So many memories are flooding me tonight. I can't sleep and, finally, I'm able to cry. I can't imagine why I suddenly remembered that time we spent the night with our cousin Ray's brother (I can't remember his name). I remember we were up until the early morning hours talking with him. We even drove somewhere. It's all so long ago, I can't remember why or where, and I can't remember why we were there with him that night. 

I wish we'd had more time to see each other again. At least one last time. I just looked at my email to see the last time we emailed. It was too long ago...nearly 2.5 years. I didn't even get around to replying. I was probably caught up in preparing for the upcoming tax season at that point. I don't know. I can't remember. All I know is I wish I had gotten in touch with you again this past Christmas, as I'd intended. But, life took an unexpected turn around Thanksgiving, and I forgot to call you at Christmastime. Not just you, everyone I'm usually in touch with at Christmas. If only I'd known I had such a short time left to be in touch with you.

I am so sorry we didn't get to spend more time together these last 10 years. So much was happening that I wanted to share with you. I just thought we had time...

My sweet cousin, I will miss you the rest of my life! We should have grown up together, but life robbed us of those years. We were born so close together and we shared a playpen. Even after I was far away, we were never far from each other, always writing or calling. I'll never forget seeing you again when we were teens and you came to CA for a visit. I was so thrilled to learn you lived not far after I moved back East. We didn't get to spend as much time together as I'd hoped when I came back, but we did manage to get together a couple of times.

Now, I am so upset I didn't even know you were ill, let alone that you had passed. I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact I'll never hear your voice again, never hear you laugh again, never get a Christmas card or birthday card from you with a picture of you and your dog.

I will never get over that I'll never again get to see your smiling face! 

I love you and miss you!

Edward F. Carter

Pamela Ross

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Pamela Ross

3 October, 1964 – 2 April, 2020

Edward F. Carter

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