Mary Elizabeth Poling

Today, we celebrate you.

Second child and second daughter. First grandchild, first of 27 cousins.

Having lost their first born, Judith Anne, at birth, this tiny babe, Mary Elizabeth, was treasured indeed by mom and dad. For Bette, her first few days of life were fragile, spent in an incubator. her tiny body re energized by transfusion. Bette was born with Turners Syndrome, a chromosomal occurrence affecting 1 in 2 to 5 thousand females, which manifests itself in many ways … medical anomalies and medical challenges.

They called her Little Bet.

We moved from Sault Ste Marie, to Thunder Bay where most of my father’s large family lived. Then to Edmonton. And finally to Vancouver. For Bette the highlight of her life was her school friends … friends who bonded to this little girl with an orange crate under her desk, because her feet did not touch the floor … ever.

St. Andrew’s School in Thunder Bay, St Anthony’s, then Mount Carmel, then St Mary’s High School in Edmonton.

Bette absolutely loved our high school with its close knit group of nuns, priests and lay teachers.

She remembered all by name, by character and by course. FOREVER! Like Miss Newman who invited everyone to her wedding. And Mr Picard, and his production of the Pirate of Penzance. For Bette all of them endured in her memory bank

Now, our high school was a bit unusual. All the girls were taught on one side and all of the boys on the other side. A special bond developed with these girls who graduated in 1961! a bond that remains to this day. They call themselves the Belles of St. Mary’s.

Around this time of her high school life Bette spent months in hospital receiving growth hormones, which was very new at this time. I remember visiting her in the hospital seeing her trust in the medical profession. Following her graduation from high school, Bette attended the University of Alberta in the faculty of Science hoping to become a Physiotherapist. I remember I used to say, ”Wow she is spending 8 hours in class and 8 hours studying!!! How does she do that?” But it was too much for Bette and she revised her dream by deciding she would become a nurse. However this too was not to before she was deemed not strong enough at 78 pounds.

Ever resilient, Bette finally found her niche in taking her Early Childhood Education Diploma and becoming a pre-school teacher. For many years she was THE teacher and ran the Star of the Sea Preschool here.

Time passed, changes were made and eventually Bette became a Teacher’s Aide for the Surrey School District until her retirement. Bette bonded with the children with whom she worked. She related well to them

RESILIENCE that word keeps coming to mind when I reflect on Bette’s life. I think Bette personified resilience. Bette also had a uncanny way of focusing intently on the lives of others, and becoming a part of their journey. Dream fulfilled

In the 1980’s Bette fulfilled her dream of becoming a Mother when she chose Tania to be her daughter. Bette adopted Tania, with her beautiful smile, when Tania was 9 years of age. The challenges Bette faced as a low income, single mother of a special needs child were immense. But Bette always believed there was hope for a better future and that one day, all would be well Bette, as Mom, treasured the hugs, the smiles. the handprints and the homemade cards for mom. She had someone to love and care for and someone to give her love in return.

Bette loved everything from Disney and now I look back I think she actually believed that a sprinkling of pixie dust would come along and yes all would be well.

This past Mother’s Day, Tania and Bette were reunited, when Tania visited her in the hospital. I know even in that visit Bette still believed that one day all would be well.

A reunion of another sort came about while Bette was in hospital. Two of her Belles of St Mary’s arrived from Edmonton, and spent three days, 12 hours a day, at her bedside. recounting stories, and soothing her with prayer and song. For the last few years, in May in Edmonton, Bette had joined these Belles for annual reunions of the class of 61 Now it was May, and they had come to her.

Upon returning to Edmonton and hearing the news that Bette had passed away, these Belles offered to plan and prepare this celebration of Bette’s life, for me and for you. They planned this celebration of Bette’s life from Edmonton. Along with them has come another dear friend who also lives near Edmonton now, Tony Janssen, who for ever so many years was your lead musician here at Star of the Sea. Bette played guitar in his group here. The Janssen family were family to Bette, and she had a close relationship with Tony’s Mom and all of his children, being godmother to Young Tony. Along with Tony we have Erika from Red Deer, who was also a musician here at Star of the Sea for many years alongside Tony and Bette.

Bette has a link to another Strong Star of the Sea family, the Byrnes family, and is godmother to Susie Byrne.

To both families she will always be Auntie Bette

She is dear Auntie Bette to my sons, Doug and Jim, to Karin and Annette and to Great Auntie Bette to Harrison Anna and Cameron. And she is dear Bette to my husband Bruce.

As for me, well what I think is yes I am her sister and for a long time now I have kind of been her caregiver, but mine is a different journey than yours.

The closest journeys which Bette had was with all of you she was fulfilled by your friendship and by your love. And through this she has become a part of you. Do not mourn the loss of her, for she lives in you, in your hearts and in your memories. She will be with you forever.

When I was at Henderson’s funeral home, two young men, Adam and Jesse, assisted me. After conversing with them for a while, I took my i-phone and showed them a photo of Bette taken at Easter, so they could see the true Bette. Adam in shock spoke. “I know her, I volunteered at Christina Place, calling out Bingos. SHE WAS A SPUNKY LITTLE LADY!”

Yes she was a spunky little lady, indeed!

I would like to express our deep appreciation to Dr, Whitman and the nurses in CCU at Langley Memorial for the

compassionate care they gave to Bette.

To thank her friends and staff at Christina Place and Sunridge Gardens. Thank you to Father Galvon for being here and thank you to the altar server.

And … thank you.