Andre & Irene Ruben

I want to Thank everyone for coming. I would like to say I am going to make this short and sweet, However I will be not just about my favorite memories of my mother and Andre but I will also be speaking on behalf of Tanya, Gary and for those that were not able to make it here today.

My mother, what can I say? She was one of a kind. I remember when I was a teenager we would be out at the mall shopping, she would wander off and I would call out MOM mom!! Mom would wander around completely ignoring me so then I would say " Mother!! Mother Irene! She would shout out hush up daughter I am not a nun!! Around 12 years ago or so. My Husband at the time and I surprised mom with a trip to Hawaii. We spent a few days in Oahu and a week in Kauai. Not 20 minutes into the flight I wondered what the hell I had gotten myself into. Tom was sitting to the left of me and mom to my right.Neither one of them brought anything to read. So I am reading a book and realize they are both looking over my shoulder reading my book as well and I could not turn the page until they were both done reading. Suffice it to say I bought them both their own book to read for the return flight home. It was a fun trip for mom. She and her cameras had us all over Kauai showing me the places we would go to when we lived there when I was just a little girl. I got to see the beaches we would visit the house we lived in on the beach the gas station they would go to. She even had me walk two blocks from the house we lived in to the grocery store that we would shop at with her camera in one hand and video camera in the other hand . I could hear her narrating .... this was the house we lived in and here is the beach. It was cute. She was so excited like a little kid. A memory I will always cherish.

Andre , He was a good man. He was always kind and patient with my mom. I am very grateful that he was in my mom's life. About a year and a half ago I called my mom and she was sleeping. Not sure how we got on the subject but I told Andre I was planning a trip to Oregon to see my boys. He got all excited for me and started telling me stories about the time he and I mother lived in Oregon. Before I knew it we were on the phone for almost 2 1/2 hours. I was stunned.

“Mama Goose Is On The Loose“

Tanya’s Eulogy for Her Mother

Andre passed away on October 30, 2020. My mom said to me, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m going to be alone.” I told her, “No, Mama Goose. Gary and I are going to come to live with you. You won’t be alone.” She was very relieved to hear this. I didn’t want to put my mom into a home, even though she had previously told me that, when it was time, that would be OK with her. We would have had Mama Goose come live with us in Corona, but we have a two-story condo and Mama Goose couldn’t easily go up and down the stairs.

Once Gary and I got settled into the house in Murrieta, she asked me, “Did you ever think that you and I would be living together again, just you and I?” I asked, “What about Gary?” She responded, “He doesn’t count, he’s a boy. Plus, he’s always in that office. It’s just you and me hanging out all day.”

Because of her dementia, my mom was always hungry. Right after we would eat a meal, Mama Goose would clap her hands together and say, “What do we have that’s good to eat?” She would usually add, “I could really go for some fish, or maybe some soup.” I would tell her that she had to wait two hours until her next snack. She would then do one of three things: call me a butt nut (Gary taught her to say this), refer to me as her “bossy daughter”, or start yelling at me in Dutch. All of the yelling she did in Dutch helped jog my memory, as I had forgotten most of my Dutch over the years, although when I was much younger I could understand most of what she and Andre were saying to each other. Gary and I even went online to a language learning site called Duolingo to start brushing up on our Dutch skills. Mama Goose would listen in and help us with our pronunciation along the way.

But enough about Dutch, back to Mama Goose and her snacking. She would wait until I left the room, then get up and wander over to the refrigerator or cupboard to get another snack. This became so regular that Gary and I developed a code phrase we would say when she did this: MG is OTL. Mama Goose is on the loose!

“Speaking Dutch and Gado Gado“

Tanya’s Eulogy for Andre

When my mom was with her first husband, she never spoke Dutch in the house because her first husband was an Irish Marine from Pennsylvania who couldn’t speak or understand a lick of it.

I was about 11 years old when my mom met Andre, who later became known as “Papa Goose”. They spoke Dutch to each other all the time, and began to translate everything they said in Dutch into English for me. One day, they were talking about me in Dutch and I repeated what they had said back to them. They said, “OK, it looks like we can’t talk about her in Dutch anymore.”

Andre used to make gado gado almost every night. I eventually wanted nothing to do with “peanut sauce”. I later came to find out that he only made that every night because he thought I loved it! Don’t get me wrong, I did love it the first 30 days, but the next 30 years, not so much.

That said, in honor of mom and Andre, Travis made chicken satay with peanut sauce for us over the weekend. Needless to say, I am no longer sick of peanut sauce.

Big Kmac’s Eulogy:

Hi, my name is Kevin. I apologize I wasn’t able to make it here today because of some health issues.

I’m the youngest son of the 4 kids, and the best looking of course.

I wanted to share a favorite memory of my mother.

When I was a teenager, I was sitting in the family room watching Beavis and Butt- head, when I heard my mom and my older brother Travis arguing about who knows what in his bed room. Probably his extra small dirty speedo on the floor NEXT to the hamper. Then I heard my mom scream real loud. Worried about my mom, thinking maybe my brother might be going TYBO on her, I ran to his bed room only to see Travis flying in the air and into the shelves on the wall after my mom round housed kicked him and put him in check! It was a cool sight for a little brother. And made a great story that of course I told everyone.

Rest well mom. I love you and miss you so much!

“Wednesday Date Night”

Gary’s Tribute to Irene Ruben

After Andre passed away, Tanya cut down her work schedule to just one day per week. Eventually, Wednesday became her regular work day at the Banfield pet hospital in Lake Forest. Tanya’s long-time friend, Lia, would stay in the house and look after Irene as I took my business calls and did my emails.

In the late afternoon Lia would cook a light meal for Irene and I. We got to hang out, just the two of us, for several hours until Tanya got home from work. I told Irene, “Mama Goose, it’s just you and me hanging out until Tanya gets home”. After a while, I would ask her, “Mama Goose, you ready to hang?”. She would respond, “Yeah, I’m hangin’.”

I’d flip on the TV but she really didn’t have interest in much of anything. I tried nature shows, news, even some sports, but nothing much captured her imagination. We did get a chance to chat about animals, what kind of pets we liked, and she even made some comments about a basketball game I was watching one time. She said, “Wow! That guy is really good!”, but still, there wasn’t much on TV that really excited her.

Things began to change in May. Once everyone in our household got vaccinated for Covid, Tanya was more comfortable with me getting Irene out of the house. I told Lia that I would start doing dinner with Irene. At first we would just go through a drive through. She liked a local Mexican place called El Burro. They have good tacos and she loved their Chicken Tortilla soup. She really loved soup! We would also hit Carl’s Jr. for a burger and fries or El Pollo Loco for a chicken bowl.

Just this past month, things started opening up more in California. Tanya was more comfortable with me sitting down with Irene inside a restaurant. The first place we went was El Burro. Mama Goose ordered her Chicken Tortilla soup and even got another order to go. As I said before, she really liked soup!

“Aunt Phyliss’ Chicken”

Gary’s Tribute to Andre Ruben

Andre had his restaurants that he liked: Blue Water Grill for Seafood, a local all-you-can eat Asian buffet in Murrietta, and Farmer Boys for breakfast, just to name a few. Tanya and I hosted Thanksgiving a couple of times at our condo in Corona. For Thanksgiving I would go to a local restaurant that did a packaged Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings. These weren’t spectacular Thanksgiving meals, but they got the job done. Everyone understood that doing a traditional Thanksgiving spread is a major undertaking, and I simply didn’t (and still don’t) have the chops for that. For Christmas one year I decided that I would break out a family recipe that I had done only a couple of times before--Aunt Phyliss’ Chicken.

Before we continue about Aunt Phyliss’ Chicken you need to understand that I don’t typically cook anything more complicated than spaghetti, heating something up in the microwave, or heating up a can of soup. There are a grand total of two things that are relatively involved that I’ve dared to try--a ceviche recipe I found online from Emeril Legasse, and Aunt Phyliss’ Chicken. My Aunt Phyliss is an excellent cook, and my mom would occasionally make Aunt Phyliss’ Chicken when I was a kid. It was always a big hit.

Close your eyes for a moment and contemplate the following: chunks of chicken soaked in egg wash, rolled in Italian seasoned bread crumbs and lightly sauteed in olive oil. Diced mushrooms, squeezed lemon, chicken broth, with Muenster cheese on top. Bake in a shallow casserole for 30 minutes @ 350 degrees. Yum!

The first Christmas I tried this for Andre and Irene I went all out. My daughter Jessica helped me with everything, including homemade mashed potatoes, fresh bread, fresh veggies...the whole shebang. I was quite proud of how everything turned out, but you don’t know for sure until you get feedback from your guests.

Dinner was served. I was able to relax a bit for the first time in several hours and tried to get a read on how everyone was enjoying it. Andre didn’t speak up...he just kept eating! I had never seen the man eat like this and was somewhat surprised as he happily went back for seconds. I had only made a single casserole and we easily polished that off that first Christmas.

So, for every Christmas thereafter at our house, Aunt Phyliss’ Chicken was served. I started doing a double portion so Andre and Irene could take some home each time. We didn’t have Andre with us this last Christmas, our first without him, but once again, Aunt Phyliss’ Chicken was served in his honor.

My Name is Travis McAninch and I am Irene’s Oldest son. Admittingly not the best looking, however, I was constantly reminded by her that I was her favorite son. So today I would like to share some of my memories of Irene, AKA Mama Goose, or as I always called her mom.

We first met back in the 70’s, she seemed so big to me back then, but then again she was always larger than life. Those times were filled with wonderful memories of Miniature Golf, Swimming, Camping and Dilly bars from the Dairy Queen.

Then came the 80’s. And as many of you here may or may not know, Unbelievably, I was not always the angel who stands before you now. I made poor choices, worse decisions, and ultimately by the time the 90’s came around I was at the lowest point in my life.

It was at this time that mom finally convinced me to accept the help that had been offered to me. With her help and the help of others, which she coordinated, I was able to finally get my life turned around and at least take the first steps towards becoming the man I am today. I will be forever grateful for that.

I will always remember her great sense of humor, her silly giggle, and the way she just always seemed so happy. As well as the way she was able to spread that happiness around like it was contagious. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother and She will be missed dearly by myself and Missey, as well as my 3 children Dalton, Holden, and Avery Rose. I Love You Mom and I am honored to be your favorite son.

To Andre,

You were the reason for that happiness that my mom spread around like candy. Until she met you she wasn’t quite as outgoing, self-confident and again “happy” as she was after meeting you. I suppose that with all your love and knowledge of gardening you were also able to make those not quite blossomed qualities really take off and bloom in my mom. I would like to thank you for everything you have done for her, as well as for being part of that coordinated help that I mentioned earlier. May you both rest in peace. Thank you.

I have one...i think I told you...I have more I hafta think tho lol

So Andre worked at British motors and was going to give my dad some tires for his car. We met Andre on the weekend over at his work. He open the door and we walk through the offices and through the warehouse where there was some British cars stored. He opened them and we got to sit in them was so cool...I was like 10. Some time had passed and we went to the back to go get the tires and my dad pulled around to the back and we started loading the tires into my dad's car when we heard a siren. We turned around and two cop cars were there. The officers were wondering what we were doing putting these tires in the back of my dad's car think we were stealing them. They took Andre aside and he had to explain to the officers that he worked there and we ordered the tires and we are putting them in the back of his brothers car. They soon left and we asked Andre what happened. He forgot to disarm the alarm in the office so it triggered and the police came LOL

I remember many things that I did with dad when I was little. Most memorable is that he would often tell a story before tucking me in for the night. He would ask me what story I wanted him to tell and then he made up stories that were completely off the cuff. They could be funny, sad, scary.......or a combination. I was enthralled. Years later, as I was telling made up stories to elementary school children, I thought of his stories. I called him and reminded him of how I loved them, and he laughed. He did not think he was creative in any way, but if he heard the stories in the way I heard them, he would know he was. I am thankful that he and Irene found each other, and that he enjoyed the blended family that he had. Much love to them both.

Take care,

Angelique