Thomas Francis McCarthy Jr.

Thomas F. McCarthy, age 90, died in his sleep during a full moon on February 12, 2025, in Murrieta after a long illness that he lived with while displaying his customary humor and grace. Tom, as he liked to be called, was born in Waterbury, Connecticut on June 10, 1934. His parents were Thomas F. McCarthy, Sr. and Helen Roach McCarthy. He graduated from Crosby High School in Waterbury in 1952 and earned a Bachelor of Science from Providence College in 1956. Tom then enlisted in the Navy, was commissioned as an Ensign, and served as a Lieutenant JG at the Naval Training Center, San Diego. He met Maureen Frances Kilroy, who was a smart, feisty, registered nurse in San Diego and they were married for over 50 years until her untimely death in 2012. Maureen and Tom were devoted to one another and to their sons Stephen, Michael, and John. They had high standards that they held themselves to and instilled in their children.

Tom was a high energy “doer” and an organizational genius. Tom’s written lists, notes, and maps were numerous and legendary. He started his career in industrial sales at Avisco Corporation in the late 1950s. His organizational skills were recognized and he was recruited to what became known as Glass Containers Corp., a Norton Simon Company. He excelled and was promoted to Vice President of Sales by developing a professional sales force profitably serving large companies and many of the leading wineries in the Napa and Sonoma Valleys. In his later years he served as a manufacturer’s representative for Epsen Hilmer Graphics eventually “retiring” at age 79. If you see a Langer’s Juice label, Tom probably had an influence on it.

He was involved in many organizations during his professional career and he typically served as a leader. He was a member of the Western Packaging Association for many years rising to President. He was a part of wine makers’ guilds and organizations. He served as the Chairman of the Our Lady of Guadalupe Fiesta in La Habra, which was a well-organized, huge financial success for the church. Later he played a role in the St. Martha’s Pantry. He served on a committee in each homeowners’ association where he lived, typically serving as secretary. Tom’s other accomplishments are too numerous to list, but those who served with him recognized his positive contributions.

Tom supported his sons in their activities by attending every game, match, or play he could. He worked long hours during the week so he could spend time with his family during the weekends. He served in the La Habra High School Booster Club and ran the wrestling Take Down Tournament for several years. Although he was not a hiker, he contributed to Boy Scout Troop 883 by participating in driving trips and organizing and participating with the team that moved cars from a John Muir trailhead to the end of that year’s trail. Schatt’s Bakery in Bishop was a mandatory stop.

Tom was not all work. He had fun too. He traveled extensively with Maureen to Europe, Canada, and family driving trips throughout the US were epic. Their 50th Wedding Anniversary was celebrated with a family cruise to Alaska that everyone enjoyed. Many albums are filled with photos of family adventures and yearly adventures with Maureen and, at times, friends.

Throughout his life two of Tom’s passions were cars and auto racing. Tom loved to drive and to do it will style. Tom attended races at Riverside, Ontario, Ascot, Laguna Seca, and even Indy. His vehicles were meticulously maintained and paint was protected by layers of high quality, hand applied wax. Eventually Lincolns became a passion and Tom’s ‘66 Lincoln Continental slab side, ember glow colored convertible was a category winner. The Lincoln Club provided more opportunities to travel and develop deep friendships with other members of the Lincoln owners’ community. Those friendships lasted and are greatly appreciated even after Tom sold his Lincolns because of his health.

Tom was determined and adaptable. He had more than his share of health issues, which he met head on and adjusted to with style. He continued to stand when most people would be in a wheelchair. When he could no longer go out, he welcomed people into his life and met his limitations without complaint or self-pity. He was “on” and holding court during his recent 90th Birthday and family Christmas calls. His strong life spark only recently flickered and was extinguished so he could be reunited with Maureen and other family members.

Tom is survived by his sons and their surviving spouses. He is also survived by his grandchildren BreAnne Steiner, Sean McCarthy, Lakin Beard, and Bryn McCarthy, great grandchildren Greyson and Cole McCarthy, nieces Diane McCarthy and Maureen Gacek, daughter-in-law Donna McCarthy, and son-in-law Fernando Carrillo. He is predeceased by his parents, wife Maureen F. McCarthy, brother Robert McCarthy, father and mother-in-law William and Mary Kilroy, sister-in-law Betty Kilroy, and daughter-in-law Merrill McCarthy.

Tom was a powerful personality who was a friend and mentor to many. He was one of a kind and he left those behind following his death feeling extremely lucky they were either related to him or his friend. Indeed, his sons believe that they won the “parental lottery” by having Tom and Maureen as their parents. They are also grateful for the care he received in his later years and the friends – you know who you are – who continued to visit when Tom could no longer come to you. The periodic visits from friends and local family were important to Tom and made his life better.