I’d like to thank everybody for coming.  The support our family has received has been overwhelming.
It certainly is difficult to write an eulogy for a loved one, and I apologize if I’ve left any relatives out.   
We all know that Alfie would be happy to know that we’re celebrating him on the May 24 weekend.  He will be chuckling to know that some of you may have had to change or amend your weekend plans.  It doesn’t seem like too long ago a bunch of you would be heading to the Denley cottage for the first blast of the summer.  
Fortunately I have so many memories of Alfie when he was younger.  While we went thru a few turbulent times, our relationship has been on solid ground for many years.
Alfie gave me three wonderful grandchildren
Madden at 15 is a bright compassionate confident young adult.  He came into our lives just when we needed him the most.  I thank the universe for sending him our way when Shannon, Stefie and I were falling apart.  He saved our lives.
Vincent and Tinnley loved so much by their mother Jenn, and absolutely adored by their father.  They will miss him greatly. 
I can’t imagine there is a person in this room who doesn’t know about Alfie’s struggles with the disease of addiction.  It’s a family disease that we’ve been trying to manage for years.  In my heart I know he is finally at peace. For that I’m grateful.

Alfred William Gray
Born May 13th, 1983 at Port Perry Hospital.
Beloved son of Cathie Wright and Greg Gray.  Leaves behind older brother Deric and younger sister Stefie.
Family includes Nephew Eric, Niece Avery
 Aunt Marg, Uncle Doug, cousins Gary and Steven.
Aunt Linda, Uncle Keith, Uncle Jim, Aunt Nancy and cousins Jamie and Bill.
Alfie was blessed to have so much time with his cousins Michael and Stephen and shared many wonderful memories especially in Florida along with Uncle George and Aunt Diane.
Uncle George had a special place in Alfie’s heart, and he treasured the connection they had.
We shared lots of family dinners with Baba and Nana and Alfie was the first one to the bread box for a chocolate chip cookie at Babas house, he much preferred them to her raisin pie.
Alfie leaves behind 15 year old son, Madden Gray mother Shannon Mackie.
And twins, Vincent and Tinnley, mother Jenn McCall.
Alfie attended school at Lady Eaton, Scott Young in Omemee, Galaxy Middle School in Deltona Florida, James Strath and Crestwood in Peterborough.
When Alfie was younger he really enjoyed playing hockey and baseball, and as an adult was fortunate to play baseball alongside his older brother Deric.
Alfie was well loved by many friends, and I’m sure everyone here has been touched by his kind heart, his beautiful smile and his warm eyes.

They would also play in the hay bales, building things and rolling them down the hill.  
We also laughed remembering how we, the four of us, would play tricks on each other. I recalled the  time Stefie and I made a haunted house for the boys; they had to wear blindfolds and feel things like  cold spaghetti for "brains." Alfie's reaction was so funny that it made me laugh so hard I peed my  pants. All four of us were on the floor laughing – it was just that kind of ridiculous, innocent fun.  
A big memory for us was when your parents bravely took all four of us on a week-long trip to Florida  in your minivan. We stayed in a motel and had such a fun experience together. We passed time in  the car by trying to get as many truck drivers to honk for us en route.  
When we were a bit older, entering middle school years & your family moved to Florida it kind of  felt like the end of an era. We remember it being a really sad and difficult time. It felt like we lost  our brother and sister playmates. The neighbourhood felt empty after you left. We had been so  used to just walking down the street to see what you guys were doing, and suddenly that was gone.  It was a big loss for us when we were so young, and we both remember missing you all a lot. 
Alfie left this world far too soon at 42, but the memories of the kind, gentle boy he was — building  forts, getting into mischief, and filling our childhood with laughter & his big bright smile — are ones  we will carry with us always. It was a gift to have grown up alongside him in those early years.

Thank you all for being here today to show your love and support for my big brother, Alfie.
As his younger sister, I wanted to do everything he was doing, and for the most part, he let me tag along. I think Alfie’s favorite thing to do when we were kids was tease me. I was so easily bothered — it really didn’t take much. But if anyone else picked on me, Alfie was there in a second to protect me. He always made sure I was safe and happy, and I am so lucky to have had such a close relationship with him.
We both looked up to our oldest brother, Deric. I remember when I was about eight years old and Deric was listening to Snoop Dogg, so of course Alfie and I immediately decided we liked rap music too.
We shared so many memories together — long road trips to Florida as kids, keeping each other entertained in the car, moving to Florida and then back to Ontario and having to start over at new schools. I remember when Alfie was in grade 8 and would walk around by himself at recess, but within weeks he had made friends who would last a lifetime. All of Alfie’s friends became like big brothers to me too, and I appreciate every one of them in their own special way.
Alfie was always fair. Even when he found more Easter eggs than me, we somehow always ended up with the same amount. We shared so many laughs growing up, and when we fought, Mom would make us sit on the couch together until we made up. And then there was the clown nose — because you really can’t be in a bad mood while wearing a clown nose.
I remember going to Buffalo to watch Dallas play football, and how hard he laughed at me when I couldn’t find my passport to get back into Canada. He came to Victoria to visit me, introduced me to how good fish tacos are, and talked me into getting matching tattoos.
I’m so grateful he got to meet my partner, John. And as I told Alfie last week, John can protect me now, so he can finally rest in peace.
I love you to the moon and back.

This is from Kaily - she planted this rose for Alfie:
 
Tell her I planted it on a hill so he can be a big brother looking out for all the kids. 

The students described what a "strong man" is. Its someone who's there for his family, someone who can make mistakes, someone who shows kindness and emotion, a rock
I figured it was perfect for Alfie
I also like that it has thorns. Like his tattoos
Misunderstood but beautiful

Hi Stefie. I heard about Alfie, and I’m so sorry. I know it has been many years, but he was an important part of my life when we were young, and I have so many great memories from that time…both of him, and your family. I just wanted to send my condolences and let you know I’m thinking of you all ❤️

Hi Cathie. I am not sure if you remember me but Alfie and I were in a relationship quite a long time ago. I lived on Alexander and have a son. I just wanted you to know first of all I am so deeply sorry for your family's loss. Alfie was an amazing man. I wanted you to know that if it wasnt for Alfie I wouldnt be here today. He saved my life and he helped me to find the help I needed to get better and be a better mom to my son. I celebrated 11 years clean in October and that was 1000% due to Alfie's guidance friendship and support. I owe my life to that man. Just wanted to give you another reason to be proud. You did the hardest and best job being his mother. Thank you.

I’m sorry this message is late, but I wanted to reach out and let you and Stefie know how sorry I am for your loss.
Even though life took Alfie and I down different paths after high school and we drifted apart over the years, I’ll always be grateful for the friendship we had when we were younger. Alfie was such a big personality — funny, charming, fearless, and the kind of person people naturally wanted to be around. In a weird way, he really helped bring me out of my shell and taught me a lot about confidence back then.

Some of my favorite memories are the simple ones — driving around in his Jeep listening to music, laughing until we couldn’t breathe, and spending our days trying way too hard to get girls’ attention. Those were genuinely good times, and they’re memories I’ll always carry with me.

I’ll also never forget your “Joe Mama” prank calls. Every time you’d call from the other line asking for Joe, we somehow still fell for it. Thinking about that now makes me smile. Your home was always full of laughter, and Alfie carried that same humor and energy everywhere he went.

I know life wasn’t always easy for Alfie, and he carried struggles that were hard to overcome, but I hope you know that so many people still remember the good in him — the charm, the humor, the kindness underneath it all, and the way he could make people laugh and feel accepted. That’s the Alfie I’ll remember.

I realized last Wednesday was his birthday, and I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for you and Stefie. Please know you’ve both been in my thoughts.
Sending you both my deepest condolences and love during this heartbreaking time.

I wish there was some way to take away some of the pain your heart must be feeling right now.  I am truly sorry for what you are going through and what you will go through in the coming hours days and months.  A wise person told me that it is ok to be angry too.  I hope the day arrives soon   where you can laugh when thinking about the funny times and the kit kat song.  Please know that I am thinking of you deeply.

Alfie,
I still remember the first day we met, early September sitting in the lecture hall at Fleming before some random class we had together. Authentically yourself you easily started a conversation with me, some new guy you never met before. That day started a friendship between us that I have never forgotten and will never forget. You had an amazing heart and a knack of making everyone feel welcome. I'll always remember the great times we had in our youth, nights out together living it up, supporting eachother through the ups and downs, working on the Celica  in the barn. You truly felt like a brother, and it hurts so much to know you've left us so soon. You made an impact on everyone who had the privilege to know you, and those memories will last forever. Thank you for being a great friend. Thank you for all of the moments and memories. Thank you for being you. Your energy and presence will be missed dearly, but the impact you had on all of our lives will live on. Rest easy Alf. You'll always be in my heart and I will fondly reminisce all of the amazing times we had. Love you man!

Such a tragic loss for my dears friends may he rest in peace and watch over those who he left behind. 💕

Can’t believe your gone , you were so full of life, a great father friend brother sister son u were may u rest rest with the angels above buddie till we meet again gone but never forgotten xo

We are so very sorry for your loss. Please accept our heartfelt condolences during this difficult time. Alfred was an amazing father, son, and friend, and he will be deeply missed by all who knew him.

Sending our love and deepest sympathy,
The Murphy Family

As his uncle I watched Alfie grow up. He was kind, generous, always had a smile and was a pleasure to be around. He was a great kid and never lost that personality as he made  his way to adulthood and becoming a man. He will be greatly missed by family and friends. Condolences to his Mom Cathie, Dad Greg, brother Deric, sister Stefanie and his children. He was taken too soon but I will remember the good memories he gave us.

My heartfelt condolences go out Deric and his entire family. 🙏🏼

Our heartfelt and sincere condolences to the Gray family. So saddened to hear of Alfie’s passing. So many great memories of him. Thinking of you all.❤️

Paul & Rose Kitney and family.

OBITUARY

Alfred William Gray

13 May, 1983 – 7 May, 2026

Ashburnham Funeral Home & Reception Centre

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