  They went with Tonya, Kelly and Mary.  They got popcorn and pop.  They felt so special because in our house, we weren’t allowed to go to movies.  My sisters think of grandma whenever they hear any of the Muppet songs.  

I forgot how jealous I was of them until I wrote that just now.  

Grandma didn’t like it when we got spanked.  Ian remembers when he was about 5, visiting Grandma and getting into some kind of trouble.  He needed a spanking.  Dad sent him into the kitchen to ask Grandma for a wooden spoon.  Grandma found an antique wooden carving of a spoon, about 3 inches long, and with a wink, said “Tell your dad this was all I could find.”  As Ian returned to the living room and showed Dad the spoon, neither of my parents could help but laugh.  Ian knew that – at that moment - Grandma had saved his hide!  He learned a valuable lesson that day; it’s tough to spank a kid when he’s making you laugh.  He used what he learned many times from that day on…

Heather remembers one time when she was going to be spanked, but Grandma was close enough to stuff a book down the back of her pants before Heather went in to face Dad.  When Dad saw the outline of the book he was mad.  Heather quickly said, “I didn’t put it there!  It’s Grandma’s book!”  Dad knew that Grandma had trumped him again!

Ian says, “We weren’t angels, but we never got in trouble when Grandma was around.  Maybe she brought out the best in us, but more likely her love manifested itself in a gentle kindness and patience that understood that we would all turn out OK – even without that spanking.”

I think the truth is simpler than that.  I think Grandma thought we were perfect.  And why in the world would anyone want to spank a perfect kid?

We will all miss our Grandma.  We know that when we get to heaven we’ll see Jesus, and I can’t wait for that meeting.  But now, when I picture heaven, yes I see Jesus, but then my eyes are drawn just beyond Him, and a little to the left.  On a patch of green or maybe in a garden, I see a short little lady with great legs and a giant smile!  And she’s jumping and kicking and waving her arms, cheering and shouting, “It’s so good to see ya!  WELCOME HOME!”

Our sincere sympaties to the family.We will miss Dottie and our joker games. Jim and Jeanne Dutton Naples  Fl.

To the family of Dorothy Martin please accept my condolences.   For many years "Dot" was the first person clients of Lefebvre and Lefebvre would meet as she maned the reception desk.  I recollect both as a young man coming in to visit at the firm and as a young employee, meeting and working with Dorothy who seemed to me to be the woman in charge.  Naw she was too busy having a laugh.  She was a great help to the firm with a wonderful personality and ability to make people feel right at home.  I just had a look at the company golf trophy and it should be noted that Dot was the office golf champ in 1991.  Dot we will miss you.  Len Lefebvre

Doug & Sandra:  I was so sorry to hear of your loss.  You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

As the days and weeks pass, and as you return to life's routine, may you continue to feel comforted by the love and support of family and friends.

DOT MARTIN WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED BY US AS A WONDERFUL FRIEND - WE WILL MISS HER HERE IN FLORIDA - ALREADY THIS PLACE ISN'T THE SAME WITHOUT HER.

BOB AND MARY MIL

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.  Dot was a very kind and generous lady. She will be greatly missed by many.

Tom and Cathy Dezell

So sorry to hear of your loss, Dot was a wonderful lady and will be missed by so many.  My mother-in-law (Vivian Burke) was her neighbour for years, and they were such good buddies. Heaven now has two special Angels. Love to you all with our sympathy. 
 Cathy & Paul Burke, Brantford

It was nice to know Dot.  It was good to have her at Keddy family gatherings and she will be missed.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you during these difficult days.

OBITUARY

Mrs. Dorothy Martin

27 December, 1922 – 16 April, 2010

Thorpe Brothers Funeral Home & Chapel

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