Margaret Louise Hayes

Margaret Louise Hayes was born in San Jose, California and died peacefully in her sleep at her home in Potomac Falls, Virginia on Wednesday, June 26, 2019. Louise was married to the love of her life, Thomas L. Hayes on June 2, 1941. Together they raised five daughters while they traveled the world, serving in the Air Force. Her many hobbies included cooking, making porcelain dolls, quilting, hooking rugs, knitting, and travelling, but above all, she loved playing bridge.

Losing Tommy on July 26, 2008 was not easy for Louise. She said it took her three years to really recover from his death. However, despite her grief, she continued to engage with her friends, resumed playing bridge, and traveled to Europe.

You may have known Louise only as a refined, elderly widow who loved her family and enjoyed being with her friends. But there was so much more. She was a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, friend, artist, and genealogist.

Louise often reminisced about the good times while growing up. She spent lots of time at Edenvale and the Millipedes ranch in California, as well as at the house in Salem, the farm at Lake Labish and the house in Portland, Oregon. As a little girl at Edenvale, she remembers how scary it was to run down the long hall from the E.A. Hayes wing, past the empty Mary Hayes Chynoweth wing, to safely reach the J.O. Hayes wing and her cousins. She had to hurry because she hated hearing the heavy metal fire doors slam shut while she was still in the hall. She played with her siblings and numerous first and second cousins. She remembers them all sleeping out on the screen porch over the porte cochere on the main wing.

As a teenager, Louise almost rolled the car. She was annoyed because she was forced to let some woman ride with her when she went to pick up her sister, Josephine, from camp. Louise suspected that this woman only wanted to go for the ride because she was hoping for an opportunity to hit on her handsome father. Given these circumstances, Louise decided to give this person “the ride of her life.” She accelerated over a hill and RR track as fast as she could; the car launched into the air, then landed on its nose, perpendicular to the road. It balanced precariously for several seconds, then thankfully fell back on all four wheels with no one injured. She then proceeded to drive the rest of the way as if nothing had happened. I don’t think that woman ever rode with Louise again.

Louise and Tommy met at the Kappa Alpha Theta house at Oregon State. Tommy was a handsome houseboy who worked at the Theta house to pay his way through college. When Louise Hayes arrived for ‘Rush Week’ when she first arrived at OSU, some of the Thetas asked Tommy if he was related to this pretty Hayes rushee. Tommy was indeed curious about this unknown Hayes girl and watched for her. After Louise pledged Theta, Tommy met Louise, and both were smitten. They married on June 2, 1941 and stayed devoted to each other for 67 years.

Louise grew up as a strong and independent woman, waaaaay before ‘feminism’ was popular.

In the middle of WW2, her husband having just returned to California from the Pacific, was ordered to go temporarily to Tonopah Army Air Field. Tonopah was far away in the middle of nowheresville Nevada. Tommy was part of an elite group selected to prepare a fighter group of P-51’s for battle in Europe. Since Tommy had just come home from the war and would soon be returning to the front again, Louise didn’t want Tommy to be away from her if she could help it. Instead of dutifully staying in California, she picked up her baby, packed her bags, and drove (along with a friend) to Nevada to be with her husband.

An intercontinental trip in the early 1950’s really shows just how strong she was. It started when Tommy was ordered to report to Paris, leaving Louise behind in Falls Church, VA by herself to care for their four daughters (including an infant) and a dog. She handled all the arrangements to move back to Portland to be with her parents. This included finding a renter for the house as well as packing and storing all their household goods. After all the furniture was safely in storage, she had to live in the now empty house with all those kids and the dog. The Army Air Corps saved the day and delivered army cots for all. After all the tasks in Falls Church were addressed, Louise took her brood (still 3 kids, one infant and the dog) on the train back across the country to Portland to be with her family until she could be with Tommy again. One of her daughters remembers that during the trip, Louise had to leave her kids behind on the train and take the dog outside whenever he needed to “take care of himself.” This daughter remembers worrying every time she stepped off the train about what they would do if their mother didn’t make it back on board before their train pulled out of the station. Once they reached Portland, Louise had to enroll the children (but not the infant or the dog) in school.

When the Army Air Corps gave the green light for Louise and the kids (and the dog) to join Tommy in Paris, she had to travel back across the continent (again, with that infant, three kids but sans dog, who was shipped separately) by train to the port on the east coast where their ship, the MSTS General Rose, awaited them.

Now all she had to do was to cross the North Atlantic on a military ship (with the same three children plus that infant) to reach Tommy. Uh oh! Rough seas ahead! Their cabin was furnished with a metal crib, luckily chained to the floor. The crib kept banging against the wall as the ship rolled with the ocean’s punches. This didn’t bother the infant a bit, but it sure kept Louise awake. In addition, everyone on board got seasick (not just the Hayes family). Other passengers on board recalled, “we rolled and pitched, and I seriously thought the ship was sinking” (perhaps channeling the Titanic?) And then the Hayes’s got the flu. There was no room service, so a queasy Louise had to figure out how to get food from the dining room back to the sick kids. When the MSTS General Rose finally reached France, she was greeted at the port by an excited and happy Tommy. All were glad to be together again, and Louise gratefully shifted the burden of traveling with those three (now greenish kids), plus that infant, over to Tommy’s strong and welcoming shoulders. However, one last thing: Louise still was responsible for getting the kids enrolled in yet another school, this time in a foreign country. Poor kids, three schools, two states, two countries, all within a year.

QUILTS

Louise discovered quilting in the 1970’s. The first quilt she made for a grandchild was entirely made by hand. This child was fascinated with the individual little quilting stitches and would repeatedly pick out the stitches, one by one, every time the stitches were repaired. Note that all subsequent quilts she made for the grandchildren were machine quilted.

When a grandson was hospitalized with meningitis, his Grandma rushed to his side, taking along her latest quilt project to work on while she sat by his bedside. A nurse at his room door reminded Grandma that anything that went into the grandson’s contaminated room had to be destroyed when it

was removed. Grandma decided she didn’t need to work on her quilt by his bedside after all, and instead chose to stay with him. The quilting could wait until later.

You can’t imagine how much quilt fabric Louise had! And no matter how much fabric she had, she always needed more. She would find a fabric that was just a shade different than anything she had. Tommy built so many shelves in the garage and closets, all bulging with beautiful quilt fabrics.

CHRISTMAS

Christmas was always very special. Over the years, Louise made so many wonderful Christmas decorations for her brood, including tree skirts, ornaments for the tree, Christmas stockings, little Santa and Mrs. Claus “goodie bags” to hang a special little gift on the tree, wreaths, and advent calendars.

One Christmas, Grandma and Grandpa transformed what one daughter was expecting to be an awful holiday as a newly single mom into one of her best Christmas’s ever. Early Christmas morning, Grandma and Grandpa quietly sneaked into the daughter’s house, lit the tree, and turned on the Christmas music. The daughter was awakened that morning by one of her children who insisted that Santa Claus was downstairs. The daughter didn’t see how this could possibly be true, and the child responded, “Then who’s downstairs playing Christmas music?” The daughter and her children were met at the bottom of the stairs by Grandma and Grandpa, holding a Bloody Mary for their daughter. Thanks to them, that daughter had an unexpectedly wonderful Christmas that year.

We remember celebrating a memorable Christmas in the duplex at Falcon’s Landing. There was a fire between the stove and oven Christmas morning. The fire department came, quickly doused the fire, then took a few moments for a group picture of the family in their jammies and the firemen in their festive red fire gear.

Another Christmas, a grandson was in the hospital while his mother tried to work full time and still visit her child in the hospital. Louise volunteered to take care of the rest of the kids. To provide some special Christmas cheer for the kids at home, she took the five-year-old grandson to visit Santa at the local mall. The little guy was quite concerned about Santa’s fake belt (but not about his fake beard, hair and tummy) and when Santa asked what he wanted for Christmas, the little boy responded, “Shoes without holes.” And this little one did indeed get his wish for new shoes for Christmas.

DOLLS

Louise took lessons and learned to make beautiful porcelain dolls. Although Louise didn’t have time to dress each of her dolls, the ones she did dress were beautifully attired. Often, she included her own mother’s delicate tatting around the little collars and sleeves of the dolls’ clothes.

Louise was very, very good at making her dolls; they looked absolutely real. One of her bedrooms became a ‘doll room.’ A grandson vividly recollected the dolls in that room when he was a child: “OMG! Annandale had the room full of parts of children…all painted very lifelike, and hanging from things drying, and stacked like some sort of sadistic cordwood. All the faces were smiling even though they weren’t connected to bodies. I hated passing by the door to that room. So I’d kind of sneak up on it, then run by as fast as I could so the partially assembled dolls wouldn’t come to life and catch me and chop me up for the next doll or something. It totally creeped me out.”

It wasn’t just the grandchildren who were a bit spooked by those realistic dolls. In gathering memorabilia for Louise’s Celebration of Life, a great grandson was introduced to one of Great Grandma’s (GG) dolls. Even though this doll was dressed, the little one absolutely did not want this realistic doll in his bedroom. In another grandson’s household, a great-granddaughter thought her room was doll-free. She never liked any of her dolls (not just GG’s,) staring at her during the night. This great-granddaughter was horrified to discover what had been lurking in her bedroom closet for over a year. “What’s that doing in there??” she demanded when her father retrieved a doll for Louise’s Celebration of Life. It appears that virtually every great-grandchild that encountered her dolls was somewhat wary of those dolls. Apparently, porcelain dolls are for mature audiences only. GG never had any idea that the little ones were afraid of her beautiful dolls.

FAITH

Along with the happy times, there were also challenges. Louise often said, ‘No cross, no crown.” Even when times were a bit rough, she never, ever complained. Instead, she would do whatever she could to help. Once she buried a St. Joseph statuette in the front yard, facing the house, upside-down to help a grandchild get a job. It actually worked; the grandchild got the plum job! By the way, St Joseph kits are available on Amazon for $6.27. Who knew?!

While living in Spain in the 1960’s, well before she had any grandchildren, Louise purchased a beautiful lace christening dress fit for a future king. She bought it so that it would be available if any of her daughters wanted to use it to christen her future grandchildren. Although she had to wait, and wait, and wait for the grandchildren, many a grandchild and great grandchild were christened in this special dress.

MOTHER

When any of Louise’s daughters wanted help when a newborn came home from the hospital, she was always happy to assist. And when she arrived, she was usually greeted with a flood of tears of relief that everything was going to be okay now that she was there. She would help with the siblings while her daughters were in the hospital having the babies, and also did all the housekeeping, cooking, running errands, laundry and cleaning. She would happily have held those babies all day, but she knew it was more important for the new mommy to get to know and bond with her new baby. She showed by example how to be a good mother, and her daughters grew up to be good mothers, passing this skill on to their children.

In the late 1970’s one of Louise’s daughters came home to Virginia so she could be with her mother to have her baby. One fine, summer morning, Louise and her daughter enjoyed a leisurely breakfast together in Annandale. Shortly after breakfast, it became apparent that the baby may be arriving at last! The daughter showered and packed, and then Louise drove her to the hospital (during rush hour in the DC area), cracking jokes along the way about whether they should follow the signs “Deliveries in Rear.” In the hospital waiting room, Louise was told that her daughter was taken to the labor room. She barely settled in, when she was told, “Mrs. Hayes, come and meet your new grandson!” He was born at precisely at 10:00 am that morning. Like mother, like daughter.

GRANDMOTHER

Louise was a fabulous grandmother! Being a Daughter of the American Revolution (DAR), she was beyond delighted to have two bicentennial babies. She was so happy with this that one of her favorite pin/passwords once was ‘1976’.

Louise’s grandchildren remember the many times she took care of them while their mothers were busy working and they were sick or needed a bit of cheering up. She always knew the perfect antidote to any problem. Troubles never seemed so bad when treated with a spoonful of her minestrone soup or a bite of a favorite homemade pie (such as banana cream, cherry and coconut cream).

A healthy grandson (who needed no cheering up whatsoever, but just wanted more pie), managed to score a whole coconut cream pie in one evening. He remembers, “Her recipe always makes 2 pies, and there were 7 people at the beach at the time. The pies get cut into 6 pieces each with the little pie-cutter-marker contraption at the beach. So everyone had one piece, but we had to cut into the second pie. She said that the partial pies don’t keep well (which is true, they kind of separate and a pool of liquid forms), so I should go ahead and have as much as I wanted...which ended up being the remaining 5 pieces of the second pie!”

A granddaughter recalls “One remedy for sickness was popping Gone with the Wind in the VCR [at Grandma’s house] and enjoying the movie together. We would watch Gone with the Wind every day. I grew up wanting to be Scarlett O’Hara.”

The grandchildren also remembered numerous Thanksgivings and Christmas feasts in Grandma’s ‘Turkey Room’ where turkey was always served. Several of the grandchildren shared recently that it was in this ‘Turkey Room’ where they learned proper social etiquette and could behave correctly as adults at any table, no matter how fancy the place setting.

One of her grandson’s remembers, “I was going to make … a necklace for her [Grandma], but my adventures in metallurgy resulted in a brittle alloy, so I think it’s more of an amulet… I was going to try to forge a shell, but that was too hard, so I forged a leaf [instead]. Then when I gave her the leaf, she mentioned that scallops were her favorite shape of shell. So I took a scallop (from the beach), made a mold from sand (from the beach), and cast it using some of Grandpa’s old pennies and I finally got it cast to bring it on this trip [to Louise’s Celebration of Life], but apparently just a hair too late for her to see it in person.”

When a college grandson was in the hospital for several weeks, he remembers her, “Teaching me how to sports bet while I was in the hospital. I’ll never forget the Doc’s face when she asked what I do to stay busy, keep my mind off why I was there, and I said my Grandma taught me how to bet on sports. And right on cue here comes this sweet 80 something year old lady into the room.”

Louise frowned on one of Tommy’s favorite jokes, the infamous ‘One Armed Piccolo Player.’ Tommy performed this joke only when Louise was out of sight and earshot (or he would pay dearly). Tommy would first carefully peek over both shoulders to make sure the coast was clear before launching into that hilarious, off-color joke. Even though Louise didn’t approve of this fraternity-level humor, that joke was a real crowd-pleaser, as many of her grandsons can attest.

She was there to cheer for her grandchildren as they competed in wrestling, soccer, basketball, baseball, softball, and even skiing and horse shows. One of the granddaughters shared that “Grandma loved to watch me play soccer. She hardly ever missed a game. I can remember seeing her sitting in the

bleachers at high school when I was warming up before every game. She had this look that always said, “that is my grand daughter!” She always made me feel so proud of myself. I will never forget the confidence she gave me from a simple look or smile.”

In 1995, she took turns driving a pickup pulling a loaded horse trailer round trip to a national miniature horse show in St. Louis from Colorado. While we were at the show, she pitched in with all the work. She was the only person we’ve ever come across that actually enjoyed cleaning stalls. She always managed to find time to be able to fly to Colorado to watch her grandsons play football. I remember one game where the weather was cold and snowing. The game was not cancelled, so Louise and daughter wrapped in coats and blankets, and were among the few that braved it to the game’s end.

GREAT GRANDMOTHER (fondly shortened to GG)

Louise was lucky because she was able to know all her great-grandchildren, even those who lived far away. Her great-grandson, Hayes, was named after her. Louise said that there were many grandsons and great-grandsons named after Tommy, but this grandson was extra special because she knew this one was named after her.

All the great-grand babies loved her necklace! It was her silver necklace “with a bunch of loops.” GG remember that the little ones were mesmerized by that necklace and always made sure she wore it whenever one of the babies came for a visit.

Louise thought that the great-grandchildren would be bored with Falcon’s Landing. Not so! The kids loved to take tours with her. One of their favorite places to see was the Billiards Room, where they could play billiards with the balls (but no cues). One granddaughter loved looking through the books about flowers in the Library. In the Craft Room, they had great fun playing Shuffleboard.

On the Sunday before her last birthday, she took the family on their last tour with her. She did not hold back on sharing her strong opinions regarding the recent renovations at Falcon’s Landing. One of the highlights of that tour included the kids racing up the steps to the second floor to all those fun rooms, trying to beat GG, who was taking the elevator. GG never lost her competitiveness. Since the kids always won the race, on the last tour, she added stipulations to better her chances. She wouldn’t let the kids start on the stairs until the elevator door closed. When the elevator door opened on the second floor, the kids still were there to greet her. If those kids knew that in just a few days their GG would be gone, I’m sure they would have let her win.

The great grandchildren absolutely loved her room in the Johnson Center. The crystals hanging in her window magically cast hundreds of rainbows around her room in the afternoons. While the grownups visited with GG, the little ones would try to ‘catch’ the rainbows in their cupped hands.

The great grandchildren looked forward to Sunday brunches with GG. They could eat as much dessert as they wanted, and all the other residents would tell the kids how cute they were. GG loved showing off her beautiful brood. She always said that she would put her descendants up against anyone else’s.

When Louise was 93, she drove by herself from Falcon’s Landing to Children’s Hospital in Washington, D.C. to visit a newborn great-grandchild in the hospital’s cardiac intensive care unit. GG was a big part of his life from birth. He especially misses her so now.

It must have been pretty scary for the babies to meet GG for the first time. In fact, it literally scared them s***less. A granddaughter remembers dressing her new son in his cutest outfit in the mid-1990’s. While driving up the beach road to meet his great grandma for the first time, he “blew his diaper.” At roadside the granddaughter had to remove the special outfit, clean him up and dress him in some ordinary thing that was close at hand. Another great-grandson, also dressed to the nines for his first meeting with GG in 2012, similarly blew a diaper at BWI on his way to meet GG. The baby ended up naked on a blanket in the grassy area right by a loaded Greyhound bus. These parents cleaned him up as much as possible, and, like his second cousin earlier, was dressed in an ordinary outfit for his first meeting with his great grandma.

GG was looking forward to watching her great grandchildren play in softball tournament on July 13 and 14. It will be streamed live, and GG was looking forward to watching it. She has a better seat now.

SPORTS FAN

Louise was a true Redskins fan. Some of her grandsons were not. During Superbowl 22 in 1988, Redskins vs Broncos, her grandsons called Grandma to taunt her before the game started. “Denver was up 10-0 in the first quarter, and each time we scored, we called Grandma and Grandpa and would yell “go Broncos!” and hang up. The Redskins then proceeded to put on a clinic. The redskins scored 35 points in the 2nd qtr and the phone rang, and rang, and rang, unanswered in the grandsons’ house. Final score was 42-10. It was bad. I think Denver only got one quarter in the sun...then the sun didn’t shine much after that. It was so bad I’ve tried to block it. Almost successfully.” Louise then triumphantly sent a Super Bowl Champion Wheaties box, featuring her beloved Redskins, out west. Let’s just say, it was not appreciated.

Louise and Tommy had 10-game mini-season seats to the Caps. They would take a different grandchild to the games. A grandson remembers a memorable trip with Grandma. On the way home after the game, on the beltway, the grandson in the front seat, looked out his window and saw a bare butt smiling back at him. The grandson told Grandma to look at what was happening in the car next to them. She laughed and laughed.

Louise could hardly contain her delight when Charley Taylor, pro football Hall of Fame wide receiver with the Redskins, moved into the room directly across the hall from her in the Johnson Center a few years ago. He and Louise became fast friends, eating all their meals together at the same table. She said, “Wait till the grandkids hear about this!”

She was hard to beat at fantasy football, competing with her adult grandchildren. They were avid football fans and prided themselves in their football acumen. They couldn’t believe how she could beat them season after season. Her secret was, when she would wake in the middle of the night, she would go online and check the Sports Illustrated Fantasy Football tips! When the grandchildren discovered this secret, they cried foul because they couldn’t be up all night because they had to get up and go to work in the morning.

Louise even sacrificed attending an Orioles game where Cal Ripken broke the record for most consecutive starts to be with a granddaughter at one her horse shows.

BRIDGE

Louise and Tommy played bridge together from the time they met in college until Tommy was no longer able to play. When Tommy’s health deteriorated, Louise was always with him. The only time she left his side until he died on July 25th, 2008, was to play bridge each Friday afternoon. A daughter would visit with Tommy so Louise could get her weekly ‘bridge fix.’ After Tommy died, Louise continued to play bridge with her sister, Josephine, as well as with the bridge players at Falcon’s Landing. She was quite competitive and held her own at numerous duplicate bridge tournaments across the country. In her 80’s and 90’s, she loved bridge games where the younger opposing pair completely underestimated her bridge prowess. She would tell us she would “wait quietly, demurely smiling and wait for the other pair to make a mistake. And then the fun began.” At one of these tournaments, a man of the opposing pair took one look at Louise and her partner, Penny, and told his partner “These two ladies may look sweet, but they will eat you alive at the bridge table.”

In 2012, Louise achieved the Bronze Life Master status with the American Contract Bridge League (ACBL). Louise also appears in the bridge documentary ‘Double Dummy’, alongside Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. In November 2017 a grandson drove her to Charlottesville for the premier of this film.

For many years, Louise ran the duplicate bridge game at Falcon’s Landing. Due to her engaging personality and a lot of effort making numerous phone calls to fill up the bridge tables, matching up partners and encouraging people to participate. Because scoring duplicate bridge is difficult, she wanted to use MicroSoft Excel, so she could quickly compile and post results. She did this well into her ‘90’s.

One year, Louise and Tommy traveled to Hawaii to play together in a bridge tournament. They had a fabulous time playing bridge in their hotel. When they went to return to VA, they realized they hadn’t seen anything in Hawaii, other than what they could see from the taxi from the airport to the hotel. They didn’t want their friends to know that they went all the way Hawaii and hadn’t stepped foot out of their hotel. To solve this problem, they went to their hotel lobby and purchased post cards of Hawaii’s scenic beauty. They then mailed these cards to their friends, with a cheery note about how much fun they were having in Hawaii.

A grandson said, “I also remember how much my son loved GG’s necklace that she wore to the tournament at the North American Bridge Championships (NABC) in San Francisco in Fall of 2012. I remember we were spending Thanksgiving in CA. Grandma teamed up with her sister, Josephine, for the tournament. It wasn’t going great as they had not played much together recently, but they had a lot of fun! They took us on a tour, where the participants had completely occupied a hotel in downtown SF. Every conference room was packed with bridge tables full of people, and the rooms were totally silent. The spaces between conference rooms were full of people selling books on bridge strategies, NABC memorabilia, etc. Turns out it’s an entire community of people dedicated to the game. We inquired as to what their Thanksgiving plans were, but I believe they had bridge games scheduled throughout the week, including Thanksgiving. Grandma also indicated that she was loving what was intended to be her farewell trip to SF, which she had always loved.”

BEACH

So many happy memories of the beach! Louise and Tommy built the beach house in 1974 so their children and grandchildren would have a fun place to come together and really get to know each other, just as she did all those years ago at Edenvale. At the beach the kids got lots of exercise, healthy food, and had plenty of fun.

In the early 1970’s, when clams were still plentiful at the beach, Louise asked Tommy, a daughter and her husband to go gather some clams for dinner. They went clamming and were able to collect lots of clams. That night they sat on the edge of the deck and gobbled the clams raw, throwing the shells off the deck. Tommy, now with a tummy bulging with raw clams, began to worry that one of them might get sick. He wondered what to say if the doctor asked, “Just how many clams did you eat?” and they would have to answer “12 dozen.” And this was not 12 dozen for all 4 people, it was 12 dozen each!

Summer after summer, Louise and Tommy entertained numerous grandchildren at the beach as much as they could while their mothers had to work. Some of the memories shared by the grandchildren include, “My love of soap operas came from grandma. I remember her sitting at the beach playing solitaire watching her soap operas” and “my brother and me playing on the beach while grandma ‘watched’ us through the kitchen window.” A granddaughter remembers “Grandma French braiding my hair. One of my favorite parts of summer at the beach.”

Once a woman in a revealing thong bathing suit strolled down the beach. The pre-teen and teenage grandsons were mightily impressed. Some of the grandsons raced to the beach house to get Grandpa so he could see her on her return trip up the beach. When Grandpa made it down to the beach, everyone arranged their beach chairs to get the best view when Thong Woman passed by on her return. Meanwhile, one of the daughters also went up to the beach house. Louise was relaxing on the screen porch, and the daughter told her that she was missing out on Thong Woman. Louise assured the daughter that she was fine. She pointed to the young, strapping roofers working on the house next door, shirtless, muscles glistening in the sun. Louise happily stayed right there on the screen porch, enjoying the view.

In 2014, Louise learned that many of her family were planning on having a hurricane party at the beach as Hurricane Arthur passed. Instead of staying safely inland, Louise wanted to join the party. The grandkids had to really hustle to pick up Grandma at Falcon’s Landing and get her to the Outer Banks before the bridge over the sound closed!

One story well remembered by everyone who was there involved maintenance of the beach house. This house was erected on 10-foot pilings. One year, when there were many daughters and grandchildren underfoot, Tommy asked one of the sons-in-law to assist with repairs to water pipes under the house. Before commencing the job, Tommy told his daughters and their kiddos to all “Go to the bathroom” because there would be no flushing of toilets allowed while they did their work. The men went below and started working. Meanwhile, Louise quietly filled a gallon jug with water upstairs. She tip-toed out to the screened porch located right over where they were working. She put her finger to her lips to let us know to keep quiet and listened for the moment when the sewer pipe was disconnected. Precisely at that moment, she poured the water through the deck on to the men below. You never heard so much swearing and hollering “I told them not to use the toilets!” Louise laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes. She loved to retell this story.

FOOD

Louise was, hands down, a fabulous cook. She loved to provide delicious, healthy meals for everyone. Favorite dishes included pesto, minestrone soup, the shrimp feast, Pritikin bread, Boursin and crackers, shrimp dip, and buttermilk pancakes.

The grandkids remember the pancake assembly lines, where Louise whipped up batter from scratch, using her own pancake recipe, while Tommy flipped the pancakes on the griddle. It was all the mommies could do to keep delivering, buttering, syruping and cutting up an endless supply of hot pancakes for the bottomless pits at the picnic table. The grandkids would have pancake eating contests to see who could eat the most (the reigning champion consumed 52 pancakes at one sitting). The kids never left the table hungry. Those little ones grew up and eventually became part of the pancake assembly line.

Louise’s cooking was legendary. She made a mean Coquina chowder, made from fresh coquina clams patiently collected into sand buckets by the grandchildren and great grandchildren on the beach. So good!

Louise loved real sourdough bread, available only in San Francisco. A grandson shared “one of the Christmases we spent in SF, we overnighted some sourdough bread from the Bay Area to Grandma. I remember her complaining at some point that non-Bay-Area-made sourdough just never tasted right, so I figured she would enjoy it. I thought she would want to share it with her friends and family, but she totally hoarded it and ate the whole loaf. I think one of her daughters even brought over a bread knife from her house since Grandma was out of her apartment and no longer had one, but Grandma didn’t even offer to share it with her.”

“Minestrone. Best soup ever! She would always make me her minestrone when I was sick.”

Louise introduced basil pesto to her hungry, growing grandsons. Because these boys were colorblind, her pesto dish did not look appetizing at all. They gave each other the look that said, “What is this…” However, the grandsons remembering being told by their mother that at Grandma’s house, they had to eat whatever they were served (they didn’t have to have seconds). Those boys ate all the pesto and wanted more. They like it so much, she planted her own a basil garden in subsequent years. Those grandsons grew up to have their own basil gardens to feed their basil habit.

A grandson remembers a trip to the Food Lion in Corolla with his Grandma: “And the perfect green beans! I was probably about 10 (the Corolla Food Lion was pretty new) when Grandma and I went shopping. She asked if I could fill a bag with green beans. She picked through the pile, held up a single bean and said, “Like that.” So I set it aside and then picked through the pile, one at a time, picking beans that looked just like that one (no dark spots, no light spots, not too “stemmy”, etc.). She came and checked on me several times, but it took the whole shopping trip for me to fill the bag. She said it was the best batch of green beans she ever ate and mentioned it nearly every time I saw her.”

THE LAST FAREWELL

Louise was preceded in death by her husband, Tommy; her brother, Jack Hayes, Portland, OR; her sister, Adele Sperry, Hayward, CA; and her first-born daughter, Suzanne Marie des Cendres, Tallahassee, FL. She is survived by her sister, Josephine Dwyer, Portland, OR, and four daughters: Marilyn Kraus, Fairfax,VA; Carol Hayes, Chapel Hill, NC; Jane Hayes, Shawnee, OK; and Dorothy Thibblin, Knoxville, TN, as well as numerous grandchildren, great-grandchildren (and one on the way), one great-great grandchild, and many nephews and nieces. In some sort of conservation of family, when one member gets subtracted, one member gets added.

In the end, it’s hard to measure a good life, but we think we know a good one when we see one. One of her friends said, “We have the memories that will not fade of what likely is as much time as we could hope for.” We were all so blessed to have her in our lives.