Neil James Hillman

“Seeing is believing.” For many, those words simply represent a motto. But for Neil James Hillman, it summarized in every way who he was. He was modest, quiet and observant, taking in everything around him and always thinking before acting. He was a realist, someone who was efficient and practical in everything he did. He was a friendly person who truly cared about those around him.

Neil was born on February 16, 1952 at the Hospital in Bracebridge, Ontario. He was the son of Lois and Bill and was raised in Bracebridge on Hillman's Lake, he was brought up to be tolerant and trustworthy. As a child, he learned to be conscientious and responsible. These were traits that he would carry with him throughout his life.

As a young boy, Neil was always aware of how others around him felt and this quality served him well. With a deep capacity to tolerate the feelings of others, Neil was generally able to avoid conflicts. It seemed as if Neil was the family member who was always working to keep stress at bay. Preferring a quiet environment where he could concentrate, Neil also had the ability to relate well with his family and friends. Neil was raised with six siblings, Rosemary, Julie, Diana, Steven, Walter and Bill. Neil was constantly involved in activities with his family. Neil and his siblings had the typical rivalries while growing up but they deeply cared for each other and shared many life experiences over the years.

Growing up, Neil was one of those children who didn’t need to be in the center of a whirlwind of activity. He was content to entertain himself. Neil was never pushy when it came to games and other activities, but rather, he was able to enjoy the pure fun these could bring. In just about everything he did as a child, Neil was intent on pleasing both the adults and the other children around him. Neil took part in cross country running as a child and he was also in Scouts Canada. In his spare time he liked fishing, swimming, running and hunting.

Neil enjoyed learning. He always had a great memory and was particularly skilled at retaining factual information. Neil was generally quiet in class, learning best through observation. He often showed great concentration and was competent at completing the tasks at hand. Good with details, Neil was painstaking and accurate in his efforts. All of these talents culminated in a successful high school career. He graduated from Bracebridge Secondary School in 1971. Neil enjoyed some courses more than others, having favourite subjects and teachers. His favourite class in high school was shop and his favourite activity was track.

Neil had a good disposition for the challenges of college. He seldom enjoyed reading, so all of those lengthy required reading assignments seemed to be more of a burden for him. Neil worked hard to absorb and remember everything he read. Not all things came easily to Neil, however, and he found success by being a diligent and accurate person who would dig into a project and work through until it reached its completion. He was very thorough and laboured long and hard in order to reach his goals. Neil went to college for Civil Engineering and later in life, trained as a Computer Technician. His favourite course was Poker in the lounge.

Most folks would say that Neil was shy until they got to know him. Those who were privileged to know him well learned that he was a solid, good friend. Neil was reluctant to generalize about people, and he based his friendships on his personal experiences. Because of this, Neil best trusted those people that he truly knew. He was concerned about how those around him felt, and he always seemed to uncover the positive side of people. He could relate to others and had the ability to see their point of view, to “walk a mile in their shoes,” as the saying goes. The friends that he made, Neil kept. While growing up, some of his best friends were his brothers, sisters and cousins. Later in life, he became friends with his wife Kathleen and her brothers and sisters, as well as all the kids he came into contact with.

Love can’t be defined but must be experienced. That was so true for Neil. On April 6, 1973, Neil married Kathleen McCluskey at St. John's Church in Toronto, Ontario. He was totally committed to Kathie and maintained traditional ideals about marriage. It was as if Neil naturally sensed his spouse’s needs, and accepted those feelings unconditionally. Although Neil disliked conflict, he did not take flight from discord, but rather sought to preserve harmony even during the most trying times.

Neil was a good father to his children. He had “old fashioned” parental values and could handle typical family conflicts in a fair and calm manner. Because he trusted emotions, Neil was reluctant to force issues though he was always able to voice his own unique opinions to help resolve situations. In this way he seemed to radiate an aura of warmth and caring to those around him, always thinking before acting. In addition, Neil was a master planner. Neil was blessed with two children, son James and daughter Erin. He was later blessed with two grandchildren, Todd and Reid.

If you gave Neil a deadline, he would do everything he could to meet it. At work, Neil was always on task. Without hesitation, Neil would stick to any assignment and see it through to its completion. He was a perfectionist in all he did, and you could see his labours in the work he did. His primary occupation was as a general contractor. He owned his own company for 37 years (Hillman & Son Carpentry Ltd.). During that time, Neil excelled in working with small groups in order to complete assignments. He was able to quickly grasp concrete ideas and could organize and plan the best way to accomplish things with remarkable consistency. Neil was good at staying on track and was considerate in listening to what others had to say. In this way, Neil had a true gift for being able to come up with practical resolutions to difficult problems.

Neil liked to experience things first hand, in addition to simply learning about them. This quality influenced Neil's choice of leisure time activities. A methodical and patient worker, Neil preferred to set aside uninterrupted time to work on his hobbies. His favourite pursuits were wood working, fishing, hunting, playing with his grandkids, walking his dogs, flying his drones and playing the lottery. He would always have a set of scratch tickets in the front pocket of his shirt, along with a pencil, a pen, and a list of tasks he was working on.

While thorough and measured in his approach to things, Neil often liked to physically do things rather than just think about them. He was like that with sports. In high school, Neil participated in cross country long distance running. Recreational sports included fishing and hunting. In addition to these physical activities, Neil was very active at work. Carrying materials, slugging heavy tools and working in all sorts of awkward positions.

Due to his excellent organizational skills, Neil was a welcome addition to the professional and community organizations to which he belonged. Neil could bring established, successful methods to the discussion table, along with a generous helping of common sense. Neil was good at making and keeping schedules and never got bogged down in unnecessary details. Throughout his later years, Neil was an active member of the Dikadel Pond, Ontario Federation of Anglers & Hunters and the Independent Order of Foresters.

An individual who respected and maintained traditional values, his faith was important to Neil. His compassion, consideration and sympathy toward others was evident in his personal beliefs. He was a member of St. Gregory's Church for 32 years.

Anyone who travelled or went on vacation with Neil had smooth sailing. Kathy was often taken for granted, as she was the trip planner. Neil however would just make everything work. Always planning for the worst, and hoping for the best, you could expect that he would have supplies, tools and provisions packed away for every trip! His favourite vacations included destinations like Nova Scotia and the Muskokas. His vacations were more than just a destination, the things that he and his travel companions experienced along the journey made up half of the trip.

Neil had many loyal pets over the years. Cheerio, his Golden Retriever, was his best friend for the last 12 years. His animal family had at one point or another included his other dogs; Blue, Hoover, George, Boots, and Pepper, as well as his cats; Smokey, Baby, Gizmo, Satin, Mittens and DJ. Neil was as loyal to his pets as they were to him.

Neil passed away from cancer, after a short stay in the hospital on January 12, 2019 at Lakeridge Health in Oshawa, Ontario. He is survived by his wife Kathleen, his children James (Maggie) and Erin, grandchildren Todd and Reid, and siblings Rosemary, Julie, Diana, Steven, Walter and Bill. Services were held at the Oshawa Funeral Home, on January 18th at 3pm.

It is said that some people can’t see the forest for the trees. Neil was able to focus on each individual tree, tending to its needs, thus making the forest stronger as a whole. Neil was a trustworthy, pragmatic and sympathetic person, the kind of man to whom everyone was drawn. He was thorough and practical. Neil Hillman was very literal with his words. You always knew where you stood with Neil. His favourite saying was “A job worth doing, is worth doing right – the first time!”. He will be greatly missed by all that knew him.

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Passed away peacefully with family by his side at the Lakeridge Health Oshawa on Saturday, January 12th, 2019, at the age of 66 years. Dearly beloved husband of Kathleen (nee McCluskey). Loving father of Erin Hillman and James Hillman and his wife Maggie. Cherished grandpa of Todd and Reid. Dear son of Lois Hillman and the late William. Survived by his siblings Rosemary Ward, Julie Shortt, Diana Hillman, Steven Hillman, Walter Hillman and Bill Hillman. Fondly remembered by many nieces, nephews, extended family and friends. Visitation will be held at OSHAWA FUNERAL HOME 847 King St. W. (905-721-1234) on Friday, January 18th from 2:00 PM until time of Service of Remembrance in the Chapel at 3:00 PM. Donations may be made to Sick Kids Foundation; Canadian Cancer Society; or Make a Wish Foundation. Online condolences may be placed at www.oshawafuneralhome.com