Linda May Olenik

Her name is Linda May Olenik and she is just 62 years young. A catastrophic, completely unexpected cardiac arrest ended the life of a woman in her bloom and it has brought great sadness, incredulity and mourning to her family and friends.

Cut off in mid-sentence, your life remains

Only partially written Linda…

A book filled, yet with many blank pages

Where there should have been adventures.

We pick up your life’s open volume

And wonder what more might have been written

Would your story have been straight and true

Or bent before the challenges you faced?

Would the promises of your prologue and chapters have been filled

With more love, accomplishments, and new skills to learn?

Never to know the progress of your tale

We are suspended in doubt

Must you remain forever a partially written book

Or could we write a script

And through our lives state your meaning?

Yes, we will present your messages.

Love, compassion, tenacity and kindness.

These truths will be written on our pages

Making your story forever ours.

Linda will always be remembered for the attractive woman she was, for her sense of humor, and for her intense desire to know all the ins and outs of every little thing, for details were tremendously important and interesting to her. Linda had a zest for life, a deep commitment to family, a fondness for the other creatures inhabiting the planet, and a strong work ethic. I’d like to start today’s service with a verse by Samuel Hall.

Let Me Die Working

Let me die working,

Still tackling plans unfinished, tasks undone!

Clean to its end, swift may my race be run.

No laggard steps, no faltering, no shirking;

Let me die working.

Let me die thinking,

Let me fare forth still with an open mind,

Fresh secrets to unfold, new truths to find,

My soul undimmed, alert, no question blinking;

Let me die thinking.

Let me die giving,

The substance of life, for life’s enriching;

Giving time, things and self converging,

No selfish thought, love redeeming, living;

Let me die giving.

Let me die, laughing.

No sighing o’er past sins; they are forgiven.

Spilled on this earth are all the joys of living;

The wine of life, the cup of mirth for quaffing.

Let me die, laughing!

Linda May Olenik, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a friend. Please join me in saying to Linda’s Mom Betty, her brother and sisters Brian, Marg and Janet, in-laws Lynne, and Robert, nieces and nephews Kara, Krista, Brett, Darren and Cheryl, plus all of the other relatives and friends that we truly sympathize with your loss. The people in this room are here because they care about Linda and therefore they care about you. We all come to offer any comfort you might need whether that is a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen.

In our grief over Linda’s death we might be tempted to ask unanswerable questions. Unanswerable questions like why and how did this happen. But today is not the day to ask why. Today is not the day to ask how. Today is a day to accept that it has happened. To dwell in the past means never to move forward; to project into the future with a continuous stream of “what if’s” means getting stuck in our own pain. Life is random, but death is not. To be able to begin our journey through grief to healing, we must reside in the present for today is a bridge between yesterday and tomorrow.

(Amazing Grace)

New Year’s Day, 1952 is extra special for Betty and Paul Olenik for it is the day that Betty will bring their second child into the world. The newest addition to the family is a beautiful little girl and her parents name her Linda May. Linda is preceded by a sister Carol and she will be followed by a brother Brian and two more sisters, Marg and Janet.

The Olenik’s move frequently as Paul follows employment opportunities around Alberta. Paul labors in Canada’s resource industries first in mining and later in forestry. By the mid 1950’s he is in British Columbia working in the sawmills leaving his wife and children on their own for one year back in Alberta. For that year, Betty moves herself and the children home to live with her parents.

Young Linda is a quiet, shy child with a problem. When she speaks everything comes out gibberish. Betty tries to make sense of the sounds her daughter makes but she is at a loss. Fortunately Linda has a translator in the form of her sister Carol who intuitively deciphers Linda’s garbled utterances. Betty takes Linda to see a doctor hoping to get to the bottom of Linda’s speech impediment but the doctor can’t find anything physically or mentally wrong. Using some good old fashioned medicine, the doctor suggest a “Wait and See” approach. Sure enough, by the time Linda enters school she is speaking normally.

Even as a child Linda demonstrates her nurturing, caring side. She is compassionate to the animals her family raises and owns. When one of the family’s young chickens begins to ail, Linda does her best to nurse it back to health. However the poor chicken dies anyway. This in no way deters Linda from her ultimate goal – to become a registered nurse.

Linda not only practices her home made nursing skills on the resident animals, she is quite willing to offer her assistance to people as well. For example…

Siblings Brian and Marg are out enjoying a favorite winter activity – tobogganing. To make the ride even more exciting, Brian suggests that Marg tuck her head under the front curved part of the toboggan so that she cannot see as she hurtles down the hill. Any adult would immediately see the flaw in this idea and would surely suggest that no good could possibly come of it. However, there are no adults present so off Marg goes, down the slope head first and blind. The toboggan smashes into a tree and fortunately all that breaks is Marg’s arm. The Olenik’s race their wounded daughter to the nearest hospital and all the way there teenage Linda insists that she be allowed to set the broken bone by herself. She implores her parents stating that “she is going to be a nurse after all, some day.” Betty and Paul decline.

Trouble seems to follow Marg around. One afternoon she and Linda are about to start a friendly game of Hide and Seek. Linda offers to be the seeker for the first round. She turns her back, closes her eyes and begins to count. Marg dashes off to hide in some nearby bushes. Just as Linda finishes her countdown and starts her search, Marg comes bursting out of the bushes covered in a blanket of angry bees. She endures multiple stings. What is Linda’s response to her hapless sister’s plight? She tells Marg how thankful she is that she went first because those bushes were exactly where Linda had planned to hide as well.

While the family doesn’t take long vacations, they frequently head out to nearby lakes in their truck and camper. They bring along a small boat and spend hours exploring and fishing.

Linda is an excellent student usually bringing home report cards filled with “A”s. She is inquisitive by nature often driving anyone within earshot crazy with her continuous stream of questions. Linda doesn’t want to simply know the immediate answer to a question or problem, she wants to understand every detail, dissect everything down to a molecular level, and then comprehend how it all comes together. This is a trait she will bring with her into adulthood.

Upon graduation from high school, Linda leaves the security and comfort of home for the first time. She is accepted in to the school of nursing at the Royal Columbia Hospital in New Westminster. For the first few weeks she is lonely and homesick but soon Linda gets to know the other nursing students and new, strong ties and friendships are made. The students work long hours side by side and they look forward to days off. Sometimes the nurses hitchhike to local bars to enjoy a few drinks. One of Linda’s friends is not yet 21 years old and so cannot drink legally. Linda offers to lend her friend her ID. When they get to the bar the group of girls are carded at the front door. The friend is allowed in but Linda, without her ID, is sent packing.

When the young women have a few days off Linda often heads for home to visit her family. Almost always she is accompanied by one or more friends from school.

In the early 1970’s Linda Olenik graduates along side 32 other nurses. Linda’s parent’s sit proudly as they watch their daughter receive her registered nurses certification. Right out of school, Linda takes a job at the hospital in Prince George. Her dad helps purchase her first car and Linda works hard to pay off her student loan.

Years before Betty gives Linda some motherly advice. That advice is “Don’t get married right away. See the world.” Linda takes this to heart and once that student loan debt is cleared, Linda and a friend hop into a truck and camper and drive across Canada. This is Linda’s first big travel adventure and it ignites her inner tourist. The girls have a fantastic time seeing all the many wonders that our country has to offer.

Upon her return, Linda goes back to nursing. Over the next few years she will work in Kamloops, Burns Lake, and Prince George. She is any hospital’s dream employee for she works hard, is loved by her patients, and has limitless compassion. Certainly like many other nurses Linda does have complaints about the long hours, a seemingly endless shortage of staff, and too much bureaucracy, but at the end of the day, she is proud and passionate about her chosen profession.

In the early 1980’s Linda and a friend take a several month long vacation to Australia. This becomes Linda’s trip of a lifetime and she frequently talks about kangaroo hamburgers, the Volkswagon bus they rented, seeing kangaroo’s, wombats and koala’s in the wild, Ayer’s rock, the Gold Coast, Sydney, Perth and more.

By the early 1990’s Linda moves to Kelowna and starts working at Kelowna General. She is eventually hired on full time and her preferred department is the surgical floor.

Linda and her sister Marg purchase a duplex in Rutland. Marg takes one side, Linda and her much loved Shih Tzu Brandy move into the other. Linda plans out the landscaping for her garden. She plants trees and makes flowerbeds, places decorative rocks and creates a beautiful little oasis.

Their brother-in-law Robert comes over to help the women build a deck. Linda takes on the task of drilling holes into the lattice that will make up the walls of the deck. She gets the drill ready and turns it on. She works on one hole for several minutes. She drills and drills and drills. She can’t believe how difficult it is to get through the plastic lattice but she eventually succeeds. She exclaims aloud that this is bloody hard work. Puzzled, Robert comes over and has a look at the drill. A smile crosses his face. “Linda,” he says. “You have the drill in reverse!” The lattice preparation goes much faster from this point on.

That story is a perfect example of Linda’s tenacity, and dare I say it, stubbornness. When she starts a project she is determined to see it through to completion often pushing those around her to keep working even though they would like to take a break. She will settle for nothing less than what she sees as right or perfect. When she decides she needs new coffee and kitchen tables, the search begins. Linda has a precise vision of what she wants. She goes to store after store after store. The weeks turn into months. Linda looks for 5 long years and never does find what she is looking for.

Linda stays in nursing until her 57th year and then she retires. Now she has all the time in the world to do the many things she loves. One of those things is reading. She always has a book or two on the go and the reading starts early in the morning along with her first cup of coffee. Books pile up around the house and it becomes increasingly difficult for Linda to get rid of them. To help out, Marg gives her sister a Kobo for her birthday. At first Linda isn’t convinced that she will ever use it. She doesn’t like the feel of it, blah, blah, blah. But eventually she tries it out and learns to appreciate its convenience.

With family playing an important role in her life, when her brother-in-law Rob needs a place to stay so that he can finish up his studies in plumbing and gas fitting, Linda opens up her home. She prepares a room in the basement for Rob and they become study buddies. Linda loves to quiz Rob from his text books but with her insatiable thirst for knowledge she won’t let him stop with just the correct answer. She wants more details! And then more. Under this kind of intense studying, Rob passes his Red Seal exam with flying colors.

What Linda doesn’t realize however is that her thrifty nature and desire to be conservative with heat in the house is darn near freezing her brother-in-law to death. He resorts to tying a piece of ribbon to the lone ceiling vent and in the morning when the ribbon starts to wave, Rob knows the heat is on and that in a few minutes the room temperature will rise to a point when he can no longer see his breath. (This may be a slight exaggeration.)

Other favorite activities of Linda include spending time with her precious little dog, playing computer games on Facebook like Candy Crush, Bubble Witch and Pet Rescue, and doing cross stitch. She enjoys visits with her family, and often gets together with friends over lunch. Sometimes she hosts small dinner parties despite not liking to cook. Linda loves to go to the movies and often asks Marg to accompany her, but Marg has no time for such frivolities. Linda’s favorite TV programs include reality shows like Big Brother and her musical preference is country.

As Brandy ages, Linda begins to think about life without a pet. Once Brandy passes on Linda hopes to do some more traveling. She makes the hard decision to euthanize her beloved Brandy just a few months ago when the dog is 17 years old. Linda grieves, for this little dog has been her baby, her companion, her 4 legged soul mate.

That traveling she hopes to do takes a back seat for soon Linda is dealing with health problems of her own. Cancer is diagnosed and Linda undergoes surgery. The cancer is not life threatening so no one saw, or even imagined what would steal in during the night and take the life of this beautiful, twinkly eyed lady.

And so it goes. The circle of life. Completed - although in this instance, much too soon. But we are not here to dwell on the loss, there will be plenty of time for that. Today we celebrate the life lived. We have listened to many of Linda’s stories, now we have the opportunity to watch her life unfold before us in pictures. Please sit back and enjoy the show.

(DVD)

To have lived well,

Laughed often and loved much;

To have gained the respect of intelligent men and women

And the love of children;

To have filled a niche

and accomplished a task;

To have left the world better

Whether by an improved poppy,

a perfect poem or a reused soul;

To have appreciated earth’s beauty

and not failed to express it;

To have looked for the best in others

and to have given the best of yourself.

Those are achievements.

Linda was an achiever.

As the Olenik family faces a year of firsts without Linda – the first Christmas which is just around the corner, the first New Year’s which is also Linda’s birthday, her absence will bring with it a fresh sense of loss. Grief is a roller coaster ride and for each person it is different. Your family has already experienced tragedy but that does not make facing a new one any easier. As a family and friends you share in one another’s past and present, you are a part of the whole of who Linda was. She takes a piece of you with her on her journey, just as she leaves a piece of herself with each of you. Nurture her memory, laugh at the many good times you had together and know in your hearts that as long as you remember, she is still very much with you.

As we close our celebration of Linda’s life I leave you with a verse by Henry Scott Holland.

Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all

I have just slipped away into the next room.

I am I, and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name;

Speak to me in the way you always used.

Put no difference into your tone;

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh, as we always laughed,

At the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be forever the household word it always was.

Let it be spoken without an effort,

Without the ghost of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant;

It is the same as it ever was;

There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind,

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval,

Somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well.

* * * * * * * * * *

On Monday, September 22, 2014 Linda Olenik passed away unexpectedly. She is survived by her mom, Betty of Vernon, her brother Brian Olenik of Athabasca, her sisters: Marg Kilpatrick of Kelowna and Janet Thorburn (Rob) of Burns Lake, her 3 nieces and 2 nephews. She was predeceased by her dad, Paul and her sister Carol Sandercott. A Celebration of Her life will be held on Friday, October 3, 2014 at 1:00 pm in the Chapel of First Memorial Funeral Services, 1211 Sutherland Avenue, Kelowna, BC. Condolences may be sent to the family by visiting www.mem.com and searching her name under stories. Cremation and care handled by First Memorial Funeral Services, Kelowna, B.C. ph: 250-762-2299.