Bernard Herman Oetjen

Bernard H. Oetjen passed away on January 16, 2026, at the age of 96. He was the only child of John and Agnes Oetjen born on August 28, 1929, in St. Louis, Missouri and grew up in House Springs, Missouri.

After graduating from high school in 1948, he moved to St. Louis where he worked and attended night school at St. Louis University (SLU) majoring in accounting. In 1951, he began his career with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). He received an associate degree in 1952.

He then entered the U.S. Army where he met Louise Brune. They were married in 1953. Upon discharge from the Army in June 1954, he returned to the IRS in St. Louis. After working several years as an Internal Revenue Agent, he transferred to the Appeals Division.

In 1962 (when he and Louise had five children), he returned to night school at SLU. He received a BS degree in accounting in 1965. He then went to Law School at SLU. He was promoted to the Head of the Appeals Office in Kansas City, Missouri. He then continued in law school at the University of Missouri at Kansas City (UMKC) and received a Juris Doctorate degree in 1970.

In 1972, he was promoted to a position with the IRS in Washington, DC where he worked until retirement in 1980. After retirement he remained active as a tax consultant with a small clientele and other part-time consulting jobs. He was the financial secretary for a large (more than 1,500 members) Knights of Columbus Council in Arlington for more than 15 years.

He is survived by: his loving wife of 73 years, Louise Oetjen; five children: Jeffrey (Cheryl), Deborah (Albert), Michael (Stephanie), Gregory (Susan), Valerie (Ken); 12 grandchildren: Mark (Courtney), Michael (Sarah), A.G. (Olivia), Steven, Brian (Michelle), David, Christine (Andrew), Emily (Chris), Andrew, Max (Kelly), Tim, and Hannah, and 15 great grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his oldest child, Pamela, and a grandson, Eric.

In retirement, he loved spending time with family, gardening and playing bridge. He was fortunate enough that his children and many of his grandchildren live within an hour, allowing all to easily get together for holidays, birthdays and other family occasions. For the past 30 years, many of the family would also vacation together at various beaches and lakes.

He meticulously did his own landscaping, mowing his yard into his 80’s. He often commented how he did a better job than the professionals he hired in later years. He had a garden every summer, growing tomatoes, green beans, cucumbers, squash, lettuce, etc. Very rarely would he have to buy vegetables during the summer, and generally had enough to share with his children.

Bernie loved games, particularly bridge, owning and directing several games for decades, and, as a player, he attained the rank of Sapphire Life Master. For the past several years, he would send his daily Wordle score to several of his children (usually before 6 a.m.), and they would respond in kind.

Bernie, along with Louise, was a devoted member at St John the Beloved Catholic Church. They attended daily mass, prayed the rosary, participated in other weekly services and managed the Sunday collection receipts for many years. He will be remembered as a man of deep faith, strong morals with an analytical mind and good humor which never faltered up until the very end.

A Celebration of Life Visitation will be held at Murphy Funeral Home, located at 1102 West Broad Street, Falls Church, VA, 22046, on January 21, 2026, from 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm.

The Mass of Christian Burial is scheduled for January 22, 2026, from 11:00 am to 12:00 pm at St. John the Beloved Catholic Church, located at 6420 Linway Terrace, McLean, VA, 22101.

Interment will follow at Fairfax Memorial Park, located at 9900 Braddock Rd, Fairfax, VA, 22032, on January 22, 2026, from 1:00 pm to 1:30 pm.