OBITUARY
Valerie Ruth (Hart) O'Brien
4 May, 1942 – 7 November, 2020
On November 7 in the company of her sons in her room at Parkstone Enhanced Care. Born in 1942 to Bruce and Pauline (McKay) Hart, Valerie’s Nova Scotian roots bridged multiple generations. She spent her first years in the Hart family home on Spring Garden Road, and lived subsequently at 6011 Coburg Road. She attended LeMarchant, Cornwallis Junior High, and Queen Elizabeth High schools, and in youth was very active in figure skating and dance, as well as riding with the Halifax Junior Bengal Lancers. She earned an undergraduate degree in Psychology at Mount Allison University in Sackville, NB, and a Masters of Social Work from the Maritime School of Social Work (Dalhousie).
In 1965, Valerie Hart and Daniel O’Brien (d. 2016) were married in Dartmouth, the beginning of an elegant partnership by which each was nurtured and sustained for 51 years, and though which they enjoyed many personal and professional friendships both at home and around the world. They have two sons profoundly grateful for the love and example they have been given: Prof. Peter O’Brien (Paula Simpson-O’Brien, Halifax), and Fr. Craig O’Brien, SSC (Sackville, NB). Also in Halifax are “Gramma’s” adored grandchildren, Rachel and Gabriel.
Val’s career as a Registered Social Worker brought her work as a family and child counsellor, notably at the Addictions Research Foundation in Toronto in the 1960s; in Halifax, at the Family Service Bureau during the 1970s and at the Atlantic Child Guidance Centre through the 1980s, and then in private practice in Fredericton, New Brunswick, where Dan was President of Saint Thomas University from 1990-2006. She was Dan’s constant support in that position and in subsequent presidencies at the Atlantic School of Theology and NSCAD, serving an unscripted, but crucial role as host, social convenor, intermediary, and ‘fixer,’ as well as providing more formal service, like chairing the organizing committee of the Saint Thomas Gala Dinner. Offshoots of her couples, individual, and family therapy were numerous teaching responsibilities, expert witness testimonies, and professional conference and public service presentations. Val served a number of professional associations, including The Nova Scotia Association for Divorce and Family Mediation, of which she was a founding member and president. Her voluntary board memberships included Bonny Lea Farm, Theatre New Brunswick, the Vanier Institute of the Family, and the Muriel McQueen Foundation. Val’s perpetually bright and optimistic disposition was cherished and relied upon by many beloved friends and colleagues, and it was in evidence right to the end, when progressive dementia had quelled her lifelong appetite for constant physical motion. She jogged or participated in aerobics classes daily well into her 70s, and, along with Dan and friends, loved skiing, golfing, and tennis at home and abroad. She and Dan enjoyed extensive travel in Canada and internationally.
Val’s spiritual journey began in the church of her family, St. Andrew’s United in Halifax. In later years she worshipped as an Anglican, and, with her husband Dan, in the Roman Catholic Church. In 2005, she was awarded the Bene Merenti medal, a papal decoration. In a private ceremony, her remains will be interred with Dan’s in the columbarium of St. Augustine’s Church in Chester, NS, where they had a home to which they retired in 2006.
Through life and in her years of illness, Val was buoyed by the love of her many friends and family. We are profoundly grateful to them and to the sensitive and patient attention of her caregivers, and especially Suzanne (Zane) Rasay-Rodillas, Ariane Newton, Dr. Ken Rockwood, and the staff in Parkland Evan Hall and Parkstone Enhanced Care, Garden Court. In addition to her parents and husband, Valerie was predeceased by her sister Paula (David) Mann and sister and brother-in-law Nancy and Donald MacKinnon. As well as her sons and grandchildren, she is survived by her sister Donna Hart (Halifax), brother Reg (Pauline) Hart (Miramichi), brother-in-law Ross (Janet) O’Brien (Dartmouth), and several nieces and nephews.
In lieu of flowers, donations in Val’s memory can be made to the Dan and Valerie O’Brien Bursary fund (St. Thomas University), the Atlantic School of Theology or NSCAD University scholarships and bursary funds, the Alzheimer Society of Nova Scotia (particularly its Artful Afternoon program), the Northwood Foundation (especially the Adult Day Program) or a charity of your choice. Visitation at Cruikshank’s Halifax Funeral Home, 2666 Windsor Street, Friday, November 13, 7-9pm. Funeral at St. George’s Round Church, 2222 Brunswick Street Saturday, November 14, 1pm, Fr. Craig O’Brien officiating. Protocols for masks, social distancing, contact tracing will be observed.
If you wish to view a recording of the funeral service please click the provided link below:
Services
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Visitation
Friday, 13 November , 2020
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Funeral Service
Saturday, 14 November , 2020
Memories
Valerie Ruth (Hart) O'Brien
have a memory or condolence to add?
ADD A MEMORYKathy Smith McClellan
20 December 2020
Dear Peter, I send my deepest sympathy to you and Craig and all your family as you mourn Val's death, Peter I'm so grateful that you put me in touch with Val. She didn't recognize who I was, but it was a good conversation. I was happy to hear her voice. We had many good times together at the camp at Bedford Basin, visits on Cobourg Rd., going to the Waag. Valerie, Paula and Donna would come to my birthday lunch every summer that my Nana had for me. A small party, but we had great fun! They were my only guests as I didn't know anyone else in Halifax. We used to play characters in Nancy Drew and Anne of Green Gables.
God bless you all as you grieve. May Valerie rest in God's peace and her memory be a blessing.
Love to you all, Kathy
p.s. My family is Anglican and Nana took me to church at St. George's Round Church to evening service in the summers.
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Wayne Hollett
27 November 2020
When I was told today of Valerie's passing some three weeks ago I reacted with deep, heartfelt sorrow. We worked together at the Atlantic Child Guidance Centre back in the 70s and 80s as close friends and supportive colleagues. Valerie's warm, kind and gentle compassion and understanding had a favourable influence on countless clients, numerous colleagues, and an abundance of friends and acquaintances. She will be profoundly missed. The world has lost an exceptional woman but the heavens have gained a beautiful angel.
Susan Bennett
20 November 2020
Dear Peter & Craig . What a lovely tribute to your mother. Valerie was such a special person, always so gracious with her warm manner and delightful laughter. As we were both social workers and mediators we spent a lot of time together. And as neighbours on Beech St. we were friends and you were classmates of PJ and Heather. And of course I knew both your parents together, your mother was a perfect partner to your father's humour and satire. You were fortunate to have such loving parents.
Warm regards to you both.
Susan
Jill Shlossberg
19 November 2020
Peter, Paula, Craig, and family
I am so sorry for the loss of this beautiful lady. I know her past few years have been a very tough time. She was such a sunny, generous, accomplished, sociable person and an immediate friend to anybody lucky enough to come within her sphere. I have great memories. My deepest condolences.
-Jill Shlossberg
Patricia Lynch
17 November 2020
Dear Peter abd Craig,
Tom and I send our deepest condolences to you both. Over the decades we have shared so many wonderful times with both of your parents. Your Mom was such an impressive woman and always so much fun to be around. I can still hear her delightful laugh.
What I valued most about your mother was her lasting friendship. No matter how much time had passed since we had last seen each other, she always managed to pick up the thread.
What always impressed both Tom and I was her love and support of your father, her pride in both of her boys, and her "over the moon" absolute delight in her grandchildren .
xo
Patti and Tom Lynch
Mary-Jane O'Halloran
16 November 2020
Dear family members
I offer you my sincere sympathy coping with your loss of Valerie. She was so friendly and kind to me and other Waeg tennis friends by inviting us all to a delicious tea each December for her sister Donna at Pauline's house on Coburg road. She and Dan will be missed greatly.
The obituary photo portrayed her lovely smile and warm personality.
Please convey my best wishes to Donna who I hope is managing alright.
All my best wishes at this sad time.
Mary-Jane O'Halloran
Beverly Postl
15 November 2020
There will only ever be one Val ! Aren’t I one of the lucky ones who got to call her a best friend in oh so many ways over a 50 year journey!! Nothing could match the bond we formed- - our laughter, our silliness, highs and lows, and confidences as only trusted friends can share . I will cherish and feel blessed that you came into my life, and will remain in my heart always.😢❤️
And, how beyond proud and deeply moved she would be to recognize how totally committed Peter, Paula, and Craig have been to her care and comfort over these last few difficult years. In all the years I’ve shared with her, I NEVER heard anything but pride and admiration and ear-to-ear smiles when she spoke of them. But then again, who would have expected anything less from them. Hearts of compassion,
commitment, love, and fun. God bless.
Peter O'Brien
15 November 2020
Video recording of funeral service available here:
https://youtu.be/tCyv0C-pQeQ
Service booklet with order and texts available here:
https://bit.ly/3nurkp4
(copy and paste links into your browser)
Carole McDougall
14 November 2020
To Peter, Craig and families
I lived across the street on Beech St and knew you as neighbours. But I also saw Valerie and Dan in the community and at events as well as during times when they were with some of their dearest friends. We laughed together.
Today at the service I heard Peter say that people have been telling him about Valerie’s beauty and smile as well as her warmth. I knew those qualities as well. She was always smiling and wanting to catch up. When they moved back to Halifax I saw them at NSCAD events and know they were both so well regarded during Dan’s tenure. It was a rescue mission that they both undertook with grace, wisdom and passion.
The service today was a beautiful tribute and I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to stay and pay respects afterwards. But this is a difficult time. I hope my few words bring some comfort as you mourn your loss. Too soon to lose both of them. I will cherish her smile.
Sincerely
Carole McDougall
Patrick Malcolmson
14 November 2020
Our thoughts and prayers go the O'Brien family as we remember the warmth and love of Valerie, and all she brought to our lives at St. Thomas University. Please accept our deepest condolences on your loss. She was a great lady.
Patrick and Sylvia Malcolmson
Beth McIsaac
13 November 2020
Dear Peter & Craig,
The last time I saw you both was at your Dad's funeral. I am sorry not to greet you due to the pandemic.
I will always remember your Mom's beautiful smile and gracious countenance. It was wonderful for me to know your Mom and Dad again through their time at AST.
Cousins are close and such was the way of the O'Briens.
It is difficult to lose your last parent. I am thinking of you both with great fondness and care.
With heartfelt sympathy,
Beth McIsaac daughter of the late Marie McIsaac
Cheryl Harris
13 November 2020
Valerie was a beautiful person, so genuine and gracious. Our condolences to Reg, Pauline, Lindsay, Sara, Nick and their families, and all of Valerie’s family and friends. You remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Peter O’Brien
13 November 2020
Msgr. Brian Henneberry, VG
12 November 2020
Dear Peter and Craig,
I was very sorry to read of your mother’s death. I always had the greatest respect for her, as I did for your father. They made a beautiful couple and shared so much, so generously, with so many. I am sorry that I cannot attend her wake because of a previous commitment, but I will offer Morning Prayer for her on the day of her funeral.
Msgr. Brian
Wendy Rees
12 November 2020
Dear Peter, Paula and Craig
Eli and I were so sorry to read of Val’s passing. We enjoyed many years of friendship and many many tennis games on Shaw Island. Valerie was always such a sweet, happy outgoing gracious lady and always added a spark to any type of gathering. We have certainly missed her the last few years on the island and our wonderful lobster dinners with her and Dan at both our homes.
Our deep condolences to you and your families.
We are staying fairly isolated on Shaw Island during this year and are severely limiting outside exposure so unfortunately will not see you at the visitation or funeral. We will plan a visit to the columbarium here in Chester.
With sympathy
Wendy and Eli Rees
Margaret Anne Smith
12 November 2020
Dear Peter and Craig and family
Please accept condolences from your father's cousin, Sylvia (O'Brien) Smith and family, of Saint John. Our mother remembers Valerie as a warm and gracious woman, and so enjoyed reconnecting with Dee and Valerie during their years in Fredericton. They were a much-loved and marvellous couple and the world is a better place for their generous presence among us.
kevin o'brien
11 November 2020
Valerie is the widow of my cousin Dr Daniel O'Brien, son of uncle Jim and brother of Ross and Nancy, who died way too soon. I met Valerie several times: at Dee's installation as president of St Thomas University, the beginning of his extraordinary 16 year tenure; then at Dee's wake in 2016, where I met their sons Peter and Father Craig. And in between these occasions, one happy and one sad, my wife Sandra and I met Dee and Valerie at the Catholic Church in Chester, where we chatted for lengthy periods, which Valerie patiently bore. I was impressed always with Valerie's beauty, her graciousness, and her classy bearing. Like my Sandra. The O'Briens can be very lucky.
Erin OBrien Edmonds
11 November 2020
My sincere condolences to Peter and Craig for your loss. My father, Brian O'Brien, now age 89, is a cousin to your father, Daniel William Paul O'Brien who we called "D". We often chatted with D and Valerie after church in Chester each summer. They were both beautiful people. They always made time to say hello and were so gracious. I also remember the Hart family through my spouse's family -the Edmonds of Waverley who danced with the Harts over the years. This world is smaller that we know. I will always remember our family connections.
Susan and Jim Gould
11 November 2020
Dear Peter and Craig,
Jim and I and loved your Mom and Dad and we have such fond memories of our times together with them and Paula and David. Please know our thoughts and hearts are with you and yours. Valerie and Dan were truly blessed to have you both. May your Mom's beautiful spirit surround you always.
Sincerely,
Sue and Jim Gould
Linda Macintosh
11 November 2020
I have such great memories of Valerie at Shaw Island and our many golf and lunch days. She was so bright, happy, loving ,active and sweet.
I would love to see everyone this week, but I may not get out . I don’t drive at night.
I want you to know how much I valued her friendship and I know what a wonderful mother and grandmother she was. You have my sincere sympathy.
Cynthia Pilichos
10 November 2020
I was saddened to read of the passing of Valerie. She was a lovely person - the beautifully expressed obituary captured her perfectly. I extend condolences to Peter, Craig, and family, knowing that the example Valerie set and the memories you hold dear will sustain you all at this sad time, In deepest sympathy,
Cynthia Pilichos
Jim and Maureen O'Sullivan
10 November 2020
We were so sorry to learn of Valerie's passing. We were neighbours of the O'Briens in Fredericton: they lived just around the corner. Jim as Vice-President Finance and Administration for UNB has dealings with Dan who could always get St. Thomas's way with charm -- and maybe a bit of wile. Valerie was without doubt the most wonderful hostess and companion, with her unmatchable ability to make you feel the most important person in town. She joined everything, and made each one the better for it. We missed Valerie and Dan when they left -- and we still do. Our most sincere condolences to the family -- and to all her friends who feel the loss as we do.
Carol Quigley Measham
10 November 2020
With great sadness I send our condolences to Valeries’s family for her most untimely passing. A friend from the QEH days, and although I’ve not seen her for over 50 years, the memories remain. She was a wonderful woman and will be sorely missed by all. Carol & Tony
Jnice William
10 November 2020
My mother, Margaret Chisholm, spoke fondly of your mother in the years she was your babysitter. So sorry for your loss. Janice Williams (Chisholm).
Brian and Janice Flemming
10 November 2020
To Peter O’Brien and family: Janice and I send our sincerest sympathy on Valerie’s passing. She always brought her infectious joy into every life she touched. Janice particularly loved playing tennis with her. Best, Brian Flemming
Ilkay Silk
10 November 2020
I would like to extend my condolences to the friends and family of Valerie. I was very lucky to know her and Dan at their time at St Thomas University. She was a huge supporter of theatre at the university and she knew how important it was to have the performing arts as part of a liberal arts education. She hosted students at her home in Fredericton and made them feel part of the 'STU family' She was always gracious and always kind. RIP Valerie. Ilkay Silk
patrick moriarty
10 November 2020
Hope to meet family members following the service.
Was unable to locate send for a longer tribute.
Patrick Moriarty
Barrie MacFarlane
10 November 2020
I knew Valerie and Dan for over 50 years and will always be grateful for their professional and personal relationship . My wife Karen and I always admired them as a couple.
We will cherish their memory always.
Barrie MacFarlane
Jacqueline Pace
10 November 2020
I was very sad to hear of Valaries death. She was such a gracious woman and a true partner to Dan. She now rests in peace.
Peter O'Brien
10 November 2020
Gretchen McCurdy
10 November 2020
My sincere condolences to Val's sons. As neighbours, we developed a special friendship with your parents, Val and Dan. I also knew Valerie when she attended St. Stephen's Church in Chester. Your Mum was a warn-hearted, vibrant individual who I remember fondly. We have lost wonderful neighbours. I think of Val frequently as I walk up and down Eisnor Road and out to Shaw's Island. May you find peace in your memories.
Gretchen McCurdy
Peter O'Brien
10 November 2020