I remember Grace, Ralph and her parents living in Pueo Camp, Kapaa, Kauai.  The location of the camp is right at the roundabout in Kapaa on the southern, so-called by-pass route to Wailua.   Ralph was a few years younger than us.   Grace was my school mate from grade school through Kapaa High School, class of 1954.

We are saddened for your loss of Grace.   It is unfortunate we were unable to see Grace and John at any of our high school class of 1954 reunions.  

Richard Mukai. Sunnyvale, CA 
mukairv@sbcglobal.net

As I think about my mom, I marvel at how much she has meant to you or what an impact she made on you at some time in your life.  Through her work and her personality and her mannerisms, she left something special in your memory as Grace or Mrs. Selbe or Gracie or Aunt Grace or Grandma Grace...or Mom.  She was so special to so many people.  Hopefully now, you are remembering--and won't forget--that once upon a time, she was a daily or weekly fixture for you, whether you worked with her at Oak Park Elementary, or you were one of its students and you stepped into her library once a week and she cheered you on at the science fair and she herded you onto your bus after school, or you served with her at Tierrasanta Christian Church or University Christian Church.  And for many of you, she was family.  She was a mom, a grandmother.  She laughed and she tickled and she made sushi and she talked to you and she showed interest in who you were and what you were doing and she always wanted you to do and feel your best.  She was Grace.   And her name was perfectly suited for her.  She was one-of-a-kind and SO beautiful.  As Alan Jackson (who sang her last beloved hymn, Blessed Assurance, to her as she moved on to her much better place) would say, keep your memories of her in your mental files, pull one out every now and then, and smile when you think of her.  

I have been poring over pictures and talking to old friends and colleagues of Mom’s:  Ann Bramble, Jeannette Vaughn, Mick Rabin, Karen Hunt, Judith Ernst.  Seeing pictures of her before Dad went into the hospital in 2012 brought back so many memories and reminded me of who my mom was.  Mom was beautiful, full of life, and a force of nature!  Mom was vibrant—from her love of the color red, her classical music and musical soundtracks that she blasted through the house, her adventure movies of Harry Potter and Indiana Jones and Star Trek and Star Wars that she constantly replayed on the TV, her clothes full of bright colors and flowers and hummingbirds, and her fun, dangling earrings to her laugh, her silliness with her grandkids, her determination, and her indignation at any injustice, complete with choice words and stony glare and arms folded—and pictures and friends have now reminded me of this larger-than-life mom whom I had throughout my life and whom I have missed for so long.  In 2013, when she couldn’t laugh at her granddaughter’s antics, I knew the mom that I had always known was gone and someone familiar yet new was in her place.  I got used to her, came to look at her fondly and lovingly…and in the process, I lost track of the mom that I had always known.  Now, I am rediscovering her, realizing that she really is back and with my dad, realizing how much I have missed her, and how much I did not fully appreciate her when she was here.  Ironically, to get her back, I have had to let her go…and now, hopefully with these words in print, I can make sure that she hears me and knows how much I love her, treasure her, appreciate her.  I want to honor her memory and make sure that she lives on in yours, too.  Don’t do what I did and lose sight of how amazing she was, what a powerhouse she was, and what a positive impact she had on everyone around her.

OBITUARY

Grace Natsuko Selbe

11 August, 1936 – 4 January, 2020

El Cajon Mortuary and Cremation Service

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