Mr and Mrs Henk & Femmigje (Bergman) van Hemmen

Memorial Service Saturday, March 16, 2019

Fem van Hemmen was born Femmigje Bergman in Ruinen, in the province of Drente, the Netherlands on February 15, 1923. She was the second oldest of five children: sisters; Klassje (Tanta Klassje and Oom Jan Katerberg), Lutina (Tante Tina and Uncle Len VanderKwaak), Geertje (Aunti Grace and Uncle George), and her youngest brother Henk (Uncle Henk and Aunti Tina Bergman). Only Tanta Klassje, the oldest, survives mom.

Her father, Jan Lucas Bergman, having survived the First World War, the 1918 Spanish influenza, and having also survived smallpox, died of pneumonia when mom was eleven years old, upsetting the balance of a very happy and loving home. Her mother Harmina Bergman (Lubberts) about the same time, also contracted pneumonia but she recovered. Her mom was left to raise five children as a widow on a small acreage farm. As a result, the five children were thrust into early adulthood and independence. Mom would speak very fondly of her mother-a woman who although experiencing very tough times had a strong faith and determination to protect, support and strengthen her family and others.

Times remained tough as there was a great depression around the world and its impact was felt also in rural Drente. But her mom was known for her generosity and support of others in need. This was not lost on the Bergman children.

And world events once again interrupted their lives with the World War II Nazi invasion and occupation of Holland in 1939 until 1945. Mom would occasionally let us in on small pieces of her experiences of that time. Dutch people are known for their reserve when discussing hardships! She would mention carrying messages by bicycle to resistance contacts, of her mom sheltering people, including some soldiers, from the Nazis in their home, and sharing their farming bounty with starving folks who wandered out from the city in search of food and shelter. These were extraordinary times and the whole family participated in supporting the cause and caring for others while sometimes putting their own lives at great risk.

Even prior to 1939 mom was showing her adventuresome nature and of course, to support herself and help ease the burden on her mom. At 13 she started working for others taking care of elderly folks and at other times caring for young children. I think these experiences may have been the impetus for mom to go into nursing. In 1945 she entered Nursing school in Hoogeveen, graduating in 1949. Mom’s nursing concentration was in psychiatry, which made it very hard for us children to ‘mess’ with her! There she met lifelong friends during that training, including Anna van Haarten and Ans van Dregt. Now both experienced nurses, Ans would be the one that mom would immigrate to Canada with in 1952. Why, mom was the last of her family to leave Holland is unclear but mom said her plan was to come to Canada for one to two years, have an adventure, and then return to Holland. It did not work out like that.

They travelled together by boat- the De Grootebeer in August 1952 and like all immigrants arriving in Canada by boat were processed through Pier 21 in Halifax. (Little did mom know that her future husband Henk had already gone through the port in May of 1952 on the Reindam- but more on that later.) Mom had arranged for a nursing position in the Regina Hospital in Saskatchewan, but was appalled at what she observed were very primitive nursing practices. The administrator at the time told her that was exactly why they wanted European nurses- so they could improve nursing standards. Mom relished that task and was soon a leader amongst her nursing colleagues.

Mom and Ans then decided to move to Edmonton. The province had just built a new hospital with all the latest equipment and mom had an opportunity to get further training in Obstetrics. Besides, mom’s mom had arrived in Edmonton and was running a boarding home in the City.

Anecdote: Mom had been trained on managing an iron lung used for folks suffering from polio and paralysis. Few nurses in the area could run such a machine. The Mayor of Edmonton had fallen suddenly ill with polio and mom treated him and another person. The mayor lived but the other person died.

Mom first met Dad in the First Christian Reformed Church in Edmonton. Mom told me she never paid any attention to him as she was focused on her career and was not interested in marriage. Dad had other plans and he was helped by the fact that he lived at Mom’s boarding house. Dad also said that Mom’s mom was a matchmaker and she liked Henk!

All of the van Hemmen siblings know of the famous photo that shows Dad playing cards with a group of friends, including mom. They were using peanuts as chips. When mom is not looking Dad is stealing mom’s peanuts! He had on this self-satisfied, smiling, Cheshire cat grin. Dad said that was the spark and of course, he was persistent! They fell in love, and were married on November 12, 1954 in Edmonton.

They stayed in Edmonton until May 1955. Then in Dad’s ’48 Dodge (may have traded it in for a truck) they travelled to Terrace, BC in search of farmland. They stayed 9 months and dad built a 2 room house. Mom was pregnant at the time and tragedy soon hit the newlyweds. Our oldest sibling- named Johannes (after Mom’s Dad) was prematurely born in June, 1955. Terrace medical facilities were quite primitive at the time and mom would reflect that for want of an incubator, Johannes may have lived. Johannes lived for a few short hours, died and was cremated. This was a dark time in their lives. There is no grave and there was no ceremony at the time but later in the summer, mom recalled they went up the mountain by Terrace with nine other close friends and at around 7000 feet wrote his name on a rock in memory.

I find great comfort that mom is not only re-united in heaven with Dad but also with her first born, Johannes.

In March 1956, not having found any suitable farm to purchase in the Terrace area, mom and dad packed up, sold their two room house, loaded up dad’s new ’56 Dodge two tone blue push button automatic (that’s for you Dad- he loved cars!) and headed south. When they arrived in Hope, they sensed spring had already arrived. Their goal was Ontario if the Fraser Valley did not work out. Mom took one look at the Fraser Valley, smelled a hint of spring air and declared to Dad “We are staying. I refuse to drive to Ontario!” This might have had something to do with the obscenely treacherous road they had just taken down the canyon from the great snowy north!

Mom and Dad bought a farm in Matsqui. They set up their home. God was gracious and he blessed Mom and Dad with children: First, John Brian (December 10, 1956), then Shirley (no second name, December 6, 1956). Then on January 22, 1959, Charles Henry came along (Me!), but after 6 weeks in Matsqui, I was loaded up in a banana box (as mom would constantly remind me!), and we moved to Agassiz.

Dad had found a 50 acre farm along Hwy #9 and purchased it, and then told mom about it. Mom asked so what did the house look like. Dad was puzzled and said “I don’t know, I never even looked at the house.” Mom recalls she was very mad about this. Some would say furious but as a loving wife, she accepted the reality and went about making a warm loving home out of the house.

Not long after, Harry Jan was born in June 14, 1960 and the family was complete. The next many years were filled with farming, family, church and school. Mom was the glue that bound us together. She used to comment that she taught Dad everything he knew about raising a family. Whether that was true or not, I will say they were truly partners in life. They loved one another!

Mom also had a way of getting a child’s attention. I don’t know if this was the experience of my siblings , but if I was sassing off, mom would gently take my hand and before I knew it would squeeze on my knuckles until I was on my knees in submission. I was never in doubt as to who the boss was!

She used her nursing psychiatry skills on us as well. One Saturday morning she convinced Harry and I that if we cut off the corner of an envelope, filled it with salt, and could sprinkle the salt on a birds tail we would catch the bird! Well, that got Harry and I out of the house for the entire morning. She was not above being sneaky with us!

Mom had an entrepreneurial bent. She started up our roadside fruit and vegetable stand – which her children called “hard labour,” because we would man the booth through the summer, selling strawberries and vegetables from our own massive half acre garden and much larger orchard. But Mom always shared the profits with us and the pooled money helped buy our first tent trailer which we used for our annual one week vacations to the Okanagan.

Mom was handy too. She took to the skill saw, and made us all bedroom desks, encouraging us to do our best at school.

Mom was a consummate ‘green thumb,’ and every plant, shrub, or tree that she came across flourished in her care. She often gathered up small seedlings and plants (perhaps some she should not have gathered!) on their many travels, just to “see how they would grow, and to learn what was inside those little seeds,” she would say. Her garden and flowerbeds were always full of beautiful colour and organization.

Mom was a great cook and baker and these talents intersected with her green thumb. Each year for the annual high school bake sale, mom would make a lemon meringue pie. Funny thing though: the pie never, ever got to the sale table. When the pie would arrive at school the teachers immediately squirreled it away in the staff room as their own dessert. Mom was asked how she made that pie taste so good. Her reply was fresh lemons. You see, she had grown an indoor lemon tree from seed and would pluck one just to make those pies.

Mom and Dad always seemed to know when to make the next move to address their health and stage in life. Dad finished farming around 1976, but they stayed in the new house they had built on the farm until 1986. They then moved to Portage Ave, followed by Quarry Road both in Chilliwack and they slowly downsized. These were times when Mom and Dad travelled and really enjoyed life free from the constraints and burdens of farming.

In November 2002 they moved to Elim Village, a new Christian community in Surrey. They loved the people and the experience of community. Mom and Dad were truly content in that environment and we thank Elim Village for what it has meant to Mom and Dad.

Dad, after several medical emergencies, succumbed and went to be with the Lord in December 2, 2008. For several years mom had done what she was always trained to do -nurse Dad and be his loving wife. She devoted herself to dad’s care until it was just too much and she was at risk of also becoming a patient.

Dad’s death understandably impacted mom deeply. After all, they were married for 54 years, and hardly a day of those 54 years were they apart. It was a marriage of partnership. They both complemented their strengths and weaknesses. The two together were greater than the sum of the parts.

Mom stayed at Elim for a number of years aided in no small part by the support of the people in that great community. However, the loss of Dad was never really overcome.

Eventually, Mom’s health reached a state where she entered Kinsmen Lodge in Surrey. From her room there she continued to be the nurse. She nursed other residents, conferred with the staff on nursing and resident care matters and had an opinion on all things relating to resident health and nursing practices.

From her bedside, she enjoyed the family visits from friends, her children, and her grandchildren: Michael, Emily, David, Bryann, Jonathon, Cayley, Cameron, Taryn and Avril, and especially the ones she referred to as “the little ones”- her seven great grandchildren-Levi, Abigail, Silas, Oliver, Lucas, Gracie and Lydia. It did not matter if her short term memory got shorter and her long term memory got longer, when the little ones were around all was well in her world.

Mom’s faith was deep and reflective. She would often ponder her own purpose in the remaining years of her life while waiting to rejoin Dad. She saw her Kinsmen lodge home as a mission field where she could do what she did best and that was to help others.

The Monday prior to her passing Teresa and I were visiting mom. At some point she lay back in her bed after refusing any more soup, and said firmly and gently “pray for me”. We did. Then I read to her her favorite Psalms: 103, 139 and 23. After I finished reading she pulled me toward herself and whispered “for a moment I thought I could see Jesus”. She lay back and went to sleep.

In the afternoon of Thursday, February 21, 2018, at the age of 96, mom was received into the loving arms of her Savior and re-united with Dad in heaven. She is at peace and we miss her.

Eulogy for Hendrik Anthonie van Hemmen February 17, 1919- December 2, 2008

There was cause for celebration February 17, 1919 on the farm in Bedum, Province of Groningen, The Netherlands when Johannes and Sietje van Hemmen's son Hendrik Antonie was born. Henk was their third child and the youngest of three sons. When Henk was 12 years old the family moved to a new farm in Thesinge. This would be his home for his remaining years in Holland. Henk worked the farm with his older brother Jan for several years before that most natural of inclinations-brotherly disagreement- took hold and persuaded Henk to embark on a new adventure in a new land- Canada- where all things could be new beginnings. Little did he know how this decision changes the course of generations to come!

Boarding the ocean vessel Reindam in May of 1952 he landed in Halifax Pier 21. After a lengthy train ride to Edmonton (by Holland standards!) Henk arrived at his sponsor farmer's home. Through the next few years Henk worked at many jobs in the Edmonton area. He worked as a farm field man, city worker, gardener, sewer line worker, and oil tank cleaner! Unbeknownst to Henk, God was arranging his life to meet his future wife, Femmigje Bergman. Henk wound up living at his future mother-in-law's boarding home and meeting was inevitable. History shows Fem quickly fell for this fun loving scoundrel during card games where Henk would steal and eat Fem's card chips which were actually peanuts! They were married in Edmonton at the First Christian Reformed Church on November 12, 1954.

With his dream of owning his own farm still much on his mind, Henk and Fem left Edmonton in a 1948 Dodge (Henk loved cars!) and headed to Terrace, BC. The stay was short. The farming opportunities limited. So sawmilling work and building a two room home occupied much of Henk and Fem's time. In the spring of 1956 (this time with a new 1956 Dodge) they headed south to Hope. It was at Hope another momentous decision was made. Henk realized at this time of year the snow was almost gone from the Fraser Valley unlike the fields of Ontario where he had originally planned to farm. So the decision to head west not east, was made.

They purchased a small farm in Matsqui and stayed two and half years. John, Shirley and Charles were born there before Henk decided a bigger farm with room to grow was required. So they moved once again, this time to Agassiz where their youngest son Harry was born. Henk and Fem farmed and raised their family in Agassiz for 17 years. They attended the First Christian Reformed Church in Chilliwack. He retired in 1976, built a house on the property, rented out the land and began one long and unexpected (his words!) retirement period. In 1986 Henk and Fem moved to Chilliwack to be closer to friends and church. In 2002 they realized advancing age and the need to be closer to family so they moved to a wonderful retirement community in Surrey called Elim Village. Henk and Fem settled into the community until this spring when illness resulted in Henk being hospitalized. From his hospital bed Henk would regale visitors with stories of his life. His mind was sharp until the end. Henk went to be with the Lord in the presence of his loving wife, Fem and his oldest son John the morning of December 2, 2008. Henk is survived by his loving wife Fem, his 4 children and 9 wonderful grandchildren. He will be greatly missed.

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Femmigje (Fem) van Hemmen, nee Bergman, of Surrey, B.C. passed away peacefully on February 21, 2019 in Surrey Kinsmen Lodge having lived to the full old age of 96. Fem was a believer in Jesus Christ and is now in a better place, with her Father in heaven, rejoined also with her late husband, Henk who passed away December 2, 2008.

Fem was always the nurse and helper to all who needed her. She exemplified strength and carried her responsibility and personal calling to care for others in very practical and dutch-minded ways, where ever she was. Born the second of five children, mom suffered the loss of her father at age 11, went through the scarcities of the great depression and the trauma of World War II in occupied Netherlands. These experiences, which can cripple many, made her stronger in spirit. She was determined and purposeful, receiving nursing training in Netherlands, and later left for Canada to work in Regina and Edmonton hospitals showing local nurses new European nursing methods. She met the love of her life in Edmonton, Henk van Hemmen, and they were married at the Edmonton Second Christian Reformed Church on November 12, 1954.

Dreaming of owning their own farm they ventured to Terrace, BC but not finding suitable farm land to purchase they eventually ended up farming in Agassiz, BC. There they raised their family of four children and after retiring in 1976 lived on the farm in a new home until moving to Chilliwack. Each move they made was done in anticipation of their family and health needs.

Mom was a consummate ‘green thumb’ and every living plant, shrub or tree that she came across flourished. She often gathered up small seedlings and plants on their many travels just to see how they would grow, she would say. Her garden and flower beds were always full of colour and life.

Later, free from the constraints farming life, Mom and Dad enjoyed the more relaxed pace and freedom to visit and travel for many years.

In their later years mom and dad moved to Elim Village in Surrey and enjoyed the fellowship of that tight knit and loving Christian community. Eventually, mom needed more care and went to Kinsmen Lodge where despite her own needs, would continue to nurse and consult on resident care with residents and staff alike. Mom’s servant heart and practical help will be long remembered by many.

Fem is survived by her four children: John, Shirley (Palmer) Charles and Harry; nine grandchildren and seven great grandchildren. Her death will leave a void in the lives of those who knew and loved her.

The interment will be at Chilliwack Little Mountain Cemetery 10:00am in Chilliwack, BC Saturday, March 16, 2019.

A Memorial Service is to follow at 11:00am at Woodlawn Mt. Cheam Funeral Home 45865 Hocking Ave. Chilliwack, BC. An informal reception to follow at the same location.

The van Hemmen family would like to thank all the staff at Kinsmen Lodge in Surrey for their kindness and support throughout Fem’s last few years.

No flowers or gifts please.