Dorothy Pauline Millen Rushton

Dorothy Rushton - Peacefully, surrounded by her family at the Grand River Hospital, Kitchener, on Friday, July 28, 2002: loving and beloved mother of Arnold and his wife Carol of Woodstock, Carolyn of Huntsville, Brenda Wallace of Brantford, Reverend Marilyn Rushton of Kitchener, and Brian and his wife Shirley of Brantford; cherished grandmother of Jeff (Diane), Kenn (Wanda), Michelline, Lynn Coleman (Pete), Nathan, Jeremy (and fiance Kassandra), and Ryan; dear great-grandmother of Skylar, Brooklyn, Sarah and Rebecca; much loved sister of Helen Auger of Ottawa, and Isabel Singer (Orie) of Truro, Nova Scotia; also survived by many nieces and nephews; predeceased by her parents Howard and Margaret Millen, husband Lloyd, and brothers Keith and Lloyd (infant). Dorothy spent her life devoted to her family and her faith. The family will recieve friends at the Thorpe Brothers Funeral Home, 96 West Street, Brantford, on Monday from 3 to 6 and 7 to 9 p.m. A Funeral Service will be held in the chapel of the funeral home on Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 2 p.m. with the Reverend John Tweedle to officiate. Interment at Mount Hope Cemetery. If desired, donations to the Canadian Cancer Society, New Convenant Church or the chariety of choice would be appreciated by the family and can be arranged through Thorpe Brothers, 759-2211.

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Remembering our Grandmother

This has been one of the easiest things to write and without a doubt will be one of the toughest things I have ever had to deliver, so please bear with me.

It is my great honor to speak about our beloved grandmother on behalf of all the grandchildren. Before speaking about the memories we all have about this great lady, I thought I would reflect on some words that I think embody her as a person.

As I reflect back on my experiences and the experiences of those around her, I think of several adjectives that describe her: kindness, caring, compassionate, thoughtfulness, considerate, high integrity, and two words that I think best sums it up: true selflessness.

Of all the people I have ever had the privilege of meeting in my life, I found our grandmother to be a woman with great strength who never complained, never spoke about herself, but who always dedicated herself to helping those around her. Kind to a fault, she taught all of us the value of thinking beyond ourselves by providing a sense of security, love, and trust so important to all of us as grandchildren as we grew up into young, and well in my case, middle age adults.

We will always love our grandmother partly because she made us feel special. She never missed a birthday card, always making the special effort to be at special events like our graduations, and always was the rock upon which our collective families could build a foundation around.

I thought I would take a few moments now to outline a few stories from a grandchild’s perspective.

From Michelline: Whenever I visited Nan, there were always things, which stood out. When you visited her place, if she knew you were coming, she would always have your favourite food available, for Michelline it was chocolate chip cookies. She would also have cards placed everywhere, whether they were Easter, Mother’s Day, etc. Photos were very important to her as every child, grandchild and great-grandchild would be put on display.

From Lynn and Nathan: Lynn remembers during the trip to Manitoba, how her and Nan would play games and one of those games was Uno. Lynn would always manage to beat Nan and Nan could never figure out how she always beat her. Lynn said she saw the reflection of the cards in Nan’s glasses and did not say anything to her. Lynn thought I’m pretty sure grandma knew, but knowing her she just never let on!

And another great story about Nan from Lynn and Brenda: “Once Grandma retired, she still needed to keep busy. Daily, Nan would come down to their home on Harriett street to let out Lynn’s dog, Sparky, out for a run in the backyard. While there she completely many chores including: preparing meals, laundry, dishes and housecleaning. Lynn remembers Nanny’s notes: “I’m mending your socks” “Clothes need to be put in the dryer” or “Supper is in the fridge” – sure enough when they opened the fridge door there would sit three plates with individual labels: “Brenda”, “Lynn” and “Nathan”.

From Jeremy and Ryan: As an avid baseball fan, Nan was always at their baseball games and one year Jeremy and Ryan gave her a baseball trophy for being their #1 fan! Our grandmother rarely missed one of their games.

And from Kenn and I: well many memories but maybe the most superficial but important one for growing boys was, well, FOOD. Besides her date squares, I loved her macaroni and cheese; without a doubt the best on the planet. And well my brother Kenn also loved her macaroni and cheese. But the only thing was I loved the cheese version and he loved the tomato version; so what is a grandmother to do? Well, she made two pans; one for each of us. I never thought much about it until Marilyn pointed this out the other day and I thought was a great metaphor, this simple act of making 2 separate types of macaroni and cheese so her grandson’s would be happy is to the type of person our grandmother was: she always was thinking how she could make the world a better place for others.

I have been very reflective the past few days about her and what she represented and my conviction is to ensure that I try my very best to emulate throughout my life some of the great qualities she has taught me, my brother, our family and all the grandchildren. Diane and I will be dedicating next year’s cancer bicycle ride to her memory in the hopes someday there will be a cure for the awful disease that took her from us.

As I close, I want to share a powerful statement Grandma said to me when I had the opportunity to visit her in late June. As she reflected on her situation and the likely outcome of the cancer, she matter of fact stated: “Jeff, I believe that God put me on this earth for a purpose and that purpose was to raise five great human beings and I think I did a pretty good job at that. And now the time has come for a new purpose that He will have for me.”

Grandma, Nan, Mom, or friend depending on your relationship with my grandmother all of us believe you have indeed accomplished your purpose and in doing so have made all of our worlds a better place to be. May God continue to bless you in your new role for everything you continue to mean to all of us.

~ Jeff Rushton

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Remembering Mom

Mom was born in Montrose, Nova Scotia, May 18th, 1921. Her parents chose a very suitable name for her – Dorothy -, which means “Gift of God”. Mom was one of five children. Later, she herself became the mother of five children.

As her five children, we all realized the many ways in which our lives have been blessed because God entrusted us to the loving care of a woman who gave sacrificially for her children. In Mom’s mind it was what a mother is called to do. As my sister Brenda said, “Mom was a parent in the best sense of the word. She was all that God meant parents to be and do.”

My brother Arn recently came across a few words, which he believes, describes the approach Mom took with him during his early childhood ways:

“Prepare the child for the path

Not, the path for the child.”

As Arn looks back upon his life it is easy for him to see how Mom prepared him for his teen and later years of life. Her basic approach with Arn was to simply allow him to develop, to learn from his mistakes and to gain confidence in himself and his own abilities. Mom also instilled in Arn, and I believe, each of her children, a healthy work ethic – work hard, be responsible, and enjoy the great feeling of satisfaction for a job well done.

As Arn worked part-time in high school, he remembers learning to relate the price of an item to the amount of work that had to be done to earn the money necessary to buy the item. This in turn, gave Arn a deeper sense of appreciation for the value of the clothes and good that Mom provided.

Mom made sacrifices for each and all of her children along the way. She wanted to be sure that we had all we needed. Each of us has our own stories that reflect the sacrifices Mom willingly and lovingly made for her children.

Arn remembers that during his first year of high school he tried out and was accepted on his school’s football team. Of course, that meant a load of dirty, smelling practice clothes for Mom to wash every night, but she never complained. Arn also learned that in order to play on the team you had to purchase you own football boots were relatively expensive and Arn’s saving would cover only a small portion of the cost.

Mom sensed that Arn was worrying about something and so, when asked he told her his problem. After teaching him that he should have known about the required boots before joining the team, she said that while she didn’t have the money she would see what she could do. Sure enough, when Arn came home from practice on Friday night, there was a brand new pair of football boots. Mom never explained to him where the money came from, but Arn remembers that for the next three weeks they seemed to have beans for supper more often than usual – much to Dad’s dismay.

There is no doubt that we were blessed with a Mom who put the needs of her children before her own. Like Arn, Brian also remembers that despite not having a lot of money, Mom always found a way to provide for us. He recalls a time when he required a fair bit of dental work. Once again the money was not readily available. What did Mom do? She took a cleaning job at the dentist’s office to pay for the dental work.

Carolyn remembers Mom getting up very early in the morning to work so that she had time to set the table fro breakfast, make lunches for us to take to school, and leave things ready for supper at night.

The first car Mom owned she bought together with Brenda. The car was Mom’s to go to work during the day and Brenda’s most evenings and weekends.

I will never forget and I’m sure I don’t know all the sacrifices Mom made in helping me complete two degrees at school. I do know that every once in a while Mom would send me $10 or $15 to help me with groceries or whatever I was needing. Knowing that Mom didn’t have much money made that $10 or $15 seem like gold to me.

Mom not only made sacrifices in monetary ways, but with her time also. She enjoyed the opportunities she had to baby-sit each and all of her grandchildren through the years. When I lived in Vancouver, Kingston and Manitoba, Mom took time to faithfully write to me every Sunday afternoon. I looked forward to those letters in the mail. When I moved to Kitchener in 1984 I was so pleased to relieve Mom of this responsibility. Instead of her writing to me, I began calling her every Sunday. Mom looked forward to those Saturday or Sunday phone calls from her children who lived out of town. She was the link that kept us connected with each other – telling us what was happening in each other’s lives.

In addition to giving sacrificially to meet the needs of her children, Mom also, accepted the uniqueness and individuality of each of her children. She never compared one of us another. We have all chosen very different paths in life and we have all experienced Mom’s love and encouragement – in good times and in challenging times. Mom was always there to listen to us without judging us.

Mom was one who liked to keep busy. I am sure this came for the many years that she worked extremely hard in providing for her family. In her retirement years she liked to go to Brenda’s most days – just to do a little of this or a little of that. Mom spent time in Kitchener as well – helping me in whatever ways she could. It was always a job to have her.

While Mom did different things at different times with and for her children, it was always important to her that she try to treat each of us as equally as possible.

For Mom, the later years of her life were better than her early years. Her years of hard work enabled her to raise each one of us, preparing each of us for our path in life. I think each one of us as her children enjoyed seeing Mom have some time to herself- going out with friends she met while working at the Brantford General Hospital and Kmart; becoming quite active at New Covenant Church, and yet, still being there to help anyone in the family who needed her.

She loved to have her family together as much as possible. Whenever she experienced a milestone in her life and we wanted to throw a party for her she told us that the only party she wanted was to have her family together. In the midst of her failing health, she purposed in her heart and planned in her mind a family gathering to celebrated 6 milestones in the lives of different family members from November 2001 to this coming November. In her honour we had that celebration July 7th.

There is no doubt in any one of our minds, that truly Mom was a gift of God to each of her children and their families. Her sacrificial giving, her commitment to family, her hard work, her strength and determination (sometimes called stubbornness) are qualities we will always remember about her.

In closing I would just like to share with you something that was in the Daily Bread Devotional on the day Mom died. Mom read this little book every morning before she said her prayers. On Friday, July 26th the reading was about how each of us is a unique individual in history. Every child of God has a special place in His plan.

Mom saw her place was with her family – her godly responsibility and design was to “prepare the child for the path, not, the path for the child.” God ordains our paths and guides our steps. Mom has been there for and with us each step of the way. Her spirit will continue to be with us as we continue, each of us, on the paths God has purposed for us.

As Mom faced the reality that her days one this earth were drawing to a close, she shared with a number of us that she believes that most of us may have some idea of when we are coming into this world but none of us knows when we are leaving – that’s in God’s hands. We are His and we are loaned here on earth, only for a time. When our time here draws to a close, He comes and takes us home. Mom’s prayer a week ago today was that her Lord would come and take her home. Her work here on earth is done. Now it will be up to each of us, her family, to carry on the legacy of love, devotion, and faith she has left for us – being there for and with each other – keeping the family strong and growing in faith and love.

I would like to close this time of remembrance this afternoon with a song of faith that is a tribute to our Mom’s godly life on this earth. The words of the song are words, that I believe, many of us long to hear and experience at the end of our days here upon this earth. As we listen to the song, “Well Done My Child”, I invite each of us to reflect upon Dorothy – a woman who truly lived up to her name, - gift of God.

~ Marilyn Rushton

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Well Done My Child

There may be a lonely valley

Waiting just around the bend

Many trials will come

Before I reach my journey’s end.

But through them I’ll be faithful

And I’ll walk in victory

Pressing toward the moment when

My Father says to me:

Well done My child

Your race is over

You have fought the fight

And kept the faith

Enter into the joy of the Lord.

Well done My child

Your crown is waiting

Here is your robe of white

Your mansion is just in sight

Come into the city of light,

Well done My child.

When I finally see the streets of gold

And the gates of pearl

I know that I’ll forget my every struggle in this

World.

Every pain and heartache will quickly fade away

In the glories moment when I hear my Saviour say:

Well done My child

Your race is over

You have fought the fight

And kept the faith

Enter into the joy of the Lord.

Well done My child

Your crown is waiting

Here is your robe of white

Your mansion is just in sight

Come into the city of light,

Well done My child.