Ruth Ann Mary Perry Spears

She was born in St. Louis, Mo. on July 13, 1938, the eldest child of Ruth (Carr) and Bernard A. Perry.

She is preceded in death by her parents, husband Randall G. Spears, mother-in-law Edith Franzell (Skipworth), stepdaughter Rhonda Raley (Spears), brother and sister-in-law Thomas C. and Janice Perry, and nephew Jeffrey Perry.

She is survived by her daughter, Michele Spears (Dave Bushnell), siblings Mary L. Perry and Bernard J. Perry (Janis Spillman), son-in-law Joseph Raley, stepson Steven Spears (Susanne), grandsons Leif and Sean Spears, nephews Keith Perry (Trace), Chris Perry (Mary Margaret), and Brian Perry (Adrienne Bach), Thomas C. Perry, Jr. (Heidi), niece Virginia Brewer (Tim), 3 great grandchildren, and several great nieces and nephews. She is also preceded and survived by a bounty of dear friends, and four-legged companions.

A long time employee of L&N/CSX, she rose through the company and was Director of Compliance and Reporting at her retirement. She then volunteered her time to help manage the family business, The Pet School and Hotel. She was a dedicated and beloved member of the National Association of Railway Business Women where she held many positions, was selected as Woman of the Year, served as President from 1998 to 2000, and continued to serve on the Emeritus Council. She was also a national officer for the American Business Women’s Association, a member and past President of the Breckinridge Estates Neighborhood Association, a graduate of Ursuline Academy, and a Kentucky Colonel.

Hers was a life of giving, of love in action, of laughter, impact, and grace.

She held us in her strong hands, now we forever hold her in our hearts.

A visitation will take place on Friday, June 17, 2022 from 3:00 PM – 8:00 PM at Arch L. Heady at Resthaven, 4400 Bardstown Road. Visitation will resume on Saturday morning from 9:30 AM – 11:00 AM, with funeral service in Ruth’s honor beginning at 11:00 AM. Ruth will be laid to rest in Resthaven Memorial park.The family is kindly requesting that their guests wear a mask to keep everyone safe.

In honor of Ruth’s generous support of numerous organizations, please consider a memorial donation to your favorite charity.

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"Do everything in love."(1 Corinthians 16:14)

Seems like that sums it up pretty clearly - sums up mom as well. For my mom, love was more than an emotion, it was a verb, a practice, it was action. Her generosity, her acceptance of everyone, her practical abilities to step in to any situation and do what was needed to make it better, or hold it all together, or clean it up … it was all guided by love. And once she loved you, it was forever and irrevocable.

When I was around mom, I was just a better human. She showed up with everything she had to give in the moment, and you had to match her. She would disarm me, make me leave my cynicism outside, put my armor down. And I saw her do the same with others. People always seemed to be smiling around her - she just made the room lighter. If you knew her, you already know that. Although we each knew her in different ways - I’m sure you all felt her kindness, her generosity, her grace - and her love.

I’ve felt it my whole life. When my dear friend from college first met my mom - he told me after that it all made sense - that he finally understood where my confidence, and strength, and joy came from… from being so unconditionally loved. So much of who I am was gifted to me by my mother. She gave me permission to dream, an empowered independence, and belief in myself. She overcame so many hurdles in her own life in order to give me as smooth a path as possible, putting so many of her own needs aside in order to fulfill mine. I suppose that’s what all mothers do - she just took it to epic places!

She was such an accomplished business woman, trailblazing and creating her own opportunities. She built a career with the railroads, first with L&N, and then with CSX, starting as a secretary and retiring as Director of Compliance and Reporting. She was balancing work and parenting long before it became a topic of cultural conversation - and excelling at both.

Ruth means “friend” - and her life was rich with long time friends who are devoted to her. Many of whom where colleagues and members of American Business Women's Association and the National Association of Railway Business Women where she was a long-time member and leader, constantly serving in local or national offices, including National President.

She loved doing for others - devoting her time and resources to organizations and causes that she believed in - and for most of her life our house was the place for slumber parties, birthday parties, holiday celebrations. It was important for her to create a space for everyone to come together, and for the house to be filled with people and laughter. She loved Christmas especially - I suppose that’s also true for a lot of people, but she took that to epic places as well!

She loved animals - especially her own “babies”. We both believe that animals can cut right to it in terms of connection , and that they have much to teach us - how to just sit and be with another living creature and share so much on a level different than language. Communicating quite clearly in silence.

Mom and I had our own silent conversations. We’re still having them. Maybe you are too. I hope you can still feel her lifting you up, holding you, loving you. Take a breath and feel her right here in this moment right here right now. In her understated and profound ways - she is here. She’s in our hearts pushing us to actively love each other - in our hands helping us to do good - in our heads clarifying what is important and what is not - in our guts keeping us brave no matter what we face next. She would want us to use our lives well in her memory.

She loved to dance - and she was a great dancer! When she talked about her life, she would light up when she talked about dancing. She met my father on a dance floor. Night Train, by Jimmy Forrest, was one of her favorite songs, so we are going to play that as we end today…and as you leave, I invite you to dance a little as you go - I know mom would be pleased.

-----Michele Spears, daughter

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Death is nothing at all. It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room. Everything remains as it was.

The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no sorrow in your tone. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before.

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again. (Henry Scott Holland)

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If I should die and leave you here a while,

be not like others sore undone, who keep

long vigils by the silent dust, and weep.

For my sake – turn again to life and smile,

nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do

something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.

Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine

and I, perchance, may therein comfort you. (Mary Lee Hall)

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I read of a reverend who stood to speak at the funeral of his friend.

He referred to the date on her tombstone from the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke the following date with tears,

but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth

and now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash.

What matters is how we lived and loved and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard. Are there things you'd like to change?

For you never know how much time is left. You could be at "dash mid-range"

If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and real,

and always try to understand the way other people feel,

and be less quick to anger, show appreciation more

and love the people in our life like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect, more often wear a smile

remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read with your life's actions to rehash

....would you be pleased with the things they say about how you spent your dash? (Linda Ellis)

While I was thinking about my thoughts and the stories I wanted to say about Ruthie, I tried to remember when I met Ruth and I must tell you all that I couldn’t. In fact I don’t remember when I didn’t know Ruth. She meant more to me than I have the words to explain and she was very important in my life. But there are hundreds of people who could and would say the same about Ruth. She was truly an amazing human being. We worked together, traveled together laughed a lot and talked about everything….just not over the phone!

When she was National President of NARBW she trained me by involving me in all the duties she had ……. It was the most intense training anyone could have had and she knew she was grooming me……..for NARBW and for life.

While I have hundreds of stories and such wonderful memories of our travels together there isn’t enough time to reminisce about all of them. Some of you here today, Doris who has been present for most of our adventures and even an active participant in most, should be smiling for when we were with Ruthie it meant there always loads of laughter and a few margaritas.

What I’d like to say to you all is that Ruth was the person I always wanted to be and having known her made me a better human being. You’d never find another person who had no enemies, and spoke only good things about people. Had such a deep spiritual core that it made those around her behave in a manner not to disappoint her.

She was respected and valued by the leaders of the Railroads she worked for and her integrity was never questioned by the Federal Railroad Administration, which was rare in her line of work. Ruthie was a beloved member of NARBW and a very special and beloved National President, who needed a step stool to be seen over the flowers in front of the podium…..when asked to stand up she would always reply, “I am Standing” with laughter.

Ruth was sincere, devoted, hardworking, true to her faith and a true servant to her family and all she called friends. Michele I don’t know if I could tell you exactly how much your Mother meant to me and how she changed my life. She will forever be a very precious part of my memories. I trust as she did that we’ll see each other again and she'll say to me “It’s about time Honey Bunny, I’ve missed you”.

Thank you all for allowing me to honor my dear friend and give you my thoughts of how Ruth Ann Mary Perry Spears spent part of her DASH! She truly touched everyone she knew. She was too humble to say this but I think she’d be pleased with the things we say about how she spent her dash!

See you “Honey Bunny”

---- Sandy Hall, friend and colleague

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Ruthie and I have been friends almost 50 years. We still are because she lives in my memories and right here in my heart. I first met Ruthie when I went to work for the L&N Railroad, now known as CSX, from which we both retired. I needed a job and Ruthie had mentioned to a mutual friend of ours that the L&N was hiring. This friend gave Ruthie my name and she actually, without even knowing me, recommended me to the personnel department. I was hired and I know it was due to her recommendation. She was always highly regarded at the L&N and CSX. We met face-to-face shortly after I was hired and the friendship began.

Her daughter Michele used to babysit my daughter Kim, and both of them have grown into beautiful, confident, and successful young women. Michele, Ruthie was so proud of you. Do you remember the pizza commercial you made? Everybody on the railroad knew it. I don't remember what Pizza Company it was, but I imagine their sales went up 100% because Ruthie's daughter was in the commercial!

Ruthie was indeed special, and the most selfless person I have ever known. To know her was to love her and she will be so missed by so many. She would not want us to be sad at her passing, but to remember her with love and laughter. Hers was a life of giving, of love, of laughter, of kindness, of respect and of dignity. I can hear her now, looking down on me and saying, “ I'm OK Hunny Bunny!”

Ruth was a great listener, always encouraging and never judging. She was a great caregiver to to the family that's gone before her… Her mother, her dad, Tommy, Edith, Randall and Rhonda. She recently cared for her sister Mary during her illness and Mary I'm happy to say is still with us. Ruthie never complained, not even a headache. If she was sick, we never knew it. I thought she was indestructible. She did complain once though but it wasn't really a complaint, more like just a comment. She mentioned that during his illness Randy like to watch westerns and wanted Ruthie to watch with him, so she did. But Randy never remembered them so they’d watch them over and over. After he passed she told me that she was never ever going to watch another western. She would hate it at our house - we watch Gunsmoke every day… yep all 635 episodes and we've seen them a half dozen times or more. Only thing is we either fall asleep in the beginning, or the end, or in the middle so we have never actually seen a whole episode!

Another special trait of Ruthie's was that she never swore and didn't like to hear it either. Me and our friend Sandy have been known to utter an occasional word or two, but she tolerated us with only a shake of her head and the promise to light a candle for us. However, there was one young man who received her full-fledged wrath - the only time I know of that this happened. This particular young man worked at the railroad and in the opinion of some of us, was kind of a jerk. Unknowingly while standing by her desk one day, he used a particularly offensive word. Ruthie was out of her chair like a shot, stepped around her desk and smacked him right in the mouth! In today's work climate that would have evolved into a real incident, but in this instance her boss came out of his office and said "Well, I guess you won't be using that language around here anymore”, and went back into his office. To my knowledge, the young man kept a very low profile around Ruthie thereafter.

As you know, Ruthie was short in stature but bore all the short jokes with good nature. While I have shrunk somewhat, I used to be 5'9" and wearing 3 inch heels - 6 feet tall. So you can imagine what Ruthie and I looked like standing next to each other. And of course you know how women like to hug each other “hello” and “goodbye”, well Ruthie didn't like to hug me because her head hit right about my chest and made her uncomfortable. So we always did side hugs… my arm around her shoulder and her arm around my waist

When she was National President of NARBW, we had to get a stool for her to stand on at the podium. Even then she was just barely able to be seen and someone would invariably shout "standup Ruthie" and she would reply, "I am standing". I know Ruthie is in heaven and when God says to her, ”Stand up Ruthie so everyone can see you have arrived”, she will say, "Father, I am standing”.

In closing, I would like to share a short poem with you:

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.

----Doris Stemmer, friend and colleague

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Lord, make me an instrument of your peace

where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon;


where there is doubt, faith;
 where there is despair, hope;


where there is darkness, light;
 where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. (Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi)

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For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you, I'll be forever thankful, baby

You're the one who held me up, never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith, 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand, I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love, I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me

The tender wind that carried me

A light in the dark, shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration

Through the lies, you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

I'm everything I am because you loved me

I love you.

(Diane Warren)