Auntie Mely came to the US to live with my family when we were 3 years old. She was the one in charge of me and Marie when our parents were at work.
We also grew up with our grandparents, Nanay and Tatay, and great-grandparents, Inang and Tatang. They were all loving and sweet, but Auntie Mely was the only one who was as sweet as she was strict. It was hard to get away with anything. When our parents weren't home, she would be their eyes and ears. And she proved to be a commendable soldier in our father's regime. 

When my dad was the bad cop, she played the good cop. But when she was the only one home, she got to be the bad cop. She made us clean up our messes, start our homework as soon as we got home from school, and she always made us finish all of the food on our plates. And too be sure, she would feel the size of our tummies to make sure we were full. They were strict, but we realized it was for our own good. 
There was a time our Dad was giving us a hard time about not taking our vitamins. It was the Flinstones kind and he said that it was designed for children to swallow, so we should be able to swallow it whole. But it was too hard for us to do, plus we didn't like the way it tasted. So when we were supposed to take the vitamin, we would keep it in our mouth, then go to the bathroom, spit it out on toilet paper, and throw it away. But she was too smart to fool. She pulled the wad of toilet paper out of the trash and showed us what she found. Though she was probably disappointed that we tried to deceive her, she realized that the best way for us to take it was not to scold us, but to cut the vitamins into pieces. After that incident, we thought twice about trying to get anything passed her. Even now, when I think of that slimy, purple Fred Flinstone lying on toilet paper, I still get that same feeling of guilt and embarrassment.
There's a story that she always loved to tell about one night we refused to drink our milk. Our dad warned us he would drop the glass of milk on the floor if we didn't drink it. Auntie Mely suggested we say the ABCs between each sip. So when she told this story, she'd imitate us trying to hold back our tears as we recited: “A......(sob), B (sniffle)...., C......” She helped us with the alphabet until we finished the glass. To this day, we still drink our milk every night, but without the ABCs.

Aside from our parents,  Auntie Mely was the main influence in what made us who we are.
There were many lessons she taught us that seemed unimportant at the time, but those little things became long-lasting in our lives. 
She always checked that we brushed our teeth every night. I've only had one cavity in my life and Marie likes to show off that she's never had one.
She made sure we had good hygiene. So she kept our nails clean and short. Now I can't do my nails any other way.
She encouraged good manners. She made us realize that it was important to thank the person who was cooking our food and washing our dishes. 
She reminded us to keep our voices down, especially when our Mom was sleeping. This was part of her lesson to be considerate and respectful of others.
It was her who made us think about the difference between wants and needs.
And she also made us think about how hard our parents worked and why they worked. They worked for us and for our well-being, so that we can have the lives that we want. She taught us to be appreciative of everything our parents did for us, even though we don't always agree with their methods.

In her weakest days, we saw her delicate and sweet self. At the same time, we also witnessed her toughness. Although she was small and weak, she'd keep on fighting for another day. There were times years ago, when we thought she would leave us. But her determination to see the next stage of our lives, and Jane and RJ's lives, kept her going. She fought hard for her last years and the last days of her life. 
She left us on the morning of March 8th, but her influence will always be a part of our lives and the foundation our character. It's amazing that someone so small could have such an enormous effect on our lives. Like Jane and RJ, Marie and I are the products of her love, her care, and her guidance.

Hello, I'm RJ and I am one of Melita Tapoc's two grandchildren. Mama took care of me ever since I was born. When my parents went to work, she was their to feed me and take care of me. Before school, she would always make me chocolate milk with bread, and she would have coffee and crackers and we both sow sow and dip our crackers or bread into the drink. After school as a snack, she would have soup or macaroni and cheese prepared for me and my sister to eat. She taught me how to color inside the lines, spell, learn vocabulary words for spelling tests and much more. Whenever I came home with a good grade on my test, Mama would be so proud and say good job balong and would give me 5 dollars and a hug or kiss on the cheek.
 Around the house, everyone called me the care giver because no matter who was in the house, Mama called me for help.  I remember joking with my family that whenever I went to sit down or lie down, Mama had something for me to do. If she needed medication, food, or help to get to one place to another, I was there to assist her. When she saw that I started to get frustrated after the fifth or sixth time she called for me, she would always say,
“ I feel so much stronger now that you help me,” or “I am so grateful and blessed to have a caring grandson to help me.” And after hearing this, I would no longer be frustrated anymore and be happy for helping her. Mama taught me how to be patient and keep my calm.
 One of the fondest memories I have of her is playing cards with her. I remember we would play go fish, and I would let her win by giving her all the cards to make pairs and keep all my cards. One time she asked me to see my cards after she won and I shuffled the cards fast because I had 27 cards. Jokingly she asked, Are you cheating me? and we both laughed for 10 minutes. Her favorite game was black jack or 21 because you had to count and add. Mama would always say, we should play this everyday so you can strengthen the brain.
 No matter what her condition was, she always wanted to be there for me and my sister.  I remember bringing her to my baseball games and whenever I got a hit i I would look at the stands and I would see her in her wheel chair yelling as loud as she can and waving her hands. 
 I remember reading a quote saying “ you have never really lived life to its fullest until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” Mama achieved this goal. She raised a wonderful and caring mom, and intelligent sister and me and all of these things I could never come close to repaying her. During her final breaths, I think she finally realized it and let go of any pain she had.
 Ill miss and cherish every moment I had with her. Ill miss the times when you made me breakfast when I was little, when you would kiss me after every shower and would say bunglo or whenever I had a new haircut, good or bad, you would always say I was pogi.
 Although you cannot see me and my sister graduate from high school or college in person, Mama, I know that you will always be watching us from above and would feel very proud of us. Through your last week here, even if you forgot who I was when I visited you or did not recognize me, you knew I was there somewhere. I'm sad you have left us, but I'm happy you don't have any pain anymore. I'm sorry for all the times I got frustrated when you asked me for the time and date  for the 5th time and I hope you forgive me. I'll never forget all of the great laughs we had, the smile you always tried to have when you saw me after school, and the amount of love I have for you. Thank you mama and I love you so much.

My memories with Auntie Mely, during my childhood: Magiliw siya masyado sa akin pg nakikita nya ako nung nasa Philippines pa sya, very thoughtful sya sa aming family, You are one of my best Auntie, san ka man naroon ngayon mamimiss ka namin.

I still remember your smile and words of wisdom. You were strict and loving at the same time because all you want is the best for your loved ones. You are one special person, Auntie Mely! You will always be loved and remembered. You are with Him now and in His care, everything will be alright!!!

I was deeply saddened to hear abt the death of auntie mely, I know how difficult this must be for you but remember this god is good  he will give you the strenght god speed mare...Youre in my thoughts and prayers...I remember auntie mely as "Masungit " but she lovable when you got to know her..May you rest in peace auntie Mely......

"We remember mama always giving us money." We will miss you.

Joemel and Chelsea-grandnephew and grandniece

"I best remember her "maselan" but she was loving,kind,thoughtful and very motherly."

Loida,Niece

" I best remember her "maselan" but she was loving,kind,thoughtful and very motherly."

 Loida- Niece

"We remember ,mama always giving us money"
We will miss you.

 Joemel and Chelsea - Grandnephew and Grandniece

"I was her pet,her favorite of all grandchildren"

                                         Jona_grandniece

"I best remember her "maselan" but she was loving,kind , thoughtful and very motherly.

                                                                                 Loida- nephew

No words can express my sadness when I heard about the passing if ur mom, I pray to God that u may have the strength to go on and know that a Mom's love is everlasting... May ur Mom's soul rest in peace. God bless ur family...

She has gone Home to our Creator. May the Power and Glory of our Dear Lord touch you in your time of grief. And May she rest in peace, In Jesus name.

Words are not enough to express how sorry I am for your loss. I have prayed to God to provide you the strength and courage you need in order to handle this difficult time. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family..Be strong! May she rest in peace.

OBITUARY

Melita Romano Tapoc

3 April, 1936 – 8 March, 2013

Lima Family Milpitas-Fremont Mortuary and Cedar Lawn Cemetery

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