Shirley Maria Freistadt

When you think of Shirley, certain images might come to mind: a hummingbird hovering in the spring garden, the soft wind moving through the branches of a willow tree, the sound of a plane taking off the runway, or the sounds of waves crashing at White Rock Beach. How do we describe a woman so full of life? Certain words might come to mind: beautiful, warm, kind, or giving. The most generous friend you could ever ask for. The most compassionate sister. The most loving wife. The greatest mother.

Shirley was born on January 14, 1964, in Manchester, England. Britain always remained an influential part of her life and she took such pride in her heritage. Shirley always had a unique fascination with the Titanic and it is only fitting that she would feel so compelled to understand the ship that changed history. 108 years ago a young married couple of entertainers boarded the Titanic, not knowing that the views of the ocean as the ship set sail, would be the last views they would ever see.

These entertainers were Shirley’s great-grandparents. Following their passing on the Titanic, their young son, in England, was enrolled in an orphanage. Shirley’s grandfather spent his youth growing up in the orphanage and when he became of age he joined the military in order to escape, where he was then stationed on base in Egypt.

While stationed in Egypt, Shirley’s grandfather met a beautiful Maltese woman, who was in Egypt since her father was part of the team of workers constructing the Suez Canal. Malta was one of Shirley’s favourite places in the world and she felt connected to her family that lived there before her. With her olive skin and dark hair, she looked right at home when walking the streets of the small, Mediterranean island. Shirley’s father, Ian, was born on the Egyptian military base before returning to England, where he was raised.

Shirley spent her childhood growing up in Manchester with her sister, Susanne. When she moved to Canada at the age of ten, she was self-conscious of her British accent, and did everything she could to assimilate into Canadian culture. As much as Shirley loved her British roots, she loved her life in Cloverdale, British Columbia, and it gave her everything she ever wanted and shaped her into the person we remember her as today.

Shirley’s youth was spent riding her horse, Diamond, around the Cloverdale area, and even riding in the Cloverdale Rodeo Parade. She was adventurous and she played baseball; in the summer of 1976 she met Debbie. They were best friends from that moment forward. One of Shirley’s first jobs was at the Thunderbird Drive-in and when she turned sixteen she loved cruising in her car.

Not only was Shirley beautiful, she was also smart. Her organization skills and attention to detail continued to amaze her friends and family throughout her life. When she graduated in 1982 she was second in her class before putting herself through Kwantlen College night school, after working at an alfalfa sprout farm with Debbie during the day.

After graduating from Kwantlen, Shirley started working at British Columbia Institute of Technology, or more commonly known as BCIT. She first started working in their library where she would hide herself in the book bin and throw books out at people when they tried to return their books. Her amazing sense of humour was something she had even from an early age. She eventually moved into the purchasing department, where she bonded with the group of women who worked there, turning them into a group of her lifelong friends.

Shirley met Lonny Freistadt around the year 1984. After being friends for a year they started dating in 1985. They had a love like no other. On May 19, 1990 they were married and would have celebrated their thirtieth wedding anniversary this year. One of the greatest joys of Shirley’s life was being a mother and in 1995, their first child, Sydney, was born, followed by Shelby in 1997.

Motherhood took a new perspective when Shelby was born, as Shirley learned just how unconditional a mother’s love can be. Shirley never imagined what life would be like to raise a child with special needs, but her love and care for Shelby knew no bounds; she always said that God must have given her Shelby because He knew she would love her with all her heart, and take care of her needs with everything she had. Not only was Shirley there to love and cherish Shelby, but she also loved Sydney with her whole heart and always made sure that Sydney knew how important she was to her.

The Freistadt’s made up the closest and most loving family. Shirley and Lonny set the perfect example of what love should be for their girls, Shelby grew up in a house full of love, and for Sydney, her relationship with Shirley was not only that of a mother, but also that of a best friend.

In 2003 Shirley’s life changed forever. She was diagnosed with colon cancer and was expected to only have two years to live. Of course this was devastating to the family and all who knew them. With her girls being only eight and six years of age, Shirley feared what life would be like for them without a mother, and promised herself to do everything she could to fight this disease so she could be with her family.

Shirley’s strength, courage, and perseverance prevailed—she defeated the cancer and was declared to be cancer-free. After experiencing the hardest and most frightening thing she had endured in life she vowed to live intentionally, with a life full of love, and that’s exactly what she did. In the years that followed, Shirley lived each day to the fullest. She retired early, in 2008, so she had more time to be with her daughters. She had experiences that many only dream about in a lifetime—travelling all over the world to places like Disneyland, New York, London, Paris, Rome, Malta, and Venice. She had treasured moments travelling with her husband, daughter, sister, and best friend. In 2017, she was unexpectedly able to join Sydney and Lonny on a trip travelling Germany, Austria, and Prague, and was overjoyed to experience the trip of a lifetime with her family, which they had previously been unable to do.

Shirley spent her days full of life. She tended to her garden and made it an oasis for friends and animal alike, always watching the hummingbirds and “chick-a-dee” birds that lived in her flowers. She loved her dog, Meeko, with her whole heart and had a very special connection with him. She travelled to various worlds in the pages of her books, and loved spending time walking in the sun on the promenade at White Rock. Shirley spent her energy radiating positivity and did not let the bad things get to her. Shirley’s life was filled with love and her greatest joy was being with her family. Shirley was the kindest and most generous person you would ever meet, willing to do anything for a person in need, and to offer love and forgiveness, even when we felt we were least deserving of it.

In 2018, life changed again when Shirley was diagnosed with stage one uterus cancer. At the time the diagnosis seemed promising and she received treatment to keep the cells controlled. In early 2019 she was thought to be cancer free, until a scan determined she had mysterious spots on her lungs. The cancer had spread and this time there was nothing that could be done to help her. Shirley did everything she could with the hopes of staying with her family, while at the same time she was grateful for the life she lived. Shirley was so grateful that she’d had an extra sixteen years with her family since her first diagnosis, when she was not expected to survive. She was grateful that she got to watch her girls grow up and she knew that they were going to be okay and that they were going to survive whatever happened next. She was grateful to be so loved and had her family by her side until her last breath.

When you think of Shirley, think of the lessons she taught us and message she leaves behind: do not stress about the small things, because in the big picture of life they do not really matter. Be kind to everyone you meet because you never know what they are going through, and never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them because life is so precious and you never know when it might be too late.

So, when you hear the buzzing wings of a hummingbird, or hear the waves crashing at White Rock Beach, do not remember Shirley with sadness. Remember her with the life she had and the message she tried to share with all of us: spend your days filled with love and you will never be alone. She lives on as a part of each and every life she has touched and for that reason her spirit will never leave us.

On behalf of Lonny, Sydney, and Shelby, we would like to thank each and everyone of you for coming with us today. We know that Shirley is with us today smiling down on us, and we hope that Shirley has touched your life for the better, just like she has forever touched ours.

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Shirley Maria Freistadt (Clarke)

Shirley Maria Freistadt passed away after a long battle with cancer, on January 1, 2020, surrounded by family. Shirley was born in Manchester, England, and was raised there with her sister, Susanne, before moving to Canada at age 10.

Shirley grew up riding her horse around the Cloverdale area. She married Lonny Freistadt on May 19, 1990, and welcomed daughters Sydney and Shelby in 1995 and 1997 respectfully. The family welcomed their beloved dog Meeko in 1999, who Shirley held dear to her heart even after his passing.

Shirley worked as an administrative assistant at British Columbia Institute of Technology (BCIT) until her early retirement to care for her daughters, in 2008. She enjoyed her job and met her lifelong group of friends while working there.

Shirley’s life was filled with love and her greatest joy was being with her family. Shirley enjoyed gardening, reading, long walks at White Rock Beach, and travelling. Family and friends agree that Shirley was the kindest and most generous person they knew, always ready to extend her love to the people who needed it the most and to care for others.

Shirley is predeceased by her mother, Beryl and her father-in-law Raymond. She is survived and missed by her husband Lonny, daughters Sydney (Samuel) and Shelby, father Ian (Margaret), mother-in-law Elsie, sisters Susanne (Wes) and Sharon (Simon), brother Daryl, best friend Debbie, nieces and nephews, and close friends.

Shirley is loved and missed by all. A celebration of her life will be hosted by Dignity Memorial.