Mr. Al Norman

Peacefully passed away with his wife by his side on Thursday, December 08, 2005 at the Greater Niagara General Hospital. Beloved husband of Heather Sanders. Loving father of Susan Jepps, Debbie (Chas) Yon and Richard (Shirley). Dear grandfather of Emma (Matthew), Hannah, Daniel, Tanya, Megan, Melissa, Chelsea and Tony. Great grandfather of Cerys. Survived by his sister in law Carol Magee.

TRIBUTE FOR ALAN E. NORMAN

COPY OF SERVICE HELD FOR AL

Play “Imagine” by the Beatles

Good Morning, my name is Cathy Davis and I am the Funeral Celebrant here to remember and celebrate the life of Alan Edward Norman. We will laugh and cry tonight. It is my hope that every part of this service will honor his life.

I would like to say to his wife Heather and daughters Susan and Debbie and her husband Chas, and son Richard, and his wife Shirley that you are in all of our thoughts because of your loss. We want to be available to you as you face the long journey of grief.

May I express the family’s gratitude for your presence. The journey of grief is long and those who walk it should not have to walk it alone. In times like these, nothing takes the place of family and friends. Your presence helps the family realize how valuable Al was to others and reveals the significance of his life.

When something reminds you of Al, share it with them. Send them a note, e-mail, or call and let Heather and the rest of the family know what a significant impact Al had on your life and that you will always remember him. Remember the firsts, the 1st holidays – especially Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries for at those times Al’s absence will be felt with a fresh sense of loss. Be very present at those times and honor this fine man.

As I met with Heather on Saturday evening, so many wonderful things were said about Al, and it was wonderful to see that Heather’s sister and close girl friends, who have all been through similar circumstances lately were there at the house to support her.

I would now like to read the 23rd Psalm.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul,

He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His names sake.

Yeah though I walk through the valley of the

Shadow of death, I fear no evil.

For Thou art with me;

Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.

Thou hast anointed my head with oil,

My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me,

All the days of my life.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord,

Forever.

Amen.

Alan was born on April 15th, 1934 in Wales, to William and Ada Norman. All of you knew Al for many years, and you all carry many special memories as husband to Heather, father to Susan, Debbie, and Richard, grandfather to 8 grandchildren, great-grandfather to 1, and brother-in-law, but mostly friend to all who knew him.

He grew up in Wales through WW11 and could remember hearing the bombing during that time. He left home at an early age to go and work on the ships. He would work his way up to Chief Engineer by the age of 26. He traveled far and wide on the ships all around the world. Heather told me that he felt that the people he sailed with were fellow ship mates and he never put on airs. It embarrassed him that the Engineers and Captains had their own dining room – he preferred to be with the rest of the men in their mess room. His shipmates said that “He was loved and respected, just one of the guys.”

In 1982 Alan would meet Heather on a blind date, and they were all surprised to learn at that time, they had been living across the street from each other. It was fate that brought them together. About a week after their first date, Heather was sick at home with the flu.

He brought her a card and a dried up Italian salami, all wrapped as a gift, and said that “I will know you’re better when you can eat this.”

It had always been Al’s dream to own land and so they bought 5 acres and turned it into a farm. They had cows, turkeys, chickens, dogs, sheep, and rabbits. Al worked diligently to build a green-house, barn and plant exotic fruit trees. They had to make a difficult decision to move to the Niagara area when Al could not find work on the ships there; they drove across the country in a camper and settled in Niagara Falls. He would go on to work at C.S.L. here as a chief engineer up until he could no longer work.

Alan had many hobbies such as making stained glass, and woodworking. I was fortunate to get to see some of his craftsmanship in their home as I visited on Saturday. He had built a beautiful armoire and a clock. As well as that, he painted water colours and was quite talented. He also enjoyed cooking and along with, eating! He was a diabetic, but loved to eat sweets, and I was told that he would try just about every food from around the world. He loved to read and was very knowledgeable.

Al could be very stubborn, but was also thoughtful and kind, and if ever someone had a problem, he was there to offer advice, whether it was wanted or not. He was down to earth, had a good sense of humour and was highly intelligent.

I would like to read you some excerpts of a letter to Heather from her sister-in-law Linda, which describes the kind of person Al was:

If you knew Al you knew he was a unique person, a true gentleman a stubborn Welshman a what you see is what you get kind of guy, but was a man who knew how to love, he

loved his children, grandchildren, great grandchild and even his friends but he especially loved his Missus who we all know as Heather. When ever he did or said something that was not quite right he would always tell you it was his Missus fault, like leaving his teeth at home he would say darn my Missus forgot to tell me to put them in, you never knew who Heather was she was Florence, Brownie and his favorite, “My Missus” but one thing you could always see was the great love between the two of them.

Al was very well versed, very worldly and could always help you in some way with any problem or project you were doing. He never refused to help even if it was to lend you his ear if you just needed someone to listen to you. His sense of humor never quit as I'm sure you all know, his little poems he would quote as he was walking out the door leaving you with a word of wisdom as he always said food for thought.

You know what kind of man Al was when you see what a great loving family he has, three great kids, loving grandchildren and great grandchild and a loving wife. He was a man that I am sure you are all very glad to have had in your life- an honour to know

and will never be far from our thoughts - our memories will be priceless.

A tribute from Heather’s sister …

I always admired Al’s intelligence and there is one incident that I would like to share with you. One morning we were having a conversation and I said “have you ever said something that the minute it comes out of your mouth you regret it and know you never should have said it”. He immediately quoted, off the top of his head:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,

Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit

Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,

Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

This was only one incident of many. He had the most diversified interests of any man I have ever known (witness his bookcase). One very valuable lesson he taught me (not verbally, but by his example) was to be more tolerant and less judgmental. I am still trying to perfect this practice and I would like to say that I feel very honoured to have been his friend.

Al had a wide interest in music from Nana Mouskouri to Pink Floyd and Billy Holiday to Rolling Stones, to Tchaikovsky. We will now listen to the song “I will” performed by The Beatles, another one of his favorite performers. As we do so, you can reflect on one of your personal favorite memories of Alan.

Al and Heather were fortunate to enjoy many camping trips together over the years and I was told that the more desolate and remote it was, the better. Al enjoyed fishing, the outdoors, animals and communing with nature. They also traveled out to Cape Breton Island.

I will now read “Footprints in the Sand” selected by Heather.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Scenes from my life flashed across the sky in each, I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was only one.

During the low periods of my life, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said, “You promised me, Lord, that you would walk with me always. Why when I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?

The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child is when I carried you.”

We are quickly approaching the winter solstice and I sometimes equate the loss of a loved one to that event. On the Winter solstice, December 21st, it is the shortest day. The days surrounding that are very cold, bleak and dreary. We often get up in the darkness and go to work while it is still dark, just to turn around and often return home from work in the dark, never seeing the light of day. Slowly, eventually, a few bright moments are added to the day, and it grows and grows until we reach June 21, the longest day of the year. When we’ve reached that time of year, we forget for a time how cold and bleak those days were and we are surronunded by glorious sunny warm days, where the sun is out from 5:30am until 9:00pm. That is how it is dealing with the loss of a loved one. The first days after the death, it feels like you can’t move forward because the sadness is so overwhelming, the next day it gets a little better. It is good to have hope, if you shut out your hearts and minds to your dreams, and stop expecting to find happiness, you won’t abe able to move on. Caring, hoping and wanting sometimes seem too risky, but they are risks worth taking. Just finding the willingness to believe that joy can exist in your lives today can be challenging, but until you make room in your hearts for good time, you may not recognize them when they arrive. You deserve to allow yourselves to experience every bit of joy that life has to allow yourselves to experience every bit of joy that life has to offer. Samuel Ullman said “Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up hope and enthusiasm wrinkle the soul.”

Sadly, Alan suffered from cancer and passed away on December 8, 2005 after having spent several days with his children, celebrating Christmas together. He kept his intelligence and sense of humour right up until the end. He said” I am very sad, but not afraid.”

I will now read: Do not Stand at my Grave and Weep.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake in the mooring hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

A person’s legacy is measured by the gifts they leave behind, Alan’s legacy is that he gave a part of himself to members of his family and they wish to light a candle this evening in his memory. The first candle will be lit by Heather’s friend Stella, representing the past in remembrance of Alan and all of the love and memories you have associated with him.

The second candle will be lit by Heather’s nephew, Jeffrey, to represent the present and that you may find peace and hope in coping with your loss.

The next candle is for the hope of the future, which will be lit by Heather representing over 23 years of love shared between them and on behalf of his children Susan, Debbie and Richard as well as his grandchildren and great grandchild representing the next generation in remembrance of Alan for all of the individual characteristics that have been passed on to them.

During the lighting of the candles, we will listen to the song- “I Will Remember You,” by Sarah McLaughlin.

The lighting of the flame has always been symbolic to the human world; the eternal flame stands for the remembrance of those gone before: the light of a candle has come to represent rebirth and renewal. These two meanings are incorporated in the lighting of these candles as we pass the flame from one to another. Let this light signify the ever-present love and memory of your loved one which will always live on in your hearts. Together we share and divide our pain. As we have lighted the candles this morning in remembrance of Alan we do so as those who care, who share, and who remember.

You will be forever changed, forever altered by this loss. And that is as it should be. The intensity of the hurt only bears testimony to the depth and meaning of this relationship in our life.

Alan was and remains a part of you. Treasure his memory; hold Alan close to you still. You will carry Alan with always. But the sharp edges of this pain, this relentless sadness will, in due time, give way to something gentler, something more bearable.

In time, you will remember and laugh out loud at some old joke you shared with Al, you will believe you hear the sound of Alan’s voice and the way he fondly teased or encourage or understood you. You will find solace in the myriad of things and creatures and people in which Alan took an interest. And slowly, surely…some healing and comfort will come.

We say good-bye to Alan and wish him a gentle journey as he goes away from us. We will treasure and honour the gifts and the gusto for life Alan so beautifully modeled for us.

May God hold him in the palm of his hand. We will now say the Lord’s Prayer as Jesus taught us all to say,

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done

on earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory

Forever and ever

Amen.

The family has asked me to invite you to a reception following this celebration of Al’s at Heather’s home located at 5315 Slater Ave., where you may continue sharing stories and laughter.

Before we leave here this evening, we will be handing out balloons, which the family is choosing to release when we leave here. I hope that this part of the service can symbolize the letting go of your grief. At times you may resist letting go. However, it is possible to free our ever lasting love from the painful feelings and we honour Al by doing so. The unseen currents can carry these balloons filled with the memories of Al which will carry your love and remembrance into the world we share together.

Play Rolling Stones, “Mother’s Little Helper”