Kaleb was such a kind and sweet boy. He had giant, expressive, brown eyes and adorable dimples. His smile was infectious, and his “happy bop” was pure and warmed the heart. His laugh changed the whole room, and his “laughing fits” were hysterical.
Kaleb was insistent on doing what everyone else was doing. If the girls were going to feed birds and hold a snake at the zoo, Kaleb was going to feed birds and hold a snake at the zoo. If there was a challenging part of a hike, he would go the same exact route his sisters went rather than an easier way we found for him. If his brothers were going to cross the Royal Gorge Bridge, well, he was going to try. He loved being out and about, and being included.
Our selfies together make me laugh; sometimes his smile is so forced! Kaleb is often just compliant. Kaleb had many different smiles. He had his super-forced, gritting teeth smile. He had his light but cheesy “get it over with” half-smile. There was his genuine, amazing “the world is wonderful” smile. I couldn’t help but squish his cheeks, and occasionally get an eye-roll back.
Kaleb was born in Syracuse, NY on November 8, 2002. He was diagnosed with Autism at only 20 months old, and his twin brothers that were barely 3 months old at that time. We never mourned his diagnosis; it provided access to resources and support to help him thrive. Kaleb’s first words were around 2nd grade, they were very, very rare, and only with proprioceptive input. Swings were a strong motivation, a source of comfort and a source of frustration when it’s not his turn. Sometimes he would just stare, or fixate on things such as spinning the wheels of a toy car. He flapped his arms and straightened his legs when he was excited. Kaleb was all smiles and giggles with he was happy.
Kaleb loved trampolines and swings all his life. At a young age, he loved our hammock net swing, or being wrapped up in the “cocoon” material type, swinging fast and rocking high. Kaleb loved to draw on his “Magna-Doodle;” we would buy new ones every couple of months when they wore out. As Kaleb grew older he played video games more often, and would loop music and YouTube videos on his phone. The beach at Rockport, MA was probably one of Kaleb’s favorite places. He really enjoyed walking around, feeling the wet sand between his toes.
Kaleb did not communicate effectively. And by effectively, I mean that he would often echo your words or often seem to answer questions the way he thought he should answer them, regardless of the communication path. He needed to be given choices in order to answer a question. He never initiated communication. He couldn’t tell us he was in pain. He couldn’t tell us what may have or may not have happened if he was hurt. It was extremely difficult to know what was going on with him.
Kaleb’s untimely death is devastating. He is survived by his mom McKenzie Field (Laurence Brightenfield Jr), dad Kristopher Paul, siblings Landon, Trevor, Madelyn and Alyson Paul, and step-brother Laurence Brightenfield III.
We will miss his smile, his giggles, his "happy bop," and his determination. Love you always, Kaleb.
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