Hi Mom, 

I see Ron just wrote to you. So here I am.  Sibling rivalry.  No, Ron and I have no rivalry.  You taught us each to be who we are and admire the other.

Your funeral, as if you didn't notice, was a beautiful send off to your new life. We cried and we laughed as all of us recounted Life with Claire. You left all of us stronger and better.  Keep in touch, Mom.  

Howie

Mom
Just thinking of you and some of the wonderful times we shared as well as the rich legacy you left.
                 Ron

Hi Mom
Flying to New York to "see you off" is so sad in so many ways but as Howie has so beautifully written you have already gone to a whole new and exciting world. 
Sorting through your photos and other belongings has brought back so many fabulous memories of the richness of your life on earth and reminded me of how much you gave not only to Howie and me but to so many others. You left this world a much better place having given so much more then you took. 
Howie expressed our sentiments so beautifully! Thanks for everything and the unselfish giving that was a hallmark of your life.
   Love,
       Ron

Hi Mom, I don't know whether or not it's a defense mechanism for grief or it's an absolute reality,   but heaven seems as real as any place I've never been.  I have no doubt it exists. I know you live there now.  Though I don't plan on visiting you soon, who knows?  I don't think you need to be visited anymore.  You're everywhere now.  Spirits and souls have no boundaries. Still, I do imagine you've acquired a spanking new body, as has Daddy, and the two of you are starting over. This time there will be no pinching pennies as in the post WW2 era, though truth is Ron and I were never as rich as we were in those early years. We had no money,  but we had it all. You made sure of that. I'm still blessed with a wonderful Mom, a wonderful Dad and the world's best Brother.  Speaking of Ron,  on his trip home he had a layover in Japan. Last night he sent a photo of the airport capsule he was sleeping in at the airport. The day before, he was hosing down an elephant in India.  You used to wonder why Ron and Phyllis travelled incessantly. I think I know the answer. Ron loves to be fascinated and he is constantly looking for the next source of fascination.  He's quite like you.  

Love, 
Howie

I first met Claire when I was 16 years old, after my family moved to Florida.  She and Leonard came to my parents house for dinner.  My father was teasing me about something, which was his sense of humor.  Claire immediately stood up for me and told him in no uncertain terms that it had to stop!  From that point on she was my favorite cousin. We were close ever since. She will be sorely missed!

Claire was my cousin and my wonderful friend. After our husband's passed away, I often would drive up to Delray and spend weekends with her.  We would gamble, go shopping and have wonderful "girl times". She can never be replaced in my heart.  Whenever I sent her a card or a note, I always wrote love you and miss you.  I certainly will miss her now.

For what it's worth,  here's how I see it Ron.  Mom's long-lived-in body is in a nice container and it will soon be lowered into the earth.  She no longer lives there.  She's moved on to bigger and better things.  So I don't see her in two places.  I see her in heaven.   Mom has shed her 96 year old body and has acquired a new one.  She has earned it.  Why should she stick with a 96 year old clunker when she can easily afford a brand new body with all of the bells and whistles?   She DOES feel very close though.  I think that's because heaven is a huge chunk of real estate and might even dip beneath the clouds in places.  

Admittedly, I was a horrible student in Hebrew School (left back in my second year) so my way of seeing things may not completely coordinate with religious teachings.  Nevertheless I see it as I see it and it makes complete sense to me. 

Howie

Dear Mom
It's very confusing. You are still here but you are also there. You always insisted that you couldn't be in two places at once. Was that a put on?
I also realized that you unknowingly left a stuffed cabbage legacy in the Utah freezer. Eating those long frozen gems will have special meaning. Something more profound then freezer burn.
I hope we can find your cookie press. The one that squirted out those weird shaped cookies. 
Hopefully you are settling in and finding peace in your new surroundings.

   Ron

Ron and Howie and family: Sunnie and I  are very saddened to hear of your mom's passing. She was a very special person and we feel honored to have known her. Jay & Sunnie Michelstein

... and another wonderful e-mail for you:


Dear Ron, Phyllis and Howie and family,
It's a sad news that I have heard about Grandma. I don't believe that she already left us. I still cherish her smiling face and her kindness to me and still have very fond memory about her and the time I spent with her and Ron and Phyllis. It's was also sad that I have thought that I can have an opportunities to see her in a near future when I could travel to US again and to celebrate her 100th birthday, because I always see her still healthy, she was actually very healthy and clear-minded when we met a few year ago in HCM city. But now, I cannot see her again anymore, how sad!  
Please accept my condolences to the whole family for the lost of our lovely grandma. I wish that she will rest peacefully in the Heaven!
With all my love,
Ai-Phuong

Hi Mom,  Ron and I are getting e-mails for you. I'm passing them on:

Howie, so sorry to hear about Claire. You know she was very near and dear to me as she was like a second mother to me as I practically grew up in your apartment on DeKalb Avenue. She will be sorely missed. 

Alan (cousin)



I can't stop thinking about your mother. Claire was such a wonderful woman - so kind, insightful and intelligent. It was always enjoyable spending time with her. I loved her dearly and will truly miss her. But I think that we can all take comfort in the fact that she lived a long, full, and healthy life. She was very lucky to have two wonderful, loving sons who made sure she was well cared for - and we were all lucky to have had her in our lives. 
 
Gail (Ron's partner)



I was so saddened, again, when I got your e-mail. I had called your mother a few times since your visit to San Francisco when we met at the FerryBuilding. I so enjoyed talking with her. She was one of my favorite people.  My last few calls were never returned so I assumed she had past away many months ago and felt so badly. Seemed likemost ofthe people who were important to me since childhood were now gone. She always mentioned how wonderful her grandchildren and sons and their spouses were to her. She felt comfortable and grateful knowing that you and Phyllis were so nearby.

Your parents were a very special couple. I don't know if you remember that your dad helped me buy a gold pocket watch for Butch as my engagement present to him. Every time Butch wears it I think of your dad and how kind he was.

I enjoyed seeing your pictures and have a few of my own that I thought might bring back some memories. We had some really great times as kids in Shenorock. 

I hope that you will find comfort in knowing that your mom meant so much to so many people, including myself.

Hank (Butch) and I are so sorry for your loss.

Fondly,
Cookie


Ron,
I loved your mom as did Alan. The visit we had when Alan was ill was truly special and I have never forgotten it. my sincerest condolences to you and the family. I will definitely be there on the 7th. If I can do anything on this end, please let me know.

Much love, Harriet

(the Alan referred to here is Alan Goldin)


Hello my friend

 So, so very  sorry to hear about your loss.
She was quite a
lady.
I have very good memories of her in Lake Tahoe in 2011.
I had the  good
fortune of spending some fun time with her walking around the casino and her
winning the famous "patio chair'
My thoughts and blessings are with you.
I owe
you a big hug when I see you

With love and many
blessings,

Chris


I hope Howie realizes that it was time for her to go and she wanted to go.
There is an other side. I'm sure.


Dan Gleason

(Dan is a sportswriter with nephew pitching for the Baby Bombers on Staten Island.)

Dearest Claire,

I never had the pleasure of meeting you in person, but feel I would have extremely enjoyed the pleasure of your company.  Howie has related such lovely things about your personality, life's work, and life's joys.  Just knowing that your boys were your pride and joy tells me what a great and loving mother you were.  Couple your sons' succcesses with your accomplishments and you have left quite a legacy.  

May your entire family enjoy all the memories of times spent together here on earth, and find the peace and love you all deserve until you are all once again together for eternity.

Hi Mom
Hope I didn't wake you or interrupt your moving in. 
Howie and I are respecting your every wish just as we did through the last few months of your life. You so often said once you and Dad were gone Howie and I would have each other. We would be the family. We are each in good hands and will always watch after and be there for each other. That is a promise. 
We will spend a day in NY together  before you are put to rest beside Dad. Perhaps we'll together walk from DeKalb Ave to PS 94 and JHS 80. Sort of do the old neighborhood tour and share thoughts of our childhood and remember you . I actually often thought as a child that you spent more time at my schools then I did. You were always being called in to answer for my behavior Don't know if I ever thanked you for always bailing me out.
It is sort of odd writing to you in heaven  before you are laid to rest
Be good and say hello to Dad. I think we need to see if we can get him his own Guest Book
    Ron

Hello Claire,  I want you to know that you raised a fine, fine son in Howie (but you already knew that) and that we are lucky he is in our lives.  I hope you're giving English lessons as I type but please tell my Dad that I finally realize it is "may I speak to Mom?" not "can I speak to Mom?"  You two, I am sure, are getting along just fine.  Rest peacefully and know from all the things that Howie and Sheila have told me, you were well loved, and still are.

Hi Mom Claire,

My Dad taught me to not look a gift horse in the mouth so here's a candle for you. It was free. Enjoy.

Shabbat Shalom

Sheila

Hi Mom, I just finished your extended 2014 tax return ...
Hey, what am I thinking?  You couldn't care less!  No more taxes for you. No paperwork. No bills. No broken phones. No broken appliances. No modems. No DMV. 
You REALLY are in heaven!

Love,

Howie

Dear Mom
I hope you arrived safely at your next stop and soon find Daddy. It's been a long wait for him but he always was a patient man. His long wait meant that we had you for so many more great years. I feel so fortunate to have had you as my Mom for all those years and to have shared so many wonderful rich experiences. You had a great run of an amazingly healthy 96 years. I hope you left some of those genes around for Howie and me. 
While you are only gone a few days you are sorely missed. Knowing over the past few months that the end was almost upon us didn't really soften the jolt of your passing. The reality of the inevitable was horribly sad. I will always remember our last days together. I'd show up to feed you each day trying to convince you that you had to eat since so many children the world over were starving. I felt pointing out that reality might help. I'm sure you remember wanting me to clean your plate because the children in Europe are starving. I didn't see the relationship between my getting fat and other kids starving. To this day I can't fathom how I helped any European child. Nevertheless I gave it a try with you.  
There are just so many wonderful memories of childhood, school years, and sharing so many experiences including our shared love of travel. There is so much to write about and thank you for. I'll write more over time 
When we did our Mother and Son trip to Croatia and France and you were absolutely incorrigible thinking out loud and verbally sharing every thought as I tried to drive that horrible road between Dubrovnik and Split I asked you to please think quietly so I might avoid an accident. You indignantly told me that someday I'd miss that voice. I agreed but said that wasn't the day. Well now I do miss your voice. 
I miss not only your voice but most of all you. Will always love you.
                   Ron

Dear Mom Claire,

You will be forever loved and forever missed.  Thank you for enriching our lives.  I will take good care of your "baby".
In spite of Ron's insistence, Howie is NOT a "dumb baby" ...at least most of the time. 

I'm sending 3 photos:

1) The family collage because I know how much you    cherish your family.
2) Your boys at Bar Mitzvah
3) You and boys fishing at City Island

Shabbat shalom.

Love, 
Sheila

P.S. I'm sorry Howie was late for his Bar Mitzvah. I know you've never gotten over that.

Hi Mom, I hate to keep interrupting you. I realize you're now enjoying all of the new sights and sounds of heaven,  Probably you've already met the best Scrabble players.  But still, on 10-7-15, we mere mortals will be at Sharon Gardens for an 11 AM send-off. Sister Phyllis called. She and Sam will be there too. I'll send your regards. Keep in touch.  Please don't forget us. We'll NEVER forget you.

Love,

Howie

Hi Mom,  It's me again.  I'm sending two more photos for your album up there.  One is a bigger one of your honeymoon in 1941 and the other is you and Ron in 1943.

Love, 

Howie

Hi Mom.  You're where we all hope to go some day.  How's Daddy doing?  For the last few months you fought so hard to stay here with us. Thank you. Ninety six years is quite a run and you ran the race so well. Bravo! 

I'm enclosing a photo of you at your desk at Wade. Enjoy.

Love,

Howie

P.S. I'm sure you'll soon hear from Ron, Phyllis, and Sheila so keep an eye on the guest book.

OBITUARY

Claire R. Friedman

31 July, 1919 – 24 September, 2015

Riverside Memorial Chapel - Hawthorne

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