Mrs. Mary Lillian Evans Edgelow

Mary Lillian (nee Evans) passed away peacefully on December 1st, 2009 in Kelowna BC at the age of 86 years. Mary was born in Radisson, Saskatchewan in 1923 and grew up in Fielding. She was a teacher for a number of years in and around the North Battleford region. She met and married her husband George in Meota, Saskatchewan in 1950. Together they created a relationship of sixty years raising their family. She was a loving mother to her five children; Jaine (George), Chris (Alison), Bruce (Deborah), Cylynne (Mohd), and Kathi. Mary is survived by her nine doting grandchildren: Matthew (Leah), Sara, Megan, Leith, Marli (Daniel), Christopher, Michael, Kailey, and Logan, and two great grandchildren, Foxx and Brett.

She will be long remembered for her sense of humour, grace, hospitality, ready smile, knitted dishcloths and sumptuous home baking. She was ready and eager to play a game of cards with any courageous opponent and loved to travel North America in one of their many motor homes. Throughout her married life Mary was an active member in the communities of North Battleford, Vermillion, Leduc, Saskatoon, Edmonton and finally in Kelowna. She held numerous offices in Eastern Star and was a member of Grace Lutheran.

A celebration of Mary’s life will be held on Saturday, December 5th, 2009 at 2:00 P.M. at Grace Lutheran Church, 1162 Hudson Road, in West Kelowna with Pastor Ed Skutshek officiating. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to: Eastern Star Cancer Fund at 1413 Lund Road, Kelowna, BC V1P 1K9, phone 250-765-5024. The family expresses their thankfulness for the loving care Mary received from Dr. Daphne Green and all the staff of Cottonwood REACT and the Ladies Auxiliary of Grace Lutheran for the generous contribution of refreshments which will follow the service. Arrangements entrusted to Valleyview Funeral Home, Honoured Provider of Dignity Memorial(250) 765-3147. Condolences can be made to the family at www.mem.com.

Mom’s Tribute Delivered by Mary's Five Children

The Early Years:

Good Afternoon and thank you all for being here for the celebration of our mother’s life. I am Kathi, the youngest of Mary’s five children and I have the delightful and probably the easiest role which is to introduce you to the early Mary Lillian Evans. These stories came to us from mom as she chose to share them over the years, from her dear cousin Sharon and of course from her smitten suitor and husband George.

Mom was born October 25, 1923 in Radisson, Saskatchewan, the only child of older parents Walter and Jean Fonger. Mom’s stories were filled with her delightful memories of being a well spoiled daughter who was the apple of her father’s eye. That spoiled little girl grew into an adventuresome teenager who engaged in actions that brought a wonderful smile to her face decades later as she reminisced of community dances, sleigh rides, skating parties and beach parties as the seasons allowed. Through all her frolicking she was never far from her dear friend RuthKeeper Martin, a friend that she kept for over 70 years until Ruth passed away. Jaine in particular remembers Mom giggling for hours on the phone talking to Ruth; a time when Jaine herself wanted access to her friends via the phone. Mom’s antics with Ruth took her to the far reaching place of Abbotsford via the Greyhound bus where they picked raspberries for a summer. Mom had a twinkle in her eye that often accompanied this story causing us all to think there was much more going on out there than just picking berries.

After graduating from Fielding High School, Mom went to Normal school in Saskatoon... while actually a school to teach students to become teachers, she often laughed that she went there to make her ``normal``. The need for teachers was great and after only 5 months of training Mom was called to Tanglewood School North West of Prince Albert and as she told the story; learned along with her students. She did have the opportunity later to go to the University of Saskatoon to further develop her teaching skills. Each new school in which she taught brought her; a new family with which to live, new friends to be brought into her heart and also into each of ours. Mom had this wonderful way of letting people in and not letting them go; Lucille Wright now almost 100 is still on Mom’s coveted birthday card list. As is Betty and Cecil Ferris, they too closing in on a 100 years. As recent as this past summer Mom and Dad were visiting the Ferris’s in Saskatchewan and the story goes that Dad and Cecil were racing with their brides in wheel chairs in the local mall. Mom made friends to keep friends and made sure there were lots of laughs woven throughout the years.

Mom loved the independence of her early 20`s, fell in and out of love; one in particular professed his love to her through the silk stockings he bought her and the engagement ring he wooed her with and for a while she thought her fate was sealed. Something told her it was not to be and she moved on and threw her heart into her work causing many of her students to have wonderful crushes on her as demonstrated by the artwork they gave her and the poems they wrote to her. A posting in Meota caused her world to spin in another direction; she found herself teaching four young brothers who seemed to take a particular liking to her, not as much however as their older brother George. As the story goes it was the emerald green coat that framed her beautiful face and set off those legendary shapely legs that was both his and hers undoing. Our mom, the only child of older parents whose experience with children was limited to babysitting cousins Sharon and Bob Ellison meets one of eight farm children --- and life began to get interesting. Kids, Kids and more kids:

My name is Bruce, the middle child. The newly wedded couple now creates their own family as we see 5 great kids come in to the world over a 9 year period, 4 different homes and three communities. Mary’s resiliency was tested as Dad’s job often took him away for periods of time, some longer than others. Some of the early lessons were Mom’s strong faith that George would return from a trip when the roads became impassible due to a winter storm and the Mounties searched and searched to finally find the stranded travellers. The value of budgeting was physically witnessed by the money jar system that Mom created. In the kitchen cupboards we saw pay day receipts allocated to the various expense items (food, entertainment, gas, vacations, church, etc.). When it was gone, we waited till next payday. Did the $ get moved around? You bet, but it was a physical evidence of the frugal and responsible nature that was passed on to the next generation.

Independence was a strong characteristic that continued in Mom’s life during the child rearing years. Most know that she was blind in her left eye. Did that stop her? No way. She could see us do most everything without us even knowing it! Her driving skills are legendary. The weekly trips to Brawner’s IGA in Leduc, the road trips to the cabin at Mulhurst beach (she often let us drive once we left the highway), taxiing 5 kids to their various events. She allowed us to see her fiercely courageous spirit one time when bats decided to invade the cabin. Mom led the charge with the broom and mop while we cowered under the bed covers.

Grace and hospitality was strongly evidenced as our yard/home was often the focal meeting point. Mary’s mom came and lived with us in the new house in Leduc. She had her own suite in the basement. Through this we were taught the value of extended family. All of the 5 kids cherish those private dinner times we had with Grandma Jean. Mom’s ability to cope through the chaos of five growing children, pets, a husband’s successful business demands was a true testament to her fortitude. Was she perfect, absolutely not, but we all have very vivid separate memories of her positive impact on us. I’ve shared just a few of them with you.

The Edmonton Years:

I’m Chris, the other son. I’d like to share a few reflections on mom’s Edmonton years with you. Mom moved into the house across from the high school sight unseen – she stayed in Saskatoon with 4 of us and trusted Jaine and Dad to make that decision. Mom created a home there that provided all of us with a solid foundation for our coming of age years – Dad in his growing business and all 5 of us going to school. In spite of a growing sense of stability and success, Mom insisted on using the old wringer washer. She refused to spend money on new appliances when the old ones worked fine. Besides, time spent washing clothes in the basement provided a chance to connect with Kathi, her youngest,getting caught up on what was really going on in the house. We never had a dishwasher because mom was clear that’s why she had kids. Her participation in towel flicking and soap fights continually demonstrated her playful side.

Cooking for a large family for Mom as an only child was an ongoing challenge. She started a tradition where each of us could request our favorite supper on Wednesday… an idea that was an instant hit with all of us. We shared one of those dinners Thursday night. Mom established several new friends with neighbors that continue to this day. She loved ski-dooing with Dad, Uncle Fred & Auntie Lil and many others over the years. They would start from our back lane, race through the few streets to the outskirts of town with the lights off, hopefully not getting caught by the police. She loved the long cold rides under the stars, bundled up in her ski doo suit, usually fortified by cherry whiskey.

Mom continued her association with Eastern Star which meant a great deal to her, something that nourished her throughout her life. She supported her kids through Job’s Daughters, Demolay and endured watching many cold, late season high school football games. In fact she was recognized as the official Chapter mom by Bruce’s Demolay chapter one year. Mom was truly a mom to many people over the years.

Mom loved to bake. Whether is was the tins of frozen cookies that would mysteriously disappear from the freezer downstairs, the fresh cinnamon buns, or the warm buns fresh out of the oven Friday afternoons friends would come over to devour with jars of peanut butter and honey washed down by gallons of milk, we all loved to eat mom’s baking. Our friends were always welcome at our house, whether mom and dad were home or not.

Mom always took time to knit and so many of us have treasures of her handiwork, be them sweaters, scarves, blankets, mitts, socks or her seemingly endless supply of the greatest dish cloths ever. She evolved from following patterns to making them, a skill her granddaughter Leith has clearly inherited. Her independent spirit continued to flourish as she maintained an identity beyond the home. She worked as a substitute teacher for a while and took on a formal role in dad’s growing business. She loved the idea of getting dressed to go to work in a real office. Work aside; it was really all about the new clothes. As we older kids began to leave home the younger ones stayed behind for a while longer and were thoroughly spoiled.

Mom loved the early years of dad single handedly supporting the RV industry. Times spent in “Big Walt” and all of its successors were treasured as she rode shotgun with her man behind the wheel while the roads around North America began to roll beneath her feet. The home at across from the school gave way to a luxurious condo for just mom and dad – their first home after the kids; a long way from their first tiny apartment at the airport in North Battleford. Mom always thought it was a bit more than they really needed. The few years she spent in that condo provided the jumping off point for the next phase of her life, the

Kelowna years….

The Kelowna Years…

Mom was a princess, a daughter of the King of Kings, a Child of Almighty God. She was my best friend. She taught me to value relationships and to rise above our circumstances. Mom was passionate about life. Her life is a colorful story of relationships. I enjoyed the gift of relationship with Mom and Dad while raising my daughter Marli. You see, in 1990, when Marli was 7, Mom and Dad retired to Kelowna and became our down the street neighbors, 7 housed down the street! Mom was a servant; she lived her life reflecting her beliefs, values and attitudes about herself and the world around her. She excelled at her gift of hospitality. She will be remembered by her home baked goodies and coffee with anyone who happened to stop by, including regular coffee breaks for the trades people while the “family” home was being built.

The years in Kelowna were relationship years. With a time-share at Sicamous Sands on the Shuswap, winters in the south and the family home on Dougall Road, rarely did a holiday go by that we didn’t gather. We celebrated 50th Anniversaries, 50th birthdays, the birth of Mom’s first great grandchild, Foxx Jaden and everyday blessings. Every day was lived as the gift it is. Kelowna became a ‘come to destination’ as well as a passing through ‘hi, how are you’ gathering place. Mom’s guest book was always open and she warmly welcomed you. Mom was charming, expressing genuine interest in others, she modeled relationships. Mom cared about and for her family and friends. Mom lived well, laughed often and loved deeply, trusting and knowing that her destiny was guided by her Heavenly Father. That His hand was upon her life and that He provided and blessed her with the exact measure of what she needed each day. And so it is that Mom will be remembered by each of us. We have treasure troves full of adventures, stories and wisdoms shred, memories that were created with her. May we celebrate Mom’s colorful life and life as she did, with passion, grace, hospitality, acceptance and love. Have I told you today that I love you.

The Final Days…

I am Jaine, the oldest of our family and the last to praise and celebrate Mom’s life. You may wonder why the oldest is loving Mom last. Well the only reason Kathi presented first is because she was always Mom’s favorite and she inherited the great legs. (We love you Kathi.) Why did I choose the last 8 months of Mom’s life to uplift her? My husband George and I decided to retire to Kelowna and moved here full time in April last year. After being away from the family for 7 years, living in Toronto, we decided to move west where all our family and friends were.

Coming home to spend time with Mom this past year was a pleasure and a time of many:

• “I love You’s”

• Sitting with her waiting for Dr. appointments

• Her sharing old family recipes with me

• Witnessing the unconditional and deep love of almost 60 years between her and Dad

• At times dealing with a “Recycled Teenager”, a stubborn 2 year old and a dignified 86 year old Momma/Nana Bear

I knew Mom was everything my siblings have described her as; at a very early age, at my birth if the truth be told. I was born 6 weeks early by “C” section so they could save both my life and Mom’s. After that experience she was told not to have any more children. Well you know the rest of THAT story.

Between April and Nov. 10, there were many more moments to treasure for me:

• Having her come to our home for George’s great barbecue Sunday night dinners to lick the plate clean.

• Seeing her walk on her own, to progress to a cane, to a walker and then to her wheelchair.

• Watching her eyes light up whenever Dad came into the room.

• Very clearly telling everyone she did not need to have caregivers as she had a man who was younger than her and she would always be looked after.

• Having her sit at the island in my kitchen as she watched Kathi and I make salsa this fall.

• Going on a boat trip to see the sunset on my August birthday 2 months ago.

• Taking her to shop for wool so she could knit a sweater for her yet to be born great grandchild (Brett who has since been born and the sweater did get started) Leigh and Matt be patient the sweater will get done.

• Insisting I run to her “Stash” of knitted dish cloths when my friend Pervin was visiting so she could give her a love gift. Of course it was the first time she had met Pervin.

• She sitting in her kitchen being the drill sergeant as she was teaching me how to make “Hermits”, insisting I was not stirring correctly.

• She watching, as she taught me to make her famous Lemon Pudding and laughing till we cried when I went to add the flour and found that once I had added it, it really was not flour, but icing sugar. Michele was with us and did the taste test to confirm our findings. Obviously just a seniors moment on either Dad or Moms part when they filled the flour container who knows when.

• Watching Dad lovingly tend to her feet when she had her staph infection, saying there was no home care nurse on the planet that did the job as well Dad.

• When packing up to take personal effects with her to the hospital she insisted on “Foxx’s” album to be at her bedside.

• Celebrating her 86th birthday at the hospital after her surgery with Dad, George, Chris, Kailey and Logan. The joy of shopping for silly things for Mom before heading to the hospital and making cupcakes with Logan & Kailey to leave with the hospital staff. (1/2 of which Dad and Logan scarfed down before we left)

• The 2nd last time I saw her at Cottonwoods was when Kathi and I brought the Beauty Saloon to her, getting her beautiful for Dad’s visit. Then spending time in the hall way coaxing and coaching her to get to the dining room, gaining confidence with her wheel chair skills.

AND finally:

• Many nights at the REACT unit being with her to tuck her in for the night, saying our “I love You’s" and turning off the light as I left her room.

Thanksgiving 2009 was a momentous occasion for Kathi, Sara, Michele, many friends and myself. We were all doing the ½ marathon, the first time together in Kelowna. I asked Mom the beginning of Oct. if she would do something for me. Before I asked for what I wanted she looked me in the eye and with tears running down her checks she said “No one has asked me to do anything for a long time. Whatever it is I will do it.” I asked if she would be a cheer leader for us and be at the end of the race to meet us. About the 19th km. mark my daughter came running toward me shouting, Guess who is at the finish line; wow was that motivator to finish that race. Dad had her all bundled up with a tougue, boots, blanket, ski jacket, her silly sunglasses and in her wheel chair.

Four weeks ago I had a very difficult decision to make. I had booked a trip to Toronto to see my children and friends, the first time I had been back since I moved. The trip was booked in June. By the middle of October I knew that Mom’s life was coming to an end. I was very torn about leaving her. She and I talked about it a great deal. She insisted she would be fine and that my children and friends needed me. The last time I saw her, as I was leaving the room at Cottonwoods she said “Oh my Jaine, we didn’t get a chance to make Hermits to take to CG!!” I quickly told her that when we made them in Oct. I had frozen a bag to take to him this trip. She was relieved; CG could not be without his favorite cookies. Before I left for the east, I sent out an e-mail to my siblings asking that they come to see Mom and support Dad. They all got to see Mom in the past month, which I am so thankful for. I however could only be reassured by phone and e-mails that Mom was doing well. I was speaking to Kathi Monday night after she, Dad, George, Doug and Pam had taken Mom out for a great supper. Mom so wanted to go out with them to have some mashed potatoes and gravy. She got her wish. 6 hours later I was packing up to catch my plane home. I got a phone call from Kathi to say Mom had passed away at 6:15 Tuesday morning.

Oh my, I would not get to hug her again, but the quick realization kicked in that Mom passed away exactly how she wanted to, in the early morning hours, in her bed. She was very ready to move on. She had been well prepared for death and was not afraid. Pastor Ed had spent a lot of time with her providing comfort.

We are so thankful to have had Mom as our Mom. She will live for ever in our memories as the Wonderful, Creative, Loving, Playful, Independent woman she was.

Mom, We Love You…

Dad, we will always be there for you…