
Helen Alyce D’Alfonso was described as vibrant and full of life by all who met her. At the age of 91, she was still independent, still playing the piano, still debating major issues of the day, still enjoying friends and family, and most importantly still playing with her dog.
In May she had a massive stroke and her life changed in the blink of an eye. She put up a valiant fight until the end when she finally let go on October 14, 2022.
Helen was born in a small coal mining town in Pennsylvania. Her father John R. Jones was a mechanic at the coal mine, and her mother Elsie was a teacher. Her brother Jack, and sister Dottie were important to her all her life. Helen discovered the love of music, and love of dogs at a very young age and those two things would continue until the end.
Helen went to Duquesne University where two very important things happened: she earned her degree and she met Edward D’Alfonso, the man she would go through the next part of her life.
Helen and Ed were married in Monessen, PA, in 1954, in the Catholic Church surrounded by extended sides of both family and all their friends from college. Helen converted to Catholicism, at first to be able to be married in the Catholic Church, but she became a devoted Catholic for her life.
Soon after, Ed joined the United States Air Force and Helen started her life as a USAF wife, except hers had a twist. All USAF are used to frequent moves and finding new jobs in each new town, and she did that, but over the years Ed became the Commander/Conductor of the USAF Band, and with that Helen’s role became part of the dignitaries at events. Especially when they were stationed in Spain and Germany, Helen would be a school teacher by day and seated at the head table in formal attire by night.
Helen taught at each assignment primarily as a music teacher but if that position wasn’t available, she would teach elementary grade classes. Helen also would continue with her love of the theatre and star in countless plays and musicals. Helen always stole the show. Her last production was when she was in her late 80s and she was the dancing grandmother in the Nutcracker Suite at the Ferguson Center. She was remarkable and the crowd loved her, as they always did. And the love of dogs continued no matter where they we assigned. Helen always had a dog or sometimes 2 and there was a brief time that she had 3.
Helen also loved to travel and would take any opportunity to see the world. Since Ed was frequently away while stationed in Europe, Helen and her daughter Debbie would travel far and wide to see it all.
Helen never missed an opportunity to experience life. How many people can say that a matador offered mom the opportunity to wear his jacket – and of course she did!
Helen also played a piano duet with Ed with the full USAF band playing behind them. She was dressed in a shimmery gown and looked very Hollywood. She frequently played the piano for the chorus, choirs, and plays. In one play the pianist was on stage for the entire show playing all the music and acting, and Helen agreed to do it as long as she could be included in the tap dancing lessons with the dancers. Her tap shoes are still in her closet.
Helen was hardly ever home, even in her 90s, because she was out enjoying adventures and people. That part never changed.
In 1994 she joyously celebrated the arrival of her first grandson, David. Helen and Ed were in love with David and took the role of grandparents on with great gift-giving. Sadly, three months later, Ed passed away suddenly. She held onto the joy of being a grandparent and found new things to be involved in and always had her dogs as companions. But unquestionably there was a sudden emptiness in her life.
A very interesting thing happened that would become a very big part of her future. Ed had been connected to the Christopher Newport University Department of Music in a supportive way. Ed was very excited to have a top-tier music program in Newport News. When he passed, the family set up the Edward D’Alfonso Music Scholarship to help fund young musicians. Helen because active in Friends and Family which raised funds to support the music school and became an adjunct professor primarily teaching future music teachers. On one of her evaluations, a student wrote, “She makes it fun to come to class and she doesn’t make me feel bad when, clearly, I don’t know what I am doing.”
In recent years, Helen created the Helen D’Alfonso Music Scholarship so that in her passing, more students could get financial support. The Department of Music at CNU has accomplished so much, helping young students learn and excel.
Helen has enjoyed going to the Scholarship Appreciation Luncheons and spending time with the students who are recipients of the scholarships. Each recipient has written her a letter and she has kept every single one over 28 years.
For the 28 years she was a widow, she was not a sad person at all. Granddaughter, Taylor came and both grandchildren brought her so much joy. She enjoyed her time with them and enjoyed their accomplishments because they gave her “grandmother bragging right.” She would reach into her pocket to give them money to make sure they weren’t “without” particularly when they went to college. Helen grew up during the Great Depression and certainly knew first hand what it meant to “go without” and she never wanted her grandchildren to feel that they would have to go without. She never wanted them to feel like they were less than someone else. Ed’s dying wish was that she saves money to help pay for college tuition and she did exactly that.
In her last few years, especially since COVID, she preferred to stay home but she was not alone. She and her dog could be seen at any point in the day talking with neighbors, who were very, very special to her. She would go to social events with the dog club, bridge club or just out with friends for a meal. Friends, family, and a faithful dog always at her side.
The family wants to thank all of her friends and staff that have been apart of her support and care for the last five months. It has been a difficult time, but the family is very thankful for your kindness.
In ending, when Helen was still in ICU, she said to her daughter, “You’ll be happy to know that your mom and dad will be together soon.” Her daughter asked, “What will it be like?” and Helen replied, “It will be wonderful.”
Helen is survived by daughter, Debra Le Moal; son-in-law, Richard Le Moal; grandson, David and granddaughter, Taylor.
In lieu of flowers please consider donating to HELEN D’ALFONSO SCHOLARSHIP, checks payable to CNUEF: mail to CNU, University Advancement, 1 Avenue of the Arts, Newport News, VA 23606. Questions can be directed to Kim 757 594 8097.
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