Diana Maxtone-Graham

She was born at the dawn of the television age – on her birthday, June 1, 1939, the first major boxing match was televised – and she died age 86 at the dawn of Artificial Intelligence. “My father would have loved this,” she would say when her son-in-law would click on the self-driving feature in his car. “What will they think of next? A car that can talk to you?”

“Absolutely,” he would say, clicking another button and having the car recite the evening’s dinner menu in Greek, the language she grew up with.

“How marvelous!,” she would exclaim, clapping her hands.

Because for her, life really was marvelous.

She was christened Martha Artemis Taylor, the second of two daughters of Charles Taylor and Marica (nee Ardavany) Taylor. She idolized her father, a Greek immigrant who, according to (probably apocryphal) family lore, jumped ship in New York Harbor with his brother Gregory and swam ashore. His original name was Socrates Gregorios Tavoularis, but it was as the Taylor brothers that they went on to be noted hoteliers in Manhattan, founding the Buckingham, the Montclair, the Dixie, and – their crown jewel – the storied St. Moritz.

Her relationship with her mother, on the other hand, was often strained. “She taught me everything that a mother shouldn’t be,” she would often say.

Along with her sister Helen, Martha grew up in one of their family’s hotels, the Buckingham on West 57th Street, and went to school for 12 years at The Lenox School for Girls – a place she dearly treasured, and from which she was proud to have won the Latin Prize upon graduation. She matriculated to Cornell, followed a young love west to Pomona and then – upon learning that her father had terminal cancer – moved back to the city, ultimately graduating from Finch College.

Martha was an elegant woman, well-schooled in society and a lover of fashion and interior design – indeed, the latter became her career. Yet she was also warm, gracious, solicitous of others, and always generous. In 1963, she married Albert Robert Koehl (always known as Arkie) and with him had two children – Charles and Carla. In 1965, she purchased a residence on East 57th Street. “I grew up on West 57th Street, and moved to East 57th Street,” she’d say. “I guess I didn’t get very far.” She lived there for the remainder of her life.

Arkie and Martha’s marriage ended in divorce in the 1970s, and a few years later she met Michael Maxtone-Graham, who would become the love of her life.

Diana frequently recounted her version of their first blind date. “When I saw him for the first time, I told him that a song went through my head,” she’d say, before singing, “‘I took one look at you. That's all I had to do. And then my heart stood still…’”

“And then,” she would recount, “Michael said, ‘Well, that’s interesting, because a song went through my head too.’

“‘Oh, really?’ I asked.

“‘Yes,” he said. ‘How much is that doggie in the window…?’”

A sense of humor, she would say, is key to a lasting relationship.

When she and Michael married in 1979, she changed more than her last name. “I never liked Martha,” she said. Her middle name, Artemis, on the other hand, translated to Diana in English and so she transformed overnight from Martha Koehl to Diana Maxtone-Graham. The couple spent most of their years together in New York and France, where they had a home in Port Grimaud.

When Michael died in 2020, on their 41st anniversary, Diana was bereft. “Every day,” she would say, “I wake up and think, ‘Another day without Michael.’”

Yet she found solace not only in her memories of Michael but also in her frequent stays on Cape Cod with her daughter and son-in-law along with regular visits from her son who lives in Hawaii. Her final summer was marked at its beginning with an unexpected diagnosis of stage three colon cancer, yet it was also a summer of great joy. While staying at Maplewood at Mill Hill, she spent most of her days with family and friends, enjoying big neighborhood parties, dancing to the Four Seasons, discovering the joys of Bingo, beating most everyone at Scrabble and Gin Rummy, getting lovingly tackled by a Golden Retriever named Bear, and sipping her beloved rosé wine. She died peacefully, her children by her side during her final days.

Diana is survived by her children (Carla Koehl [Tom Keane] of Cape Cod and Charles Koehl [Melanie] of Honolulu); four stepchildren (Jamie Maxtone-Graham [Nguyễn Trinh Thi], Chris Maxtone-Graham, Peter Maxtone-Graham, and Leslie Maxtone-Graham [Cris Lane]); five grandchildren (Colin Binswanger, Samantha Binswanger, Caden Koehl, Clark Koehl, and Lev Koehl); five step grandchildren (Luke Maxtone-Graham, Nick Maxtone-Graham, An Nguyễn Maxtone-Graham, Lauren Keane-Farrell [Paul Libero], and Bryn Keane-Farrell [Carrie Van Allen]); one step-great-grandchild (Claire Libero); her sister Helen Pellegrin [Peter Smith], and two nephews (Blaise Pellegrin and Bertrand Pellegrin).

Diana’s remains will be interred next to those of her late husband, Michael Maxtone-Graham at the Quaker Meeting House Cemetery in South Yarmouth, MA. A memorial service will be held at a future date.

She will be missed and remembered by all.