Subject: Eulogy from Sondra's 4 kids...and their spouses 
Dear Mom, 
You gave us life. You were our protector, our teacher, our moral compass, our comfort. We thank you for all the ways you blessed our lives. 
Nothing can replace the emptiness your death has left in our lives. But mixed together with all our sadness, there is a great joy for having known you and in loving you forever.
We will remember your smile, your touch. We will remember your laughter, your kindness, your generosity, your determination, your love.
You inspired us with your lifelong love affair with Dad. From 15 yrs. on, he was your one and only, and you dedicated your lives to one another. From raising your kids to racing your horses, you showed us how to live life to the fullest.
You showed us how to celebrate and live with grace and beauty, and how to die with dignity and courage. You gave us many gifts that we will always remember with gratitude and honor.
In Mom's life and in her death, Mom showed us the way. In the final few weeks of her life, she told us she loved us with every fiber of her being and that she was done here. Mom was 78, her life was fulfilled and she told us that “I am ready to go.” 
She was so brave and so sure. Her family, on the other hand, was not so sure, nor so brave. We wanted Mom to fight for her life, we wanted to find a cure for her cancer, a miracle to bring her fading spirit back to us. But Mom knew what was ahead. We could not bear the truth.

We brought Mom home and she never recovered after surgery. We had 24 hour care with compassionate, loving nurses, and an in-house doctor visiting her day and night. We lived with her, loved her, and watched her go through the motions of living in a body that was failing her. It was so difficult to watch, painful in every way.
Yet Mom's beauty and kindness showed through with
each passing minute, with a twinkle in her eye, a smile, a nod, a whispered “I love you.”

Mom's final gift to us was in her passing. We knew the time was near. Beth, the nurse with us that day, told us that Mom was transitioning. We began to call our family together. 
We surrounded Mom with love and tears, we told her how
much we appreciated her, we shared our deep gratitude for her. We told her that she touched everyone she met with genuine kindness, beauty, and love; and that
her presence made a difference in the world.

Mom allowed us to walk her to the gates. Mom was not alone. We read prayers, sang to her, played music. And in the end, love is what remains.

Your life is a meaningful legacy to the four of us, our spouses, your grandchildren, and to all those whose lives you have touched. The love you gave will survive you through all who knew you.

Thank you for the time we shared, for the love you gave, for the wisdom you spread. We will always treasure the lessons you taught us. We will carry them
with us all the days of our lives. We are so proud to be your children.

May God watch over you and bless you, with gentleness and with love. As you blessed us.

We feel so blessed to have had you in our lives
and we will carry you with us in every fiber of our beings forever.
Your memory will always be a blessing to us.
We love you, Mom.
Love, Barb, Julie, Eileen, and David and spouses David, Rich, and Nan
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Subject: Eulogy from funeral that all 11 grandkids wrote and spoke for Sondra
We have had a few requests to post the eulogy read by the grandchildren for those who weren't able to make it to the funeral, so here it is...

11 grandkids with too many memories to count, too many stories to share, and too many life lessons that will never be forgotten. We didn't know where to start to express the gratitude we all share for being so blessed to be born into the Bender Family. Wanting all of our voices to be heard, 11 of us sat together in Grandma and Grandpa's house reliving memories and talking about everything grandma instilled in us -trying to find the one message she wanted to leave us with. We looked around and realized this was it, the best gift she gave us besides the card games, horse races, family vacations, and milestones, is our family. 

Our grandparents connected us all. No matter where we were in life, our annual family vacations were the highlights of our year; not because of the exotic locations and good weather, but because of the time we spent together. The 11 of us are so close because of the invaluable bonds Grandma helped us weave together.

Our Grandma was an amazing person. She was the definition of class and a role model to each of us. She was a living example of what we all aspire to be – having an unconditional loving companionship with Grandpa, having lifelong/loyal friends, having a generous heart and commitment to the Jewish community, and always carrying herself with grace and dignity –even in her final days.

We were moved by Grandma's positivity and selflessness in face of adversity. During her last moments with us, she blew us kisses and said “I love you.” She wanted to know about our lives, asking about New York, Colorado, weddings, and relationships, rather than focus on her own. Looking towards the future, she always remembered birthdays, events, and made each of us feel like we were a priority in her life – each of us enjoying our own unique relationship with her. We are so unbelievably blessed and can only hope to have this extraordinary relationship with our grandkids.

Even at this time in her life, she made it clear that she was thinking of us. When she woke up on February 13th, she knew it was Daniel's birthday, called him, and a card was already in the mail in typical Grandma fashion – with every word underlined. 

In the last few weeks, being together has kept us strong and helped us pull through. She was many things to many people, but we were the only ones who had the privilege of calling her Grandma. We miss her very much, but we will continue to see her spark within each of our cousins and remember her through our lifetime of experiences we will have with each other. 

Maybe this was part of her plan, to have us all together at this moment, allowing us to realize this indescribable gift of family. We are so lucky. We will continue to go on family vacations, spend time together, and love each other unconditionally in her honor. We love you Grandma.


Written by: Jason, Jena, Nikki Belinkie, Josh, Rachael, Dan Greenberg, Jake and Ross Bender, Gabs Bender-Laskow, and Diana and Sara Bender-Bier

I am truly sorry to hear of Sondra's passing.  A kind woman and a passionate philanthropist. My thoughts are with the Bender family.

We are saddened to hear of Sondra's passing. We will always have Sondra and Howard in our hearts for sponsoring  The Bender House of which our son
Steven is a resident.  Our love to the family on this sad occasion

Dee and Sid Goodrich

To the Bender Family,

I was so saddened to hear of Sondra's passing.  Sondra was an exceptional person.  A wonderful mother, devoted spouse, grandmother and a special friend.  She touched so many with her warmth and grace.  A lady of class and and quiet humility.  She will be truly missed.

Hilary Rubin, Joey & Ricky Goldberg

Many of you heard me mention on Sunday that we are building a children's playground in Washington D.C. on Friday, May 18th, which will be dedicated to my Grandma.  The Bender Foundation is funding the build and the entire playground will be built at a Washington, DC KIPP School in one day, from 8am-2:30pm. We are hoping that the majority of the 120 necessary volunteers will be our close family and friends, so we would be thrilled if you can join us! If you are interested in finding out more information (scroll all the way down to sign up), please go here - http://wfc2.wiredforchange.com/o/8608/p/salsa/event/common/public/?event_KEY=70498. You can also email me at jason.belinkie@gmail.com if you have any other questions.

Dear Barbara,
I was saddened to learn of your mother's passing.  Lauren told me that she sent a note to Gabs' Facebook page telling her how special her grandmother was, and I echo those sentiments.  Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

Ira

SONDRA WAS A VERY SPECIAL PERSON, AN INSPIRATION TO MANY AND WILL BE MISSED BY ALL THE MANY PEOPLE AND ORGANIZATIONS THAT SHE "TOUCHED".
STEVE AND BARBARA LUSTGARTEN

Dear Howard and Family


We were sadden to hear about the passing of Sondra.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you.  Cousins Paula and Sondra.

To the Bender Family,
Our family is with yours at this very difficult time. Your Mom was a true inspiration for us all throughout her life. She touched us and we will always feel her spirit in our hearts. 
The Rabin Family

My sincerest condolenses from myself and my family.

Our deepest sympathy the the Bender family for the loss of Sondra.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
The Bramow Family

My name is Laurel and I was Sondra's hairstylist for over 10 years.  This meant we spent over 1,000 hours together.  Hairstylists share a special relationship with their clients.  Sondra was an exceptional person, as everyone at the Rainbow salon would agree.  Sondra gave in many big ways, but it was the small ways that she gave, that made her an exceptional person.
For example, I had surgery while she was dying and just 3 weeks ago she sent me a get well card.
Sondra never acted entitled, but rather walked with such grace and and love.  I NEVER heard her say a bad word about anyone.  She has also passed all this beauty in being on to her children and grandchildren.  She exemplies a song some friends sing.
Give all the love you can.
To all the people you can
In all the ways you can.
Whenever you can.
For as long as you can.

Sondra will live on in me, because as the Rabbi said at her service, she has shared this grace with me, like the lighting of the candle of the person next to you.

Dear cousins,
We were terribly sorry to read of Sondra's passing in the sports section of the Baltimore Supapers.  We have many cherished memories of happy times spent together years ago.  We have thought of you often and are saddened by this great loss for the family.  Sorry we can't see  you in person, but we are in Florida for several days.  Remembering all of the good times will help strengthen all of you.

I extend my deepest sympathy to the Bender family for the loss of a Sondra,a beautiful person, devoted wife, loving mother and precious friend to everyone.

our deepest sympathy to your entire family.sondra will always be remembered for her charm and grace.

I met Sondra over 40 years ago while dealing with 100's of other women in my fitness business. Then, like now, the memory of her grace and specialness rose to the top, like cream. She stood out from the others with
 gentleness, authenticity and genuine 'class'. She will be remembered warmly by the many she touched.  My deepest condolences to the family and especially to Barbara, whom I  also knew.

Our deepest sympathy for your loss. Michael remembers all of you fondly from the "old neighborhood" days. A special hug to Mr. Bender. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Diana and Michael Katz (Reston, VA)

Our deepest sympathy to the entire family for your loss of a wonderful lady. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.  Beatrice Sager and Mark Sager

We were so saddened to hear of Sondra's passing. We are so sorry that we cannot be with the family at this time. May her memory forever be a blessing. 
Claire and Alan Sherman

We add our sorrowful voices to the chorus of those who knew, loved and admired your beloved Sondra, sharing in your grief. Her loveliness and graciousness will reign supreme in our memories. How fortunate we are that she graced our world.

The entire community mourns with you for the loss of a wonderful woman.  She was
a true lady.  May your memories comfort
you.

Our deepest sympathy for your loss.   May Sondra's legacy of strength, love and generosity comfort you at this time.  She will be missed by many.

My deepest sympathy to all of Sondra's family and friends.  She was a beautiful lady inside and out and will be sincerely missed by all who had the pleasure of knowing her.

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief.  May your memories bring you comfort.

Sondra spent her life enjoying her family and friends and we are so blessed to have enjoyed her.

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.

OBITUARY

Sondra D. Bender

1 September, 1933 – 22 February, 2012

National Funeral Home & Memorial Park

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