Dr. Sue Land Dear

Memphis, Tennessee – Sue Land Dear passed away in her sleep in the presence of her three children, Grover Jr., Douglas, and Deanna on Monday night, July 30th at the age of 87 years and 8 months. Funeral service will be held on Friday, August 3rd at 2:00 p.m. at Memphis Funeral Home, 5599 Poplar Avenue, Memphis 38119. Visitation will precede the funeral service at 12 noon – 2:00pm. Following the service, entombment will be at Memorial Park Cemetery.

A Memorial Service will also be held on Thursday, August 2nd at 2:00pm at Kirby Pines Estates Chapel, 3535 Kirby Road, Memphis 38115.

Born December 1, 1924 in Webster County, Mississippi…… the first of four children born to DeWitt and Geniece Land……… Sue Land attended Edgeworth School for the first year of her education, and then attended Alva Grade School and High School, where she graduated highest in her class in 1940. She attended Holmes Junior College in 1940, then Delta State College in 1943 where she received her Bachelor’s Degree in Home Economics in 1946.

In 1945, she met Grover C. Dear in Sallis, Mississippi, and they were married June 17, 1946 in Cleveland, Mississippi. They resided in Jackson, Mississippi until 1948, when they moved to Memphis. In 1952, they became a part of the community of Whitehaven where they lived for 35 years, before moving to Cordova in 1987, and then to Kirby Pines Estates in 2005.

She was a member of Whitehaven Baptist Church and a founding member of Graceland Baptist Church. Sue was a member of Delta Kappa Gamma Society International and a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, Chucalissa Chapter. In addition to her spiritual and educational foundations, she traveled the world extensively with her husband of 65 years, including Asia, Europe, Australia, and the full extent of North America.

Sue Dear received her Specialist Studies Degree at The University of Memphis, obtained her Master’s Degree from The University of Mississippi in 1969, and received her Doctorate from Oklahoma State University in 1984. Her 40 year career in education included teaching positions at Whitehaven High School for 25 years, then the Memphis City Schools of Wooddale, Geeter, and Carver, before accepting teaching positions at The University of Mississippi in 1980 and Stephen F. Austin State University, Texas in 1984. In 1986, she became Head of the Department of Interiors and Home Sciences at Blue Mountain College, where she remained until her retirement in 1992.

Preceded in death by her husband, Grover, her brother Carrol Philip Land, and her sister Evelyn Land Bays, she is survived by her son Grover Clarence Dear, Jr. of Hong Kong; her son Douglas Land Dear and daughter-in-law Cynthia of Austin, Texas; her daughter Deanna Dear Sanders and son-in-law Keith of Cordova, Tennessee; her sister Nell Land Williams of Cleveland, Mississippi; and her grandchildren Lindsey, Whitney, Ashton, & Jordan Dear of Virginia Beach, Virginia; Hayden & Regan Sanders of Cordova, Tennessee; and her step-grandchildren Jon, Trey, & Danielle Roberts of Austin, Texas.

Sue Dear’s life focused on both family and professional commitments, where she not only influenced her family and friends, but also mentored thousands of students and individuals through her teaching skills, her creative and artistic talents, and her dedication to excellence in all that she achieved. Her life is a true blessing to all that knew her, and her legacy is the perfect testament to her sense of quality, accomplishment, and love of family.

In lieu of flowers, please send memorials for the “Dr. Sue Dear Memorial Fund”, in care of:

Grover C. Dear, Jr. [email protected] , or

Vanguard Landing @ 2133 Upton Drive, suite 125, Box 272, Virginia Beach, Virginia 23454.

The “Dr. Sue Land Dear Memorial Fund” at Vanguard Landing is currently making a reality of Sue Dear’s life-long dream to create an educational and progressive community for youth and adults with mild to moderate intellectual disabilities. Vanguard Landing's ultimate masterplan will encompass a 101 acre self-sustaining residential community located in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Funeral Service for Sue Land Dear

2:00 pm, Friday, August 3, 2012

Memphis Funeral Home, Memphis TN

Born: December 1, 1924

Died: July 30, 2012

Visitation with harpist playing

Piano interlude, concluding with "In the Garden" by harpist

Opening comments & scripture........Dr. Danny Sinquefield

Eulogy...................Grover C. Dear, Jr.

Music/Video...........of Sue Dear’s life

Remembrances.....Douglas L. Dear

"Tea Party"............Deanna Dear Sanders with Regan & Hayden Sanders

Message................Dr. Danny Sinquefield

Music Vocal..........Deanna Sanders a Cappella, “Amazing Grace”

Benediction, followed by.....

Entombment at Memorial Park Cemetery

with Faith Ensemble singing a Cappella, "Still"

Eulogy for Dr. Sue L. Dear

given by Grover C. Dear, Jr.

August 3, 2012

Nothing Sue Dear ever did could be “ordinary”……..everything she did had to be “extraordinary”. So how can I and Doug and Deanna possibly describe our Mother ?

• Ultimate grace & manners,

• Absolute determination to achieve,

• Dignified excitement perhaps, and always

• Perfection on every level……

These phrases easily come to my mind…….. and all of you here today have your own interpretation of how Mother touched your lives in her own special “Dear” way.

Sue Land Dear………. In retrospect, Mother’s maiden name, Land, was very, very symbolic. She grew up in the red clay hills of Webster County, Mississippi during the depths of the Great Depression. I always loved taking trips with Mother & Daddy in the car……“her Cadillac”……. and as we drove, she would talk for hours about her Land family history. Mother told me that…… “back then, if you didn’t have land to grow things on, you didn’t eat….. you didn’t survive!” As soon as she could walk, she was toddling out in the garden, or the fields, or in the kitchen with her Mother, or her Aunt Sis, or her Grandmother "Maw Land" learning how to make something special out of whatever came from “the Land”. She was the first of four children born to DeWitt & Geniece Land, and therefore was expected to always be “in charge”. Her younger siblings, brother Carrol and sisters, Evelyn & Nell looked up to her as either the mentor or the referee……the scholar or the example. Her Mother, my Granny Land, always told her (and everybody else within earshot) that, “if you don’t get your education, you might as well grow up to be a Mule!” Well…….. Mother definitely did not grow up to be a Mule! She took that advice to heart, and she was determined that she would survive well ! She got her education and always worked towards perfection to the highest degree. And speaking of degrees, she put herself through Junior College, then College, then University, then Graduate School, and finally received her Doctorate in 1984, just a few short months before her Mother passed away. No one can ever imagine how proud that made her Mother feel !

In 1945 ...... when she met a fine, handsome, young man returning from World War II named Grover...... they fell in love. Married in 1946, they began their true American Dream…… a dream that included their individual careers and their mutual goals. Together, they raised three healthy & “educated” children and built a strong life together that lasted for over 65 years. In this day and age of disposable love and commitments with expiry dates, their life is a true fairy tale……a fantasy that lived reality.

Mother’s absolute determination and her “can do” attitude certainly inspired her three children and all those she came in contact with.

She could make anything…….whether she was in her kitchen, or in her sewing room, or in her classroom……..or even in “her” Cadillac........

• From her kitchen, Mother’s holiday meals were a feast for the eye as well as the palate. Not only the dining room was perfectly set with her china and silver and filled with delicious and elegant delights, but our entire home would be themed and decorated in the appropriate tradition. Although Betty Crocker was in vogue back then, Mother was the original Martha Stewart of her generation! She always made sure I got the Turkey leg at Thanksgiving or Christmas. She loved Christmas! and she instilled in me that same love of preparing for and looking forward to that Season. Her birthday is December 1st, and that date always signaled it was time to start decorating. And then each day as it got closer and closer to Christmas, a holiday wreathe, or a manger scene, or a gingerbread house, or something else she had made would be added to the decor of our home…….then, she would animatedly rub her hands together, and say “Christmas is a’comin’ ! Christmas is a’comin’ !” I will never forget that sparkle in her eye and that “little girl” happiness in her voice as she exclaimed those words!

• From her sewing room, Mother’s sewing skills surpassed belief....... whether it was making Pleated Swag curtains that Scarlett O'Hara would have envied.......... or upholstering furniture........ or fabricating the finest garments from patterns she would draw and cut from old newspaper. I remember the wedding dress she made for her sister, Nell. It had yards and yards of lace that she delicately cut out with her cuticle scissors and applied in special patterns. The wedding dress Mother created for Deanna had over 30,000 seed pearls, each one carefully stitched in place with her amazing hands. The christening gown of French lace covered with her intricate hand embroidery was worn first by me 63 years ago, then by my brother Doug, and finally by my sister Deanna as each of us came home from the hospital after we were born. The term “Too much is not enough” perfectly describes Mother when it came to her magic with fabrics and design. Her favorite color was blue……Blue was her basic black, and blue was always appropriate for every occasion. She could spend hours and hours in fabric stores just looking, and imagining, and touching the multitude of textures and coloration. Another vivid memory I have, is I always said goodnight to her while she worked in her sewing room. She always sewed into the middle of the night………She said it was “her therapy”.

• Mother’s classrooms were her “stage”. She thrived on creating programs and curricula to stimulate her students. Whether in the Home Economics department at Whitehaven High School, or as Professor and Head of her departments at Ole Miss, or Blue Mountain College, or Stephen F. Austin State University in Texas, she excelled at learning and researching new ideas. I remember back in the early 60's when she was asked by Memphis Department Stores to share her recipes and demonstrate how to use this new-fangled invention called “a micro-wave oven.” Again, she prided herself in being the first to accomplish anything new and innovative. "Dr. Mom", as she was called at University, loved teaching her students the importance of good design and planning, whether in a domestic setting or a professional one. Her unconditional rule in her classroom was……..you must wear what you’ve sewn and eat what you’ve cooked. Once, some mischievous students in High School cooking class intentionally substituted salt instead of sugar into a recipe. Nothing ever slipped by Mother, so while the students were giggling and baking, she tactfully made sure the Principal paid a surprise visit to her class for a taste-test. That day, those “creative students” definitely learned the difference between salt and sugar! Situations such as this, continued to enhance her students’ respect for Mother as the mentor and referee, the scholar and example.

• Even with her Cadillac, which was one thing that she didn’t really make, she proved to herself that she had “made it”. This proof came about when she was able to finally buy her first Cadillac……and she knew she had “made it”! She “made it” again regularly, when she looked forward to getting a new Cadillac every year for many, many years after that! And they were almost always blue. Boy, she loved riding in style! She loved seeing her name Dr. Sue L. Dear engraved on the dashboard, and she loved knowing she was “surviving well” !

Not only could she make anything, she could do anything …..except swim, or get on an escalator. On all other matters, her “can do” spirit carried her easily into any new experience that she wasn’t familiar with. She always said, “If you don’t know how to do it, just figure it out……. and do it!” That pretty much sums up her philosophy of achievement. However, she never did learn to swim and the only time in her life that she had her head under water was when she was baptized in the pond out behind Edgeworth Church way out in the middle of nowhere. "Thank you Lord", that she was baptized in the middle of nowhere, because she was too much of a lady to ever let anyone see her with her hair wet. And she never left a shopping mall or public building without creating a pile-up of frustrated shoppers / pedestrians behind her as she waited, and watched the rhythm of the moving stair, and counted the steps, and paced her timing and courage to take that 1st step onto those moving steps. She never had a problem getting off!

She loved her flowers and loved being" in the garden". She was most happy when she was examining her roses. Mother didn’t know the meaning of hate and never hated anything, but the closest she ever came to a love/hate relationship was with any weed that crossed her path! No matter where she was or what she was doing, she could spot a weed at 50 paces and nothing would stop her until every sprig of nut grass or crabgrass in sight was eliminated. She hated to find them……and loved to pull them up.

Mother’s response to any situation was always poised & practical…….always honest & elegant. That’s how Steel Magnolias are! That knowledge of her will be in my heart forever as I begin my next Chapter in this life without my Steel Magnolia. Nobody loves you like your Mother. After 87 and a half years in this life, Sue Dear is now still ahead of me, ahead of us all…. and she’s glowing with happiness and thanks for her life perfectly lived. Mother did her mission well. She emanated the love for her husband and children and extended family outwardly to all that were fortunate enough to experience her presence. She is now with Daddy, her original Grover, and she’s with all the other Dears and Lands that she talked about and loved so much. She has no pain or discomfort or loss of memory.

There are no more “Sue Dears” in this world. And as I know this is my end of an era of a true family fairy tale of love & commitment & accomplishment……..I will let her depart for a more perfect place. I will now smile, I will now celebrate, and We will all take comfort in knowing she will forever be Sue, Mother, Momma, Nana, and Gammy……… that true comfort will sustain us til we meet again.

I’ll close with a perfect poem for a perfect lady, perfect Mother. It was sent to me last week from my minister of my lovely church in Sausalito, CA. Mother and Daddy, as well as Nell and Meg and Jennifer and many of you have worshipped with me there. It’s a poem by Henry Van Dyke, who also wrote the words to "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee".........

I am standing upon the seashore..........

An amazing ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze,

and starts out for the blue, blue seas.

She is an object of beauty and strength, I stand

and watch her sail away, until at length,

She hangs like a speck of white cloud on the horizon just where the sky mingles with the seas.

Someone at my side says, "There, She is gone."

Then someone else says, "Gone where?"

And then I say, "She’s gone from my sight. That is all.”

She is just as large in mast and hull and spirit as when She left my side,

and She is just as able to bear her load of living freight on her destined tide.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at that moment as someone said "There, She is gone" ……..

there are other eyes watching her coming,

and other voices ready to take up the glad shout……

"Here She comes……..HERE SHE COMES ! ”