Elizabeth (Betty) Wurst Solecki

Elizabeth “Betty” Solecki(nee Wurst)Born March 17, 1931 in Spiritwood, SK to Anna (Benczkober) and Ignace Wurst, colonists of Hercegfalva, Hungary. During the early morning of January 14, 2010 Betty and husband Bill were involved in a tragic motor vehicle accident outside of Creston, BC. Betty was taken to hospital at Cranbrook, BC then flown by STARS air ambulance to the Foothills Hospital, Calgary, AB. On January 22, 2010 at the Foothills Hospital, surrounded by her beloved and loving family Betty passed away.She will be greatly missed by William “Bill” Solecki, her devoted husband of 56 years, cherished children, Elizabeth, Rosemarie, Gregory (Janette), magical Baba to Rachel, Trinity and Faith, warm hearted Grandmother to Ronin and special Step-Grandmother to Anita and Alex. Respected and loved by former sons-in-law, Donald Anderson (Indiana) and Terry Cunningham (California).Predeceased by brother Joe, sister Anne, and infant brother Ignace (Hungary), survived by sisters Kay, Mary, brothers Steve and Ignace (Donna).Betty with Bill raised their family in Langley and Prince George BC, Western Australia, Welland, ON, East Hampton, New York and Calgary, AB. One of her favourite sayings was “home is where the heart is”.Vivacious and beautiful, Betty’s boundless zest for life was irresistible and her passion, curiosity, solid values and sense of wonder a delight. Whenever we nurture and celebrate those qualities in ourselves we will honour her memory.She was a strong advocate of social justice and tirelessly worked for those that didn’t have their own voice. All of this though was accomplished in the interstices of what she always considered her real life’s work, raising her family and nurturing her relationships with cherished friends of all ages and from all walks of life. Her indomitable spirit survives in the lifelong friendships developed through her and Bill’s association with the Pacific Great Eastern Railway (PGE), British Columbia Railway (BCR), and Mannix/Loram International and in recent years her work at Fashion Addition, Langley.A former member of the Lioness Club of Strawberry Belles, sponsored by the Lions Club of Langley North West; former member of the Catholic Women’s League of Clinton, BC and an active, proud, joyful member of the Catholic Women’s League, St. Joseph’s Roman Catholic Church, Langley, BC.Prayer services at St. Joseph's Roman Catholic Church, Langley, BC on Friday, February 5th, 2010 at 8 p.m. Funeral mass will be celebrated at St. Joseph's Roman Catholic Church, on Saturday, February 6th, 2010 at 10.a.m. with the Rev. Don Larson, Presider; reception to follow. In memory of Betty donations can be made to STARS; the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada, or the Catholic Women’s League, St. Joseph’s Roman Catholic Church, Langley, BC. “Mom you’re an Angel”.Arrangements under the direction of Henderson's Langley Funeral Home, Langley, BC.Eventual resting place, Gardens of Gethsemani, Catholic Cemetery, Surrey, BC. EULOGY (Betty Ann Solecki)Betty was my Mother and although we lived a province apart it didn’t seem to make a difference as we loved each other in a way that meant distance never mattered. Almost nightly the two of us had a visit by telephone and every morning my sister and Mother did the very same thing. And of course she wished the same for her and Greg as she was a Mother who relished being involved in the day to day happenings of her family’s lives, but she was also realistic and appreciative of the commitment that her son had to his growing family and the dedicated schedule required for raising her three beautiful granddaughters. My Mother was born in Spiritwood, Saskatchewan, to parents that emigrated from Hungary a humble but noble beginning. She had four brothers and three sisters and loved each of them deeply. In 1943 most of the family moved from their Saskatchewan homestead to Aldergrove, BC, (first home/farm was located at Lafever Road; 2 years later the family moved to their second home at Otter Road). My Mother attended the local schools – Aberdeen, Sperling (Grade 6), Milner (Grades 7/8) and Langley Prairie High (Grade 9/10). Many locals will recall her parent’s last home – the Clovermeadow Farm with the large red barn, a local dairy business located in Cloverdale (Surrey) and now the site of Kwantlen Polytechnic University.In 1952 my Father and Mother met at the historical Clinton Annual Ball – one of British Columbia’s oldest running events. For the purpose of employment my Mother had moved from Langley to the interior of BC for work at the Frontier Hotel. There she held a variety of responsibilities that included cooking, hosting, cleaning and in the absence of the owners even the delegated role of acting manager. She loved the work but especially the area for its vast history of unique western heritage and culture, the ranches and the horseback riding. And perhaps her many stories helped inspire her granddaughters’ love of horses today. My Dad says that he never knew such happiness until he and Mom fell in love, for she was everything that he had been dreaming of and that with each day that passed, his life grew sweeter still, because he loved Mom so much and always will.In 1954 my parents married here in Langley and they began life together working for the same employer, the Pacific Great Eastern railway, Dad as a heavy duty equipment operator and Mom as a cook for a work gang of 20. That meant she prepared three full meals a day, and baked all necessary bread and desserts using stoves initially fuelled by coal, then oil and refrigerators that operated on ice. It was hard work for my Mother but together with my Father they achieved a significant goal. Two years of hard work paid off as they earned enough money to purchase their first home in Squamish BC, and proudly without any debt or mortgage. Mom had many stories and saved mementos of trips they took from that home to the nearby beautiful Alta Lake and area, known today of course as Whistler.Family was at the core of who my Mother was. She took great pride and interest in the development of my brother, sister and me. In fact, my Father has often respectfully declared that it was Mom who was responsible for the manner in which we as their children were raised, evolved and succeeded. For so often my Mother single handily managed the household and parenting as my Father’s job in railway construction often took him away for long periods of time. I feel very fortunate to have witnessed my Mother’s independence and confidence as this created the foundation or core for who my sister and I are as women today. She also told all three of us to be leaders not followers and as Greg has expressed when he grew older this made more and more sense - because whether it was leading sports teams or teams in the workplace it was important to understand why people were behind you all the way. As children perhaps my sister, brother and I didn’t comprehend or fully realize the meaning of our mother’s love, but through older eyes and wiser hearts it was obvious that she was tender and wise. Mom made patience and forgiveness a part of every day. There were unexpected “little things” that she did in her own way and she taught us to love, to see beauty, to take our place in the world and to develop there and we did. Her wish for the three of us was that we all got along and looked out for each other and we did and to this day we remain faithfully connected. She also took great solace and pride when Rose my sister would say “don’t worry Mom, when you’re gone you needn’t worry about any of us as I will take care of all of them”. So often Rose provided a surprise opportunity or a special occasion for Mom that made her life a tad easier or more comfortable and for that we are so grateful.Her precious Grandchildren filled her heart completely and also kept her young. She was Baba to Rachel, Trinity and Faith and warm hearted Grandmother to Ronin and special Step Grandmother to Anita and Alex. She basked in their every accomplishment and despaired in any of their hurt or pain. She took every available opportunity to watch over her Grandchildren and to share in their upbringing – there was nothing that she wanted more than to be with them every day. My Mother had a delightful saying “home is where the heart is” ... I’m not sure when it began but I understood it clearly. My Mother created many warm loving homes due several moves that were made because of Dad’s career. We lived in Prince George BC, Western Australia, Welland ON, East Hampton NY, Calgary, AB and here in Langley. And along the way my Mother developed strong lifelong friendships and from all ages and all walks of like. As her children we were very appreciative that she also took a genuine interest in our friends. In particular there was a great connection between her and Greg’s friends, perhaps because he was the youngest and the last at home. It was obvious that Mom marvelled at the exploits and accomplishments of each young person that travelled through her kitchen door and many have remained connected to my Mom to this day. And this also included her many loving nephews and nieces. My Mother loved hosting and she was truly generous and good at it. She prepared incredible meals in the traditional Eastern European style. Some of you with us today will remember her perogies, cabbage rolls, homemade saukraut and kiflis. Luckily as her children we were taught her recipes and those traditions have continued with her Grandchildren. Her granddaughters can tell you just how particular Baba was when it came to pinching the perogie dough. Ronin, her grandson remembers that when he wasn’t feeling well he would call Grandma and ask her to make him some chicken soup because it always made him feel better. And for her son Greg, because she knew that he didn’t like desserts she would let him get away with scraping all the filling out of a piece of pie just so he could eat his favourite part – the crust. So then began the ritual and tradition of Mom baking pie crusts just for Greg, and again this past Christmas she lovingly spoiled him once again with pie crusts.Mom loved flowers, babies and angels and she loved to dance.We thought our Mother beautiful and vivacious; Greg describes her demeanor as positive. She had a boundless energy for life, remained on top of current events and could easily provide an opinion on just about anything and sometimes whether you wanted that opinion or not. She had great compassion and understanding for those that may be considered the underprivileged or the forgotten; she also worked tirelessly on their behalf. Her generosity almost seemed effortless but it was us her family who knew the toll it sometimes took both physically and emotionally. However, Mom received much joy and contentment out of experiencing other’s happiness and fulfillment for doing what was right. Her inclusiveness enriched other’s lives and encouraged others to return that acceptance and love in many different ways.Doing what was right also meant a commitment and service to her faith. Our Mother was a member of this parish and a proud sister member of the Catholic Women’s League. I would like to mention that during her early years she was also a member of the Clinton, BC, Catholic Women’s League. Mom was baptized March 19th, 1931.For many years my Mother lived with a pacemaker that regulated her heart and in essence kept her alive. Two years ago my Mother suffered a stroke; she was courageous and very determined that life wasn’t going to change, and she made a remarkable recovery. My Mother used to say that she was a “tough prairie chicken” and regularly reminded us that God didn’t give her or anyone, anything more than what could be handled. On January 14th my parents were involved in a horrific motor vehicle accident and for the 8 days that our Mother continued living, my siblings and sister-in-law shared being at her bedside. We did what we could to comfort her; we caressed her, kissed her and held her hands. We read to her and reassured her. We shared with her our secrets, our promises and our apologies. We told her over and over again how much she was loved, appreciated and we thanked her. We were grateful to the hospital staff for enabling our Dad to also share visits at Mom’s side. Her grandchildren visited as did a priest.And then in the early morning of January 22nd surrounded by Dad, Rose, Greg, Janette and I, with her hands in our hands and her arms and forehead gently stroked, our dear Mother passed away.That morning a beautiful hoar frost covered the ground and trees and we were in awe as this really was our Mother’s favourite winter weather scene.This week we found a letter that Mom drafted in February of 1985 to Greg, Rose and myself … I will share an excerpt from it:"I hope my lessons were not taught in vain, as you know malice has nothing to gain,I loved you all and missed the days that were young,Remember my words as painful as they may be, Now my suffering has ended and I am free, andNobody loves you more than me."Mom you are our angel and you will be dearly missed. However, you have left a wonderful legacy in your children and grandchildren - your life. Much love to you forever, always and more.The following in Mom's handwriting from February 1985:Take my hand and walk with meWe will go through our past as you can seeWe had many good times, happy and sadBut life for me changed when times were badFor all was welcome through my doorFor a cup of tea and talk till 4Many a day I would wait to seeIf all of you could get along without animosityIt would have only taken a minute of your timeTo tell me how you felt and what was on your mindI hope my lessons were not taught in vainAs you know malice has nothing to gainI loved you all and missed the day that were youngFor in my heart you were special since the day that you were bornRemember my words as painful as they may beNow my sufffering has ended and I am now freeNobody loves you more than meA copy for each of you. Betty Ann, Rosemarie, GregThe following also in Mom's handwriting, dated February 1985:To Those I Loved and Those Who Loved MeWhen I am gone release me let me goI have so many things to see and doYou mustn't tie yourself to me with tearsBe happy that we had these precious yearsI gave to you my love you can only guessHow much you gave to me in happinessI thank you for the love you each have shownBut now its time I travelled on aloneSo grieve a while for me if grieve you mustThen let your grief be comforted by trustIts only for a while that we must partSo bless the memories within your heartI won't be far away, for life goes onSo if you need me call and I will comeThough you can't see me or touch me I'll be nearAnd if you listen with your heart you'll hearAll of my love around you soft and clearAnd then when you come this way aloneI'll greet you with a smile and say Welcome Home.I want this on the little card that the funeral home puts out and gives to everyone. Mom.READINGS FOR PRAYERS - Friday, February 5th, 2010A reading from the first letter of John:Think of the love that the Father has lavished on us by letting us be called God’s children; and that is what we are. Because the world refused to acknowledge him, therefore it does not acknowledge us. My dear people, we are already the children of God but what we are to be in the future has not yet been revealed; all we know is, that when it is revealed we shall be like him because we shall see him as he really is.This is the word of the Lord.RESPONSORIAL PSALM Ps. 63R. For you my soul is thirsting O Lord, my GodO God, you are my God, for you I long;for you my soul is thirsting.My body pines for youlike a dry, weary land without water. R.So I gaze on you in the sanctuaryto see your strength and your glory.For your love is better than life,my lips will speak of your praise. R.So I will bless you all my life,in you name I will lift up my hands.My soul shall be filled as with a banquet,my mouth shall praise you with joy. R.You have been my help;in the shadow of your wings I rejoice.My soul clings to you;your right hand holds me fast. R.A reading from the Holy Gospel according to John:Jesus said to the crowds:“I am the living bread which has come down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will live for ever; and the bread that I shall give is my flesh, for the life of the world.” Then the Jews started arguing with one another: “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” they said. Jesus replied: “I tell you most solemnly, if you do not eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you will not have life in you. Anyone who does eat my flesh and drink my blood has eternal life, and I shall raise him up on the last day. “For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood lives in me and I live in him. As I, who am sent by the living Father, myself draw life from the Father, so whoever eats me will draw life from me. This is the bread come down from heaven; not like the bread our ancestors ate: they are dead, but anyone who eats this bread will live for ever.”Song: Somewhere Over the RainbowREADINGS FOR FUNERAL - Saturday, February 6th, 2010A reading from the book of the Prophet Isaiah:On this mountain, the Lord Sabaoth will prepare for all peoples a banquet of rich food. On this mountain he will remove the mourning veil covering all peoples, and the shroud enwrapping all nations.The Lord God will destroy death for ever: he will wipe away the tears from every cheek; he will take away his people’s shame everywhere on earth, for the Lord has said so. That day, it will be said: See, this is our God in whom we hoped for salvation; the Lord is the one in whom we hoped. We exult and we rejoice that he has saved us.This is the word of the Lord.RESPONSORIAL PSALM Ps. 23R. The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.A reading from the first letter of Paul to the Thessalonians:We want you to be quite certain, brothers, about those who have died, to make sure that you do not grieve about them, like the other people who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and that it will be the same for those who have died in Jesus: God will bring them with him. So we shall stay with the Lord for ever. With such thoughts as these you should comfort one another.This is the word of the Lord. A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew:Jesus said to his disciples:“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, escorted by all the angels, then he will take his seat on his throne of glory. All the nations will be assembled before him and he will separate men one from another as the shepherd separates sheep from goats. He will place the sheep on his right hand and the goats on his left.“Then the King will say to those on his right hand, ‘Come, you whom my Father has blessed, take for your heritage the kingdom prepared for you since the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink; I was a stranger and you made me welcome; naked and you clothed me, sick and you visited me, in prison and you came to see me.’ Then the virtuous will say to him in reply. ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you; or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and make you welcome; naked and clothe you; sick or in prison and go to see you?’ And the King will answer, ‘I tell you solemnly, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me.’This is the gospel of the Lord.Songs: Ava Maria and Amazing Grace