Jean Dick

A warm welcome to all of you who are gathered. We appreciate receiving your time and love in sharing these memories with our family today. We appreciate your presence at this tribute to a remarkable woman, our mother, Jean Dick.

Let us share some of the elements that influenced who Mum became; Mum was born in the depression and experienced war as a child, endured both food rationing and the need to carry a gas mask with her each day to school. Her father died tragically when Mum was at the age of two. She was raised in a female household by her mother who was practicing medicine and lived down the road from several strong and devoted missionary aunts. Mum cared deeply for her younger sister Joy, a connection that continued through their lives. She attended the local high school around the corner, met Dad, and fell in love only to have our father climb aboard an ocean-carrier with no promise they would meet again … however … there were many love letters sent over the three years carefully preserved by Dad but secreted away from prying eyes. And while we promised we would never read them, I can share that many of them contained flattering photos of Mum to remind him of what he was missing.

When Dad came to his senses and proposed, without hesitation Mum said yes and left everything and everyone she had ever known to be with and to follow our Dad. A new life begun in the wilds of Port Author (now Thunder Bay) then Kingston, then Ottawa. They spent a time in Burlington and Saskatoon and finally Midland. Midland became a place they felt was home and she remained here for almost thirty years making it the longest place they had ever lived anywhere. It became a place that we all loved to visit and we made many wonderful memories here.

Our mother was insightful, practical, generous, and probably the most loving and forgiving human being to walk this earth. She was bright and accomplished in school. More importantly she possessed the intelligence that comes from a life well lived and reflected upon. Nothing was an accident in her world. She had patience and a positive attitude, and enough of each to love our father in a way anyone who has ever married would envy.

Our Dad showed us the world, but our Mum taught us to view people without judgement and always as equal. She sacrificed herself and dedicated her life to others and in particular my siblings and I, so that we could have lives full of privileges. Mum taught us that we must live our lives in ways that make the world a better place. To be charitable and grateful. She took us to church every Sunday. She taught us to laugh and enjoy simple pleasures, like flowers and birds, good food and quiet moments. She taught us the best gift we can give others is the gift of ourselves. Everything our mother did was with love. I can’t emphasize that enough. She would thoughtfully listen and respond. She had an inner strength that is unmatched, and an unquenchable spirit and joy for life.

Mum would often say that she never worked. She thought, somehow, that she had contributed less to life or the world or our family. She would say she was “only a housewife”. But I’ve never known anyone who worked harder than she worked and truthfully, she never retired. She worked hard at caring for her family, preparing healthy meals on a shoestring budget, three times a day. She kept our home tidy and organized and paid the bills, managing all of the family finances. Somehow, she managed to stretch the money to grant all our wishes, and generously supported each of us so that we could go on to have successful lives and pursue higher education goals.

In addition, Mum worked hard at creating adventures, hobbies, and memories. She gave of her time willingly to various organizations volunteering as a swim instructor at the Y, driving elderly people to their appointments, active in every church she was a member; she simply took care of everyone else. If there was anything she didn’t over-do it was taking care of herself. She put herself last. And yet, she lived to 90… what a glorious and impressive accomplishment. She herself reminded me at times when I might be sad or worried for her health that she had a good and long life and was at peace. She always thought of and comforted others even when besieged with her own difficulties.

So let me share with you what it was like to be raised by this remarkable woman. First, Mum was Scottish. Personally, as a small child I had no idea we were Scottish. I had no idea our Mum had an accent though others would comment on it and ask where she was from. I certainly got a surprise when I finally went to school and used words from the Scots Dialect like, foosty or bumful or wee scunner and idjit or blether or wheest. I was often told to “haud my wheest” when I would talk on too long. Other kids laughed at this and supposed the words to have been made up.

We were given lots of space and independence, each having our own room which was remarkable in itself for a family of our size. Mine was a mess, but if I kept my door closed no one minded and Mum let me be. Mum let us each be who we were. She never got in the way or tried to change us but instead encouraged us to follow that which inspired us. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a free for all. Mum gave us structure and was the root. There were lots of expectations about what it meant to be a good person in the world. She made sure we believed if we strayed that somehow her heart would break in two. And trust me …. Some of us, me possibly more than the others, tested that theory.

Her love however was unfailing. She would dust us off, forgive transgressions, and set us back out to face the world and new adventures. She later told me when I was becoming a mother myself that was one of her secrets; to appear fragile but in truth to be unbreakable. Kindness and gentleness were her defense and her strength.

Mum was strong. Strong in spirit, strong in mind, strong in body. And her talents seemed limitless. She could make candles and macramé, pottery, mosaics and stain glass; Mum knit almost every sweater I owned and sewed a majority of my clothes including swimsuits. She could grow vegetables like a pro and cross-stitched beautifully.

Mum was an athlete in high school and could still swim circles around me in the pool at age 70. Some of you may be aware that while she was raising her four children in Ottawa Dad was down at Queens completing his Ph.D., she was effectively a single mother of four for a while, but she just simply made things work then and always and she made it look easy although am sure it was not.

Mum was strength personified.

When we would come home from school Mum was never idle; there was no time ever wasted. Albeit she and I always made time for her two favourite television soap operas, “All My Children” and “Another World” but while watching she would iron or knit or paid the bills or some other helpful tasks. It was the only TV she ever enjoyed, besides Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Mum was brilliant at those game shows because Mum was quite simply brilliant. She won academic awards in high school and graduated tops in Chemistry at University. We all knew she could easily conquer Dad in most arguments and finished every cryptic crossword well before him without fail. Her mind was a busy bright place from which came the very best advice about life. I was never allowed to get lost in myself and she gave me the gift of seeing my gift to lead. She signed me up for the leader corps at the Y.M.C.A. when I was 12 which began a life-long path that gave me joy and purpose. The rest as they say is history.

She gave Marion the love of plants and gardens; Caroline the love of cooking and family; and John the love of hymns and debate.

Mum also taught me her axioms which I have often shared with others:

· beautiful is who we are and not what we are

· sexy is an attitude not an outfit

· a bright mind never gets bored

· no one can take advantage of you when your heart is joyful in giving

· give with no expectation in return

Many of my sweet memories of Mum are in the last stages of her life when she was frail and a little distant at times. I never for a moment thought her mind was quiet. She never really knew what it meant to rest. But it was in those moments I could finally give Mum the love she needed and deserved without her fighting me about it. To finally be of service to her in the way she had been to each of us for our whole lives through her unwavering devotion to motherhood. I was finally able to help her without her complaining that I am doing too much, and I shouldn’t be doing these things for her. Let me set the record straight Mum, I would have done anything for you always with a joy-filled heart.

Mum was a dignified person who held a solemn belief that life’s purpose was service. Her children by her example are all servants as well in some capacity. She was a faithful Christian and loved without condition. That could be irritating when I was mad as a child, but rather than leaving me to sour, moments later Mum would ask in a sing-song voice “Would you like a snack now?” We were never allowed to go to bed angry.

Mum was pure love. It holds true that Love is the main theme in this tribute to her. She loved well and was loved dearly in return.

There was a Mum before me and a Mum with me and a Mum after I left her home. Now there is a me but after Mum... this grief will forever change me. Mum’s absence is keenly felt but I know she lives on.

God provided for Mum as she transitioned from her marital home to Tiffin House in Midland Ontario, and lastly to a room in long term care at Hillsdale Terrace in Oshawa Ontario. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to our caregivers -- truly amazing people who embraced and somehow understood what a special person she was. God has been gracious.

I end with the prayer she taught me to say each night as I crawled into bed.

"Thank you for the world so sweet, thank you for the food we eat, thank you for the birds that sing, thank you God for everything. God bless Mum, Dad, Marion, Caroline and John"

I should also add our cat Sparky to the blessings. Sparky could be a loveable tyrant at times, but those stories are now long ago.

- This Eulogy for Marion Jean (Prentice) Dick was spoken by Aileen Margot Fletcher at a memorial service held at St. Paul’s United Church, Midland, Ontario on December 6, 2022.

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DICK, Marion Jean

Marion Jean Dick was a caring wife, mother, grandmother, sister, and friend. She left this world suddenly but in perfect peace in her sleep, on November 27, 2022 at age 90.

Jean was born to two Scottish doctors, Thomas and Marion Prentice, in Chacewater, Cornwall, England. Her father suddenly passed away when she was 2 years old and her mother returned home to Motherwell, Scotland with Jean and her new sister, Joy. In high school Jean played field hockey and won the science prize then went on to study Chemistry at Glasgow University. As a young woman Jean married Dr. T. Milne Dick, also from Motherwell, Scotland. They had a honeymoon in Paris and immigrated to Canada to raise a family of four. Jean was an exceedingly giving mother who loved well. She had a servant’s heart and met the needs of her family faithfully. She gave time to others without a second thought; she loved her church, and volunteering. She was also a dedicated and experimental cook with a large repertoire and made the best soup ever made in all of history.

While there is a beautiful mystery even in the ones we love most, there were certainties with Jean too: she loved the quiet gentle hours. Whether at a large window reading the morning paper beside a steaming black coffee with sunlight streaming through the golden sheers; or on a rocky beach, barefoot, with pants rolled up to her knees, paddling in the waves, and searching for the most beautiful shells or stones; or quietly knitting a sweater in the evening in her favourite armchair beneath the gentle glow of lamp. Quiet by nature, Jean was a gentle loving soul filled with peace and beauty. There was perhaps nothing that brought Jean more personal joy than gardens and woodlands, and simply being in nature. On a woodsy hike Jean would greet the trees and plants and call out their names as though they were old friends. She looked most at peace when beneath the flickering shade of a maple; or while clipping a lilac bush in the spring; or absorbing the delight of a fresh patch of forget-me-nots in bloom. It all delighted her. Jean loved creation.

Jean also loved her husband and children unfailingly and was loved by them in return. She gave comfort to all she met. She never put her own needs first, but instead attended to the needs of others. She believed in service. She was always sincere, very private, and uniquely stubborn at times - notably when you tried to help her.

Jean is survived by her children, Marion Langford, Caroline (Michael) Underhill, John Dick and Aileen (Greg) Fletcher and her grandchildren, Elizabeth, Thomas, Adam, Ainsley, Matthew (Jessie) and great-grandchild, Tully Underhill.

There will be a funeral service at St. Paul’s United Church, Midland Ontario, on December 6, 2022 at 11 A.M. Visitation will be available prior to the service at 10 am. In lieu of flowers please consider a donation tohopefordementia.org or alzheimer.ca/on/en. The service will be broadcast live on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@st.paulsunitedchurch-midla2988