Thomas Daniel Humphreys

Tom was known for many things, among them was his insightful advice, (“Keep your head down, eyes open and your mouth shut”, “You can never have too many napkins”, “If at first it doesn’t fit, get a bigger hammer”), his over the top compliments, (“If you were any prettier I’d have to put a fence around you”), and his entertaining similes and metaphors, (“It’s darker than 3 feet down a cows throat out here” “It’s so quiet I could hear a mouse piss on a cotton ball”, “I could sure use a drink, I’m drier than a popcorn fart”, “That guy has more problems than Nixon”).

Tom was raised on a farm in a foster home in Strongsville, Ohio. He dropped out of school in the 11th grade and joined the Army in 1959 where he proudly served in the 101st Airborne as a US Paratrooper. After his service, he returned to high school in 1961 where he met his future wife, Joanne, and he graduated at the age of 25.

Tom earned his apprenticeship in tool and die making and moved his family to Chicago where they lived for 5 years. After the birth of their third child, Tom and his wife decided to take in foster children. They welcomed over 35 children into their homes over the years. Tom moved his family to Columbus in 1976.

Tom was very active well into his 80’s. He played in various softball leagues until he was 75 and kept a gym membership until he was 82. He served for many years as a Mason with the Grand Lodge of Ohio. He loved his family, cats, being a Paratrooper, pretty girls, flirting, nice tools, laughing, and a home cooked meal. He loved to teach people new things and was a very patient instructor. (“Don’t ever pass up an opportunity to learn something new.”) He was a reluctant Cleveland Indians and Browns fan, (“You don’t know disappointment until you’re a Cleveland fan” “Cleveland fans are disappointed if they’re not disappointed”).

Tom will be remembered for his kind and friendly nature, his funny one-liners, his 100 watt smile, his laugh, and his gentle spirit.

He was preceded in death by his “pretty Fweety”, Joanne Humphreys, who passed away in 1998.

Tom is survived by his children, Debra/Punkin Burke (Bryan), David/Big Dave Humphreys (Sandra), Jennifer/Peanut O’Keefe (Steve), Shawn Humphreys (Tabitha); and grandchildren: Lee/My Man, Matthew/MattMan, Jesse, Jamie/Bear, Drew/Boo, Alyshia, Peyton/Peytie Pie, Claire, Isaiah, Andy, James, Tobias, and Jade.

Thank you to all of the kind and loving caregivers at the Springfield Masonic Home who took such great care of Tom in his final years.

Family and friends are welcome to attend a memorial service on December 20, 2023 at the Grace Crossing Church, 1553 Beaver Valley Rd, Beavercreek, Ohio, 6pm.

Cremation services were entrusted to Advantage by Schoedinger - North.