Harriet Bernice Schaffer

For the first time in over a century, 103 and a half years, the sun rose upon a world without Harriet Bernice Schaffer. She had a long life, so this is a long obituary! She died May 25, 2026, at home, after saying loving goodbyes to her children and close friends. Here are some highlights from her remarkable life.

Harriet Bernice Fried was born in New York City in 1922, and as a child had a pet dog Zookie, which inspired her lifelong love for dogs. Although an only child, she grew up in her mother Henrietta’s large extended family, which became the subject of a popular series of children’s books called All-of-a-Kind Family. Written by Harriet’s aunt Sydney Taylor, it chronicled the acclimatization of Jewish immigrants into American society. She was especially close to her uncle Jerry who was only three years older.

As a child and throughout her life Harriet was an avid reader, loved people-watching and being around people. At age 16, much to her parents’ chagrin, she and a friend hitchhiked across the country to South Dakota and soon after moved to continue her education at the University of Iowa. There she received a BA in Psychology in 1943. She credited her decision to study psychology to the influence of an aunt who worked in a psychiatric unit with children and adults with coping difficulties.

Harriet married Sheldon Schaffer at 19, before he left to serve in World War II, and earned a Master’s degree in Psychology from Columbia University during the war. She abandoned a fledgling but promising career in 1948, yielding to 1940’s societal expectations, with the birth of her daughter and then four sons. The family moved from New England to Birmingham in 1960 for Sheldon’s career, and she lived in Birmingham for the next 66 years.

She started working at UAB’s Spain Rehabilitation Center in 1965, working with patients with spinal injuries, arthritic illnesses, and brain damage, including the late governor George Wallace, and later moved into counseling work. She worked as a psychologist and counselor, including with Family Therapy Associates from 1982 - 2002, and then in private practice, until she retired in 2016 at the tender age of 93 to spend more time with her puppy.

She was politically involved and was a leader advocating for reimbursement, training, and accreditation of counselors in Alabama. At the 1995 Fall Conference meeting of the Alabama Counseling Association (ACA) a group including Harriet established the Alabama Association of Marriage and Family Counselors as a division of the ACA. Governor Don Siegelman appointed Harriet to the recently formed Alabama Board of Examiners in Counseling on which she served from 2001- 2006. She was President of the ACA from 1999 to 2000 and continued helping run their conferences into her nineties.

Under the influence of her children, Harriet developed an interest in natural foods and loved cooking for friends who liked to declare that her table was the best restaurant in Birmingham. Her recipe for granola was legendary, and she prided herself on her magic refrigerator that was always full of goodies for anyone who dropped by. She enjoyed hosting: house guests, meals with friends, dinner parties, and spur of the moment drop-bys. She traveled often, to her children’s sports and performances, to see family, and on international adventures.

Everyone who knew Harriet loved conversing with her and appreciated her compassion and ability to listen. People affectionately called her the Energizer Bunny because of her boundless energy. Until her last month she supported and hosted the local humanistic Jewish congregation Or Hadash’s monthly meetings at her home.

Harriet was married to Sheldon Schaffer for 63 years. She is survived by her dog Becca and five children: Susan Schaffer (Mike Rogan) of McLean, Virginia; Karl Schaffer (Laurel Shastri) of Scotts Valley, California; Daniel Schaffer (Leslie Huang-Schaffer) of Brooklyn, New York; Marc Schaffer (Janeen Faithfull) of Mullaway, Australia; and Jonah Schaffer of Vestavia Hills, Alabama, six grandchildren and seven great grandchildren.

A celebration of life will be held at the end of September, 2026, details to be announced and posted here.