Barbara E. Whitesell

Mrs. Barbara (Barbie) Elaine Whitesell lost her battle with brain cancer on June 1st, 2023. She died peacefully in her home, holding the hand of her soul-mate and twin-flame, Milton Whitesell. She was 74.

Barbara Elaine Whitesell was born on July 9th, 1948 to parents Marian June Marriott and Arnold Eugene Marriott in St Joseph, Missouri. After her mother Marian suffered through years of tests, trying to conceive, and several heartbreaking miscarriages later, Barbara remained an only child. She was born almost 3 months premature and had pneumonia in both lungs spending her first 6 months in a tiny shoe box in a dresser drawer with a heat lamp to warm her tiny frail body. She grew up in St. Joseph, Mo surrounded by close and extended family, then moved to Portland, Oregon with her beloved Chihuahua puppy Chico. In Oregon, Barbie loved oyster and mussel fishing, but moved back to the KC area to be closer with family. This is where she cultivated her closeness with nature and her love of seafood.

She loved hanging out with a few close friends such as, Phyllis, and Vicki and playing records, going to the pool, the bowling alley, and school dances. Barbara LOVED to dance, and would often use her bedroom door handle as her dance partner much to the dismay of her dad who quickly tired of having to replace the door knobs.

Barbie, (not so lovingly nick-named Olive Oyl by some of her classmates) met the love of her life, Milton, who was with his brother, Milford, while still in high school. They met in NKC at the bowling alley while Milton had the back-up and his wing man brother, Milford. They locked eyes, (he liked her legs) and they agreed to a double date. Milton was a college boy when they met, so she insisted on double-dates most of the time for a full year until they were engaged. They were engaged for another year until Milton graduated with a degree in business from Central Missouri State University. They were married May 11, 1968 at the 2nd Baptist Church in Liberty, Mo. Milton would soon be drafted to Vietnam. Milton was drafted in January of 1969 and stationed at Fort Eustis, Virginia and Barbara went with him. Together they lived in Williamsburg, VA where Barbara took a secretarial position with the prestigious College of William and Mary. Milton was later sent to Vietnam, and Barbara moved back to KC to live with her parents.

After spending nearly 2 years in the Army, her husband was honorably discharged and they moved to an apartment in Gladstone and began building their lives post war. Milton took his civil service test and took a job with the Federal Government working for the Social Security Administration as a Claims Authorizer, and Barbara took a job working at the State Building as a Clerk Typist for the Division of Family Services. Milton bought a motorcycle and the two rode off at sunset to another drive-in-movie. Barb and Milt enjoyed double dating with Ruth, Donna, and Brenda, hanging out with friends, going dancing, and going camping and traveling. The two then welcome their first child Stacey Lynn in October of 1975, and later their son Damon Eugene born in November of 1978.

Barb was the kind of mother who had her kids in LOTS of activities, but always found time to volunteer with PTA, Boy and Girl Scouts, NKC School District, Room Mother, and Pleasant Valley Baptist Church where they attended as members. Barbara made her often requested Ice Cream Cone Cupcakes that looked just like an ice cream cone, but with cupcakes. She welcomed her kids’ friends with open arms and insisted on making others feel comfortable, seen, and right at home. She also took bullying very seriously and told her kids, “I better not EVER hear you making fun of someone for being different.” All kids were always welcomed into her home.

Barbara was the kind of mother who encouraged her children even when their goals were not ordinary and sometimes unpopular. For example, her daughter Stacey wanted to play hard-ball on a boy’s team, not softball and was one of the first girls in the KC area to do so.

Barbara was the kind of selfless mother who quit her job with the State, to be home with her children. It was extremely important for her kids to have their mother there after school to ask them how their day was. Barbara would run the neighborhood taxi service driving and carpooling the kids to all their after-school activities. Barbara later went BACK to work with the State so her kids could have braces, as she never liked her teeth, and always wanted HER kids to have what she didn’t.

Once her children learned to drive and could provide their own transportation, she returned to working with the State again. She retired from the state in 2003 just about the time she and her husband’s dream house was built in Smithville. Both children ended up moving back in with their parents a couple different times over the years, and becoming close with extended family.

Barbie’s first set of grandkids came by way of step grandchildren ranging in ages, 4-8, Christina the oldest, Ryan the middle child, and Anne Marie the youngest was Barbie’s shadow the first couple years. Picking flowers/weeds for Barbie, and accompanying their grandpa Miltie to McDonald’s for French fries. She absolutely adored them!

Barbie’s second set of grandkids were born to Damon and wife Rachel. They have 2 children, a boy and a girl named Cole and Natalie. She so loved them and wanted to continue to baby sit even when her own health failed her. Her love for her grandkids was totally unwavering.

Barbara and Milton had the opportunity to go overseas and travel in Europe for a month made possible as their daughter and son-in-law were schooling in Rotterdam in the Netherlands. They also loved sea cruises to the Caribbean with Ruth, Donna, and Doug. Barbie had an uncanny ability to connect with people, make others feel welcome, seen, and heard.

Barbara is preceded in death by her parents Marian and Arnold Marriott, as well as many uncles and aunts and cousins.

Barbara is survived by her husband, Milton, and her children Stacey and Damon. She is further survived by grandchildren Christina, Ryan, Anne Marie, Cole, and Natalie. She is also survived by 3 grand puppies, 2 grand kittens, and yes, one grand pig named Alexander.

The family would like to extend a heartfelt thanks to KC Hospice North Care Team comprised of nurse Rockin’ Robin, Social Worker Michael, Chaplain Ralph, and Anna Lee. Big thanks to the Nabor family for countless lawn mowings, food, and for checking in on them ready to lend a hand. Thank you also to neighbors Mark and Brenda (Sista) Cawley for prepared meals, bakery items, and garden veggies. Thank you to in-laws Daryl and Faye Shackelford for notes of encouragement and prepared meals as well. The family has been blessed with generosity. Thanks to Ruth Whitesell and Christina Persall for help in caring for Barbie in her final days.

Barbie was the kind of person you couldn’t WAIT to tell news to. You could always count on her to be excited FOR you, and WITH you. Her grandchildren Anne, Christina and Sebastian shared they could always depend on her for unconditional love and support.

Barbie remained defiant to the end always trying to get out of bed to help someone other than herself.

Her presence will be greatly missed…………..

In addition to flowers, memorial donations may be sent to a number of cancer research programs such as Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.