Born March 1st, 1932 to Elizabeth Ellen Yowler and Charles Carroll Keim in Uniontown, Pennsylvania, Molly Marquette Graybill was a bright child. She even won the spelling bee in grade school. Molly graduated from Uniontown High School with a diploma, and set off to get married and have a family.
Molly worked mostly in retail to say the least. Additionally, she had a slew of experience in the occupational field, including a few jobs prior to retail. In her early retail experience, Molly did bookkeeping and took inventory at "Imperial Sportswear" in Cleveland, Ohio. Later, with her second husband (Elmer Graybill), she was Co-Owner of two motels - "Plaza Motel” and "Scotts Motel", located in St. Clairsville and Morristown, OH, respectively. After her divorce, she returned to retail as a Manager at "Fashion Bug Plus," in St. Clairsville, Ohio.
Always striving for self-improvement and to provide well for her family as a single mother, Molly often worked 2 or 3 part-time jobs in the evenings and her days off. Simultaneously, Molly took several college classes toward a degree in business. When she moved the family to Phoenix, AZ, she decided to change careers for a time, and worked multiple office jobs, including a position as an Administrative Assistant for "All Signs System" in Phoenix, Arizona. In the evenings, Molly went back to her roots in retail, going to work for “Osco Drug Store”, where she retired as Head Cashier. Molly was also a Tax Preparer during tax season at "H&R Block" for over 10 years , and worked for "Bud Brown Barn's Catering Company" as part of the Kitchen/Server help during her off time, until she retired at 74 yrs old.
Although she did not complete her college degree, Molly Graybill had many other accomplishments in her life. Most notably, throughout all of her life, her greatest accomplishment was being a mother and friend. Molly was a particularly great mother. She married and divorced twice, bearing four children from her first marriage and three from her second.
Molly was a Roman Catholic, and a member of multiple organizations and clubs:, Solo Parents, Catholic Women's Club, Parents Without Partners, and other committees associated with the church and the kids’ school. She held various positions in multiple clubs, from Membership, Secretary, Treasurer, and to Vice President.
In her spare time, Molly loved reading and playing bingo. She read the newspaper everyday, enjoyed crossword puzzles, and traveled lightly when she could. While on vacation, she loved sight-seeing, doing touristy stuff, and trying new things, in addition to visiting and spending time with her family.
Molly M. Graybill was 87 years of age when she passed away on Saturday morning, the 2nd of November, 2019, in Phoenix, AZ. She is preceded in death by both of her parents, Charles and Elizabeth Yowler Keim; Siblings: Dorothy Poirier, Cassie Summer, Nellie Groff, and Betty Poulson. Her son, Danny Hawkins, is presently unknown.
Molly Marquette Graybill is survived by 3 brothers and a sister: Pat Keim of Lakebay, WA; Isaac Keim of Midland, MI; Randy Keim of Coal Twp, PA; Arlene Bowcutt of Silverdale, WA; Six daughters: Barbara Gouger and Joni Eierdam of Peoria, AZ; Beverly Sager of Riverside, CA; Lisa Savino of Chandler, AZ; Doris Hale of Panama City Beach, FL; and Judith Graybill of Phoenix, AZ. Also twelve Grandchildren, thirteen Great Grandchildren, and eight Great Great Grandchildren. And, Molly's dearest friend Billy Bowen.
Molly Marquette Keim-Graybill
Mar 1, 1932 – Nov 2, 2019
EULOGY
Thank you for coming.
How do you sum up a person who’s lived 87 years into only a few minutes? It’s like trying to summarize one of your favorite novel series (or movie series) into only a few pages. Something is bound to get missed. That’s in part why, when I’m finished, my sisters and I will be inviting you to share one or more of your favorite memories with us… so we can all re-experience Mom’s charm, sense of humor, and uniqueness together.
I’ll start by sharing some of Mom’s own words, from an assignment she wrote her senior year in high school, entitled, “My Garden of Memories”:
“A Bundle From Heaven
It was Monday evening, Mar 1, 1932; the time was twenty minutes after four. A cloud burst open and Heaven dropped forth a tiny pink bundle of joy. It wasn’t very heavy, only six pounds, 8 ounces. It wasn’t very big either for it measured scarcely more than twelve inches. But good things come in small packages and Mr. and Mrs. Charles Keim, the proud parents of a baby daughter, weren’t going to dispute the contention. The little blessing from Heaven had no name – a condition which had to be remedied at once. So many names were proposed; Just as many were disposed. The persistence of one name, however, and the appropriateness of it seemed to warrant its selection above all others. My paternal grandmother, whose name I now bear, would indeed be pleased. My fortune was launched: From that day until this, I’ve borne this appellation, Molly Marquette.”
Underneath this prose, where she lists the stats, she lists herself as having hazel eyes and blonde hair. Interesting because we know her to have blue eyes and black hair (or white for some of you).
This is Mom. She enjoyed expressing herself creatively this way. In fact, English and Writing classes were always her favorite, even when she went back to college. Not many people know that about her, though, because they didn’t have the occasion to see that side of her.
Most people mainly know her through her work. That’s because she worked a lot. When I think back on Mom’s life, my off-the-cuff thought is of her working all the time, because that’s what she did for the majority of my life. She got up at the crack of dawn and didn’t lay down her head to sleep until 10 or 11 at night, going from one job to the next. On her days off, she worked a 3rd job. I even remember her taking a vacation from one to work more hours at another. She put a part of herself into everything she did, including her work. Yet, that wasn’t who Mom was. That was merely one aspect of her.
As I went through all the many pictures we have of Mom, as well as the memories we don’t have pictures for, it occurred to me that we don’t have very many of her working. That’s because Mom crammed in a lot of life into the times off work. Looking back, I am impressed at how she optimized her time. She made every minute count. When we took a vacation with her, we filled every day with back-to-back activities, from the moment we got ready in the morning ‘til the moment we lay down to sleep. Heh... we needed a vacation to recover from our vacation, ‘cause we were so exhausted from it. Albeit a good exhaustion because we were so full - full of new experiences, new laughs, and new stories to share. Each of us sisters have stories of taking “the scenic route” to places, which was our shortcut for saying we were lost. She had a way of making any experience sound positive.
Mom had boundless energy, too. She always – always – made time for us in spite of working all those hours. A struggling single mom of 4 and then 3, she didn’t have much money or time – and no car, and still managed to make every birthday, holiday, and minor accomplishment special. When my eldest sisters were young, at Christmas time, that meant dragging a Christmas tree for several blocks and up a flight of stairs, every single year. After my parents’ divorced, she saved enough money to take us on vacation every single summer – usually an amusement park and to visit the relatives.
This was a bigger feat than you can imagine. My mom never made a lot of money at any of her jobs. Mom was simply a master at budgeting her money. She could stretch a dollar farther than any person I know. And, she was resourceful. She knew how to maximize her efforts with community – through church and the social organizations, like Parents Without Partners. We did a lot of group adventures with them, which made it more affordable ~ and fun.
When I say she budgeted masterfully, I mean down to the penny. I will never forget when I went with her to buy a new used car. She figured how much she could afford per month down to the penny. Each time the salesman came back with a higher number, Mom simply turned it down and pointed to her bottom-line limit. They reworked those numbers so many different times. At one point, they came back with an amount that was 5 cents more than her limit. I was happy and relieved, thinking we could finally close the deal and go home. (We were there for 5 hours!) Nope! She wouldn’t budge. She told them what her limit was, and stood her ground. Sure enough, they reworked the numbers, and the final amount ended up BELOW her spending limit. If we can learn one thing from Mom, this would be it.
Well, NOW you all know where my stubbornness comes from. Only when she had to, though. Mom chose her battles wisely. Most battles weren’t worth fighting, which is why most people only know her gentle side. She definitely was that – very amenable and easy-going. Some might even mistakenly think she’s passive. They’d be incorrect. When it came to what she felt was morally right, she spoke up, even if the circumstances dictated that silence would be the safer bet. For example, when my parents owned a motel when I was a child, I recall the story of them getting robbed at gunpoint after us kids were asleep by a young couple in their early 20’s who wanted to elope, and needed some money. My mom tried to talk them out of it by telling them that being on the run was no way to live and raise a family. Afterward, my dad simply shook his head and said, “I understand you got your morals; but it was my head they had the gun pointing to.” But that was Mom. She stood up for what was right.
Not just with her words either. It’s how she lived her life. Her values were very important. She believed in saying “please” and “thank you”, and asking people instead of ordering them. Even us kids. When it came to doing chores, she asked politely and said ‘please’. I asked her once what’d she say if I said no – since she was giving me the option. “Well,” she replied, “Don’t you like doing nice things for people? Wouldn’t that make you feel good?” How could I say ‘no’ after that??! The guilt would’ve gotten to me. Most often, though, she’d tell us we’d “have an extra star on our crown when we get to heaven.” Well, I’m sure Mom’s crown is so full of stars that it’s too heavy to hold up.
Not cussing was another value. It was important to her that we get raised with that level of dignity. That was one rule we didn’t break. Not because we never did anything wrong. We were kids after all. We didn’t do it out of respect for her. In her later years, after she lost all her memory, the thing she pointed out the most often about ALL her kids, besides being “wonderful”, was that we don’t cuss. AND, she’d always praise her boyfriend, Billy, for the same thing. It always made me laugh.
Forgiveness. She was somehow able to forgive people who wronged her. Her ex-husbands, for example. Both of them cheated on her. Yet, she somehow was able to not only be friends with her first husband, Jimmy, but his new wife,Tiny, as well. They’d attend holidays together with the rest of the family, had casual conversation – and NO arguing. She even stayed with them while recovering from a knee surgery. Tiny took care of Mom for no other reason than respect.
This is not atypical with Mom. She was respected by many. Most especially by people who knew the things she’s overcome. Her life was by no means easy. Her early life that is. I was the youngest. So by the time I came along, the worst of her experiences were behind her.
Born during The Great Depression era, Mom grew up poor – on “the wrong side of the tracks” as she would say. Some of the stories of her childhood are outright depressing for us today who have had the luxury of being able to take it for granted that we’d have enough food to drink. Mom wasn’t always so fortunate, and my grandparents had 9 kids to feed. Mom recalled a time when all they had was a piece of bread with lard on it, and felt lucky to get it. For a treat, they ate meat on Sundays. They didn’t always have hot water – and certainly remembered the days of needing to use an outhouse instead of indoor plumbing (even in the snow!). Yet, when she talks of her childhood, she talks fondly.
That was really hard for me to understand. It’s taken me decades to finally get it. It comes down to perspective. Granddad put it into perspective for her. He’d tell her, “Girl! Don’t you know how good you have it? You’re lucky to have nothing, because you can only go up from here.” That’s the kind of attitude Mom adopted, too. Regardless of what happened, she was somehow able to look on the bright side of everything.
This wasn’t always easy, though. It took effort. Sometimes, a lot of effort and a lot of time. This is also where her faith came in. Mom was a solid Catholic. She went to church every Sunday as long as she was able. Even when we had to place her in a memory-care home, she asked if there’d be a Sunday service so she can receive the Eucharist. Never coming across devout, but rather carrying the steady and unwavering belief that there was a higher purpose to everything.
I suspect that this is what ultimately got her through the most challenging of circumstances, and even her toughest decisions, the bulk of which where during the second part of her life as a single mom – 4 children with her 1st husband, Jimmy, and 3 with her 2nd husband, Elmer (my dad).
She didn’t make a lot of money at any of her jobs, and quite often in the beginning didn’t have enough money to pay all her bills. Her ethics dictated they all get paid, but circumstances dictated her to finagle in order to make that happen. We’ve all heard the story of when she had 2 utility bills to pay, but not enough money to pay both in full. In her rush of the day, she paid the first in full, leaving herself with nothing for the second. She had to go back to the first utility company and convince them to give her half her money back. I can only imagine what the lady working that day was thinking. She didn’t return it easily or quickly, but Mom held firmly, knowing why she needed it, and finally got half back to pay the other utility so nothing got shut off.
In 1958, her 4th child and only son was born. She named him Daniel after her favorite story in the bible, Daniel in the Lion’s Den. It wasn’t too long later when she discovered that Danny had profound developmental challenges, both physical and mental. When Danny needed cataracts surgery, she received assistance to pay for it from both her brother and her employer, Malcolm, who also became a close friend for life. After 14 surgeries, it became apparent that the cataracts couldn’t be resolved. That was only 1 of many challenges he had, thus requiring 24-hour care. As a single mom of 4 working tirelessly and struggling to just stay afloat, the extensive care for Danny, including finding good babysitters, took its toll. She did that for years. Eventually, she made what I know was the toughest, most painful decision of her life - to make Danny a ward of the state. Of all my 47 years, the only time I can remember seeing my mom cry was after the first time we went with her to visit Danny.
I’m sure my mom cried many other tears, about Danny as well as other things, but in private. It wasn’t the side she showed to the world. God only knows how she got through it all. This goes back to her unwavering faith in a higher power. When you understand these things about Mom, it helps you to understand other things about Mom. Like why she went above and beyond to make every holiday special for not only her kids, but herself as well.
She got into the spirit of every holiday. For Halloween, she went to work every year dressed in costume. Christmas was her absolute favorite holiday. She loved decorating the tree every year, and watched every single Christmas movie every year. Her favorites were Rudolph, Bells of St. Mary’s, and Miracle on 34th St. She sent out Christmas cards every single year from 1960 to 2011 when her memory started failing her, to an average of 69 people/year. She received an average of 69% of those in return.
[Range of cards sent: 39 – 167 cards (over 52 years); Range of cards received: 12- 83 (in 38 years tracked) = avg of 69% returned of what she mailed.]
She always sent out “Thank you notes” to people who sent gifts, because she learned first hand the value of true friends who would be there for you during the challenges.
She became very involved in the committees through church and other social clubs – Catholic Women’s Club, Solo Parents, Parents Without Partners – taking on several roles from Membership, to Treasurer, to Vice President.
Independent and resourceful are probably the most prominent words I can think of to describe Mom. She knew how to get things done, and somehow made it look easy. If you asked her how she did it all, she’d simply say, “Because I had to”. To her, it was that simple.
Her experiences gave her a lot of wisdom about life, but she never preached or pushed those valuable lessons onto others. Instead, she lived by example. She was a great listener, and truly understood others’ challenges. I presume because she’d been through so many herself. She wasn’t one for giving advice when we talked to her about our problems. But when we finished talking to her about them, we somehow had a renewed inner strength and a belief in ourselves to do what needed to be done.
Well-known for her sayings, she had many, most of which came from her dad. “This too shall pass.”
“If it’s not well, it’s hell.”
“Many true words spoken as a joke.”
She believed in the good nature of people – that there was good in everyone – and thus gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. She genuinely liked people, and that became even more obvious in her last years after losing her memory. Anyone will tell you that the typical person with Alzheimer’s will develop behavioral issues, such as bitterness, anger, or paranoia. But Mom never did. When you put it into that context, you get a sense of how truly amazing this is, especially when you know even some of the challenges of her early life. She had many reasons to be bitter. Yet she wasn’t.
Instead, she was quick to smile, as you’ll see from the photos we’ve compiled. Partly because she was grateful for even the little things, and was able to see the beauty in the world, even in the midst of the opposite. She shared that aspect of herself with others, but not through her words, but rather just by being a genuinely good person. And even a sense of humor.
One way she shared this part of her is by sending a hug coupon in every single one of the cards she sent out to all the family members, and probably some friends as well. Every ~ single ~ card => every single year, for years (decades actually). We can’t remember exactly how much money she sent with the card, but we all remember getting a hug coupon. The ironic thing is that Mom was not the huggy type. She didn’t go around hugging people. She wasn’t touchy-feely in that way. At the same time, we all knew the sentiment behind the hug coupon was sincere. That was how she let us know that she truly cherished us. It was only one of many ways, but it became her signature – possibly the most prominent thing she’s known for among us family members.
Which is why we’re sharing that part of her legacy with you. When my sister and I sat down to plan how to most honor Mom in the celebration of her life, this stood out to each of us. It came up in multiple conversations with my other sister, too, which was relayed from other family members as well. So we decided to combine her intention behind the hug coupon with her love of reading, and made book marks out of them. We’re offering one to everyone here, as a hug from Mom. You can even take one for somebody else who you cherish as a token of spreading the love and good intentions behind it. There’s enough for everybody.
There’s so much more I can say about Mom. There’s no way to cover everything in such a short time, as I said in the beginning. Plus, each of us have our own individual experiences and memories with Mom.
At this time, we invite you to share a few of those individual memories with us, in remembrance and celebration of a woman who was truly a wonderful human being.
There is one final thing I’d like to add, which is worth saying. My sisters and I all learned how to be independent, strong-willed, and determined just like Mom was. We’re all queen of our own castle, so to speak. When Mom was originally put into the senior home, we all wanted to be involved with her care, but didn’t know how to work together. We simply hadn’t yet developed that dynamic among us. We each had our own opinions about what was best for her, and didn’t always agree. In the beginning, there was only one thing we could agree on - that we all just simply wanted Mom to be able to enjoy life – for her to be able to just show up and enjoy the simple pleasures – to not have to worry about paying a bill or having any other responsibility. When I looked through all the photos I got from Pacifica over the last few years, it’s obvious to me that we got our wish. She had many positive memories there. So many truly happy moments, and even got to experience one last love with her last boyfriend, Billy. Seeing her smile in so many pictures is the most treasured gift – our biggest wish fulfilled.
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