Barbara Humphrey

Barbara was born 14 March 1944 in Colchester Essex, to Kathleen Barbara Arthey and Cpl. Joseph Edward Clayton who met while Joseph’s regiment was stationed in Colchester during WWII. Kathleen served in the ATS (Auxiliary Territorial Services). Mum was born in the home of her maternal grandparents, William and Edith Arthey, where her mother was living while Grandpa was serving his country during the war. Family history tells of an an air-raid just after Mum’s birth: wee Barbie was scooped up and taken to the shelter: they were already besotted.

Barbara spent the first two years of her life at this home, adored by her grandparents and her Auntie as well as various neighbours in the close-knit street. Her Dad visited when on leave and recalled Mum going between the sitting room where he sat with his father-in-law and the kitchen where the women were, being given treats and titbits by all of her admirers.

Once the war ended, Barbara and her Mum left England to join Joseph in Canada. They went onboard the Queen Mary: Mum throughout her life would meet other women who had made a similar voyage in their childhood. They travelled across the country to Canyon B.C., where Joe’s parents Matthew and Kate Clayton lived in a log home built by Matthew. Wee Barbara met uncles and aunties and cousins, absorbed into the Clayton clan. Uncle Fred liked to tease her about her English accent. Joe built a house in Creston and he, Kathie, Barbara and new sister Peggy (Margaret) lived there happily, baby Jeannette soon after. Mum remembers going to Saturday matinees with her Granny, stopping at the drugstore on the way home for an ice-cream float. Mum was a life-long devotee of movies and an infallible source of knowledge on them. She cut paper dolls and their outfits from the Creston newspaper, Janet Gaynor one of her favourites.

After a few years in Creston, Joe led the family to a new home in Emerald Mines where Bryan was born (in Nelson). Next was North Vancouver, then Deep Cove, where Barbara started High School. Sister Jodi Kathleen was born in Deep Cove.

The family’s final move to Merritt in 1960 was where Barbara finished high school. She excelled, earning the ‘M’ letter as distinction from her school. Barbara became the first member of her family to go to post-secondary education, accepted to the nascent University of Victoria, or Victoria College. She majored in English and Zoology, divided between her life-long love for the written word and nature. Summers saw her back in Merritt, living at the house her Dad had built and working as a waitress at the Grasslands Cafe.

It was here that Fate intervened in the form of a young Prairie boy posted to the local RCMP. Constable George Humphrey reportedly drank more coffee than anyone in town while attempting to gain the acquaintance affection, of Barbara. Spoiler alert: it worked. Barbara and George married in 1966. Mum shared a memory of driving with soon-to-be in-laws (George Sr. and Evelyn, and Terry & Bill, teen-agers at that time) from B.C. to Regina in order to attend the pass-out ceremony of the George’s brother, Jim, from the RCMP, all 5 in the family car sharing hotel accommodation along the way, an indication of how happy the Humphreys were to welcome her.

After marrying, Barbara and George moved to Sechelt on the Sunshine Coast and began their life together, characterized by laughter, adventure, in-jokes & nicknames, and lots of love. Kathleen Elizabeth was born in 1967, then James Edward *Ross* in 1970. Expectations on lifestyle were lower, perhaps more realistic — Mum & Dad reminisced about their first living room furnishings - a mattress as a couch and Dad’s trunk from the RCMP as coffee table. These were soon replaced by a new suite of furniture. Their content with the humble beginnings was mutual: they were in their own home, together, and that was what truly mattered.

After five idyllic years in Sechelt George was promoted and the family moved to Cassiar, a now-dismantled mining town near the Yukon border. Sandra Eileen arrived to round out our family in 1974. Mum loved our time as a family in Cassiar. They entertained regularly and were hosted in turn by their large circle of friends. Our family continued the camping holidays we’d started while in Sechelt, driving up to Dawson City for one memorable summer trip. Camping and being out of doors was how we spent our holidays. Barbara and George became part owners of a rustic cabin on Chain Lake just outside of Cassiar then: weekends and holidays at the cabin with friends and their families, as well as visiting family members, playing cards or horseshoes, fishing off the dock, cooking adventurous meals in the pit barbeque, and tooling around on the lake in a canoe.

From Cassiar George transferred to Creston, bringing a symmetry to Barbara’s. Barbara and George bought a lovely house here and cultivated a big vegetable garden: we all learned to appreciate the many, many ways in which zucchini can be prepared! Then we moved to Vancouver Island settling in Colwood. One more move brought the family to Burns Lake in the Northern Interior with George in charge of his own shop as Staff Sergeant. Barbara enjoyed the lifestyle, working part-time now that her children were all in school. Her home-making remained her main focus, to our benefit: coming home after school on a bread-baking day is the stuff of which dreams are made! After Burns Lake the final move, to Kamloops. George retired from the RCMP while in Kamloops, and then the fun began!

Family was Mum’s key priority, shared in entirety by Dad. Woven through all of these moves and daets were family events - Kathy, Ross and Sandra and their with post-secondary education, weddings and babies. Barbara and George’s sisters and brothers and families visited often; the beloved home on Pringle Road, was a hub for the entire family en route to one place or another, for celebrations, for Christmas or Easters spent together, or to allow a gathering of the clans. Friends of the family would also stay to break up a journey and were always welcomed with a meal or two. All six grandchildren were taken on annual camping trips learning how to chop wood, shoot BB guns, fish, play crib as well as basic running a bit wild in the wilderness.

Barbara’s best friends were her family - she and her sisters had an annual (and much-vaunted) Sister’s Week in Vancouver that ran for close to three decades. George’s family were also close friends to both of them, with many fun (sometimes raucous, over the years) weekends and holidays spent together. Barbara and George hosted siblings and friends at many Lobster Fests & RCMP Balls, met with them for camping trips during the summers & at Elvis Festivals.

Mum made many true friends met during her time in Burns Lake and through time spent volunteering while living in Kamloops. Barbara and George were passionate volunteers in many service organizations - they believed in helping where it was needed those. Barbara volunteered for many years at the Red Cross Medical Equipment Lending, enjoying her weekly shift there & the connections she made. They were active members in the Overlander Lions, Rotary over the years, making firm friends in these groups. All of the grandchildren remember being pressed into action at various canteens set up to raise money, watching Nan and Pop flip burgers, hot-dogs or pancakes.

Travel was a huge part of Barbara and George’s life. When their family was young this consisted of camping and visiting family. Once everyone left home and the budget loosened international travel started up, continued until 2024. They travelled copiously, exploring Barbara’s roots in England, taking cooking classes in Tuscany, visiting the war memorials of Northern France, bathing in a Turkish haman, being king & queen at an Irish feast, seeing the Terracotta Warriors, among other things. Greece resonated with them and they returned time and time again: Crete was a particular favourite. Mexico was a yearly event, timed for the tail end of the Kamloops winter, boosting up their Vitamin D home again for spring.

Dogs played a huge part in Barbara and George’s lives. Mitzi from Creston was first for 17 years as family dog. Mum & Dad developed a penchant for Scottish Terriers, and a new phase began when Dora (Glendora) came home to then. It was interesting to watch this wee dog wrap them both entirely around her little paw — they loved everything she did and even let her sleep in their bed, something their children were never allowed to do. Then Rupert came along equally adored. Now there is Sheena, a feisty Westie mix who was Mum’s closest companion this past year.

George passed 1 June 2024, and although Barbara accepted this with strength and grace, it was as if a light went out for her. I hesitate to say this, imaging the snort and eye roll directed at me from beyond the veil, but I believe that when Dad died Mum lost her soul-mate, and life was just not as fun any more.

Barbara sold the family home, buying a condo in a convenient neighbourhood located near Ross and family as well as grandson Matt recently in Kamloops. She and Sheena settled in nicely, becoming a part of the building’s community. Mum took up yoga classes and convinced some of her new neighbours to join with her. She continued her volunteer work at the Red Cross.

Barbara leaves a grieving and shell-shocked family behind. Kathy, Ross and Sandra were with her until the end, grateful to have been able to care for her in the last few weeks. Mum’s bright and questioning mind was with her until she left us: we had many conversations — meaningful, trite, funny, dull, as conversations tend to go. She told that she felt ready to go.

Barbara’s family was present during her last weeks. Kathy’s husband Patrick and daughter Dylan came to spend time with Rhubarb and Nanny, Ross’ son Evan as well, Sandra’s husband Pierre and her daughter Lola and son George make the trip, and Ross’ wife Kirsten and daughter Kate, and Kathy’s son Matt, all of whom live nearby were regular visitors. Mum appreciated the company, saying that she liked to hear us nattering away. We had many dinners together in the condo, taking turns chatting with Mum/Nan: every second of that time was precious. We asked for advice on what Mum thought was key to a happy life - she gave us her wise words. ‘Practice patience and tolerance, and forgive.’

Ralph Waldo Emersen wrote “What is success? To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”

By this definition, and by anyone’s yardstick, Barbara lived a successful life. She told us how lucky she considered herself and how much she loved us. Us too, Mum, us too, and we always will. And don’t forget us, Nanny - we loved you sooooo much. And dear Barbara, our sister, we loved you as well, and Barbara the friend: you were loved.

Barbara leaves her children, Kathy (Patrick, Dylan and Matthew), Ross (Kirsten, Evan and Kate) and Sandra (Pierre, Lola and George) as well as her Sheena. She leaves a large family of siblings and their spouses and children, and their children. Barbara had many friends who are grieving her loss. Remember patience and tolerance.