Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Our time spent with Dorothea was always pleasant and memorable. She was a wonderful person and will surely be missed by all that knew her.   Dave and Dana Stewart

On behalf of my sisters and our families, thank you so much for taking time to come here today to help us celebrate the life of our mother, Dorothea Bassett.  We’d like to take a few minutes to tell you about Mom, and help you get to know her a little better.
Even those of you who’ve met her multiple times over the years probably feel like you didn’t know our mother very well.   She was a very private person.  She was extremely humble and didn’t like talking about herself. In particular, she didn’t share personal thoughts and feelings easily, even with us.
That’s not to say she was timid or meek. Far from it!  The wonderful staff here at Charlestown who cared for her so well during her last years can tell you – Mom was a strong and independent person.  At times, they probably wished she had been a little less independent!  She liked to be out and about, and refused to let the staff know where she was going, as residents in Assisted Living are supposed to do. She continually took off on her own, logging in many miles on her walker as she headed out to the store, church, beauty parlor, and even the pool.
I’ll never forget the day I got a call at work saying that Security had picked up my mom. Apparently she got tired of waiting for the shuttle and decided to take her walker (which has wheels, by the way) and head over to Giant on foot – down that huge hill!  She didn’t get too far before a nice man from Security picked her up and gave her a ride home, which ticked her off to no end.  
I’m sure she gave that poor guy a piece of her mind – as she did the police officer who showed up at her door a few years before when she was living in the independent apartments and still driving. On that occasion, she and Dad had just come home from a trip to the Glen Burnie Motor Vehicles Administration. Apparently she had tapped a car in the parking lot – with someone sitting in it – and didn’t take time to stop.  Luckily no one was hurt, but the officer tracked her down and came here to Charlestown to talk to her.  She wasn’t a bit apologetic, insisting that she didn’t hit the car that hard and asking if the officer planned to arrest an old woman and put her in jail for such a silly thing.  As her daughters, we definitely didn’t want to see Mom in the Big House – but we were hoping he would take away her license (so that we wouldn’t have to). The officer was a great sport, and tried hard to keep a straight face when he gave her a warning.
When she finally had to stop driving, she took it hard.  Right up until the week she died, Mom talked about getting a car, getting a part time job – and getting a dog.  She never gave up on life, and stayed interested and engaged in the world around her. She read the paper and watched the news (when she could get the remote to work) and had an opinion on everything.  That part of her personality really bloomed after Dad died.  Our father was a good man and a wonderful husband, but he wasn’t what you would call open minded.  He looked something like Walter Cronkite, and had that same voice of authority.  As we grew up, we tried (unsuccessfully) to argue politics with him, but she never did. In recent years she found her own voice, even voting for a Democrat once or twice!  
When we were growing up, Mom often talked about how smart our father was.  She was so proud of his career as a doctor – his service with the 82nd Airborne during WWII when he earned the Silver Star and Purple Heart, when he had his own practice attached to our home, and later when he went to work for Prudential, eventually becoming a Vice President there.  
As children, we also had our Dad up on a pedestal, but what we didn’t understand was that she was just as bright as he was. The youngest of four, Mom graduated from high school 75 years ago next month (wonder if anyone will show up at THAT reunion!!) and worked as a telephone switchboard operator for a year until she was old enough to go to nursing school.  But school was just the beginning of a lifelong curiosity and eagerness to learn new things. Every room in our house was lined with books, and like our father, she read voraciously – about everything.  She loved birds, for example – always had bird feeders and enjoyed watching them.  So she would read books to learn to identify the different species and understand their migration habits. I can remember vividly her excitement when she would see a flock of geese headed south on a crisp fall day.  She had books on plants and trees, sea shells, insects, dogs – and tons of books about hobbies like bridge and needlework – as well as every type of fiction.  
But she didn’t just sit around reading and knitting – our mother was a very active person when we were growing up and even in her later years.  She loved the ocean, and was an incredibly strong swimmer.  All three of us remember standing on the shore, watching her swim laps back and forth way out beyond the breakers, almost out of sight, making us a little nervous and sometimes causing the lifeguards to motion her in – and of course she didn’t listen to them, either!.  We have memories of her sailing and ice-skating.  She and our father bowled in a league for years, played tennis well into their 70’s, and took up golf in retirement.  When she couldn’t play anymore she still enjoyed watching both tennis and golf on TV as well as an occasional game of WII bowling in the activity room with the other residents. The weekend before she died she was looking for her bathing cap, planning a visit to the Charlestown pool.
We can’t tell you about our mother’s life without telling you about our father, who was the center of her life for over 60 years.  As many of you know, Dad was an intern at Englewood Hospital in New Jersey when a cute little red-headed nurse caught his eye.   They married soon after because he had joined the Army and was headed overseas.  Mom left her job and travelled with him to various Army bases while he was in training until he left for Europe. During the next few years they kept the post office busy – we know that because Mom saved all his letters and a few years ago we put them in a scrapbook – it’s a snapshot of the Greatest Generation – and an amazing love story.
Dad came home with a piece of shrapnel in his hip, ready to start his medical practice. Most importantly, he was ready to spend the rest of his life with the love of his life, and anxious to start a family.  They had three daughters and a successful medical practice when our oldest sister, Susan, was stricken with Leukemia.  Mom rarely spoke about Susan’s illness and death, but when I became a parent I often thought about how hard it must have been for her to lose her 10-year-old daughter. For a doctor and nurse who had helped so many people, they must have felt so helpless in the face of that terrible disease. 
With the love of family and friends surrounding them, Mom and Dad somehow picked themselves up and life went on. A few years later, God opened a window and surprised them with another child – they were in their 40s at the time.  Mom knitted blue, Dad painted blue, and along came another daughter, of course - our sister Marianne.   Mom’s blue knitting did work for the three of us by the way – we each had a boy first (to Mom’s great relief) and then a girl.  And along the way, Mom and Dad finally did have a son – their son-in-law Michael who helped them so much, especially after their move to Maryland. 
Mom greatly loved all six of her grandchildren and her grandchildren-in-law, and was healthy enough to dance at some of their weddings during the past few years. She loved a party! No one at Joe and Jen’s wedding will forget seeing Mom dancing to “Play that Funky Music.”  She had a ball, and so did everyone who watched her.  Two years ago, Mom was especially blessed to have a great-grandchild, Timothy, who she proclaimed the most beautiful baby in the world.  She spent this last Mother’s Day she spent the day with Timothy, who quickly warmed up to his great grandma, and even let her take a turn blowing bubbles.
If family was the focus of Mom’s life, her faith was the foundation. Her religion was very important to her, but Mom was never judgmental or preachy about it to others. She told us that she had stopped going to Mass when she was in nursing school, but when her mother died she went back to church and found that it filled an empty space in her life.  When we were cleaning out her room last week, we found rosaries in every drawer and a shelf filled with well-used bibles, missiles and other spiritual books.  Clearly her faith continued to sustain her throughout her life.
That faith was really tested four years ago when our father died.  As many of you know, Mom never did come to terms with that loss. She would often call us and ask if we had spoken to Dad, saying that he was there next to her in bed when she woke up, but that he had left without speaking.  She would head off on her walker searching for him. When we gently reminded her that he was up in heaven, she would roll her eyes and eventually agree just to placate us, but then we’d have the same conversation all over again the next day.  Her caregivers here at Charlestown were unbelievably patient and kind when she asked them over and over again where her husband was. One night she was especially distressed, completely convinced she had heard his voice coming from the room next door.  No matter what the aides said, nothing would dissuade or distract her. Finally, the caregiver unlocked the door of that empty room just so Mom could see for herself that he wasn’t there. Then she eventually calmed down and went to sleep.
It was really sad for all of us to say good bye to our mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother last week, but we found comfort in knowing that now she can finally relax and stop looking because Dad is right there with her, holding her in his arms.  And the timing is perfect – because today is his birthday – he would’ve been 94 years old. So we thank you for being with us today as we celebrate not one life, but two – and the incredible love they shared.

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Sterling-Ashton-Schwab-Witzke Funeral Home of Catonsville, Inc.

Dorothea Bassett

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Dorothea S Bassett

7 August, 1918 – 20 May, 2010

Sterling-Ashton-Schwab-Witzke Funeral Home of Catonsville, Inc.

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