Mrs. Anna Marie Lucarelli Troher

born. And when she died, on May 8, 2011, the world lost a kind and gentle soul.

She was born in Rome, Italy, to parents Guido and Tarsilla (nee Della Vedova)

Lucarelli. She lived in Italy (primarily in Florence and Lucca) until

immigrating with her parents and younger brother to the United States in 1956.

They settled in Chicago, arriving on a hot, summer day.

She was 20 then and spoke almost no English, but she embraced the U.S. culture

-- its people, its challenges -- taking English classes at her

neighborhood library in the evening while working during the day to help support

her family. The factories she worked at included Salerno and Playskool.

Her father worked as a chef at The Blackstone Hotel in Chicago, and one day he

invited a young cook named Robert Troher to his home to meet his family and

enjoy an Italian meal. Robert arrived in time for dinner, knocking at the

Lucarelli door. As soon as Anna Marie opened the door, he was taken aback by her

beauty. Knees weak, heart fluttering, he nearly tripped backward on the steps.

He fell in love with her on the spot. Easy to see why. She was so lovely -- with

rich, dark hair and green eyes the color of the sea. Years later he would tell his children: "When she opened the door I knew that was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with."

On June 18, 1960, the two were married, celebrating their honeymoon in Italy. It

would be the only time she returned to her homeland.

The following year Anna Marie and Robert welcomed a baby girl, Marianne,

followed two years later by Cynthia, the year after that by Kathleen, two years

later by Lisa and two years after that, finally, a baby boy, Robert. Anna Marie

had all five of her children between 1961 and 1968. You can imagine how busy she

was with diaper changes, feeding and daily care. And yet she always found time

to play with her children and make sure each of them felt special.

Being a good wife and mother was her life's work. She loved being a mom, not

only to her own children but to the neighborhood kids as well. The Troher house

always was filled with laughter and love. She taught through example that you

always can make room for one more at the dinner table, that you always should

speak kindly of others, that no matter how little you have there's always space

in your heart for compassion.

Years later as her children married and her family grew with sons-in-law, a

daughter-in-law and grandchildren, she shared her special philosophy with them.

She never preached, never commanded. She just lived her life with joy and

gentleness.

She was a great cook, making the best lasagna ever. Her house was filled with

the smells of simmering pasta sauce, fresh basil and tomatoes from the garden,

and every now and then burnt bread when she left it in the oven too long because

she was preoccupied with getting food on the table and tummies filled.

She was quick to share compliments, and she made friends with such ease. Whether

at a bus stop, the grocery store or in the church vestibule after Mass on

Sunday, she'd strike up conversations with people all over all the time. She was

approachable and made people feel good about themselves. She had a warm smile

and looked like everyone's huggable Italian mamma. She loved people. She loved

life. She loved to laugh.

She was not perfect, however, as one son-in-law humbly pointed out. She never learned to drive but while getting

into a car she often forgot where she was sitting. As a result, she would

have to explain to the driver what he was doing wrong for the whole trip.

As she aged she slowed down but continued to write notes and letters to friends

and loved ones. She was hospitalized many times during her last five years of

life, but whenever she got well she started writing again. Among her first cards

were those to her children, telling them how she regretted the pain she had put

them through while she was ill. She didn't feel sorry for herself. She felt

sorry for the struggles her children endured because of her illness.

Even during her most physically and emotionally trying times she fought to

return to health not so much for herself but for her children and grandchildren.

Finally, on May 8, 2011 -- Mother's Day -- her body could fight no more. She

died peacefully, surrounded by all five of her children, her sons-in-law, her

brother, Vincent, and his wife, Marta. She was so loved by all of them. She will

be greatly missed.

Left to celebrate her life and to keep her legacy of love and kindness alive are

her children, their spouses, Patrick Murphy, Michael Santay, Ross Werland and

Janet Troher; her grandchildren Patrick, Timothy, Kevin and Christopher Murphy,

Stephen, Alexander and Samantha Santay, Christopher (Marissa) and Andrew

(Kendall) Werland, Matthew Troher and Zachary Troher; her great-grandson Ari

Werland; her brother Vincent (Marta) Lucarelli; her sister-in-law Roberta

Troher; and countless nieces, nephews, friends and other relatives.

One more thing about Anna Marie. She left behind a few scraps of paper on which

she had written a couple song titles and Bible verses for her funeral Mass. She

also wrote these words: "Treat others as you want to be treated." That truly

sums up the way she approached everything she did. At her core, she was just

good. Plain and simple -- she was good.

Arrivederci, Mamma. Keep the dinner table set and the candle burning. We'll be

home with you soon.

Anna Marie Troher of Naperville, IL, died Sunday, May 8, at Good Samaritan Hospital in Downers Grove. She was 75. Anna Marie was born in Rome, Italy to Guido and Tarsilla (nee DellaVedova) Lucarelli on February 27, 1936. She grew up in Italy, primarily in Lucca and Florence. In 1956, she immigrated with her parents and younger brother to the United States, settling in Chicago. In 1960, she married Robert Troher in Chicago, which is where they raised their five children. She was preceded in death by her husband in 1997, her parents and a twin sister in infancy. She is survived by children Marianne (Patrick) Murphy, Cynthia (Michael) Santay, Kathleen Troher (Ross Werland), Lisa Troher and Robert (Janet) Troher; grandchildren Patrick, Timothy, Kevin and Christopher Murphy, Stephen, Alexander and Samantha Santay, Christopher (Marissa) and Andrew (Kendall) Werland, Matthew Troher and Zachary Troher, great-grandson Ari Werland; her brother Vincent (Marta) Lucarelli; sister-in-law Roberta Troher and many nieces and nephews. She was a great cook. She made friends easily. She was an incredible letter-writer. She loved to laugh. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to Daughters of Mary St. Joseph's Novitiate at http://daughtersofmary.net. Visitation Friday 3-9 pm. Prayers Saturday 8:45 am at Blake-Lamb Funeral Home, 5015 Lincoln Avenue, (0n Rt 53,1/2 mile south of Ogden Ave./Rt 34) Lisle to St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church, Lisle, IL. Mass 9:30 am. Interment Queen of Heaven Cemetery. For more information, please call us at 630-964-9392.