If I could catch a rainbow
It would be from me to you
I'd share with you its beauty
On a day that's well overdue…..

If I could build a mountain
One that we could call our own
A place to spend eternity
For a time to bring you home…..

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them out to sea
But all these things I'm finding
…..I finding impossible to me.

I cannot build that mountain
Or even place a rainbow there
But let me be what I know best
Your Son who's always there.

It's Christmas time again Mom. We have a lot of catching up to do when we get together again. Love you.

It's been two years since your home became brand new
I'm still on my own with old memories of you
Time can be measured, as I count the happiest years
Mom, can you still see the love in my tears?

Can you hear what I say in the silence of thought
Or feel the warmth that I feel in the reminiscing you brought
What you hear, what you see, someday I too will know
Until then I will wait while my questions all grow.

This is for certain…..your gift of love was just awesome
I was so blessed every day in the life of you and Pa, Mom
It's always hard missing you but that search isn't too far
My heart is your home, another place where you are.

Mothers like you have been far less than ample
Few in between, you were of the greatest example
Faith has been my strength, just as strong as our love
You cannot break a bond from those we think the world of.

I remember your smile, and your eyes bursting with pride
Remember that I love you and that I'll walk at your side
We will unite once again and share that new start
You'll stay with me always deep down in my heart.

Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky. So, if you looked out across the sky and found it dark with no stars, it is all your fault Mom. You made me miss you that much. Yes, I am the extension of your pride, your eldest to survive. So with the ultimate thanks, thanks Mom for being the joy in my life! TTFN

Mom, you are not forgotten, nor will you ever be. There is no one who can fill your vacant place. Yes, looking back with memories upon the path you trod, we all bless the time we had with you…..and we'll leave the rest to God. Mom, I miss you so much it hurts. TTFN

Some angels are put on this earth
To care for us and guide us
You can feel their love and tenderness
As they walk through life beside us.

They do great things for us every day
And they whisper in our ears
And they hold us within their hearts
To strike down our greatest fears.

They are always there to give a hug
And to bring our face to smile
They offer up respect and love
And treat us like their child.

God blessed me with such an angel
I'm very proud to call my own
She's been with me throughout my life
…..been with me as I have grown.

She's guided me the best she could
And she's taught me like no other
So I'm thankful I'm the lucky one
Who gets to call her Mother.

For you on Mother's Day Mom.
You are missed……you are loved.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

It means a lot to say Mom that I'll never forget two years ago, that I had to part with a Mother I loved with all my heart. You left a place no one can fill. I miss you Mom and I always will. It's so lonely here without you. I miss you night and day for life is not the same for me since you were called away. As you were, you will always be treasured forever in our memory no longer in our lives to share but in our hearts you're always there. Sadly, Charlie has passed away and I hope he finds his way to you and Hunter. 

I like to think that when life concludes
And for wherever Heaven may be
Mommy you'll be standing at those Pearly Gates
With open arms to welcome me.

But for now, I'm sending Charlie to Heaven
With a parcel on his dainty wings
Be careful when you open it
It's full of memories and other things.

Inside you'll find a million kisses 
Tied tight with a million hugs
To say how much I'm missing you
…..I send you my many loves. 

But all I can do for now, dear Mom
Is go and tend your grave
And leave behind tokens of our love
To the dear Mother God had made.

Mom, we all love you and miss you so very much.

Valentine's Day is a day of love
Mom, just a short note to say
That no one gave more love than you
To brighten up our day.

You deserve my undying love
You earned it from the very start
Every day is your Valentine's
…..a forever place within my heart.

Mom, not only on Valentine's Day, but every day, I am reminded that no one in my life had given more love than you did. You cared so deeply and gave so much; without you, I wouldn't have made it this far. You were the foundation of my life. Your encouragement and support made everything seem possible, because I knew you'd always be there for me, to cheer me, to comfort me, to give me a boost when I needed it. So on this Valentine's Day I wanted you to know that I loved you, I appreciated you, and I felt so blessed that you were my mother!

I love you Mom

Step softly, a dream lies buried here. I cannot see you…..but I can remember you…..your smile, your laugh, your kindness. There are so many reasons why I will love you until we meet again…..the biggest one being…..you are my Mom.

As I look back on my life, I find myself wondering…..did I remember to thank you for all that you have done for me? For all of the times you were by my side to help me celebrate my successes and accept my defeats? Or for teaching me the value of hard work, good judgment and courage? I wonder if I've ever thanked you for the simple things…..the laughter, the smiles, and the quiet times we've shared. If I have forgotten to express my gratitude for any of these things, I am thanking you now…..and I am hoping that you've known all along, how very much you were loved and appreciated.

I love you, Mom

God took you from our home, but never our hearts…..until we meet again. We love you Mom.

My Christmas Wish For You

My Christmas wish for you is but
As simple as can be done
For I wish you hope and joy and peace…..
And days of warmth with the Wholly One.

May you count your many blessings
And when totaled by the lot
May you find that Heaven is…..well
To be more than what you had thought.

May God be your strength and light
And may your spirit never grow old
May all your clouds bear silver linings
And each rainbow…..spring a pot of gold.

I wish this all for you and more
May all your dreams come true
May you have a very Merry Christmas Mom
And a Happy New Year, too…..

Thank You For The Joy In Our Lives

Well Mom it's difficult to believe, that 19 months have gone past
A mere blink of the eye, compared to all the memories that last
Memories that linger……with pride we stand strong
And knowing that we'll meet again, in spite of how long.

It's the strength you had given……at first we didn't realize
That what you gave to remember, slowed the tears in our eyes
Even your smallest of smiles, is what we cherish as wealth
The greatest of riches we now have, is how you gave of yourself.

The gift of you as our Mother…..we now give you our thanks
Time deposited by you, filling in memory's blanks
Mom I thought I could be strong, my private moments are weak
Still it makes each of us wonder, if you hear what we speak.

We pray you're at peace, that you've found that special star
I look up to the skies; I know you're really not that far
If a Mother's love goes the distance, then we'll all need to believe
That our love written on this Site, you'll most certainly receive.

And when I find that star sparkle, as far as our eyes can see
Catch our words in a whisper: Dad, Brenda, Melinda, Debbie and me
We're the extension of your pride, the five of us who survives
So with the ultimate thanks Mom…..thank you for the joy in our lives.

MOM, I missed writing to you all summer. I hope you have been pleased with my visits though. I took dad to the movies on July 17 and lost my wallet that same night. He was very happy to see me. He's doing okay. He misses you so much. I'll be over soon to bring you a beautiful yellow rose. I've been writing to this girl. Her name is Ivanna. She really likes me and I know that you would love her, MOM. She wants to get to know me better before we meet for the first time. I respect her decision.

A little room inside my heart
Has a door that wears a star
With a precious name that's fastened there
…..and this is where you are.

It's not a large room tucked away
But it's where my soul can see
Just where it is…..in case I need
A wonderful memory.

The door is safely closed right now
For a time that's yet to come
But when and if it does appear
The door will melt away for you, Mom.

God

Please, be with Mom in a special way
Give her Your blessings throughout the day
Show her the meaning……the reason for her to stay
Let Your angels guard her; don't let her go astray
Help her see the good of Your work and to keep the evil away
Keep her smiling…..dry her tears
Let her know that whenever there is trouble
She can turn to You
Let her know that here on Earth
She'll never know what she's really worth
But up there……up there in Heaven
She's guarded by an angel, no……make that seven
Three are on her right to help her hold on tight
Three are on her left to help her have hope in the starry night
And one in front of her to help her see the light……Your light
Please, let her know how precious she is
In our hearts even if we're not showing it
Let her know we're always there
To help her out when we kneel in prayer
We may not feel what she's passing through
But let her know we try our best to
Let her know that whenever she's down
We can feel it without wearing a frown
Help us see Your goodness through her
Through Your words wherever we are.

Love ya Mom

To some, love is just a word but to me it's a feeling. A feeling I got every time I looked into your eyes. A feeling I got when I realized you were my Mom. A Mom who loved and shared. A Mom who inspired. Unconditionally. What's that? That's love…..a mother's love. You returned that love time and time again. Possibly too much, nevertheless you did. Thank you…..thank you for being there when I needed you most. For being my rock when I should have been yours. Thank you for believing in me, even when I doubted myself. For being the one person I could trust no matter what…..no matter where. But most of all thank you for being you…..my Mom. A Mom I am so proud to claim. I love you now and forever.

I Feel Thy Presence With Me Today

I feel thy presence with me today
So today my sail I lift
Though heavy with drenching spray
And torn with many a rift…..

Thy star shall light the ocean's crest
And its twinkle my heart may use
To traverse the seas at thy request
To brave another cruise……

It is thy memory that dries
And wipes away my tears
Until with clearer thoughts shall rise
The memory of thy loving years.

I'm cast on shores of barren trees
Where no pleasure there can be
Mom, send thy ventilating breeze
And put me back out to sea.

Mom, I will never forget thy love
Nor how that love was shown
I'll lift high our Coat of Arms above
‘Cause it bears thy name alone.

Thou hast plotted my onward way
And thee wilt not let me drift
I feel thy presence with me today
So today my sail I lift.

I Love You Mom

Not Just On Mother's Day

Mom was there in the beginning
When the world was new to me
Mom was there for all the happy times
And to fill me with security.

Mom was there to listen to my thoughts
And when I asked for her advice
Mom was there to say, “Those don't match!”
Or, “Boy, you sure do look nice.”

Mom was there with me at bedtime
To help me with my prayers
Mom was there to tell me, “It's alright”
When dreams were filled with nightmares.

Mom was there in the morning
To get me up and out of bed
Mom was there when I didn't feel so good
To say, “You'd better stay home, instead.”

Mom was there when I was hungry
And to wash all my dirty clothes
Mom was there when I needed her
…..that's something only a mother knows.

Mom was there in the beginning
Yes……Mom was there in every way
Now Mom's only there in memory
And not just on Mother's Day.

 Happy Mother's Day Mom

All The Memories

A year has passed since you had to go
How I've survived, I don't really know
You were my anchor for so very long
The one who kept my ambitions so strong.

Back to when you tucked me in at night
…..left my door open and turned on the hall light
The little things that you used to do
And all the memories of what we went through.

As I grew older you were always around
Picking me back up when I fell down
No problem I had you saw as too small
You always took the time to hear them all.

But now that you're gone, I feel all alone
And although I know God took you back home
Mom, I miss you so much…..this is selfish I know
But that is how much that I love you so.

My heart still aches in your passing. The emptiness I feel is unrelenting. You were always there for me Mom and I found refuge in your compassion. I am doing my best to confront reality now. This permanent separation is brutal. I think of you everyday Mom. So many times I picked up the phone…..wanting to tell you something new. Then I remember you're not there. Confronting reality requires faith…..that you live in my heart and soul. And that one day we will be together again.

It's the memories that build a special bridge
When a loved one has to part
They help us feel we're always with them
And to sooth a broken heart.

Our memories span the years we shared
Preserving all the ties that bind
They build a special bridge of love
To bring us peace of mind.

It has been only 1 year…..but it seems like yesterday that the Lord took you from us. We miss everything about you. You were dad's Tower of Strength…..his reason for life. You were our Shield of Armour…..our reason to feel secure. We were so proud to call you Mom. The void in our hearts will never heal. I hope that it's true…..that there is life after death and you're having the time of your new life right now. We love you, we miss…..we will never forget you. We love you Mom. Dad loves you….I love you.

God Just Needed Her More Up There

I know sometimes that clouds bring the rain
And winters bring on the snow
And spring is good because it makes
Every flower grow.

It tells me God is everywhere
And that angels all have wings
That dogs can't talk and bunnies hop
…..God shows us many things.

But why'd He take our Mommy away
It makes us kids and daddy sad
Are there windows up in there in heaven
Did we all do something terribly bad?

The Bible said it's not like that
And that children all are good
Sometimes Mommies just can't stay
Even though we wish they could.

It says Mommy loves us most of all
And not to think she doesn't care
'Cause she sees us from those windows
…..God just needed her more up there.

We all love you Mom

If Only I Had A Minute

Mother, if only I had a minute
To say goodbye to you
I'd be whispering what I'm thinking
Before your time on earth was through.

I'd tell you how much I've loved you
And how happy I have been
Though it was your time for leaving
I am sure we'll meet again.

We'll hold each other close once more
And you can kiss away my tears
We'll talk of precious things we've shared
Through all our loving years.

When your time with me had ended
And He called for you to come
Just know that I've always loved you
…..and so has Dad and everyone.

Thinking of you Mom

Unyielding love, the thread of life
Was woven into Mom's care
And God proved that she was not alone
With the pain and toil we bare.

Upon that rock…..a place
Safe from the storm's cold blast
Concealed within the dark of night
Mom's unyielding love stood fast.

In love's deep womb, my fears are held
There Mom's rich tears are sown
To enact a birth of hope renewed
And the strength to call my own.

To my heart's request, new joys commit
And into my hands her pain
To send me out to touch the world
With blessings in Mom's name.

Unyielding love, the thread of life
Hope's vision borne in gloom
Through the tears and laughter 
My future yet may bloom.

I love you Mom.

Well where oh where can my Momma be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to Heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my Momma when I leave this ‘hood. 

She was up late one night, the bathroom door ajar
She hadn't travelled very far
There on the floor, away from her bed
Momma had fallen, hitting her head.

I dropped to my knees and I held her tight
I'll never forget the pain that night
The CPR…..the eyes of glass
The painful breath that she took last.

When I woke dad up, the stars were fallin' down
And there were fire trucks all around
Something warm was runnin' in my eyes
I told him how I found my Momma that night.

I lifted her head, I kissed her cheek and said
“Lord give her back to me for a little while”
I held Momma close, I kissed her one last kiss
“Take me instead” was my only wish.

Dad's now on his own…..so far apart
Every day brings us back to that broken heart…..
Yes, now she's gone and even though I held her tight
I lost my Momma, my life that night.

I Love You Mom!

Dad…..so many memories come to mind
Whenever I speak your name
It seems without you in my life
Things will never be the same.

What happened to those lazy days
When I was just a child
When my life was consumed by you
In your love, and in your smile?

What happened to all those times
When I always looked to you
No matter what happened in my life
You turned my gray skies to blue?

Dad, some days I hear your voice
And I turn to see your face
Yet in my turning…..it seems
The sound has been erased.

Dad, who will I turn to for answers
When life does not make sense
Who will be there to hold me close
When the pieces won't condense?

Oh, Dad, if I could turn back time
And once more hear your voice
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
You would still be my only choice.

Please always know I love you
And no one can take your place
Years may come and years may go
But your memory will never be erased.

Today, Jesus, please ask my Mom
In your home high up above
To drop in and see my dad
And give him all my love.

God hand-picked you to be my mom
For I knew this from the start
And no one else can ever fill 
Your place inside my heart.

Many times I've failed to see 
How much for me you've done 
Or how you gave your very best 
So sacrificially.

But Mom I need to tell you
How very much I've grown
I know you've placed my needs above 
Any needs you had alone.

You've been the greatest mother
My teacher and my friend
You've shown me what it means to give
And give and give again.

I'm thankful for you, Mother
Much more than I can say
All my life, you'll be with me 
And your love will guide the way.

Our souls are joined together 
In a bond that will never stray
You and I, our spirits free
Forever and a day.

This Slight Pain Within My Chest

An angel was sitting calmly, beneath the beckoning tree
As Mom lay still; she could see her showing, just where she ought to be
Mom's life had been long and hard, and she never gave up a fight
As scores of shadows on the ground, lay still by morning's light.

“I wonder if you'd help me, miss,” Mom smiled as best she could
“Free of pain on this morn, would surely do me good
I was up all day and up all night, with scarcely any rest…..
Help me up is all I ask……for I've this slight pain within my chest.”

As she looked at Mom, she could see an image above her shirt
A white fleece gown, with wings to free her hurt
“I don't need those, I count myself luckier than the rest
All I need is sleep…..for I've this slight pain within my chest.”

“Must be fatigue,” Mom weakly smiled. “Maybe I'm getting old
I see the sun is shining bright and yet I'm feeling cold
I climbed that hill, 79 years on, but as I cleared the crest
The night exploded and I felt, this slight pain within my chest.”

“I looked around to get some aid, and the only things I swore
Were big deep craters in the walls, as my body hit the floor
I kept on fighting to stand upright, I tried my very best,
But finally I fell down, with this slight pain within my chest.”

“I'm grateful, miss.” Mom whispered, as the angel held out her hand
And smiled a smile that was, Mom thinks, heavenly so grand
“Seems silly that a woman my size, so full of vim and zest
Could find herself defeated, by this slight pain within my chest.”

“What would my Son be thinking, of his Mom as strong as stone
If he could see me laying here, too weak to stand alone
Could my Son have imagined, as he holds me to his breast
That I'd be lying HERE one day, with this slight pain within my chest?”

“Can it be getting dark so soon?” Mom winced up at the sun
It's growing dim…..but Mom thought the day had just begun
Mom thought before she got back up, she'd get a little rest…..
But quietly God took our Mom, from that slight pain within her chest.

I don't recall what happened next, I think I must have cried
I put my arms around my Mom, and I pulled her to my side
And as I held her to me, I could feel our wounds were pressed
The large one in my heart against, the slight one in her chest.

Rest In Peace Mom.
I will see you soon.
I love you.

Mom, I came up to visit you most every day. I will resume when I get back home. I can't get over losing you. The tears just won't stop. I love you so much. You would be very happy to know that I have finally found Edna Tracy on Facebook after all these years. She's not still hung up on that nail in the barn at Colwell like we always thought. What am I going to do for the rest of my life now, Mom? My life was you. I am consumed with grief. Sorry Mom, but I can't help it. I spend hours in front of the computer writing to you…..hoping that somehow you are able to hear me, to feel me, to sense my heartbeat for you. I am so proud to be your Son. Here's another Poem for you Mom…..

Our Mother arose and stood before God
Which, for us all, must soon come to pass
She hoped her hair was well groomed
Like on her first day at class.

“Step forward now, please, Ma'am
Now, how should I deal with you
Have you always turned the other cheek
Or have you been to My Church too?”

Our Mother shrugged her shoulders and said
“No, Lord.....I guess I ain't.
Because, those of us who marry young
Can't always be a saint.

I used to attend most Sundays
And at times my prayers were rough
And sometimes I've been disobedient
When Your Word was just not enough.

But, I never took a single dime
That wasn't really mine to keep…..
And I've worked so hard for my family
When the bills just got too steep.

And I never passed their cries for help
…..though at times I drank a beer
And sometimes, please God, forgive me
I had shed an unholy tear.

I know I don't deserve a place
Among the Angels here
They never wanted me around
And that is what I most fear.

If you've a spot for me here, Lord
It need not be so grand
I've never expected or had too much…..
So if you don't…..I will understand.”

There was a silence all around the throne
Where the Angels had often trod
As our Mother waited so patiently
For that final judgment of God.

“Step forward now, please, Ma'am
You've borne your burdens well
Walk peacefully through Heaven's gates
You've earned your wings as well.”

My heart is always with you Mom.

When it came time to say goodbye
To a Mother I have known
When it came time to end your pain
And leave me all alone…..

I watched you on your good days
When I felt your strength renewed
But shortly after your little ups
The down days then pursued.

You were seated on this roller-coaster
Of emotions as you try
To make it through another day
And yet, the pain you could not deny…..

And as I looked into your face
On days that had been bad
I saw a look that beckoned me
…..of tired, and hurt and sad.

The little spark I used to see
Behind those glowing eyes
Was growing ever so clouded
By life's cruel and sudden goodbyes.

I tried to see beyond your pain
You felt with every step
And softly whispered to myself
“Mom may soon get better yet.”

If I had the chance to have
Just another day or two
I'd justify my reasons to
Ensure that I cling to you.

For letting go is harder for
The family you left behind
It means that if I let you go
I cannot turn back the Hands of Time.

Back to the days I long for now
When you were so full of life
When each and every held promise
And your future was clear and bright…..

But now the lights are flickering ...
And I trod on daily now
I cannot see my future clear
‘Cause you took your final bow.

I think the hardest part in this
Is never knowing why
I have to be courageous, Mom
But do I have to say goodbye?

For if I let myself admit
It's now time to let you go
I'd have to face reality
Without you…..but then I know…..

That soon I have to face
The final outcome that I dread
And holding on will only serve
To make a mess within my head.

You've given such unselfish love
And you gave it with all your might
But if I hold on too tightly
You'll not move toward the light…..

On to a better life, where you
Can finally be free
Of all the pain and discomfort
That holds you here to me.

So if I find the courage
Just to say this last farewell
I hope you will forgive me
For the time on which I dwell.

I'll hold with me, the memories
That in my heart remain
Pray one day, down the road a ways
…..they'll lesson my growing pain.

I love you so much Mom

Hi Mom,

I'm thinking of you and I'm missing you so bad. I love you Mom.

On Valentine's Day, a day of affection, I think of you, Mom. I recall all the love and caring you had shown me throughout the years. I remember the fun we had, uncontrollable laughter, unforgettable experiences we shared, problems we solved.....together. I think about the comfort, the satisfaction and the strength I derive from having you as my Mom.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mom, today I am reminded that no one in my life gave more love than you did. You cared so deeply and gave so much. Without you, I couldn't be the person I am. You were the foundation of my life. Your encouragement and support made everything seem possible, because I knew you'd always be there for me, to cheer me, to comfort me, to give me a boost when I needed it. On Valentine's Day I want you to know that I love you, I appreciate you, and I feel so blessed that you were my Mother!

Before you were my Mom, you made and ate hot meals. You had unstained clothing. You had quiet conversations on that archaic phone.

Before you were my Mom, you slept as late as you wanted, and never worried about how late you got into bed. You brushed your hair and your teeth every day.

Before you were my Mom, you cleaned your house each day. You never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before you were my Mom, you didn't worry whether or not your plants were poisonous. You never thought about immunizations.

Before you were my Mom, you had never been puked on, soiled upon, spit on, or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before you were my Mom, you had complete control of your mind, your thoughts, your body and all your feelings. You slept all night.

Before you were my Mom, you never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. You never looked into teary eyes and cried. You never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. You never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before you were my Mom, you never held a sleeping baby just because you didn't want to put it down. You never felt your heart break into a million pieces when you couldn't stop the hurt. You never knew that something so small could affect your life so much. You never knew that you could love someone so much. You never knew you would love being a Mom.

Before you were my Mom, you didn't know the feeling of having your heart outside your body. You didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. You didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child. You didn't know that something so small could make you feel so important.

Before you were my Mom, you had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure everything was okay. You had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

You didn't know you were capable of feeling so much......Before you were my Mom.

And when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first picture on the refrigerator, and I wanted to draw another one.
And when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
And when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.
And when you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there was a God I could always talk to.
And when you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.
And when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's okay to cry.
And when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
And when you thought I wasn't looking, I looked…..and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw…..when you thought I wasn't looking.

The bravest battle that ever was fought
Was not by the men with guns
And on the maps of the world you'll find it not
For it was fought by the Mothers of sons.

No not with the cannon or mortar shell
Nor by a sword or noble pen
No, not with moving words or thought
Uttered by the vocals of local men!

But deep within the depths of a Mother's heart
Of a Mother that would not yield
As bravely, silently she bore her part
Yes…..she took to the battlefield!

No marching troops, no banner song
No emblem to gleam and wave
But wow, those battles, they lasted so long
From the firstborn to the grave.

Yet, faithful still as she bridged the stars
She fought in her nightly gown
She fought on and on in the endless wars
Then silently, unseen, she went down.

Oh, they with banners and mortar shell
And soldiers to shout and praise
I tell you the grandest victories ever fought
Were fought in Motherly ways.

A spotless woman in a world of shame
With splendid and silent scorn
Went back to God as white she came
The grandest warrior ever born!

On behalf of Dad, Myself, Brenda, Debbie, Melinda, their husbands and all the grandchildren and great grandchildren: We all love you Mom.

Heartache…..forever felt
A pain so real and true
God took another angel
And that angel, Mom, was you.

Angel wings, upon the clouds
Your body softly sleeps
Hush now dear Mother
No more pain you have to keep.

Memories and kneeling prayers
We all are mourning you
But we'll celebrate the short life you led
By never forgetting you.

I know God will take care of you
Now you are truly alive
Your spirit soars beyond the stars
Your legacy will survive.

You're wonderful, you're endless
Now stretch your wings and fly
We love you so…..I love you so
But now we say goodbye.

Close your weary eyes….no more tears
Just go and be at rest
Let your soul lie peacefully
…..we know you did your best.

It was your time, so as we cry
Go forward that extra mile
You did what you were sent to do
You taught us all to smile.

I love you Mom

I'm walking down that hallway Mom
I'm the only one who can
Pass the shadow of the bathroom light
To where I'll take your hand.

I'm walking down that hallway Mom
To where you rest in peace
Whisper that you're proud of me
And ask this pain to cease.

I'm walking down that hallway Mom
And you know I walk alone
I carry you deep inside my heart
It's a grief I've not outgrown.

I'm walking down that hallway Mom
And I can't halt these endless tears
My life's forever changing Mom
I'm gonna miss you through the years.

If you brought in a Doberman, she'd cut him down to size
And rip him right to pieces, before your very eyes
She's cocksure and bossy, the Queen of every batch
Bring on that tough Pit Bull…..it wouldn't be a match
She's a dirty little street fighter and her language it is foul
She'd be the last one a-standing, never throwing in the towel
You couldn't step near Momma's bedding, nor push her very far
Get out of her shadow and get your hands off Momma's car
And when Momma was alone, she'd sit high up on her knee
She knew there was safety, along with the kitty Charlie
Don't walk by her Kibbles, when she is down at a play
And when wrestling with Charlie, she can be lethal in ev'ry way
She could follow a fox, to the depths of its dingy lair
And she likes household comforts, so get out o' Momma's chair
She'll not walk or heel, or sit when she is told
But she's loving and protective, brave, loyal and really bold
Her life is full of movement, filled with romp, hustle and bustle
We all know she's the greatest, that's Peanut, Momma's Jack Russell.

If God would grant me just one wish
I'd wish to be taken too
I'd want to leave this world behind
So that I could be with you.

I love you Mom

There's a special Angel in Heaven
That's a bigger part of me
That's not where I wanted her
…..but where God wanted her to be.

She was here but just for a moment
Like a night time shooting star
And though she's now gone to Heaven
Well…..that really isn't very far.

Mom has touched the heart of all
Like an Angel can only do
So I send this special message
To the one and only you…..

Right now you're in a different place
And though we are so apart
You're closer than you ever were
…..You're right here inside my heart.

You're with me when I wake up each day
And when the sun is shining bright
You're with me to share my sunsets, too
…..You're with me morning, noon and night.

You're with me when the times are good
And when I share a laugh or two
And when a tear should start to fall
Mom….I'll be thinking of only you.

And when that day should finally arrive
And we are no longer apart
I'll smile and hold out my arms to you
So I can hold you to my heart.

I love you so much Mom.

Bringing you back for one more day
Would re-change our lives forever
I'd erase every worry that you ever had
And all the ties that you needed to sever.

I'd rewrite your past few days or weeks
Or maybe even all the years
I'd decide which paths you could've taken
Just to keep you from those heavenly stairs.

The star-filled night sky reminds of me
Of the simpler things in life you enjoyed
Calmness, serenity and benevolence
While hiding the pain you employed.

Each moment that passes is a sad reminder
Of the life that you can no longer embrace
Instead I'm left with all this confusion
Why God had taken you to a higher place.

I love you Mom.

A Christmas Without Mom

T'was the night before Christmas, as I looked ‘round the house
The only sound to be heard, was the click of my mouse
I'm writing to Mom, and it's become quite the quest
For I've written so many poems……now who would've guessed?

Dad had moved on, with nary a look back
I turned inside out, as I helped him to pack
Now left here on my own, with no one else left to love
I ask guidance from Mom…..and God high up above.

The household now quiet, and full of empty beds
And over on Mom's dresser, an assortment of meds
My hammer at the keys, was reduced to a tap
More Spell Check, more coffee…..I'm in need of a nap!

When high overhead, there came such a clatter
I swung back on my chair, to see what was the matter
I was frantically typing; my fingers moved in a flash
As in from the road, comes Darrin's van with a crash.

He stumbles in the rain, now changing to snow
For those who can't tell, they'd say he was slow
My door, it swings open, and like a lost deer
He entered my room…..yeah…..and guess who appears.

He couldn't stay long, he was off in a flash
Oh look there goes Darrin, in need of some cash
More rapid than eagles, he takes flight from the drive
He proof-read this poem, but didn't know I was alive.

“More rhyme, more reason, more verses well writtin'”
One more word, and he would've been bitten
To the last of requests and shadows on the wall
Now click away, click away, click away all.

On to Times New Roman, down on Control +E
I've near now done finished, Mom's poetry
The sun was coming up, as my fingers they flew
With the click of Page Layout and Orientation too.

And then in a twinkling, I soon was aloof
The poem was finished, now ready for proof
I poured some more coffee, enough to go ‘round
And throughout my hard swallows, there came not a sound.

A 2010 card proudly stood, high up on the shelf 
I smiled when I saw it, in spite of myself
“Merry Christmas…..Mom and dad” was all that it said
…..I found myself wondering why she went on ahead.

I spoke not a word, but went back to my work
I twisted and I squirmed, and I gave quite a jerk
I planted my feet, and I curled up my toes
That's when it happened, a tear ran down my nose…..

I sprang from my chair, clenched my fist, gave a holler
My  “right click” finger hurt, as I grabbed for my collar
I was heard to exclaim, as I logged off for the night
 “A Christmas without Mom…..it will never be right!”

 Christmas 2011

If you ever you lose your mother
Who means the world to you
The one you love so very much
…..you'll miss her like I do.

You'll forever have this heartache
And you'll feel that awful pain
And you'll shed those bitter tears
…..that cascade like falling rain.

If you'll ever have this feeling
(And I pray that you never do)
It's when you lose your mother
You'll lose the biggest part of you.

Life will never be the same
Since Mom's been called away
But she knows we'll always love her
On each and every day.

Momma's tears began 58 long years ago
When she was asked “Will you marry me”
She said yes and they were happy tears
When daddy had knelt on bended knee.

Momma's tears had flowed once more
The day that I was born
These were tears mixed with daddy's love
In his army uniform.

Momma's tears were shed once again
When I spoke my very first word
I thought that day would never come
For mama swore…..I heard!

And there were times when I got sick
My fever would come on fast
Momma's tears of worry startled all
Wondering how long it would last.

Before long I had started school
Momma kept strong, she watched me go
But when I came through that door
Momma's tears had a steady flow.

Soon, she knew, there would come a time
When I'd become a man
For Momma's tears would continue on
When another would hold my hand.

“Someday you'll understand these tears
When you hold your daughter or son
But for now I'll keep you to myself
For Momma's tears …..you are my number one.”

I love you Mom

I often lay awake at night
When the world is fast asleep
To take a stroll down memory lane
With tears upon each cheek.

Remembering you is the easy part
Yes, I do that every day
But missing you is the heartache
That never seems to go away.

I hold you close within my heart
And there you shall ever remain
Life drags on without you, Mom
For life will never be the same.

And for those who still have a brother
Or a sister that's kind and so true.....
 You will never know such emptiness
‘Til the Angels take your Mother from you.

I can shed tears that Mom is gone 
But can I smile because Mom had to leave
I can close my eyes and pray that Mom'll come back
But can I open my eyes and see all that Mom has left
My heart can be empty because I can't hold her
Or it can be full of the love that we shared
I can turn my back on tomorrow and live for yesterday
But can I be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
I can remember Mom and only that she's gone
Or I can cherish her memory and let it live on
I can cry and close my mind, be empty and turn my back
But can I do what Mom would want: 
To smile, to open my eyes, to love and to go on!

God took you from our home Mom…..but never our hearts.

Proverbs 31: 10-21

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She looks for wool, and flax, and works with her hands in delight.
She is like merchants' ships; she brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She finds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong. She senses that her merchandise is good: her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hand to the poor; and reaches forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household is clothed with scarlet.

Dad and the whole family miss you so much during this holiday season. No holiday will ever be the same ever again Mom. We miss you and we love you. You make sure that God has something under the tree for you because I had already asked him to make sure He did. You always did deserve the best. You worked hard for us your whole life and never once complained. In tribute to your beautiful memory, I implore your inspiration to noble and intelligent living as I cherish the recollections of your lifetime.

I pray, O God that the soul of my dear Mother be bound up in the bond of eternal life, together with the souls of all the righteous that are in Thy keeping. Amen.

hi mom

just a short note to let you know i still miss you so much. i have taken to writing dad an email every sunday to take the place of me calling you. I cried today as i received a christmas card and a birthday card in the mail today and it just says love dad where it use to say mom and dad.

this would have been a good winter for you mom as it has been warm and no snow. i know how you hated the cold.

i will write dad his letter today as xmas day is sunday and we will have a video chat with him so i dont think he needs a letter that day.

i have a memorial corner with animals and an arbor with lights. i sit out there when it is nice and i feel closer to you somehow but i havent been able to go out there lately so i sit at my dining room window because i can see the corner from there and i talk to you. i would like to think that you can here me but i have mixed feelings about how things work. some say you are in heaven and others say that you know nothing until the reserection and it will seem to you that you were only asleep for 1 night. i just dont know which way i want it to be, either way i cry when i think about it.

well i will go for now and write dads letter. i will try to scrounge up some excitment about xmas for my grandchildren that will be here over xmas but between you and me my heart isnt in it this year. love you and miss you.

your favorite daughter lol
debbie.

I lay me down to sleep, as we close in on Christmas morn
I slip between the covers, so comfortable and warm
A wave of guilt looms over me, followed by a saddened tear
I say another lonely prayer, that only God can hear.

I turn the table lamp off, and I quickly settle in
But it'll be a few more hours, before my slumber begins
I lie here all motionless, eyes wider than the sky
I try to think of happy thoughts, but still…..I break down and cry.

I punch my flattened pillow and try to keep focus on track
I'm thinking of my Mother, who won't be coming back
I finally stop my crying, and a calm sets in my heart
For I know my life will quickly pass, then we'll no longer be apart.

Christmas is supposed to be, the season yet to come
But this is the first Christmas, of a boy without his Mom
My eyes are feeling heavy now, so I'll send God one last prayer
“Please protect my Mother, until I'm welcomed there.”

I Love You Mom
Merry Christmas 2011

Memories are like roses
Blooming for evermore
They're full of fragrant sweetness
That I've never known before
Life must have a meaning
…..and goals for which to strive
Memories are lights that burn bright
To keep your heart alive.

Though we are separated, Mom, at this solemn moment when I stand before you, I call to mind the love and attentiveness with which you tended and watched over my childhood, ever mindful of my welfare, and ever anxious for my happiness. I feel the closeness of your spirit, mother dear, and my heart is filled with tender emotion as I recollect the many sacrifices you made to ennoble my heart and instruct my mind. I am grateful for your every blessing, your kindly deeds, your understanding heart, your sacrificial devotion and your warm love so freely given. What I achieved is because of your influence, and what I am, I have become through you. Indeed, the wisdom that you imparted unto me shall ever remain with me.

It was seven months ago today
The Lord heard my frantic plea
“Please don't take my Mom
Instead please God, take me.”

I held her with crushing sorrow
As I pleaded for Mom to live
To God I screamed asunder
That my own life, I would give.

I dropped to my knees in heartbreak
And I watched my dad fall apart
I could feel the collective shatter
Of our whole family's broken heart.

It was seven months ago today
Our lives were forever changed
Instead of joy Mom brought into our lives
Only the sweet memories have remained.

It is said that time heals us all
But this wound just cuts too deep
Time has only made me ill
For I cannot halt the tears I weep..

I love and miss you so much Mom
But I can still hope and pray
That soon I will hold you once again
 Like I did seven months ago today.

A Mother's Kiss

We all rush through life so often
Without stopping to smell the rose
And we take each day for granted
As we trip over our feet an' toes.

We've never stopped to measure
Anything that we just might miss
But if the wind should blow by softly
You'll feel your Mother's kiss.

A kiss she's sent from Heaven
Mom's kiss from up above
Mom's kiss…..that is very special
…..from someone that you love.

For all your pain and sorrow
A Mother's kiss will help you through
This kiss is very private
Because it's meant for only you.

So when your heart is heavy
Filled to the brim with tears and pain
And there's no one to console you
Just remember once again…..

About the one you grieve for
The one that you sadly miss
And the gentle breeze you took for granted
Was now and forever…..a Mother's kiss.

If there's one face I'd rather see
So wonderful and true
One smile that makes a difference
In everything I do…..

If there's one hug I long to feel
And one voice I long to hear
Whenever joy fills my heart
Or I just need someone near…..

If there's one joy, one person
From which I've pain to be apart
It's you, dear Mother
My world…..my life…..my heart.

Mom, I was in Wal-Mart yesterday shopping for Coke that was on sale. I instinctively reached for a Christmas gift for you. When I caught myself, tears filled my eyes. This is going to be hard Mom…..a Christmas without you. There will be no stuffing, no mashed potatoes, no turkey and no cranberries. There won't be any gifts for you. I miss you Mom. The greatest gift you have ever given me is your love. I will cherish that forever. I love you Mom. I hope God hands out gifts to his Angels. He knows my heartache better than anyone. He also knows when it will be my time to see you again. Until then…..hugs and kisses Mom.

That Was Our Christmas Long Ago

Frosty days and chilly nights
Real trees trimmed with tiny lights
Stomping footprints in the snow
…..that was our Christmas long ago.

Dad and my sled and screams by me
An angel atop our Christmas tree
Starlight shines and candle glow
…..that was our Christmas long ago.

Tippy-toe quietly on the stair
Somber carols filled the air
Stockings were hanging in a row
…..that was our Christmas long ago.

Star filled nights so still and blue
Mom and dad calling out to you
Life, so fast, but oh so slow
…..that was our Christmas long ago.

I miss you so much Mom.

Hello there Jesus
Yes, I'm on bended knee ag'in
But I'm not asking this time
For forgiveness for ev'ry sin.

I prayed to talk to Mommy
‘Cause I know she's there with you
If my prayer can reach to Heaven
Then Jesus, patch me through.
 
Please give me one more chance
To say how much I love her
Oh, let me hear her sweet voice
One more time, oh, Jesus, Sir.

For I want her to know how much 
I'm thinking of her all the time
If my prayer can reach to Heaven
Please…..put my Mommy on the line.
 
All those things I should have told her
When I still had every chance…..
But one day, Lord, you took her
With no warning in advance.

So now I'm begging you please
Give me one last opportunity
If my prayer can reach to Heaven 
Let my Mommy talk to me.

Your First Christmas In Heaven

You'll be spending your first Christmas in Heaven
It'll be a magnificently wonderful time
Shoulder to shoulder with saints of all ages
All who found Christ in the heart of their prime.

You'll be singing with the Choir of Angels
And we all know how you loved to sing
Belting out that celestial music
In honour of our Savior and King

There are those glad songs of redemption 
Of how Jesus to Bethlehem came
And why He became to be known as Jesus
So all may be saved through His Name!

Oh, Mom, I wish that I could be with you
For no Christmas on Earth could compare
With all of the rapture in the glory
I could witness in Heaven up there.

I know how you always loved Christmas
It was such a beautiful time of the year
With all of our loved ones around us
The joy in your smile made it so clear.

Yes, now I can see why you loved it
And, oh what a gem it would be
When all of us soon will be with you
To share in all the glories you see!

So, Mom, from Earth to Heaven, I send greetings
I'll look up ‘til the dawning appears
Mom, oh what a Christmas awaits us
Where there's no more partings or tears!

My tears won't stop flowing Mom. Every special occasion is going to rip me apart. I am so sorry. I love you Mom.

Please, dear God, take some time off
From all those other things you do
And this year visit Mommy's place
….'cause she needs some presents too.

Merry Christmas Mom.

Momma's gone but not forgotten
That's her picture hanging there
It still hangs in Momma's kitchen
Sometimes I look at it and stare.

When Momma put on her apron
It was enchanting for all to see
Deep pockets held such treasures
For all the kids…..and me!

It shined up daddy's bowling ball
Just as pretty as you please
And it wiped daddy's cheek off
One time when he had sneezed.

It fetched cookies from the oven
And it could brush away a tear
It got a grain of sand from daddy's eye
And made a lap for the stories we'd share.

It wiped spills up from the countertop
When she was baking us her pies
‘Twas a symbol of her love for all of us
…..and it showed in Momma's eyes.

Sometimes it hurts to look at it
When I see my daddy stare
Momma's gone but not forgotten
Yes, that's her picture hanging there.

When you were called to God
And His Hand had turned the page
Suddenly you were gone
Leaving me up on stage.

Help me embrace the memories
Before it is far too late
And save my emotional pain
In dealing with your fate.

Enable me to be alert
As my heart burns all about
And quickly and efficiently
Put the glowing embers out.

Mom, you had filled your calling
To bring out the best in me
With high regard for friend and neighbor
And each of our family.

And if according to God's will
I am too to lose my life
Ask God to bless with His Holy Word
My children and ex-wife.

I don't think Mom as gone away
For her journey's just begun
As Life holds so many phases
And this earth is only one.

Just think of Mom as resting
From all her sorrows and her tears
In a place full of warmth and comfort
Where there's no more days or years.

Think of how she must be wishing
What we should know, today
How nothing but our sadness 
Could ever pass away.

We must think of Mom as living
In the hearts of those she's touched
For someone so loved is never lost
When you love someone so very much.

Dear Mother up in Heaven
You're always on my mind
I wish that I could understand
Why you left all of us behind.

And you left your new bought slippers
And all your collectables for years
And when dad looks at your picture
He cries a river of tears.

Your clothes are in the bedroom
And you left your perfume too
And when I need you close to me
I go there just for the scent of you.

You must hum a lot in Heaven
We all think that you might
Sometimes I think I can hear you
When I close my eyes at night.

I miss your hugs and kisses
For you took most of them with you
But I'm glad that I had saved some
In my backpack pockets too.

Me and my dad, we miss you
We don't mean to make such a fuss
I guess you loved us both so much
That you left all of your stuff with us.

We all love you Mom!

Hi Mom,

I can hardly believe that it has been nearly 6 long months since I last saw you. Every day has been a struggle, and I don't suppose that will change very much. I try very hard to celebrate the life that you lived, and not to mourn your passing. You are so much more than how God took you. I miss the wonderful Mom that you were, the hardened “the way it has to be” at other times. I miss it all. Please tell Hunter and Lassie that I miss them too, and of course grandpa and Mrs. New. I know you have every kind of flower that you'll ever need where you are, I just need to leave you some too. Today is dad's birthday, Mom. Now he's older than you…..how'd that happen? See ya soon. Night night Mommy, kisses from Dad and me and the girls and grandchildren and great grandchildren

A Time To Grieve.....A Time To Heal

Have you ever noticed the many mixed-up emotions involved in grieving? On the one hand you feel restless and on the other hand you feel like you don't want to move at all. You feel desperately alone, and yet you don't want anyone around. You feel bewildered, tormented, forgetful, and yet, frantically meticulous. You feel like crying at nothing, and sometimes laughing at anything. Being in a crowd of people is fine as long as they don't talk to you. And yet, if they don't talk to you, you feel as if nobody cares. You want so desperately for someone to mention your loved one, to remember the life that was. And yet it can make you furious if all they want to talk about is the dearly departed, and never mention the living ones. Grief settles over you like a hot blanket. You're as cold as a winter's blizzard. Grief presses on you like a steam roller. You're floating in a bubble above yourself. Grief boxes you in on four sides and introduces you to a pain no one should have to know. But then, once again, you begin to feel compassion. You relate to other children who have had an experience similar to your own, and eventually, with a light as sharp as a sunburst, you hear yourself calling out your loved one's name with an unfamiliar smile on your face. You remember some of the funny times, and feel laughter building in your throat. One morning you notice the sun is shining…..the flowers are bursting with the colors of spring. Three seasons have passed unnoticed.....and, somehow, you are still here. Even though your loved one is still there, you feel your heart swell with a love you never even knew could exist. And you find a place in that heart for something called, Peace.....? And then, ever so gently, the memories enfold you in a warmth, as soothing as a cool shower on a hot summer day, so you find you want to remember. And tender memories of love lift you to unreachable heights, to the brightest of stars…..to the velvet touch of your Mom.

I Love You Mom!!

I cannot lose the Mom I love
For even when she's gone
I find her gentle presence
In the serenity of every dawn.

She's everywhere in the sunlight
That makes my day so bright
She's part of the Autumn breeze
And in the starry skies at night.

My heart is like a treasure chest
That's filled with souvenirs
It's there I keep our memories
I've gathered through the years.

So I cannot lose the Mom I love
For she will always make
Room within my heart forever
And in every step I take.

I Love You Mom!

My thoughts are yours forever
As my heart beats out your name
It brings me back to that bitter blow
That left us all in pain.

Each morning when I awaken
And I find that you are gone
My day renews the heartache
And my life…..it stumbles on.

Are you aware of all my sadness
And all the tears that flow
Mom, the memory of losing you
Will never let me go.

I Love You Mom!

You showed me how to love
The way that you loved dad
And by your unseen hand
To now see what I had had.
 
You gave to me of who you were
The gift of who I am
Your pride in me is now my pride
Built by your own hand.

Your life does not conclude with death
Nor will it end with mine
For all the lives I touch, you touch
And so on through all of time.

I love you Mom.

If I could give our Mom the world
Or anything else uncharted
I’d give up my very life
And be forever my soul departed.

I’d take upon myself her life
With her every ache and pain
And let her come back to dad once more
Where she could live again.

The pain for me would not be pain
At least not for quite a spell
For I’d be doing it all for Mom
And for those daughters of hers as well.

I wish that I could take her heart
And revive it with my tears
And make a deal up there with God
For an answer to all our prayers.

I pray and I pray, but then I stand
As I reach out helplessly
I take her in my arms and say
“Mom, I wish that it were me.”

But losing is the hardest way
With all the pain it brings
And yet there is no other way
To touch the heart with strings.

I’m sorry, but I can’t tell them what 
I’m sure they’d rather hear
For there’s a burden in my heart
And it’s tough alone to bear.

There’s an anchor I must toss
Before I go to Mom
And make my peace with who I am
Before I do something dumb.

I know I wasn’t there in time
When Mom had needed me
No matter what the coroner said
Mom’s time was not meant to be.

Passing over to the other side
I’ve never fully understood
For what Mom was…..so fair and whole
And beautiful and good.

I was sorry…..first for Mom
And then for dad, and then I cried
But I would not be me without
The fact that my hands were tied.

Mom was a gift to celebrate
And not a cause to grieve
…..for as a child this was what
She made us all believe.

I needed but a different road
To reach the common goal
But God decided there were things
I couldn’t partake as whole.

So now, rather than accept what life
Has given in its grace
I’ve looked at what life has withheld
And I’ve turned from its embrace.

Oh, Mother! Your loss has injured me
By what we could never own
You belonged to God…..you had to leave
Now I’m left here all alone.

And all my children in the course
Of what they would become
Will always, always be looking back
To the day I lost my Mom.

It was 3 o’clock in the morning, when Momma took her leave
Mrs. New had come to get her, leaving us to cry and grieve
Momma rose up gracefully, and joined in hands with her
Momma’s healed, she is whole, all emotions begin to stir.

Momma hugged us tightly and kissed us all, but we couldn’t feel her touch
The pain inside us filled the room, oh…..it hurt so very much
The Holy Spirits mulled about and held out their heavenly hand
And they embraced us with their love…..as far as it would span.

We stood there broken hearted, beside Momma’s earthly shell
She didn’t need it now, her soul was free and well
Mrs. New had beckoned, they had to go, their fingers all entwined
Momma didn't panic, she didn't fret, she knew our ties would bind.

Momma visits, I see the signs and I feel her love surrounds
I’d like to know without a doubt, that her happiness abounds
She’s safe with Mrs. New and she’s ever in Hunter’s care
Yes, they will take care of Momma, until we all get there.

Hi Mom.

I woke up yesterday knowing that it was your anniversary.  I didn't get a chance to write though because I needed to get some house cleaning done in the morning and then I babysat Kaitlynn for the afternoon.  Then I had a meeting last night.  I gave you all the news on thanksgiving so I really don't have much more to add to that except that I still miss you so much.  I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving dinner, one that you didn't have to cook.  I write dad on Wednesdays.  Melinda says he looks foreword to getting the letters from Debbie and I so that he can keep up on the news from his girls.  I told you once that Brad and Jenn are working on getting back together.  Well I had a chance to talk to Jenn once when she was up here this summer and she told me that after I had called you from their apartment when they lived up the road from me, that after that day Brad kept in touch with you on a regular basis.  I think she said it was once a week or once a month (something like that) that he would phone you.  I didn't ever know that while you were alive...I just found out recently.  But I'm glad that he was able to keep in touch with you and get to know you a bit better (even if it was only by phone).

I hope you and dad had a nice chat on your anniversary and that God treated you to a nice supper.  

Melinda says dad is doing well.  She is taking really good care of him.  

Well I guess that's all I can think to write about today,  Barry has the day off so we're going to be going to Regina to shop for the day, but I just wanted to get on here to say Happy Anniversary.

I love you mom.  

P.S.  Don't let God work you too hard.

hi mom

i have written u 3 letters, the last one on thanksgiving but for some reason they are not being posted so i am going to tryu again today since it is your anniversary.

i write dad every sunday and he seems to enjoy getting my letters, i send them through melindas email. i know it is going to be a sad day for dad today, i am sure he will go and visit with you, i told him to take a coffee when he goes as you are probably wanting one by now.

i still miss you so much, i cant believe you have been gone for 5 months now. i miss our conversations we would have on sundays.

i hope you are happy where you are. you know i have always had a problem with death. i would like to think that there is life after death but sometimes it is hard to hold on to that. your dad came to visit when shaun was a baby and sometimes i think i see him in a crowd wearing his hat that he always does but my church says it cant be him because the dead know nothing until the reserection so i dont know what to believe, i guess time will tell. i love you and miss you

Dear Mother, beyond all wonders, I think of you today
And speak of love amazing, that words cannot repay
For I can only wonder at every mem’ry left behind
And your blessings without number, my heart can only find
So I lay my heart before you and await my time to come
I honour and adore you, and that’s why I call you Mom.

The flower of earthly splendor, in time must surely pass
Its fragile bloom surrender, to you its heavenly lass
But hidden from all nature, the eternal seed is sown
Though small in mortal statue, it’s heaven’s garden grown
For Christ is your gift from heaven, from pain He set you free
And through Him you are given…..the final victory.

So hear this my darling Mother, these words of praise I say
May we who have lost you, cherish you every day
And whether my tomorrow be filled with good or ill
I’ll triumph  through the sorrows and rise above that hill
To marvel in your memory, an end to mortal strife
And make for all eternity, a celebration of your life.

I love you Mom

Happy Thanksgiving Mom

I know God has prepared you an extravagant turkey dinner with all the fixings. He knows you always looked forward to a special meal on the holidays. I prepared a ham dinner for one church in Barrie and a turkey dinner for one church in Peterborough. It wasn’t easy because my thoughts laid heavily on you. I always helped you prepare the bird so you could cook it. But now, you don’t have to cook…..God takes care of all your needs. I’m looking forward to the day when I can sit down to another feast with you Mom. I’ll be home soon. The race is on between dad and I who gets to see you first. I’ll talk to you later. I love you Mom

Mother’s Day is every day and is especially dedicated to God's beautiful creation - mother, because she deserves recognition and appreciation for being a significant part of our lives. It is hard to think about the world without her, because she is the creator; a person who knows only to shower unconditional love on her children and pray for their goodwill until her last breath. She is the one, who always tops the well-wisher’s list. Spirituality is closely related to every mother, who prays to God for the good health and wisdom of the people around her. Mother’s Day, every day, becomes an occasion to reciprocate the love, care and attention that she truly deserves. A mother occupies the most important place in the life of a child. She is the one who brings a baby into this world, teaches him how to live the perfect life and is there with him in every moment of happiness as well as sorrow. The importance that a mother holds in her child's life can never ever be taken over by anyone else in this world, even a father. For all the love and care that she gives her children, a mother never expects anything in return. However, it is the responsibility of a child to make his/her mother feel special and tell her how crucial a role she plays in his/her life.

Everyone, go to your mom at this very moment and hug her for no apparent reason other than the fact that you love her and appreciate her. Because, before you know it, your mom may be gone and you’ll wish you were given the chance to hug her again. Celebrate every day as if it were Mother’s Day……you’ll make her the happiest mom in the world.

I love you Mom

Hi Mom.  I know I haven't written to you since the day you passed away.  But I need to write to you today.  I haven't stopped thinking of you since that day.  I wasn't a very good daughter to you when you were alive.  I didn't call you as often as I should have.  I didn't bring the boys home for a visit so you could see them grow up and I didn't even come home myself.  But I am so thankful for the summer when I did make it home and we had such a wonderful time camping.  I wished you and dad could have stayed longer, but I'm thankful for the time that we did have.  So today being thanksgiving weekend, I'm thankful that the family is Barry and the boys are doing good as well as Melinda's family and Debbie's family.  Dad is healthy and doing good too.  And I hope he stays that way for a long time.  I'm not thankful though for you being taken away from us way too soon.  I'm also thankful that Jenn brought Kia back into my life, but she's going to continue living in Alberta and Brad's moving there to be with them.  So I'll only get to see Kia for 2 weeks in the summer, but I'm going to be thankful for whatever time that I get.  We're going to Alberta for Christmas this year to see Brian and Joe.  Next year they'll come to our house.  I was so worried to tell you who Brian had chosen to marry and to spend the rest of his life with, but I was so happy when I finally did tell you and you didn't care and you accepted Joe into the family.  

I missed you so much on your birthday.  I picked up the phone to call you and then remembered that you weren't there. I cried the whole day.

I know you're at peace now and that you are no longer in pain.  At least my mind knows those things, but my heart still aches that you're gone.

I know I never told you that I love you, but I hope you always knew that I did.  It's  just hard for me to say those words to anyone.

Debbie is taking pity on me today.  She invited us over for thanksgiving supper because Brian and Joe are still in Alberta and even though Brad is still living here at the moment he works midnight shift so he would still be in bed so it would just be Barry and I by ourselves for supper.  So since Debbie's doing the supper I told her I'd bring the pie.  So they are in the oven baking now while I'm writing this letter.

My boys are so totally different.  Brian looks forward to coming home for visits and camping out with us and having a great time.  When Joe retires they want to move back here.  And brad never camps out and it seems like he can't wait to get away from us.

Well that's all I can think to write about mom.  So I guess I'll close for now.  You go and enjoy your supper with God and remember that we all miss you and love you down here on Earth.  We will always miss you and love you.

I love you mom.

How much I love you I can barely say
It’s more than all these words can hold
You have been my ruby red clay
My potter and my mold.

You are the words that shaped my voice
With a spirit that stood the test of time
You are the will that shaped my choice
My fortunate life and sign.

How lucky I was to have had you as a Mother
You were at the very core of me
Wise and good, you always knew
Just what it was I was supposed be.

And so I came to be that someone
Whom I could be so proud of
And for this I give you the swollen sum
Of all my gratitude and love.

I loved your sense of humor, Mom
And that sparkle in your eye
You were a helping hand in times of need
On you we could rely.

I know I can no longer touch your hand
Or see your smiling face
I know I can’t hear the cackle in your voice
Nor feel your warm embrace.

To the living, Mom, you are gone and to the sorrowful you will never return
To the angry, you were cheated but to the happy, you are at peace
To the faithful you have never left…..you cannot speak, but you can listen
You cannot be seen but you can be heard
I will remember you in my heart…..in my thoughts
And in my memories of the times we loved…..the times we cried
The times we fought….. the times we laughed
For if I always think of you
…..You will never be gone.
Be at peace Mom. I know you’re up there watching over Dad.

The Mom we love remains with us
For love itself lives on
And cherished memories never fade
Now that she is gone.

The Mom we love can never be
More than a thought apart
For as long as there is a memory
She'll live on within the heart.

Mom, my love is always with you
But your loss no one can still
You’ve gone where we all depart
For it is God’s final will.

Time is supposed to heal us all
But I know that just isn’t so
I feel the hurt as much today
As I did 143 days ago.

There’s an open gate at the end of the road
Through which all Angels pass
And there’s a light we cannot see
That puts us in a better class.

Mom, beyond that gate you will find
So much happiness and rest
But I’ve only comfort in the thought
That God only takes best.

There’s something that I’ll always have
Tucked safety within my heart
My love for you…..your love for me
A love that’ll never let us part.

The grief of losing you is so hard, but our special memories help me cope. Remembering you today and always Mom. I love you.

In loving memory of a wonderful person. I ran the Terry Fox Run non-stop today. This is the longest it has ever taken me (1:28.45). I haven’t been in the gym since losing you so I am grossly out of shape. Thoughts of you and Hunter were on my mind every step of the way. I love you and I’ll miss you always. Celebrating a life well lived. I will cherish the memories of you forever Mom.

I have absolutely no one to carry me through my grief, Mom. I only take comfort in knowing that now I have you as a special guardian angel to watch over me. I love you so much.

My heart is filled with wonderful memories of the joyful times we had together and I salute to you a life well lived. I love you Mom.

Hi Mom,

Forgiveness is perfect and converts
The soul in a sin that lies
The past forgiven is most secure
And it withdraws its last goodbyes.

The statues of kind words are right
And do rejoice the heart
A smile’s command is pure and does
Light to the eyes impart.

Unblemished is the fear of mind
When time it does endure
The judgments to forgive is truth
And righteousness most pure.

Moreover, He alone must warn
How you your life shall frame
A great reward provided is
Forgiveness all the same.

I am so sorry that I just couldn’t save you Mom. I tried so hard. If only I had been 30 seconds sooner…..15 seconds…..45 seconds. This pain will remain for as long as I live. I cry for you all the time. I miss you so much Mom. I never imagined this day would ever come. You were my IMMORTAL. I love you so much. I constantly pray that God will take me so I can be with you. I love you Mom. I hope to see you soon.

Hi Mom,

For all the things I didn't say
About how I felt along the way
For the love you gave and the work you’ve done
Here’s appreciation from your loving son.

You cared for me as a little tot
When all I did was cry a lot
And as I grew your work did too
I ran, I fell, I became black and blue.

I grew some more and it didn’t stop
You ran behind me with a mop
You cleaned up the mistakes I’d make
And stumbled over the destruction in my wake.

I got older, and the story repeated
You were always there whenever I needed
You guided me and wished me the best
I became wiser and knew that I was blessed.

So, for all the times I didn't say
The love I felt for you each day
Mom, read this so you can always see
Just how much you meant to me.

I wish I could be with you
Mom, thanks for everything
I’d be free of all the craziness
A lonely day can bring.

No planning, shopping, cooking
Three healthy meals a day
Served up with love…..I cannot eat
I throw most of it away.

No constant interruptions
Dirty laundry on the floor
Driving aimlessly everywhere
At the gas pumps…..I come back for more!

No one asking me to do things
And getting mad if I forget
Me giving up on my very self
…..I’m the friendly marionette.

Prison sometimes looks appealing
(Or maybe the loony bin)
I’d get free time and three square meals
With nothing to do, I’d win!

I’ve asked God to take me with you
For my freedom, time and such
There’s just one problem Mom:
I know you love me too much!

Hi Mom,

I’ve been working long and hard all summer so I haven’t had the opportunity to write to you. By the time I get off work and race in to visit with you, it’s time to catch a few winks and head on back to work. I love you Mom.


Life is not forever but love is
You were everything to me
I miss you every moment of my life
And you will be in my heart forever.

Today I pray for you Mom…..

My very own Mom, who has made such a major contribution to the good qualities I have, sometimes through genetics, more often through great effort and patient instruction, and who has done her best to gently polish away my rough edges. Lord, please bless my Mom for the endless hours of time she spent and the boundless energy she invested in me. Bless my Mom for her sacrifices on my behalf as she often gave up or deferred her own dreams so that I could have mine. Bless my Mom also for the care and dedication she had for Dad. Bless my Mom for always being there for me, for being the person I knew we could turn to when I needed comfort, encouragement, or just a hug. Bless my Mom for making a home for me where I could feel safe, where I felt I belonged. Most of all, Lord, bless my Mom for her unconditional love, for loving me no matter what, and for frequently showing love in ways that made me feel valued and cherished. Lord, please bless my Mom mightily. Strengthen her, soothe her, wrap her in Your infinite love and shower her with blessings too numerous to count, too magnificent to describe. I love her, admire her, respect her, and I wish that You would give her back many times the good she gave to me. In Jesus' name I pray…..Amen.

God must have been short on Angels, Mom. Why couldn’t He have left you with us a little while longer? Your work on earth was not quite done. No one can explain why He always takes the best. It’s just not fair!

I’m grateful for all the times you healed my hurts and calmed my fears, so that I could face the world feeling safe and secure. I’m thankful for all you showed me about how to love and give…..lessons that now bring so many blessings to me each and every day. Your sacrifices and unselfishness did not go unnoticed, Mom. I admire you, I respect you…..I love you Mom.

Mom, I looked at you and saw a walking miracle. Your unfailing love without limit…..your ability to soothe my every hurt, the way you were on duty, unselfishly, every hour, every day, made me so grateful that I was yours, and you were mine. With open arms and open heart, with enduring patience and inner strength, you gave so much for me, sometimes at your expense. You were my teacher, my comforter, my encourager, appreciating all, forgiving all. I know that everything I am today relates to you and your loving care. I gazed in wonder as I watched you being you…..my Miracle…..my Mother.

Happy Birthday mom, sorry i never wrote on your birthday but I had a really bad time that day. i lit a candle for you and said a prayer, I hope you heard me. I thought of you alot in the last month. Crystal got married and there was a few times I wanted to call you to vent about the whole chaos leading up to the wedding. I hope God let you watch the wedding. dad really surprised her, I think he really enjoyed his visit but we were all missing you that day. I miss you so much, it is going to be so weird to go home next summer and you won't be there. Just know that dad is being taken care of by someone who loves him very much, love you, see you soon.

How did you find the energy, Mom
To do all the things you did
To be the teacher, nurse and confidant
To me, when I was a kid.

How did you do it all, Mom
Be a sitter, cook and friend
And then find time to be a playmate
This is so hard to comprehend.

I see now it was love, Mom
That made you answer my call
Your unconditional love, Mom
And I thank you for it all.

You turned out even better
Than I often dreamed you’d be
You’re more than I had hoped for
You were a sweet reward to me.

You grew up to be a mother
Full of wisdom, warmth and love
A good and fine role model
A blessing from above.

I couldn’t be any prouder
Than I am today of you
You were my Mother and my friend
And a wonderful person, too.

You have my love forever
I adored you from the start
It’s a privilege to be your Son, Mom
Dear Mother of my heart.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM. You were so close to 8 Decades. Although you have departed this earth, you have not left my heart nor my memory. I will always cherish the great times I had with you Mom. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to write you. I’ve been off work with an injured foot. When I finish up here, I’ll be up to visit you. I miss the visits so much. I miss you so much. I start back to work tomorrow. Gail is cooking me a roast dinner tonight…..just like you used to. Your granddaughter, Rachel, will be there. I love this girl so much and wouldn’t trade her for any other daughter. We always think of you Mom. It’s really tough getting by without you. I can hardly wait to see you again. I love you.

Mom, every day I take you into my heart and strive to make your legacy live on. You always demonstrated your strength and determination in everything you did.

In one of the stars you shall be living. In one of the stars you shall be laughing……and so it shall be that all the stars are laughing. When I look at the stars at night, the energy and passion with which you lived your life will forever sustain the love and memories I have for you Mom.

Mom was getting old and slower
And her hair was fading fast
As she lay upon her bedding
Telling stories of her past.

Of the kids that she had raised
And all the deeds that she had done
In her exploits with her kiddies
…..They were her heroes, everyone.

And though sometimes, to her neighbors
Her tales became old hat
All her friends had listened to her
For they all had loved to chat.

But we'll hear her tales no longer
For our Mom has passed away
Now the world's a little poorer
When God took our Mother that day.

She won't be mourned by many
Just her children and the man who lost his wife
For she only lived an ordinary
Very quiet sort of life.

She had a house and raised a family
Quietly giving her all each day
But the world won't note her passing
Even though God took our Mother away.

When kings and queens leave this earth
Their bodies lie in state
Thousands may note their passing
And proclaim that they were great.

The media tells their life stories
From the time that they were young
But the passing of a Mother
Goes unnoticed and unsung.

Is the greatest of contributions
To the welfare of our land
Someone who proclaims their stately wealth
And deprives his fellow man?

Or an extraordinary Mother
Who in times of poverty and strife
Lives only to serve her family
By devoting her entire life?

The money of the kings and queens
And the style in which each lives
Are most often disproportionate
To the service that each one gives.

While the extraordinary Mother
Who has offered up her all
Still has to pay her taxes
From the fixed income pension’s wall.

It’s really not easy to forget them
For it wasn’t really that long ago
That our Moms and Aunts and Daughters
Fought the battle to help us grow.

It was not the rich and famous
With their “influential toys”
Who won for us the freedom
That a Mother now employs.

Should you find yourself in danger
With your enemies close at hand
Would you really want some braggart
With his teeter-totter stand?

Or would you want a Woman
Who has sworn to you to defend
Your home, your life and happiness
And would go down for you in the end?

She was an extraordinary Mother
Though her health was growing thin
But her presence should remind us
We’ll never see her likes again.

For when families are in conflict
Then we find it the Mother's part
Is to clean up all the hassles
That brother, sister or Dad may start.

If you all failed to bring her honor
While she was here to hear the praise
Then at least then give her homage
With the ending of her final days.

Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
OUR LIVES ARE NOW IN MOURNING
FOR GOD TOOK OUR MOTHER AWAY.

Hi Mom,
I miss you in the worst way. The doctor said he would set me up with grief counseling. The tears just never stop. Why would you leave me? It hurts so much to be without you. It’s difficult to concentrate on work. I think of you all the time. I got a raise this summer. That will help catch up on your expenses. Mom, there was so much more of life we had to share. I love you. I visit your Resting Place every day. I’ll be coming in again in an hour or so. I won’t abandon you. I can’t. You’re my Mom & I love you. This is very difficult because your time just wasn’t up. When I get to Heaven, I’m going to give God a piece of my mind. There are so many people that don’t care whether they live or die…..& they go on living! It’s a known fact that God only takes the best. I have another poem composed for you but I haven’t quite finished it. I won’t be able to write you for a few days because this is the long weekend & I won’t have access to the internet. I’ll be back at the pen on Monday. So just sit tight. I love you Mom.

Hi Mom,

I miss you so much Mom. It's difficult to make it on my own. If you knew how much I loved you.....would you have fought harder to stay? I have tears for you every day. I am so proud to have you as my Mom. Please tell me what I am supposed to do now. Every day I get off work, I come into Barrie to visit you. You are so special Mom. I hope to be with you soon. I'm on my way in to lay beside you. I'll likely write to you tomorrow. Love you.

I called God on the phone tonight
For I needed to talk a while
I needed a friend who’d listen
To my anxiety and my trial.

You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own...
I need Mom’s love to guide me
Because I feel so alone.

“I’m asking You please to keep
My Mom so safe and sound
Fill up her life with confidence
For whatever place she’s bound.

Give me faith, dear God, to face
Each hour throughout the day
And the courage not to worry
About Mom in any way.

I thank You God, for being there
And listening to my prayer
For giving me such good advice
And being the One to care.

Your number, God, is the only one
That answers every time
I’ve never got a busy signal
And I’ve never had to pay a dime.

Thank my Mom for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow
Good night, God, please turn to Mom
And tell her, I’ll call again tomorrow!”

How very often have you dreamed
A world of perfect bliss
To be the Mother of a boy
And the one you’ll always miss?

To hold his tiny hands in yours
…..to count his tiny toes
And then to place a tiny kiss
Upon his tiny nose.

To hold him very close to you
Warm against your breast
And to gaze into his tiny face
Sleeping and at rest.

Oh, what could be more perfect
Or what could hold more bliss
Than to be a Mother of a boy
The Son you’ll always miss?

I'll always miss you too Mom.

The sands of time are running low
And I, in closing, too must go
My heart with love for you is filled
But soon, too, its beating must be stilled.

I leave no treasures of any kind
Only the memories I leave behind
To be taken and shared among friends
Who’ve always been there to make amends.

They’ll not weep beside the grave for me
Nor bring me flowers I cannot see
‘Cause only ashes lie beneath the cold sod…..
Praying that my soul has gone with God.

There are some, perhaps, that may weep
When my eyes are closed in eternal sleep
But try to remember it won’t be forever
For God can bring our spirits together.

I pray that I go to a world far above
To be with the Mother that I love
To stand before that Heavenly plain
On that day I shall see her again.

I Love You Mom.

Dearest Mother, your life is a true reflection of beauty laughter & love
A precious gift I’ll cherish while you’re up above
When I look into the mirror, all your love I will see
A reflection of the blessings you have given to me.

I was given the Mother of my dreams
The day that you had me
To the Lord, I can’t give thanks enough
For all the things that came to be.

Mom, you showered me with your blessings
And not a day was I without
The things I was in most need of
There was no reason I would doubt.

When days were dark and dreary
And my spirits had dropped so low
You gave words of peace and comfort
To my body, mind and soul.

When I stumbled in the meadow
And it looked like I’d lost my way
Lovingly, Mom, you lifted me up
And kept me from going astray.

Through trials and tribulations
When my faith was growing weak
You renewed my hope and courage
And kept my life from looking bleak.
.
When dangers lurked all about me
As the enemy approached the rear
Safety in your arms awaited
Dispelling every dread and tear.

Blessed am I, tho’ so unworthy
To have had a Mother so true
Greater love could no one offer
Than the love as shown by you.

If you were once connected with someone, does it make sense that the connection is broken just because of a physical passing? No, the connection stays. You may just have to listen differently. You may just have to talk differently. The truth is: the connection is never broken. It's quite impossible to break the most powerful connection in the universe. As long as you exist, the connection stays…..My heart will be with you always Mom.

Mom, hours after you have gone, a good friend of mine said something that will stick with me the rest of my life. She said: “Think of all of the years that you have had with your Mom…..that is how long God has been waiting for her. You are very fo0rtunate to have had her that long.” Mom, you are very special and I thank God every day for letting us borrow you for a while. You will be missed! I took care of all your bills and made sure that Dad’s needs were taken care of. You aren’t here to tape my shows any more so I will likely never watch TV the same way again. I love you Mom. You were my whole world. Everything I did, I did for you. I can hardly wait to see you again.

Mom, you were everything to me.....my teacher, my counselor, my cheerleader, my caretaker; but most of all, my best friend. I cannot even explain my feelings of loss....never has anything hurt this bad. Not a day goes by that you are not in my thoughts, and I just wish I could’ve held you one more time and tell you how much you meant to me. I can only hope to leave the kind of impression on my children that you have left with me....I was blessed to be given this special person as my Mom. God bless you and keep you...............with all my love. You make the world special just by being in it.

Where would I be in the desert sands?
…..Just a grain buried beneath the wind
Where would I be in the vast blue sea?
…..’Cause light cannot penetrate the deep
Where would I be in the darkness of space?
…..’Cause there’d be no star to shine upon me
Where would I be without my compass?
…..’Cause I am so lost without you.

I was given the Mother of my dreams
The day that you had me
To the Lord, I can’t give thanks enough
For all the things that came to be.

Mom, you showered me with her blessings
And not a day was I without
The things I was in most need of
There was no reason I would doubt.

When days were dark and dreary
 
And my spirits had dropped so low
You gave words of peace and comfort
To my body, mind and soul.

When I stumbled in the meadow
And it looked like I’d lost my way
Lovingly, Mom, you lifted me up
And kept me from going astray.

Through trials and tribulations
When my faith was growing weak
You renewed my hope and courage
And kept my faith from looking bleak.
.
When dangers lurked all about me
As the enemy came up the rear
Safety in your arms awaited
Dispelling every dread and tear.

Blessed am I, tho’ so unworthy
To have had a Mother so true
Greater love could no one offer
Than the love as shown by you.

Of all that life has given me
And all that’s left to do
I will never know a greater gift
Than the years I’ve shared with you.

Thank uou for the wonderful life we had together, Mom

OBITUARY

Mrs. Phyllis Dorean Murphy Lawford

30 July, 1932 – 10 May, 2011

Comstock-Kaye Life Celebration Centre

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