Joseph Anis Nader

Joseph Anis Nader, 70, of Cary, NC, died January 21, 2026, after complications related to lymphoma. He was surrounded by family, and he will be remembered above all for a life defined by devotion-steady, practical, selfless devotion to family and the people he loved.

Joe was born March 26, 1955, in Cincinnati, Ohio, the first of seven children of Sheila Ann Plunkett Nader and John Shaheen Nader. The family later moved to Raleigh, North Carolina, for his father's work as an EPA physicist, and Joe attended William G. Enloe High School-later sharing that connection when both of his children graduated from Enloe as well.

A lifelong sports fan, Joe in childhood listened to Cincinnati Reds games on the radio, earned daygame tickets for making honor roll, and spent countless hours outside-impersonating Johnny Bench at backyard stickball, or playing pond hockey with neighborhood kids. Having skipped a grade, he was often the smallest on the field; in high school he brought that spirit to football as student manager for the Moeller High School team. After enrolling at the University of North Carolina in 1972, Joe loved all things Tar Heels. Family and friends remember Carolina games-whether in the living room or later by group chat-with the TV muted while Woody Durham called playbyplay on the radio. Known to nieces and nephews as "Tar Heel Joe," he rarely missed a game. Joe was gentle by nature; his toughest critic was usually himself-especially on the golf course, where he was forever chasing the next par.

Joe earned a B.S. in Mathematics from UNC ('76). In 1975 he met Ann Marie Knops, who became his wife of 43 years. After Ann Marie graduated in 1979, they lived in Germany and later in Seattle, where Joe worked for Boeing, before returning to the Triangle. Their son John was born on Father's Day 1983, and in 1985 they welcomed their daughter Jacqueline at Rex Hospital.

Devotion shaped Joe's choices. He supported Ann Marie through law school and her legal career. After a decade as a programmer, he founded the software company SofDesign in 1993, but when Ann Marie suffered a traumatic brain injury in 1996, he stepped away from entrepreneurship for stable W2 work-later serving as a project manager at Medic and then CSC-so he could provide benefits, flexibility, and care through years of recovery. After retiring, he met her 2019 cancer diagnosis with the same steadiness, caring for her through immunotherapy, the isolation of COVID, and daily challenges until her death in 2022.

Joe was equally devoted to his children. He gave them a childhood rich with games, from tag, driveway basketball and HORSE, and lively game nights of Trivial Pursuit, backgammon, and poker-always grounded in steady presence and unconditional love. They now aspire to carry that standard forward for their own children.

He was equally steadfast with his parents and siblings-caring for his parents in their later years and, after they passed, serving as a substitute patriarch for his generation. He was also the driving force behind family reunions, keeping far-flung relatives connected and returning to one another year after year.

In later years, Joe found love again with Pam Hogan Shank, a portrait artist and fellow '76 Carolina alumna. They married in October 2024, learned pasta-making on an excursion to Italy, and hosted family and friends in their new shared home in Cary. Joe enthusiastically supported Pam's art career, and became a devoted step-dad to her children and grandchildren, who cherished him. Pam became Joe's rock, and her life's rhythm the cadence of his own.

A tireless wordsmith, Joe would have felt it worthy of pun-ishment if we didn't mention his sense of humor. He rarely let a good setup go to waste, slipping wordplay into everyday conversation as naturally as breathing, typically evoking a groan, a laugh, and-just when you thought he was done-an encore, in equal parts clever and corny. All in good pun, of course.

Joe is survived by his wife, Pam; his son John (Eliza) and their children Josie (after Joe), Addie, and Noelle; his daughter Jacqueline (Sachin) and their daughter Sammie; stepdaughters Elizabeth Schenck (Jordan) and Meredith Kennedy; five step-grandchildren Logan, Natalie, and Ben Schenck, and Grayson and James Kennedy; five siblings, Tina (Walter), Tim (Anastasia), Paul (Sue), Jeanne (Pat), and Beth (Lou); and beloved nieces, nephews, and grandnieces and grandnephews. He was preceded in death by his wife, Ann Marie Knops Nader (2022), and by his brother, Peter.

A celebration of Joe's life will be held Friday, February 6, from 5:00–8:00 p.m. All who knew Joe are welcome; for details, email John at [email protected].

A Funeral Mass will be held at Saint Andrew Catholic Church in Apex on Saturday, February 7, at 12:00 p.m. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Joe's memory to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

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