Ted Engel

It has been said that the greatest memorial a man can have is the way he is remembered. And he will be remembered. To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. Let us remember that a funeral is as much for the consolation of the living as it is for the comfort of the deceased.

Ted and I grew up as cousins in a large and loving family of uncles, aunts,brothers, sisters and cousins. We have been there for each other through the worst of times as well as the best, but above all, I will remember the good times and the laughter.

Knowing that this day would come has not made it any easier. We never fully comprehend death until it takes someone we love. We live as if life was certain and death is uncertain, whereas in fact, it is death that is certain and life uncertain. Life is about learning how to live, how to die, how to let go and how to hold on to what is important. It is easy to let things go ... it is hard to let people go.

Children, remember your father and grandfather with pride and joy, and never forget how much he loved you and how very proud he was of each and every one of you.

Ted, you left us with so much and took so little. You always made time to make everyone feel so special and found the best in people and situations. You taught us to look at life with a positive attitude and search within to be the best we could be. You were one of a kind ... honest, generous, loving, always a gentleman. You were the best husband, father, grandpa, brother, cousin and friend.

There is not a day that will go by that you will not be thought of with love. You will live on through everyone whose life you touched...you will live on through us. God shine his eternal light on you.

Olga

DAD’S EULOGY by Danny Engel

In 1911, a young man from Eastern Europe decided to begin a new life in Canada. Jacob Engel moved to Montreal where he settled in the Plateau area of Montreal. Several years later he married Pauline Cicura and together they had 4 children; Tony, Laura, Ted, and Edmond. This is a celebration of the life of my father Ted Engel.

Ted was born on St. Norbert street on November 2, 1928. Life was tough then as the Great Depression was just beginning. Although the family was poor, they managed by whatever means possible to raise their children in a loving and caring environment. Ted was your typical inner city boy, enjoying life to its fullest and being a practical joker that many young boys can be. In his teens he developed a remarkable talent for swimming. He would spend hours on end at the Schubert Baths swimming pool doing lap after lap of his favourite and strongest stroke, the crawl.

Like most boys of that era, and still to this day, Ted was very fond of cars. He bought his very first car, a 1942 Buick Nash and with his dashing good lucks and gift of the gab, proceeded to create quite a stir in the hearts of many a young female.

In the summer of 1949, at Camp Otoreke in the Laurentians, Ted met a very beautiful young blond woman named Frances Zizunas. Frances was fluently bilingual, that is in Lithuanian and French and spoke English with just enough of a cute accent to drive Ted absolutely crazy. He pursued her and it was not long before this newfound couple realized that they were madly in love. On May 30, 1952 at a splendid ceremony at St. Casimir’s parish, Ted and Frances began a life long bond of love and respect. They began their life together in the basement flat of my mother’s parents, Charlie and Charlotte on 10th avenue in Rosemount.

Ted had a remarkable ability at drafting and designing and his brother Tony convinced him to follow his footsteps. Ted began a career as a jeweller, designing many fashionable rings, broaches, pendants, and necklaces. He was commissioned by the Royal Canadian Legion in 1951 to produce a broach that was to be presented to Princess Elizabeth who later became Queen of England during her first visit to Canada. Rumour has it that it is among her most cherished piece in her vast collection of jewels.

Ted needed more of a challenge and in 1957, he decided on a change in career and began working as a life insurance salesman. After selling policies to just about every living relative including their pets, Ted decided that it was time for something more. He knew that he could sell and in 1963 decided to join the ranks of Redirack Industries as a salesman for warehouse shelving, pallet racking, and industrial storage solutions. Ted was relentless in his work ethic. He knew what his clients needed and he was like a crazed man on a mission. When Ted smelled the chance of a sale, there was no stopping him. He did whatever was required to convince his clients that they could not afford NOT to buy his products. He very quickly became the top salesman for the company and not long after, he was promoted to Sales Manager. Ted commanded complete honesty, respect, and devotion from his sales staff and was ruthless in his pursuit of success. He ran the company like it was his own and often set targets ridiculously high only to finish by achieving them. One of his favourite sayings was “Aim high”. Ted was such a success in his position that he was eventually promoted to the top position of General Manager of the company.

While working hard to provide for his new bride, Ted managed to find enough time to follow some of his favourite passions: hunting and fishing. Many weekends were spent with his brothers and friends duck hunting around the marshes surrounding Montreal. Ted was an extremely accurate shot and there are stories of ducks flying by with three of four hunters taking shots and all missing until Ted raised the gun to his shoulder. The next thing that poor duck saw was the inside of a casserole dish, thanks to his reluctant but very obliging wife.

In 1955, Ted and Frances decided it was time to begin a family. As my daughter Leah mentioned earlier, one of his favourite sayings was “replace thyself on earth, plus one”. Well he did with Bobby in 1955 and myself in 1957 and after realizing just how much fun it really was, decided to go for the hat- trick and in 1960 Ronnie was born. Being somewhat of a macho man, can you imagine the pride that he had when he would take his three boys to church at St. Brendans parish in Rosemount.

Shortly after Bobby was born, Mom and Dad purchased their very first new home, a duplex in the St. Michel district. Dad continued working hard so that Mom could stay at home and raise their children with the love and care that they both felt we deserved. Our summers were always spent up in Val David where we rented a summer chalet on Blue Valley Road. We would spent the days swimming at Sandy Beach while my dad worked in Montreal, often coming up on Wednesday evenings to break up the week and be with his family.

Dad was the provider but Mom was the manager. Dad would always come home on payday with a wad of freshly printed cash and he would proceed to throw it on the floor for the three boys to wrinkle up. He always said that having new bills in your wallet was not good because they would have a tendency to stick together so wrinkling them up was good and we had a blast doing it.

After several summers renting in Blue Valley Road, Dad decided that it was time to build a summer home of his own. Thanks to the generosity of my grandmother Charlotte who bought several lots in Vallee Bleu, Dad began building our very own summer chalet. My Dad was an extremely talented man and self taught builder. He built the house, installed the electricity and plumbing himself, all without the help of a professional. When Dad had a project in mind, he would often spend hours thinking it over, “fornortonizing” as he liked to call it. Nothing scared him and he was never intimidated by any project, no matter how big or complex. He would draw, measure, redraw and re-measure and when he finally felt he had it right he would proceed. Another of his favourite sayings was “measure three times but cut once”. I wish I had always followed this advice as I would have saved a lot in building materials. In the summer of 1963, our own chalet in Vallee Bleu was completed. We spend every weekend there as well as our summer and winter vacations. It is where we learned how to ski together as a family.

We would often spend hours swimming in the North River going down a small rapid we affectionately called “the Chutes”. I was petrified of the fast rushing water but somehow in my Dad’s arms I felt safe and confident. Dad always took some time off to play with his sons and join us at the beach but only after putting in long hours under the summer sun making our chalet the home it is today.

Mom and Dad ensured that we grew up enjoying life and nature to its fullest. I have fond memories of camping in the Adirondacks with my cousins Joanne, Lynne and Kim and of camping in Cape Cod.

Dad loved to fish and for several summers we would drive up to Val D’Or where we stayed at the Skory cabin and fished for pike and walleye. We would catch so much fish that we used to have an annual party at the end of August where we would serve up cherry smoked pike and walleye and fresh corn on the cob. It was an event that we all looked forward to year after year.

In the pursuit of a real full fledged adventure trip, Dad decided to take my brother Bobby and I on a real remote trip. We drove for 6 hours on dirt roads towards Parent, Quebec where he had a float plane reserved that flew us even farther north to a lake only accessible by air. We spent a week there living in a very rustic tent cabin and we had the time of our life.

As Dad’s three sons grew older and moved on Dad retired from Redirack in 1983. Mom was very used to running the ship on her own but now with the lifelong manager “in her face” 24/7, Mom gave Dad the ultimatum. Either he goes back to work or she starts. Dad was quite content with the retired lifestyle so Mom began what was an 11 year career working for the school board. Dad always wanted to retire to Val David but Mom being somewhat of a city girl who loved the action of Montreal, refused to live full time in the country. Dad then launched an action plan that eventually worked. He decided to put in all the extra finishing touches in Val David like a new kitchen and a Jacuzzi bathtub and more with the intention of making it so nice that she would have no problem living there full time. Well like most of his plans it worked and they sold off their Montreal condo and moved up north full time in 2000.

Dad continued puttering around and Mom continued her relentless social life. For 12 years, just after New Years, they would drive down to Florida to spend several months at the Ronny Dee Hotel. They were quite a group of regulars and Dad quickly began the man to beat in shuffleboard.

Bobby and Ronny moved out to Calgary to pursue their careers and I consider myself blessed to have been fortunate enough to have stayed around to enjoy his life. I began my own family and when Alex and Leah were born the cycle began once again. Dad was with me at Sandy Beach when Alex caught his first fish at the age of 2 years old. Dad loved all of his grandchildren and affectionately called Alex “Poncho” and Leah “Ponchetta”.

I did with my Dad what he did with me and for many summers we would rent a cabin up in the Reserve des Laurentides north of Quebec City for trout fishing. The alarm rang at 2 a.m. in time for breakfast and some great coffee and then a one hour drive on logging roads in the dark to be at the lake by daybreak around 4.30. We would have no problem at all sitting in a boat fishing for 10 hours. There were times when we filled the cooler so much that it was hard to carry it. Suppers those days were at 5 and we would be back in bed by 7.30 only to start it all over again the next day.

Dad was very proud of his three sons and his grandchildren and would often just sit in his chair in the backyard in Val David admiring the birds, the flowers and the trees with a look of content on his face. He was so glad that we are all happy in life and are doing well for ourselves.

In 1997, Dad got very sick. After several years battling stomach problems he was diagnosed with Crones Disease, an inflammation of the lower intestine. Dad spent many weeks in the hospital and went from a strapping man of 225 pounds down to 160 pounds. Several transfusions later, they decided that the only recourse was to perform a colostomy. We came very close to losing Dad then and I came very close to writing this eulogy then. Dad did not get discouraged one bit with having to adapt to a rather awkward new lifestyle, probably because he knew he had the undying support of my mom. He adapted very well and attended many colostomy conventions so that he could learn more about coping and living with the disease.

On Thanksgiving weekend in 2005, Dad was rushed in to the hospital. Over a period of six months they diagnosed him with a spinal tumour, kidney cancer, and finally lung cancer. His kidney was removed but they decided that because of the size of the lung tumour and his age, they would leave it alone. He was released for Easter weekend in 2006. True to his form, he embarked on a mission to fully prepare and modernize the house for his eventual demise. A new furnace, hot water tank and air conditioning ensured that my Mom would be comfortable for years to come.

In January 2008, he began radiation therapy for the growing tumour and in July of this year he was told that it had spread beyond control. I was travelling in Europe with Leah and he waited until we got back to break the news to us. He began chemotherapy five weeks ago but his body was just not able to handle the stress. Mom and I spent the last few hours of his life at his bedside and although unconscious, he made an attempt to open his eyes and speak but no words came out. I can only imagine that it was to tell us that he loved us all and that it was time for him to go. Mom and I left him for 15 minutes to visit Laura downstairs and when we returned he had passed on.

What you have seen of my dad these past few days is only the cover of a very interesting book. What is lying in this coffin is only a dust jacket of a fascinating novel that is the life of Ted. All the words that made up his life story are now etched in our minds, as fond memories of a very great and proud father, husband and friend. Keep his memory alive forever by sharing a moment where he may have touched you with his kind smile and generous heart.

Dad you may no longer be physically with us but your spirit will remain with all of us forever. We will all miss you immensely and can only thank you for being such an important part of all of our lives.

May God bless you forever.

Dad's Eulogy by Ron Engel

Thank you to all who have travelled here from far and wide to pay their last respects to my dad.

Also want to say a big thank you to Father John Baxter, Reverend Cedrick Cobb and Reverend Mary Gibson for coming today and presiding over the service and making this day a special one for us all. My question to you is, was there something about my dad that I need to know about the fact that it will take the three of you to convince St-Peter to let him through the pearly gates?

My dad spoke very highly of the three of you in regards to how much he valued the powerful words that each of you shared with all in your respective congregations. You were an inspiration and you brought meaning to his life. Thank you for coming today.

So who was this man that we are here to pay our respects to?

To some he was Ted, to his old boss he was Teddy, to some he was a brother, a cousin, an uncle, a godfather, a friend to many, a confidante, a grandfather, a member of a breakfast club out to save the world’s problems, a husband as well as a father and my champion.

There’s a shadier side of him though.

He was a quitter, that’s right, a quitter. 36 years ago when I was 12, he came up to me with a cigarette in his mouth and a 2 pack a day habit, and asked me what I wanted for Xmas. I just told him that I wanted him to quit smoking. Well I guess that just shocked him quite a bit and he quit cold turkey. What a quitter he was. And that gave me so many more years to enjoy him in my life.

He grounded me almost every Saturday. When my friends wanted me to come out and play, he forced me to work with him and to learn things like plumbing, carpentry, and electrical work. I resented it at the time, but treasure those days so much now for all that he taught me.

He also encouraged me to skip school! With our move to Town of Mount Royal, my dad wanted to renovate the kitchen, so he pulled me out of school for a week, much to my mother’s dismay, and we worked together and got the kitchen renovated, all with the skills that he taught me. Not the same kind of skipping that I was led to believe was fun by my friends mind you.

Despite wanting me to become a doctor, a lawyer or a dentist, for obvious monetary reasons, I chose a different career. After he took me to the FBI Academy in the US as a teenager, I set my sights on police work. Afterwards, he was slow to accept the hazards associated with the type of work, but was proud of all the accomplishments of all three of his boys. He was always so proud of us and probably talked about us at least once or twice to each and everyone of you, and that was likely on a weekly basis!

He was once lost for words, something that you rarely saw in him, as he loved to give speeches and do public speaking. But after having two boys, my parents were expecting #3, which was me, to be a girl. Well everything was looking fine as I was coming out. Fine until I got to the waist, then they realized that I was equipped with a bit more baggage than they were expecting. So, not having a name picked out, Dad and my two brothers left the hospital to go back home, to try to pick out a name. While watching the Huckleberry Hound Dog Show, my brothers suggested that they call me “Huck”. Well the name stuck right to this very day with my dad. I’ve always been his “Huck”. About three months ago I was talking to him on the phone and he called me Ron. For some reason I thought that he was angry at me for something as I rarely heard him call me that. I guess it’s better than a boy named Sue I guess!

While growing up, my dad tried very hard to instill values and the proper way of life in his three boys. He told us that he never started to drink until he was in his thirties, obviously not wanting us to either. Well, we caught him in his little white lie when we found a photo of him on one of his hunting trips with my uncle. There he was, sitting on a mound of beer cases with a shotgun in his hands. Maybe he traded all of his pelts that he caught, for beer for his hunting buddies, who knows!

He also didn’t play fair, as I often thought that he treated me better than my two older brothers. But I didn’t mind that so much.

He was quite an acrobat and an expert driver. While making our weekly trips to our cottage, the three boys would rarely if ever fight while in the back seat of the car. But when we did…..dad always had the uncanny ability to reach around and smack all three of us on the side of the head in a row, like the Hanson Brothers, to get us back in line while still keeping the car between the lines on the road.

When I left home to move out West, I was the last to leave to the nest. As I drove away my dad sung a special and corny song to me that we often sung together, but this time with a big sob in his throat, sorry that I was leaving. Today, it is my turn to sing that song to him as he leaves the nest for his last time,

My family and I had the pleasure to come back home and visit him a month ago after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I still could not believe or accept the prognosis that the doctors gave him, as he was in such good spirits, so I rented the movie “The Bucket List” for all of us to watch. He hadn’t heard about the movie but was touched by the meaning behind it. It is too bad that he didn’t have enough time to do more of those things on his bucket list.

I am sure that I can speak for all of us here today, that he enriched all of

our lives in his own very special way, and we will all miss you Dad.

Dad's Eulogy by Bob Engel

My father was a good man,

A strong man,

And an honorable man

He gave me strength when I was weak

He picked me up when I fell

He guided me when I was lost,

Gave me courage when I was scared

He helped mould me into what I am today

I was fortunate to have spent much quality time with him on our many adventures

The memories of those trips will last forever

As this terrible disease took its toll, I watched him weaken and begin to suffer

I grieve with all of you

But now he is pain free and in a better place

Thank you for coming

Love you dad

GRANDPA’S EULOGY

By Alex Engel

It is with much grief that I stand before all of you on this day to speak of a wonderful man who has become, at this point in time, a wonderful memory……my Grandfather. A man of great character and strength that I looked up to for almost eighteen years of my life and by whom I have always felt inspired. Maybe it was the way he could solve my problems or build anything from scratch, or possibly the way his bright blue eyes would light up at the sight of his offspring, emanating a true, unconditional love comparable to that of my wonderful Grandmother, his ever loving wife. A unique combination of experiences and beliefs molded this beautiful man who, in my life, was a second father figure. I hold great memories of a little log cottage, built with his bare hands, where he used to reside with my Grandmother. I would spend hours playing in the little sandy ditch in front of the house, unconsciously being watched over by his valiant eyes because, he later told me, “You were the most beautiful little boy and I was afraid that someone might steal you.” I would later return to the yard and sit on his lap and learn to enjoy the little but most beautiful things life could offer. He would rock me gently with his knees, singing happy songs or reading stories of a red pickup truck. Afterwards, we would indulge in some of my grandmother’s delightfully unique culinary concoctions sipping at cans of his favorite cherry cola.

Later on he and my father brought me on my first fishing trip, a few streets away from his house, at Sandy Beach in Val David. It was on that day that I caught my first sunfish and I remember how wonderful it felt. It was amazing to see his eyes beaming at me as if he had once again caught his own first fish. This was the first of many beautiful trips where the reunion of three generations would indulge in the wonderful experiences nature could offer. As I grew older, I experienced a good deal of turmoil, and dealt with it the way I felt was right. I then truly became aware of how much he admired me and my values. The love he had given to me found itself growing through my youthful person. I looked at myself now, and know for a fact that he is proud of the young man his own son brought to this world. I have ambitions of one day experiencing similar situations with my own son and father.

I speak of him today and still hardly believe he is gone. This is the first time I lose someone who is so close, and I will keep only good memories of him. I will always remember our relationship as one of the most positive relations I have ever had, because we admired each other. He had many more yearsof experience than me and yet yet he would never consider my opinions and feelings as being less valuable than his. By being like this he taught me one of the fundamentals of life. We are made to evolve together and learn from each other and from the admirations we shared. Today his physical shell lies motionless, but the strong spiritual energy that once animated it is immortal, present in each of us, in the giant lakes and trees, in the breeze that carresses our skin. I would like to take a moment with my own father to share a special handshake that we’d all use whenever we saw each other.

GRANDPA’S EULOGY by LEAH ENGEL

First of all my grandpa is not somebody you can described easily. So many qualities lightened his being. His great heart, his good sense of humour and his fairness are only a few that I can name.

I would say he is one of the most authentic persons I have ever known in my life. He knew how to listen to others without forgetting about his own opinion. I will always remember how he would kindly greet me with his priceless smile and saying “Ehh…Ponchetta”.

I am truly going to miss his physical presence in my life but at the same time it’s almost like a relief because he was beginning to suffer more and more. He definitely marked a great place in my heart. After all, this whole thing is only part of life. The best thing that I think everybody can do to honour this man of integrity is simply to remember the great memories he left behind, and of course what he accomplished during his life.

From this day I know that his soul rests in a higher state and I know he will be watching the people he loved from a higher peak and will be guiding us on days when the path of our lives doesn’t appear so clear in front of us.

Grandpa I really loved you, love you and always will and please know that we all do.

I will never forget the time you told me that we have to continue the family and keep the name Engel on this planet. Your exact words were “replace thyself on earth, plus one.” I hope that this generation will follow the example you’ve presented to us.

DAD

You were strong and supportive and always stood tall

You were there to pick us up whenever we’d fall

Your hands were big and strong and so was your heart

Your brute style of caring always set you apart

Never once did we worry when you were around

You were a pillar of strength who stood straight and sound

You seemed to know a little bit of everything there is to know

You always embraced a challenge and when you succeeded you glowed

Your family and close bonds were always on your mind

When we’d show up with grandkids you’d smile and be so kind

Your voice was overpowering and sometimes it did scare

But those who knew you well enough

Knew you were just a big teddy bear

The values that you believed in

Were a model of what I strive to be

Love and tenderness full galore

And the patriarch of the family

You ruled your roost with a strong forearm

You looked out for our safety and made sure we’d see no harm

You were the disciplinarian but you were always fair

We always knew inside our hearts

That you loved us so much and cared

And now you’ve gone and left us here

To celebrate your life that was so dear

We’ll miss you profoundly and want to say

You were the greatest Dad in every way

I love you and will miss you forever.

Your son, Danny xo

MAY I GO NOW

May I Go Now?

Do you think the time Is right?

May I say goodbye to pain filled days

And endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,

An example tried to be.

So can I take that step beyond

And set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,

I fought with all my might.

But something seems to draw me now

To a warm and living light.

I want to go, I really do,

Its difficult to stay.

But I will try as best I can

To live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me

And share your love and fears.

I know you're sad and afraid,

because I see your tears.

I'll not be far,

I promise that, and hope you'll always know

that my spirit will be close to you,

wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me,

You know I love you too,

That's why it's hard to say good-bye

And end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time

And let me hear you say

Because you care so much for me

You'll let me go today.